daddy long legs

Chapter 40

Dearest Uncle:
Can you forgive me for the letter I wrote yesterday?As soon as the letter was sent, I regretted it.I wanted to get it back, but the nasty postman refused to return it to me.

It's late at night now, but I can't fall asleep. Thinking about my behavior is really too much, what else can I say besides scolding myself for being ungrateful in my heart!I closed the door to the study so as not to wake Julia and Sally.Then I tear a page out of my history notebook and write you a letter while sitting on my bed.

I just wanted to tell you I'm so sorry for being so rude to you for sending me a check.I know you're a good old man, and that's why you care about little things like hats.I should have returned the check gratefully.

In any case, I should return the check to you.My attitude may be very different from other girls.They can take other people's stuff for granted because they have dads and brothers and aunts and uncles, whereas I don't have any of those relationships.In my fantasy you belong to me, but this is only a fantasy, and of course you do not belong to me.I was alone - alone against the whole world - and thinking about it made me cringe a little.I put that all behind me and keep pretending.But uncle, can't you see?I can't accept more money than I can, because one day I will give it back to you.Even if I later become a great writer as I wish, I will not be able to repay such a huge debt anytime soon.

As much as I love those pretty hats and trinkets, I wouldn't be mortgaging my future.

You will forgive me for my recklessness, won't you?I have a bad habit of writing impulsively when I think of something, and sending it without thinking it through.However, I was really careless occasionally, not ungrateful, I really didn't mean to.I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me life, freedom and independence.I can hardly believe it when my childhood was filled with oppressive rebellion and now I feel happy all the time.I felt like an invented heroine in a story.

It is now a quarter past two in the morning.I'm going to sneak out quietly to post the letter.That way you'll get this letter soon after the last one, and won't have too long thinking I'm a bad boy.

Good night, uncle.

love you forever judy

4/11

(End of this chapter)