queen i love you

Chapter 256 You Are Still My Proud (2)
Bo Nanfeng held her hand tightly, wanting to say: "Mom, don't die, don't leave me alone." But the more urgent he became, the more powerless he became. He opened his mouth wide and let the tears flow unscrupulously. In his lifetime, he couldn't even say "Mom...".She was staring at him until she died, her eyes were still wide open, the sockets were bloodshot, she stared at him silently, there were unfinished tears flowing down the corners of her eyes.She doesn't want to leave, what about her child?But there is no way, there are too many difficult things in this world, and it can only be regarded as an unfulfilled long-cherished wish for the rest of my life.

On that day many years ago, Bao Nanfeng sat stiffly on the ground, staring at his mother, feeling so miserable and hard.I don't want her to be tired anymore, I know how hard she is.The cold palm covered it, and she no longer let her see him crying and distraught.I can only say in my heart: "Mom, rest in peace, go to dad, I can do it alone."

He wanted to pull out a reassuring smile, but he couldn't.

The afterglow of that day was gone, and the setting sun in the sky was like blood. It hit him like a bloody coat.No one knew that that day was his birthday, a full 19th birthday. His mother brought him into this world 19 years ago, but on this day 19 years later, his mother died.That's why he said that every mother in this world is very hard, but it is not easy.

But he couldn't even say a word of consolation and gratitude. He was like a dumb man, watching his mother go to Huangquan Road, and the hand holding him was green and white. It was all her strength, but she still wanted to grab it. Can't catch it.

run away, run away...

Those two words were like echoes, and they were always the main theme in his sleep many years ago, causing the whole world to cry with resentment.He opened his mouth wide like a fish, trying to talk and breathe, but he couldn't.So every time I woke up from my sleep, I always shouted: "Mom..." and sat up in a panic.Then I was sweating profusely, my eyes were out of focus, and my heart hurt so badly that I felt like I was about to suffocate.Weeping desperately in the dark, I'm sorry for her, can't she go to reincarnation with peace of mind after all these years?
Run away, run away...but to where?

Bo Nanfeng's voice was very soft, choked to the point of hoarseness, his chin was buried in her shoulder socket, and he continued talking mechanically while looking somewhere unknown.Talk about his tragic past, talk about his pain, say that he walked over the edge of the knife, if he didn't want other people's lives, others would take his life.

"I listened to my mother and started fleeing at the age of 19. However, some people are determined to kill you, how can you escape? Too many times I thought I was dead, so I accepted my fate and felt at ease. It was too painful, and it was such a misfortune to be alive. It would be better to die. Tell me, isn’t this what people often say is the end of everything?”

He asked her with a smile, but Jiang Nan couldn't answer.There was blood in his throat, and he was afraid that he would spit it out if he opened his mouth. 19 years old... what is she doing?Still on campus, there is youth to squander, laughing loudly every day heartlessly, looking at the world with colorful eyes, the world is peaceful and prosperous, the country is peaceful and the people are peaceful, laughter fills the eardrums, it is so peaceful.And him?Fear of being alive, but not being able to die, completely against my will, rolling in the bloody wind.I don't know the pain, I don't know the pain, if I can, it is enough to save my life.

He didn't grow into his current transparent appearance all at once, he can tell the world at a glance, and he can calmly settle down in his heart wherever he goes.If a person wants to grow up overnight, decades of heartache and suffering will have to be paid off in one day.

Bo Nanfeng is like this, his world sinks into the ground in an instant, counting the vicissitudes of life, if he wants to live, even if his spine is broken, he has to get up properly.

"During that time, I really walked across the river of blood, stepping on the corpses of many people, crawling out of the pile of dead people bloody, and fleeing if I can't escape. I can't just let my parents die in vain. He glanced at Jiangnan, stopped crying, and his pupils were misty, and then said: "At that time, what I was most afraid of was hearing noises while falling asleep, waking up suddenly, not thinking about anything, subconsciously grabbed the coat and put it on." I want to run. Sometimes I jump out of bed with bare feet, only to realize that there are no people there, just passers-by, just passers-by. I’m just terrified, too many sleepy to exhausted, powerless, I can’t even close my eyelids On the road, someone shouted to kill me. I really lost the strength to struggle, and I felt that death is actually much easier than life. The longest time, I dare not close my eyelids for more than ten days, and the burnout bursts from the bones and the bottom of my heart. The day is like a frightened bird, the grass and trees are like soldiers, and even a normal person almost forgets how to live."

Such a problem could not be corrected for a long time afterwards. I still couldn't hear the sound at midnight, and would jump up when I heard it.For this reason, he deliberately went to see a psychiatrist, and it took a full year and a half to get better. Finally, he was no longer afraid of noise at night and could live like a person.

Holding her in his arms, the voice is very soft, it sounds like the pain is still there, but it seems like a long time ago, but in fact he doesn't want to think about it.

"The language barrier also gradually got better at that time. I was forced to be helpless. Some pains had to be yelled out to feel better. Even if I didn't talk about the pain, I always had to ask for help. If I didn't speak, if I continued like this Simple things can’t be expressed, so I can only die. That was the time when I was most afraid, the panic originating from the depths of my soul, could kill people more than what came out of my heart. Like a newborn baby, obviously I haven't learned anything, I just feel that everything is coming too fast and too cruel. How can I live when I am overwhelmed like a catastrophe? When I met Su Rui, I was at the time of falling..."

He remembered that day that fate was so cruel that he almost died.The black shirt was soaked, sticking sticky to his body, he knew what it was, a puff of bloody smell, his empty lungs churned, and he couldn't tell where it hurt.I didn't even have the strength to run and run away, so I just thought, give up, I can't escape every time, and I can't always escape from death.Sometimes he thought, if he hadn't met Su Rui at that time, he would have died.That's why in the time since then, he wanted to tolerate Su Rui's willfulness and thank her for saving her life.

That day, he was driven to the brink of despair, and it was Su Rui who picked him up in a different place, City B.It is estimated that a young lady like Su Rui who grew up in the underworld can see that he is a troublemaker at a glance, and I don't know why she still wants to save him.And after only looking at him, he decided to save him without hesitation, and led him to avoid the pursuit of the vicious stranger.

Before the rescuers contacted by Su Rui arrived, their lives were almost hanging by a thread.He had long since lost the ability to resist, and he couldn't dodge in time, and he was seriously injured, with several holes in his body. According to Su Rui later, the blood was like a trickle of water, and his whole face was a little bit pale. At that moment she was really sure that he was going to die.

Only Bo Nanfeng gritted his teeth and was still holding on. There were so many unwillingness to reconcile, his parents died with injustice and hatred, what right did he have to die as soon as he wanted.The person who has been sharpened for a long time is neither human nor ghost. For more than half a year, he lived in such a miserable and dangerous way, his hands were bloodied, and even if he was not a demon, he was already haunted by demonic nature.

(End of this chapter)