A good dad is better than a rich dad

Chapter 53 2 Emotions can be contagious, be an optimist

"Son, do you know how sad I have been since your mother left. Whenever you fell asleep, I would quietly get up and drink, because my heart is bitter... Seeing you are so obedient, I feel good Some, but sometimes you still don't understand me, you don't understand me..." As he spoke, the father burst into tears.

This scene happened at a wedding banquet at a relative's house. The single father confides the truth after drinking, which shocked all the laughing and joking people present. The child felt uncomfortable and ashamed, and took his father home.That night, after the child settled his father, he cried alone for a long time.

Dad is the safest harbor for children. They grow up quietly in such a calm harbor until they become stronger and more independent.The child never considered that his father would be so uncomfortable, because in his opinion, although he does not have a mother, he still lives a happy life. His father treats him very well, and he does not feel the lack of his mother's absence.But after being drunk, my father suddenly changed his temperament and started crying like a child. Only then did the child realize that my father had been taking care of me alone.

From the perspective of children's growth, such a new cognition is like a psychological blow.Both happiness and guilt will affect the child's heart. He may learn to feel sorry for his father, or he may feel that he is a drag on his father. He is very disturbed and no longer dares to let his father do anything for him.

The fact is also that after this drunken incident, the relationship between the father and the child became estranged. Although the two still helped and cared for each other as before, the child's love for the father no longer accepted it naturally, but was polite. , as if suddenly changed a person.

"If only I hadn't said those bastard things!" Dad regretted it afterwards, but that fact can't be changed.

A gentle person in a foreign land suddenly becomes strict, which is very intimidating; a wild and unruly person suddenly becomes docile and decent, which also makes people extra sympathetic and comforting. "The prodigal son turns back without changing money", jumping from one emotion and state to another completely different emotion and state will have a huge impact. It may be nothing to the person concerned, but it is extraordinary to the human beings around him.This is also the reason why in family education, it is advocated that the father's temperament should be relatively stable and peaceful-the ups and downs will have a great impact on the children.

The child's temperament is unstable, he cares about the opinions of the people around him, and is easily changed by the people around him.Some people say that the appearance of a child is the appearance that parents hope to shape.Some children were originally not smart, but with the encouragement and support of their parents, they gradually became smarter; some children were not stupid at first, but were laughed at by their parents and friends, so they became unconfident.Parents, especially the character of the father, has the greatest influence on the child.Let’s not talk about the father’s positive influence on the child. Let’s talk about the negative impact: because the father’s emotional instability, tantrums or beatings on the child, the child’s personality becomes indifferent, depressed, and has no enthusiasm for life.

Regarding the enthusiasm for life, the American natural scientist and writer Dulio once put forward such a psychological law: Nothing is more terrible than losing enthusiasm. Once you lose enthusiasm, you will grow old. People call this law "Dulio's Law ".When a person's mental state is not good, everything will be in a bad state.This is true for adults, and even more so for children.

Perhaps the real difference between people is only in emotion, but such small emotional differences often cause huge differences in results!It is also a person who takes the exam alone, whether you go with confidence or with anxiety, the results of the exam will be completely different.Just like we wait for the bus, when we are in a bad mood, we always feel that we can’t wait, but when we are in a good mood, we find it rare to take a look at the scenery while waiting for the bus.The small difference is whether the emotion possessed is positive or negative, and the big difference is success or failure.

Emotion has a strong motivational role in children's psychological activities.Emotion is an accompanying phenomenon of mental activities, and its role in human mental activities cannot be replaced by other psychological processes.Simply put, when you are in a bad mood or in a bad state, people will not take the initiative to do many things.Children are the same, even more sensitive than adults, more easily at the mercy of emotions.If a child can regard what he does as a happy thing, then he will take the initiative to complete it.And if it is carried out passively, despite the threat of punishment, it will have little effect.

The father's mood is a barometer of the child's mood. If the father is depressed, the child will be nervous and worried unconsciously.Therefore, fathers should lead by example in daily life, maintain a healthy and optimistic attitude, or use other methods to educate and guide children to have a happy and optimistic heart, so that children can become a cheerful person.Only happy parents will have happy children.

(End of this chapter)