Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 17 Women, win the war with the world of men (3)
3. Negotiation Taboo
When negotiating with Taiwanese businessmen, it is best to pay attention to the following issues:
(1) Don't talk about sensitive political issues on both sides of the strait, and don't comment on the current political, economic, and cultural status quo in Taiwan.

(2) Taiwanese do not want others to intervene in their private affairs, so it is best not to inquire about their salary, age and home address.

(3) Don't wink at Taiwanese people, because they think it is a very impolite behavior.

(4) Don't be sloppy when speaking, so as to leave the impression of hypocrisy and cunning on the other party, because Taiwanese businessmen like to go straight and make a final decision.

4. Digital Taboo
The number "4" is tabooed by Taiwanese. No matter what they do, they always try to avoid the number "4", or express it in words such as "double double".

The favorite number of Taiwanese is "6", which is known as "Six Liu Shun".Because "6" has the same pronunciation as "Lu", it is also an auspicious expression of wealth and blessing.Therefore, they are all willing to use "6", the auspicious number.

5. Banquets
The ancestral home of the vast majority of Taiwanese is Fujian and Guangdong, and their eating habits are basically similar to those of Fujianese and Cantonese.They don't like to eat oily, spicy and salty food, but like light and slightly sweet food.I prefer dishes prepared by cooking methods such as frying, dry frying, stir-frying, and roasting, and I like to drink cocktails, wine, and beer.Among the teas, oolong tea is preferred.

three.Find out the heart of a man and act as "Rice" on the negotiating table

In ancient times, not to mention the negotiating table, women were not even allowed to sit at the dinner table, but the times have changed. With the rise of women, women frequently appear in business negotiations or political negotiations.

Maybe you are still a novice negotiator, maybe you feel dizzy when you see the men in suits and leather shoes on the opposite side of the negotiating table, it doesn’t matter, as long as you grasp the men’s negotiating psychology, you can be sure of success, achieve your negotiating goals, and lead them nose go.

Understand the negotiation psychology of different men

In business negotiations, it is very important to understand the opponent's psychology, because it is related to the success or failure of the negotiation.However, different men have different psychological characteristics, and we must clearly understand their psychological characteristics in order to contribute to the success of negotiations.

According to different negotiation psychology, we divide men into 12 types.When negotiating with these 12 types of opponents, you must clearly understand their psychological characteristics, and take different countermeasures according to different psychological characteristics.

1.stubborn stubborn man

The psychological performance of this kind of opponents is: they must be stubborn to the end no matter what, and stick to the form. Once they say that, they don't want to take a step back no matter what.For such men, the more you try to persuade them, the more stubbornly they will resist. Not only can they not reach an agreement, but it will cause unhappiness.

Therefore, if you encounter such men in negotiations, don't expect to persuade them, it is best to be a loyal listener first.In this way, they will think that you have accepted their ideas, and next time they will have the mentality of "should listen to each other more".No matter how stubborn a man is, he will also have the desire to accept other people's opinions, so you must be patient and wait until the other party listens to you.

2.egocentric man
The psychological performance of this type of opponent is: your hobbies are different from mine, and I am much superior to you.The formation of this kind of psychology probably has a lot to do with his personality and experience, but it is also more or less related to his impression of the negotiating partner. If he doesn't like you, he will have a strong feeling of "difference".

When you meet this kind of man in the negotiation, you should not go deep into his inner world easily, but you should make friends with him in a way of subtly maintaining his self-esteem—the more you talk, the more intimate.

3.indecisive man
The psychological performance of this kind of opponent is: I hope that everything can be decided by myself, and I will not let the other party see through me.No matter what they do, they like to make their own decisions, and they don't want to rely on the power of others. They always want to make decisions according to their own will and feelings.They have very good minds, and once they are interested in something, they will think about it a lot.The result is even more stagnation.

For this type of man, you must approach him in an amiable way, and you must never resort to coercion.It is necessary to observe his reaction (especially the non-verbal reaction), grasp the atmosphere at that time, and keep a certain distance (psychologically and physically) from him.

4. A man whose words do not act

The psychological performance of such opponents is: they don't want to make enemies, and their words and deeds are inconsistent.They are generally very popular because they have a good mood and can easily make negotiations successful.And they have a good temper, and they won't refuse to negotiate if they don't buy it, so you can introduce your products eagerly from the beginning.

5. A man with a sudden change

The psychological performance of this type of opponent is: capricious.A man's waywardness is related to his natural personality and growth.In other words, the root of the problem lies in the education that people receive in childhood, which prevents him from acting like an adult and showing childish behavior.

For this kind of opponent, first understand his "pace of life", and then gain an insight into the person's mood today. If he is in a good mood, he will press every step of the way; Words and kung fu can accomplish nothing.

6. Emotionally Vulnerable Men

The psychological performance of this kind of opponent is: strong self-esteem, unshakable belief in things, and thinking that everything is for their own good.They will work desperately to maintain their self-esteem, and once their self-esteem is hurt, even if it is a small thing, they will brood on it.

For this kind of man, you should pay attention to what he says, avoid using language that makes him misunderstand, and don't make him feel neglected.

7.gibberish man
The psychological performance of this kind of opponent is: you can't feel at ease without chattering, and you feel happy to refute the opponent.Most of these men are people with a strong desire to show off, and they generally have a weak point in their hearts.So he tried desperately to make up for this weakness with words.This kind of psychology will arouse their urge to talk endlessly.

This kind of opponent doesn't have much scheming, as long as he spits out all he wants to say, he will be in a cheerful mood.Therefore, you must not become timid just because the other party is talking endlessly.Let him spit out the dissatisfaction in his heart, and then follow his topic and slowly guide him into your predetermined position.In this way, the purpose of negotiation will be successfully achieved.

8. A man who pretends to understand

The psychological performance of this kind of opponent is: Although he doesn't know whether he really knows everything, he has to pretend to be omniscient.They believe that if they admit that they "don't know", they will be seen as weak by the other party, and they may be deceived.

For this kind of man, you must never argue with him with reason, because even if you beat him in the debate, you cannot persuade him in the negotiation.It's best to listen to his reasoning quietly, let him speak as much as possible, and let him vent as much as he can, so that he will be satisfied.In short, you have to adopt a receptive dialogue and echoing manner, and only give concise answers to his questions.

9.taciturn man

The psychological performance of such opponents is: they have a strong sense of "not easy to deal with", and want to express their thoughts with attitude.Such men are generally clumsy with words, for fear of being misunderstood or underestimated by others.This kind of thinking has formed his dominant concept, which has increased his anxiety and fear of negotiations, especially the anxiety and anger caused by being unable to speak out what is in his heart, making him more aware of his clumsiness in words.

For this type of man, it is difficult to detect his desires from the words he says.At this time, you have to pay careful attention to any of his little movements, and you have to figure out what requirements are hidden behind his movements.

10. First-timer

The psychological performance of this kind of opponent is: no self-confidence, want to escape, hope to be taken care of.Among the opponents with stage fright, it is mostly because of lack of self-confidence.They are completely dominated by feelings of inferiority, so they lose self-confidence, become fearful, and stay away from things.If the negotiating parties are particularly not speculative, it is another matter.

11. Impulsive man

The psychological performance of this kind of opponent is: strong curiosity, easy to be excited, hot and cold quickly.They love new products and want to snap up them as long as they are new.Especially the latest products, because it is the first time they see them, their desire to own the products is aroused.

To deal with this kind of man, you must first grasp his heart and understand what he is interested in.For example, if they are interested in the "honesty" of the negotiator, you have to show attractiveness in honesty and conquer him psychologically.

12. The Man Who Made Up Lies

The psychological performance of this type of opponent is: they don't want others to see through their original intentions and protect themselves.They don't want to confide the truth to a third party, because they will be seen through by the other party.But if you feel cheated, it will upset him.

Most of these men are full of emotions, so you can't stimulate their hearts and disturb their psychological balance. You should respect their position and negotiate with them calmly.

Three ways to gain insight into your opponent's psychology

In business communication and negotiation, it is very important to know what kind of psychology your opponent sits at the negotiating table.If you can gain insight into the psychology of your negotiating opponents, and then adopt targeted negotiation strategies, you will firmly grasp the initiative in the negotiation.Especially for "complex" men, if you are not good at observing their psychology, you will be easily misled by their lies.

As the saying goes: "People's hearts are like faces, they are all different." Men's mental states are very different, and it is difficult to see through them.There are three ways to gain insight into the opponent's psychology:
1.Sensitive
Although a man's psychological state is secret, it will always be expressed in a certain form. Their every move, every word and deed reflects their psychology from the side.

In terms of handshake, generally speaking, a loose handshake means perfunctory to each other in terms of etiquette; a tight handshake expresses sincerity and happiness;People who take handshaking as a routine are generally insincere, sloppy, and untrustworthy; people who shake hands with sweaty palms are impulsive, often in a state of tension and anxiety; people who frequently shake hands with strangers in public have a strong desire for self-expression .

In addition, in terms of walking or sitting posture, head held high, firm footsteps, and deep eyes, it shows that this person is resolute and confident, and dares to take responsibility.Such people are not easy to make concessions in negotiations, but when the goals of both parties are close, they can often make decisive decisions and reach an agreement.On the contrary, if the head is drooping, the mind is in a trance, the eyes are looking around, the eyes are suspicious, and at a loss, it shows that the person lacks confidence, weak will and lacks pioneering spirit.This kind of person is always suspicious and indecisive in negotiations, and likes to say "no" but can't say "yes".

In addition, some clues of men's negotiating psychology can also be learned from clothing and facial expressions.

2. Throwing stones to ask for directions
The psychological performance observed only from the outside is often superficial and may be unreliable, especially for those veterans who hide deep, it is difficult for you to gain insight into his inner world from the external performance.At this time, you might as well throw stones and ask for directions, luring the opponent to reveal his psychology, character or intention.

You can ask questions that you already know well and ask the other party to answer them. This is called "asking knowingly", and see how your opponent answers these questions.Or, ask the opponent to speak first, which is called "leading the snake out of the hole". You can understand his psychology and personality from his speech.

3.static braking

At the beginning of the negotiation, you'd better not show your face, keep your face, and look at the other party's posture first.Or deliberately reject some of the other party's suggestions, or be lukewarm about their suggestions, and see how the other party reacts.Through the reaction made by the other party, you can understand the psychology of the opponent more clearly.

Of course, there are more than these methods to gain insight into the opponent's psychology, and you are not limited to them. This requires you to accumulate experience in practice and explore other methods.

Use body language to identify men's negotiation psychology

In the previous section, body language has actually been involved, and the "viewing color" in observing words and colors is the inspection of body posture.This section will extend the point of "viewing color", conduct a comprehensive study on the various postures of men in the negotiation process, and then explore the hidden psychological state behind them.

1. Mouth movements of men in negotiations

The mouth is one of the most important organs of human beings. It is a tool for speaking, and it is also an organ for ingesting food and breathing. Its various functions such as eating, biting, sucking, and licking all determine its expressiveness, and these often reflect Mental state of the person.

Generally speaking, men may have the following mouth movements during the negotiation process:
(1) Tightly pursing one's mouth often expresses determination.

(2) Puckering is a sign of dissatisfaction and preparation to attack the other party.

(3) Lip biting is seen as a self-punishing action when a failure is encountered, and can sometimes be interpreted as self-mockery or guilt.

(4) Pay attention to the corners of the mouth being pulled back or up slightly when listening to the other party's conversation.

(5) When dissatisfied and stubborn, the corners of the mouth tend to be down.

2. Men's hand movements during negotiations

We can judge and analyze the man's mental activity or mental state by observing the movements of the opponent's upper limbs or our own hand-to-hand contact with the opponent, and we can also use this to convey our meaning to the opponent.

(1) Make a fist to express the emotion of challenging the other party or being nervous.Making a fist while making a ringing of the knuckles or clapping the palms is a silent threat or attack signal to the other party.

(2) Tapping the table with fingers or pencils, or scribbling on paper, which means disinterest, disagreement or impatience in the other party's topic.The purpose of doing so is to pass the time, and the other is to hint and remind the other party.

(3) Finger sucking or nail biting.This kind of action is a continuation of the baby's behavior, and it is a manifestation of immaturity for adults to make such actions, which is the so-called "baby smell".

(4) Put the fingers of both hands together and put them in the shape of a steeple in front of the chest, which shows full confidence. This kind of action is more common in Westerners, especially when meeting hosts, leaders, and teachers are hosting meetings or classes. Expresses assertiveness or arrogance to intimidate students or attendees.

(5) Hands crossed on the chest and abdomen are a reflection of humility, reservedness or a little uneasiness.

(6) Arms crossed in front of the chest, expressing a defensive or conservative attitude, arms crossed in front of the chest and fisted, expressing hostility.

3. Man's sitting posture in negotiation

We can also identify a man's psychological state during the negotiation process by observing the man's sitting posture, the specific method is as follows:

(1) Those who sit upright and do not squint: they are people who strive for perfection, are meticulous and practical.Such people only do those things that are sure and never take risks, but they often lack innovation and flexibility.

(2) People who sit sideways on chairs: they feel comfortable in their hearts and feel that there is no need to make a better impression on others.They tend to be emotional and informal.

(3) People who curl up their bodies as much as possible and sit with their hands between their thighs: They often have a heavy sense of inferiority complex, humble and lack self-confidence, and most of them are submissive.

(4) People who sit with hands and feet open: they may have the preference of being in charge of everything, have the nature of a commander or a dominant personality, or they may be extroverted, ignorant, and informal.

(5) Man sitting with crossed ankles: When men display this gesture, they usually also place their clenched fists on their knees, or hold tightly to the armrests of a chair with both hands.A large number of studies have shown that this is a human posture to control the outflow of negative thoughts, control emotions, control tension and fear, and express vigilance or prevention.

(6) The person who turns the chair around and sits astride: This is a defensive behavior that people make when they are faced with verbal threats, are bored by other people's speech, or want to overwhelm the other person's advantage in the conversation.

(7) A person who sits down abruptly in front of others: on the surface, it is a casual, impolite or informal look, but it actually shows that the person has hidden anxiety in his heart, so he unconsciously uses this action to cover up his Suppression of psychology.

(End of this chapter)