Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 15 Women, win the war with the world of men (1)
Times have changed and women's status has improved, but the world is still dominated by men. They hold most of the power and control most of the wealth. Women can only survive in their cracks and in their "alms" .In fact, every woman is engaged in an arduous war with the huge world of men, and if we want to win this war and get the spoils we deserve, we must focus on men's psychology and concentrate our firepower on attack.

one.Breaking through the historical thinking of "big men"
For thousands of years, women have been labeled as "weak" and live under the power of men. They cannot have their own thoughts, cannot have their own pursuits, and even have to shape themselves according to the requirements of men, becoming their accessories .Times are different now, women also have to be independent and have their own lives, but before that, women have to erase the brand left by the patriarchal society.

Get out of the shadow of a man's "only me"
Men always think that they were first created by God, and women are just a rib of themselves. Therefore, although women have achieved half the sky after thousands of years of "war", most men still look down on them in their hearts. women's.Even in this age of gender equality, men still don't trust women to handle big things.In their minds, although women are lovely, they are always uneasy.

Men have a long history of distrust of women.In the long history, only women in matrilineal clan society have the supreme authority, so many women are still envious of the lifestyle of Mosuo women in Yunnan.

In most dynasties, men were the only ones who suppressed the development of women.They not only make it difficult for women to move around, but also bind women's feet into three-inch golden lotuses to discriminate against women with big feet; under the control of men.In this way, a woman can neither run away nor be obedient, so it is easy to be controlled.Although this shows the dominance of men, it also means the fragility and contradictions in men's hearts.

In fact, men are not as decisive as they appear to be.In their hearts, they are also full of hesitation, contradiction and uncertainty that are difficult to decide.However, because of social constraints on male roles, they often follow the established "masculine track" in accordance with traditional male culture, and make their own decisions without hesitation in accordance with the established rules of the predecessors. This makes men seem Very decisive, because in their hearts, the real feelings are not as important as the external masculine dignity.

The dignity of a man is more prominent in the feudal society. The father is the head of the family. When eating, the father does not go to the table, and no one can move the chopsticks. The big and small things in the family must be decided by the father.At present, in some remote and backward areas of our country, women are still not allowed to sit on the table.

In addition, when the family and society cultivate men, they also pay great attention to their masculinity.Therefore, a man's self-worth is not a depreciated self-worth, but an inflated self-worth.The process of shaping a boy is to say: "The reason why I discipline you so strictly is because I want to mold you into a stronger person than me." There is also this saying among soldiers, and reasonable discipline is Training, unreasonable discipline is tempering.Why do you need training and tempering? "Because our country respects you, you are a man." Moreover, many discourses about men and masculinity also reinforce this message, such as "a man is a man", "a man does not shed tears easily", and so on.

It can be said that men's emotions towards norms and authority are very contradictory.They fear and long for it, feel both humiliation and honor.It is under the training of this cultural tradition that men develop a sense of authority over everything.

These men who have been surrounded by male culture from birth can easily create a masculine image, but at the same time they have also formed the concept of men's supremacy, forming a long-standing old concept that women are inherently inferior to men. Promising, but men can not be without achievements.This notion not only burdens men, but also women—those who are more stoic and self-respecting.When they want to make achievements, it's like overstepping and stealing the man's territory.For successful women, men will always grit their teeth and say: "What kind of strong woman? She is a female robber! A man's wife!"

Why do men hate women who are their equals?Why don't you want to share some of the burden on your shoulders with women?The reason is that they don't want to give up their domain to women, and they don't want women to do better than them and rob them of the unique glory of men.The inability to tolerate women's self-improvement actually shows the narrow mind of a self-respecting man.

With the rise of women, men's self-importance has begun to weaken, but it has not completely disappeared, and it may expand viciously at a certain point. Such men are often not men with real abilities. If things don't go his way, he doesn't dare to say anything when he sees other men raising their eyebrows, and when he sees women climbing on top of them, he will slander them with a jealous attitude.For this kind of man, it is best for a woman to kick him away, rather than let his vulgar attitude affect her life.

Beware of the "New Machismo" Virus
Traditional male chauvinism has less and less "market" in the society, because no woman can bear the arbitrariness of the husband at home, and the pick and choose of women by the male colleagues in the work unit.But, like viruses, old ones are overcome and new ones breed.The new machismo is a nascent virus, milder but not fundamentally changing.

The following are some claims and declarations of new machismo.

They believe that equality between men and women does not mean that men do what women do, it is "men and women are the same", not "men and women are equal".What is the nature of equality?It is to be respected, to be valued, to have the same rights, and so on.

There are objective gender differences between men and women, resulting in differences in physiology, physical strength, and psychology. This is an objective existence. Therefore, it is most natural for men and women to have a reasonable division of labor in society and take on different responsibilities. It's over.

Because women are responsible for the task of breeding human offspring, they are in a protected position in the social division of labor. "War makes women go away" is not to discriminate against women, but to protect women.It is more reasonable for men to do dirty, tiring, and dangerous jobs.Why don't women appreciate it?In order to fight for equality between men and women, to prove that women have the same rights and capabilities?Of course women have rights and abilities, and they must be paid equal work for equal work, but in order to care for and care for women, we do not advocate this.

"Women first", different people have different views, the so-called feminists think it is discrimination against women, is the "same as men and women" advocated by feminists what women really want?Those who advocate true equality between men and women think that they do so because of respect for women.In fact, equality between men and women can only be truly realized if women are respected from the bottom of their hearts. If women do not cooperate, they must strive to be "equal to men and women". As a result, women will not be like women, and men will not be like men.

"New male chauvinism" is much more progressive than traditional male chauvinism. At least from the perspective of caring for women, they promote their own male chauvinism, which is quite confusing and is a sweet pill to eat.

However, if you look at the claims behind them, you will find that something is wrong.

The "new machismo" men do not want women to become strong, and they do not want women to develop their own space and career.If you want to develop, it's okay, that's when a woman has no man to rely on and is driven to a desperate situation.

They think that if a young girl aspires to be a strong woman, like Wu Zetian and Cixi, they will despise her and look down on her.If it is like Hua Mulan who was forced by the environment to join the army for her father and become a hero among women; or like Zang Jianhe who went to Hong Kong to join her husband, but was abandoned by her husband. In order to survive and raise two young girls, she had to strive for self-improvement , who started out selling dumplings along the street and became an entrepreneur, such a woman is worthy of admiration.If she has a boyfriend who loves her very much, or a husband who can support her, why should a woman be strong and be a strong woman?The vast majority of happy family models are male-dominated outside and female-dominated inside.

In today's society, the reality is this: men and women are busy working outside, and no one takes time to take care of the family. Not only the adults live a hasty life, but the children can't eat well, grow up well, and teach well.Both husband and wife will also suffer from illness due to being too busy at work.For example, there is an excellent female teacher who has cultivated a large number of outstanding talents for the society over the years, but her own child was sent to prison in the end.

In short, the "new male chauvinism" completely blames the unhappy family life and the failure of children's education on the fact that women love their careers too much.In fact, this kind of proposition still hopes that women will be subordinates of men, although the form has changed.However, if a man is unstable, unable to stand on his own feet, or only shares troubles and careers with you when he is young, and once he becomes famous and the woman is old, he takes care of the young and beautiful Xiaomi, then he has lost his youth. What should a woman who has no career and independent value of her own do?

Therefore, "new male chauvinism", for women, looks sweet but bitter. Not all women can start all over again like Zang Jianhe.

Most women don't experience the power of "male chauvinism" before marriage, and they don't know that "macho chauvinism" kills people until after marriage!The most typical is that the husband always likes to say the same thing at home. Even if his own understanding and practice are wrong, he must stick to his own way, and he will not tolerate the slightest opinion of others.In this way, husband and wife will inevitably meet each other.Sometimes the quarrel became fierce, and it was not uncommon to drop two basins and hit several bowls.An experienced woman said: "When you encounter 'male chauvinism', you must not confront him head-on, and rebounding the pipa can have unexpected effects..."

Some men's machismo is not too serious, and their personalities are not bad, so there is still medicine to save them, and there is still room for redemption.As for another type of big man who seems to be well-mannered but is actually extremely domineering inside, there is no cure for it. Women should choose to leave earlier.

blue face confidant can not be less

Blue-faced bosom friend is a recently emerging term. Compared with a man's confidante, it takes women as the main body and takes men as the object. The relationship between men and women is between friends and lovers. There is no physical relationship but it is better than physical relationship. It can also be called "confidant love".

In the past, it seemed natural for a man to have a few confidante, but conversely, if a woman had a so-called "confidante with blue face", she was no different from a slut, and she should go to the eighteenth level of hell, and the appearance of a confidante with blue face , which just shows the tendency towards equalization of the status of men and women.

Lin Fan is a white-collar worker in a foreign company. She has a husband who loves her, and she has a blue-faced confidant since college.Many people don't understand why Lin Fan has a husband and still wants to keep in touch with his blue-faced confidant.Regarding this, Lin Fan said: "My husband can only comfort me emotionally, but my blue-faced confidant can make me want to say something. I don't like to talk to my husband about some troubles at work. Only my blue-faced confidant He can patiently listen to me about my troubles in life and career, and give me feasible suggestions.”

Many times a woman is always a weak person who needs his shoulders with her husband.They don't like to discuss life and career with their wives, and they don't like their wives to become strong women.However, no woman's work and career are smooth sailing. Whenever this happens, they also want to find a solution.Compared with her husband, blue-faced confidant plays such a role: he can analyze problems for you from your perspective.He will ask you how you feel and make you feel that you are independent, not a bird that depends on others to survive.

Someone once said: Tell your happiness, and your happiness will be doubled; tell your sorrow, and your sorrow will be reduced by half.After women enter the society, they have to bear the double pressure from family and career, and they have to play multiple roles in the multi-dimensional social life. At this time, the heart is very fragile, so some strong spiritual support is very much needed.At this time, Blue Yan Confidant will encourage you with the strength of a man, so that you who are confused can continue to move forward with confidence.There is no love between you and this kind of blue-faced confidant, but you have more heart and soul than ordinary friends, and you will not feel tired when you are with him, because he understands that whether you are a confidant does not depend on the amount of words, but on understanding how much.

Perhaps, you always lament that it is becoming more and more difficult to find a good man in this world, and it is even more difficult to find a reliable blue-faced confidant.Here are ten types of excellent men recommended for you, who are the best candidates for blue-faced confidantes:
1. A man of extraordinary intellect

This kind of man will play a leading role in your career and life, help you find a better perspective to see problems, and help you improve yourself.

2. Healthy and happy man

No one hates a happy person, especially a man who is entangled in mundane affairs and can maintain a healthy and happy heart. His life must be positive, which will bring you happiness and help you release stress.

3. Like-minded men

Having a common language is undoubtedly the easiest condition to become a confidant.

4. Emotionally pure man

Getting along with a simple man will make you let go of your guard and make it easier to invest.

5. Outsiders who are willing to listen
Being in a different social circle, you will naturally look at the issue as a bystander, without personal color, and many times, all you need is a good listener.

6. A man who is indifferent to fame and fortune

Look at life and world affairs with a calm attitude. Being low-key does not mean that you are not outstanding; on the contrary, it will bring you some more calm attitude and inspiration.

7. Outspoken man

An outspoken man is definitely the best candidate for a confidant, and a pertinent opinion will keep you awake amidst a lot of flattering voices.

8. A generous man

A broad mind is more useful than broad shoulders. When you are struggling, the warmth of this kind of tolerance is irreplaceable.

9. Delicate man

Neutral emotions and a sensitive heart make it easier for him to understand you.

10. A man of good character
Associating with such a man, even if it is very intimate, will not bring gossip and disturb your originally peaceful life.

two.Know yourself and the enemy, do not let "men" in the mall

Women's independence is basically economic independence.If we want to win an equal status with men, we must get out of the circle of thinking of "men dominate outside and women dominate inside" and compete with them in the mall.However, from the ancient Tao Zhugong to the present, men have been fighting in the mall for thousands of years, and we are only now getting a foot in the door. Where are their opponents?Don't be afraid, there are advantages and disadvantages. Just because men have been in business for a long time, their business psychology is more fully exposed. We can use their own weaknesses to defeat them.In this chapter, we will analyze the commercial psychological characteristics of men in different regions of our country.

Cantonese man who likes to ask God for divination

Most Cantonese men are very superstitious, especially businessmen, and they like to ask God for divination.Anyone who has been to Guangdong knows that there are many people who set up fortune-telling stalls on the streets of Guangdong, and now there are no blind people and Taoist priests among these people, and they are replaced by all kinds of men, women, old and young, and their fortune-telling skills are also up to date. Come on, use a computer.

Generally speaking, before major business negotiations, Guangdong businessmen always ask for a question: Can the business be negotiated?What will happen to the opponent?As for seeking a job and making money in daily life, I often ask the "man of God" for advice.

(End of this chapter)