sadomasochism double

Chapter 63

"You must be wondering what the hell I'm doing..." Zhuo Yang stroked his head and seemed to smile again, "Believe me... I don't even know what I'm doing... It's just that after you left, in the I'm not happy when you smile at other men...that's obviously...that's all mine...you are mine too...a long time ago...you said...you belong to me...you will be with me look at me..."

Zhuo Yang stretched out his hand, as if he wanted to touch my face.

I dodged instinctively, his hand stopped in mid-air, as if he didn't catch the illusion in front of him, he slowly put down his hand.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Zhuo Yang held his head in his hands, with distressed expression on his face, "I just don't understand...why did it happen...why did I fall in love with her...even though she has hurt other people...even took the life of my own sister...I I'm still willing...willing to keep her in my arms...don't want anyone to bully her...don't want her to leave...why...I don't know..."

That night, Zhuo Yang talked a lot.

He's really drunk, that's why he talks so much nonsense.

but--

I also heard a little better.

turn out to be--

This world is so bloody, it is the patent of scumbags to not know how to cherish when they get it, and to regret it after losing it.

It turned out that my efforts were not in vain.

turn out to be--

We've been that close before.

but--

so what?
That night, Zhuo Yang babbled here, it seemed to be an apology, it seemed to be a confession.Many, many, I did not listen carefully.

I put on his overcoat, smoked his cigarettes, and waited until dawn before I jumped off the front of the car.

Life is a long river, it will only move forward and not backward.

and so--

Even if Zhuo Yang came back against the current, I would never want to wade into this river again.

This year, I am alone.

In fact, it was almost the same as before, but this time, I didn't feel lonely.

Ding Wei once invited me to celebrate the New Year together. She said that the crowd should be more lively, but I refused.

All these years, I have been trapped in old memories, I have even been trapped in this deserted city, I think——

I should go for a walk.

I am terrified of water, including anything related to water.

nature--

I am also afraid of the sea, it is a place where many, many waters merge together.

But at the end of the year, I went to this small city near the sea.

Although it is winter, it is not cold here.I rented a hotel by the sea for two weeks, and I just laughed when I saw people from afar swimming in the blue water.

I still can't take that step.

but--

I believe everything is getting better.

On the first day, I stepped on the white sand and vomited residue all over the ground.

The next day, I was able to stand on it steadily.

Although I still can't touch the water, I can look at it from a distance... so... Is it also a kind of approach.

I left and only told Ding Wei that I wanted to take a good rest.I turned off the phone, I have no relatives, and few friends. The happiest day of the year is also the day of family reunion. I think... no one will think of me.

I enjoy my vacation alone, and my heart is no longer lonely and blank. Lying on the soft beach, I seem to have more expectations for life.

That night, I dreamed.

I dreamed of a person who I least want to be simple.

safely.

"I'm going to confess to him." She said to me, her haughty face was full of confidence, "I'm the daughter of the An family...he's the son of the Zhuo family...We're rightly related..."

They are indeed a good match, especially since the two families had the idea of ​​marriage from the very beginning.

I caressed my heart and backed away slowly.

An Ran held me back, and stared at me coldly.

"My good sister...don't you congratulate me? You're about to have a brother-in-law..."

Congratulations?I can't say it anymore... I shook off An Ran's hand, "I wish you all happiness..."

I'm a bad woman... I will not tolerate the man I like running away with other women and the Holy Mother will give him a blessing... I didn't bless him, it's already very face-saving.

"I know you like him too."

An Ran was thrown away, but her face was dazzling.

"I also know that my father likes you very much. But..." The proud princess raised her head and trampled on me wantonly.

"I won't let you get everything...whether it's father...or Zhuo Yang..."

call--

I woke up from a nightmare.

There was a dense layer of sweat on my forehead. I went to the bathroom and washed all the sweat off my body.

Looking up, there is a familiar yet unfamiliar face in the mirror.

I touched that face and chuckled lightly.

"Anran...you won...you have always been a winner...but..." You didn't win...you used your life as the price, I just hope that my life is not good, this kind of life...is it really meaningful what?

I dried my face and went to the bar to pour myself a glass of red wine.

"Respect you...seeing you appearing in my dreams so frequently...I guess it's not a good life down here...you're right...I can't get Zhuo Yang...I can't get everything...But It's okay... now I don't want him..."

Raise your glass, I'll kill it in one gulp.

Outside the window, the moonlight is even better.

There are many children on the beach, playing the story of the king and the princess.

Seeing me lazily looking at the sea, a child came over holding his inflatable dolphin.

"Auntie...why don't you go swimming?" Especially seeing me in a swimsuit and surrounded by countless life buoys.

"Smelly brat! Call me sister." I opened my mouth and revealed a gentle smile.

"Auntie...are you afraid of swimming?"

"Bah... my sister is a swimming champion?"

"Then why doesn't Auntie go swimming?"

Why don't you go swimming?How am I going to tell him.

When the hands and feet touched the water, the whole body was almost paralyzed, unable to move, and forgot everything.

How can I get into the water like this.

Seeing that I was speechless, the active child quickly lost interest, and quickly returned to his king and princess team holding his inflatable dolphin.

I was happy and leisurely, looking at the blue sea not far away, I guessed in my heart that I could get a little closer tomorrow.

Maybe... During the half month, I can gradually get closer to the water's edge, until... I finally go down into the water.

The sun is just right, and there are sounds of unknown seabirds chirping around.

I leaned lazily on the beach chair, squinted my eyes, and slowly fell asleep.

What woke me up was the earth-shattering cries of a group of children. I never knew how many children would cry like a tsunami erupting. It was almost humane extermination.

I looked at the sea, the sun has set.

This group of children... aren't they the ones who played the king and princess before?Now everyone is crying like a cat. What's the matter?

"what happened?"

"Ah Jing...Ah Jing is gone..." When I approached, several limp children were already holding my thighs and crying loudly.

"Ah Jing...Ah Jing said that she was going to pick up a dolphin...The dolphin is gone...Ah Jing is also gone..."

From the mouths of those little devils... I vaguely understand one thing...

The child named Ah Jing——

swept away by the waves.

I seem to see that stinky brat.

Wave to me in the rough sea.

"Auntie...help me...help me..."

I said... call me sister...

I threw down the blanket on my body... and rushed straight towards the blue sea.

I'm not afraid... I'm not afraid at all...

I tell myself so.

When there is nothing in the heart, there is nothing to be afraid of.

safely--

Your chips are gone.

You can't take me away.

I found no fear...that was just me kidding myself.

When the sea water surrounded me, I found that I was still the same as before, and all senses were numb.Even, when I saw An Ran, he rushed towards me with a grin on his face.

An Yue...you killed me...

you killed me...

I didn't, I shook my head...

I want to save you...

only……

I'm so scared...

I'm so scared...

I did not do it on purpose……

At that moment, I couldn't move at all.

However, no one believed me.

(End of this chapter)