daddy long legs

Chapter 82

Dear Daddy Long Legs:
Received a note written in your own hand - trembling badly.Are you sick?I'm very sorry.If I had known, I would not have bothered you with these things.Yes, I'm going to tell you about my troubles, but it's kind of hard to tell because it's very personal.Please don't keep it after you read it, burn it immediately!
Before I start, please check this $1000 check.Ridiculous, isn't it?I send you a check?Do you know where I got it from?

I sold my novel, uncle.It was published in 7 parts and then published as a book!Maybe you thought I'd be ecstatic, but I wasn't, and I wasn't surprised at all.Of course, I am very happy to finally be able to repay you!Although I owe you more than 2000 yuan, I have to pay it back slowly.Now please accept it, it makes me happy to be able to give you back.I owe you more than money can pay, and the rest I will repay with a lifetime of gratitude and love.

Uncle, there is another matter now, please give me the most sensible advice, don't think about whether I can accept it.

You know, I've always had a special feeling for you, you represent my whole family.You wouldn't mind if I said now that the feelings for another man were stronger and more special, wouldn't you?You can easily guess this person.For a long time my letters were all about Master Jervie.

I hope I can give you a sense of who he is and how happy we are together.We see the same thing about everything - perhaps, I'm pandering to him a bit and changing my mind!He's almost always right, though.It's no surprise, he's 14 years older than me.Still, he was a big boy in other ways, needing to be taken care of, such as not knowing where to wear overshoes on rainy days.We are often overwhelmed by funny things, and there are many such cases.

He was—oh, alas!He is who he is and I miss him, miss him, miss him, miss him so much.I hate that the moonlight is so beautiful, but he can't enjoy it with me.If you've ever loved someone, you can understand how I feel.If you have loved, then I don't need to explain; if you haven't, then I can't explain.

All in all, here's how I feel.However, I turned him down.

I didn't tell him the real reason, just silently sad.I don't know what to say.He went away thinking I wanted to marry Jimmy Macbeth.I never thought about it, never thought about marrying Jimmy, he hasn't grown up yet!But Master Jervie and I have had a serious misunderstanding, and we are both hurting each other's feelings.I didn't drive him away because I didn't love him, on the contrary, I loved him too much to worry about his regrets—and I couldn't stand it!It is too inappropriate for a person with no background like me to marry him.I never told him about the John Golier Orphanage, and I didn't want to tell him that I didn't know who I really was.You know, I'm humbled.And his family is so noble - but I have my own pride too!

Also, I consider myself somewhat obligated to you.You want to train me to be a writer, I must work hard.It would be unreasonable for me not to make use of your education after I have received it.On the other hand, I have begun to pay back the money, and I have already paid back part of it-not to mention, even if I get married, I can also become a writer in the future, and there is no contradiction between the two.

Should I talk to him and tell him it wasn't Jimmy that was the problem, it was the John Golier Orphanage, but wouldn't that be a great disservice to me?Also, it takes a lot of courage to do so, and I'd rather spend the rest of my life alone.

Two months have passed since this incident, and there has been no news since he left.Until I received Julia's letter, I felt the pain again.She happened to mention Master Jervie, who had been bedridden with pneumonia after an unfortunate night of hunting in Canada during a snowstorm.And I know nothing about it.Because he hasn't sent a word since he left, I have been very sad.I think he must be in pain, at least I am!

What should I do?

Judy
rock willow
10/3

(End of this chapter)