i loved you so much

Chapter 19 Scars are the Legacy of Love (2)
After changing her clothes, Aunt Cen prepared food and hot drinks for her, and under Aunt Cen's repeated urging, she began to eat bit by bit.

Seeing that her eyes were red, Aunt Cen knew that she was sad, so she persuaded her softly: "Xiao An is angry, don't confront him head-on, if you have something to say, find the right time to say it."

An Xiaoduo listened silently. After eating, she took out her mobile phone and called him. It took a long time for him to answer it.

"When are you coming back?" she said.

"Why are you looking for me today?"

She said calmly: "Is the condition you offered before still valid now?"

Li Xiaoan smiled lightly: "What? Have you figured it out?"

"Yes." An Xiaoduo opened her lips and said the word lightly.

"It's a pity it's too late." He said and cut the cord.

An Xiaoduo clenched her phone tightly and closed her eyes in pain.

Li Xiaoan came back very late, and An Xiaoduo was placed in the guest room by Aunt Cen to wait. As soon as she heard the noise, she opened the door and went out. Aunt Cen followed Li Xiaoan and scolded him. He seemed to have drunk a lot, and his gait was a little unsteady.

"Why are you still here?" Li Xiaoan squinted his eyes unhappily when he saw her.

"I'm waiting for you." She walked over to help him, but just as her hand touched his sleeve, he threw her away.

"Go away!" He said and walked into the room.

An Xiaoduo lowered her eyelashes: "Aunt Cen, go to sleep, I'll take care of him."

"This..." Aunt Cen looked at her worriedly.

"It's okay, I can do it."

She turned around and followed in. There was only an orange light on the wall in the room, and the light was a bit dim.She stepped on the wooden floor and walked in. There was the sound of rushing water in the bathroom. She stood at the door of the bathroom and waited until the sound of water stopped for a long time but he did not come out, and he did not respond when she knocked on the door. She hesitated for a moment and pressed the handle. go in.

There was steam in the bathroom, the hot water from the faucet was on, and he was lying on the edge of the bathtub in a bathrobe.

An Xiaoduo walked over to help him, but just as her hands touched him, she saw him look up, his face was bloodless under the light, his blurred pupils burst out a trace of sobriety after seeing that it was her. Ruthless: "Who allowed you to come in?"

An Xiaoduo withdrew her hand: "Your body hasn't fully recovered yet, so you shouldn't be drinking so much."

He sneered and stood up unsteadily: "It's none of your business, get out."

An Xiaoduo stood still.

"Are you deaf? I tell you to go!"

He pushed her with his hands, and An Xiaoduo took a step back. Unexpectedly, he slipped and hit the back of his head heavily on the bathtub, and he groaned.

An Xiaoduo hurried over to check, but as soon as she got close, she was yanked by him, she lost control of her body and fell into his arms.

Li Xiaoan hugged her waist and imprisoned her in front of his chest.

"Let me go!" An Xiaoduo struggled.

"I told you to get out just now, why are you putting on airs again?" His breath sprayed on her face, with a strong smell of alcohol.

An Xiaoduo didn't want to argue with an alcoholic, so she begged him in a soft tone: "Let go, okay? You're drunk, I'll make you hangover soup."

"I'm not drunk!" He glared at her fiercely.

His hands were strong, and he lost his sense of control when he was half drunk and half awake, and almost broke her waist bone inch by inch.Anxious and angry, she opened her mouth and bit his lips.

"Hiss—" he finally let her go after suffering the pain.

An Xiaoduo took the opportunity to run out, but she was caught up by the people behind and crushed to the ground before she ran far. Li Xiaoan turned her over and kissed her frantically.

Fiery and frantic kisses landed on her face and neck, she couldn't avoid it left and right, and violently resisted.

"No, Li Xiaoan, stop, stop!"

He ignored it and became even more unscrupulous.

An Xiaoduo burst into tears, and kept begging him: "Don't do this, let me go..."

He turned a deaf ear to it, and was still doing things like attacking cities and looting land.An Xiaoduo's crying gradually weakened, and his hand stroked her wet cheek, and she couldn't help but startled.

Taking advantage of his momentary loss of consciousness, An Xiaoduo raised her hand and slapped him, not hard, but enough to wake him up.He stared at her for a while, then laughed sarcastically: "If you're like this, you still dare to take Old Tang's idea?"

"What are you going to do to let my father be released on medical parole?" Tears were still on her face.

He got up from her body and looked down at her: "Sometimes I really hate myself, I have been soft-hearted to you time and time again, but you have used this time and time again to save An Zhengran."

"This is the last time, I will listen to you in everything from now on."

A cruel smile appeared on the corner of his mouth: "Okay, I'll believe you again."

An Xiaoduo received the notification from the prison a week later. After learning that An Zhengran had been transferred to the hospital for treatment, she finally breathed a sigh of relief.Standing up from the chair, she suddenly became dizzy, and the cold has dragged on for more than half a month and has not recovered.After He Bixi finished filming, her family flew abroad for vacation, and she was also given a long vacation. She had nothing to do, and stayed in the hut every day, doing nothing but eating three meals a day. Hard tone.Now that I let go of my thoughts, my whole body relaxes as if I am about to collapse.

She slowed down on the chair and got up to organize her suitcase. She has a lot of skirts, long skirts, short skirts and dresses. They were all bought two years ago or even earlier, and she basically rarely wears them now. Pretty dress too.

She couldn't help but miss those times.

At that time, she had just graduated from college, and the regret of dropping out was quickly diluted by her passionate love, and she was loved and pampered by Li Xiaoan like a jewel.When he was nice to her, he was really nice, and he wanted to spoil her to the heavens.

Looking back now, everything at that time was happy and sweet. When two people were tired of being together, flowers bloomed every minute and every second. Even if there were conflicts, disagreements and quarrels, they were insignificant.It's just that if she knew that their ending would be like this, she wouldn't have quarreled with him in the first place.

Li Xiaoan called An Xiaoduo a few times that day, but she didn't answer her. Suddenly, he felt uneasy, and rushed all the way to the door of her rented house, and opened the door with his own key.The light in the room was very dark, and the small living room was quiet. He walked in and turned on the light, only to notice the person lying on the sofa.

I saw her eyes closed tightly, curled up on the sofa, her upper and lower eyelashes glued together, her cheeks were flushed abnormally, her breathing was short and heavy, and her brows were unconsciously frowned.He reached out and stroked her forehead, the heat on the skin exceeded his imagination.He took off his suit to cover her, leaned over and picked her up, and walked out of the small room quickly.

That night, An Xiaoduo slept very restlessly, dreaming non-stop, many scenes changed illogically, she seemed to wake up and sleep, sleep and sleep, vaguely felt the incandescent lamp above her head flickering on and off, Turning off and turning on again made her fearful and disturbed.She actually vaguely remembered a night more than a year ago, she had also encountered such an experience, her whole body was like being soaked in cold water, she kept getting chills, the pain in her abdomen suddenly exploded, and then intensified, she Rolling and rolling on the narrow bed until he was dying.

"Xiaoduo, wake up..."

It was as if someone was calling her by her ears. She wanted to open her eyes, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t. The upper and lower eyelids seemed to be glued together by sweat, and the pain flooded up like a tide. She was exhausted soon. , the consciousness drifted away, the noise in the ears seemed to be far away, and the surrounding gradually became quiet until it fell into silence.

She seemed to have slept a long sleep and dreamed many dreams, in which she was a child sitting on the rail of her father's bicycle across a green field.A handmade windmill was inserted into the front of the car, turning lightly with the wind. She looked up happily and saw her father smiling at her with his head down. At that time, his father was young and handsome, with a very beautiful smile.His chin rested on her head, rubbing gently, his eyes full of infinite love.

"Dad, did you bring my kite?"

"Bring it, Dad will teach you to fly a kite later."

"Great! When I learn that I can participate in the school competition... why doesn't Mom come with us?"

"Your mother has to go to work and has no time."

……

She tried hard to lift her heavy eyelids, and a figure jumped into her eyes, her vision gradually turned from blurry to clear, she saw the person clearly, and curled the corner of her mouth: "Good morning."

After she finished speaking, she was taken aback by her own hoarse voice.

Li Xiaoan was startled, and asked tentatively, "An Xiaoduo?"

Confusion appeared in An Xiaoduo's eyes: "Why are you here?"

Li Xiaoan breathed a sigh of relief, and sat back on the sofa beside him: "You have been in a coma for three days."

An Xiaoduo was surprised, and turned her head to look at him with difficulty, only to realize that she was in his house.This room was the one she lived in before, and the furnishings were exactly the same as in memory. Apart from Li Xiaoan, there was also a well-dressed woman in the room.An Xiaoduo knew her, she had met at the Tang family before, she was the family doctor of the Tang family, surnamed Yu.

Doctor Yu said, "Miss An, do you still feel uncomfortable?"

An Xiaoduo shook her head and asked hoarsely, "What's wrong with me?"

"You have a strong menstrual period reaction, and you have a high fever." Dr. Yu poured her a glass of boiled water and helped her sit up.

"Thank you." An Xiaoduo didn't take it seriously. In the past two years, her health has deteriorated a lot. Colds and fevers are commonplace.Her throat was so swollen that it hurt to swallow.

After the doctor left, Li Xiaoan looked at her gravely: "You kept calling Dad when you were asleep, do you want to see him?"

"No, I don't see him..." An Xiaoduo turned pale, and hastily clarified, "I just dreamed about him, I didn't see him, really, I didn't see him!"

Li Xiaoan's gaze stayed on her panicked face, and somehow his heart ached: "Why are you so anxious, I won't do anything to him."

After he finished speaking, he slammed the door and went out. Just as An Xiaoduo breathed a sigh of relief, someone came in again.

"Xiaoduo, you're awake, are you hungry?" Aunt Cen came in with a smile and brought white porridge and meat floss, and quickly opened the small table and put it on the bed.

An Xiaoduo's stomach grumbled at the right time: "Aunt Cen, you came just in time."

The porridge was stewed very badly, like a bowl of thick rice soup. Seeing it whetted her appetite, she picked up the spoon and ate it.

"Eat slowly, be careful of burning." Aunt Cen said while adding meat floss to her bowl, "You finally woke up, Xiao An was exhausted these two days, and she guarded you day and night, you Crying and making noise at night, he didn't sleep all night..."

An Xiaoduo interrupted her softly: "Auntie, I know he is nervous about me, even though he treats me like he usually does, I have never doubted his feelings for me. But I also know that he will never forget that I am An Zhengran's daughter , This thorn is stuck in his heart, and it will never be pulled out."

Aunt Cen could not help but let out a long sigh.

After sleeping for such a long time, An Xiaoduo tossed and turned at night and couldn't fall asleep anymore. She turned on a wall lamp and sat on the pillow to read a book.

"What book are you reading?"

She looked up, and Li Xiaoan was standing at the door at some point.She held up the cover of the book and said, "Little Reunion by Eileen Chang."

He walked in, and his tall figure enveloped her.

She had been ill for a while, and he was also haggard a lot, with a faint blue color under his eyes, presumably because he didn't have much rest in the past few nights.

An Xiaoduo looked at him silently, then reached out and patted the side beside him.

He didn't seem to expect that she would issue such an invitation, so he stared at her for a while, and finally lay down beside her, closing his eyes.

The room was so quiet that we could even hear each other's breathing.An Xiaoduo slowly approached him, but he didn't move. She boldly lay on his chest as before, listening to his heartbeat.

A few days ago, she took the wrong bus, passed by a sand tea noodle shop she used to frequent, went in and ordered a bowl of noodles.Sitting at the simple tables and chairs, she looked around and found that the store was still the same, even the proprietress who was sitting at the cash register hadn't changed much. She had a fat figure, was dressed in colorful clothes, and her hair was curled up behind her head.

After eating, he went to pay. The proprietress took the money and smiled at An Xiaoduo.

"Little girl, I recognized you as soon as you entered the door. You used to bring friends to eat, didn't you?"

An Xiaoduo couldn't help smiling: "Yes, I didn't expect you to remember."

"I can't forget, your boyfriend still visits here often."

When An Xiaoduo realized that the person the proprietress was talking about was Li Xiaoan, she couldn't believe it: "He...he came here alone?"

"That's right, he comes by himself. He always orders the same sand tea noodles as you, but put more peanut sauce. You guys even have the same taste. Few big men like sweet ones."

An Xiaoduo was surprised, Li Xiaoan didn't like to eat pasta, and she insisted on dragging him here before.If it wasn't for her liking to eat, he would never have thought of stepping into such a snack bar in his life as a clean freak and fastidious person.

They are all desperately looking for the past, just because they know very well in their hearts that the past will never go back.

The next day An Xiaoduo woke up, her side was empty, and she put her hands on them. The cold temperature in her palms made her suspect that the two of them sleeping together last night were just a dream.

Sitting on the bed in a daze for a while, she lifted the quilt and got out of bed, washed up briefly, and just after changing clothes, she heard a strange sound from outside the door.She went to open the door, but there was no one there, and when she was wondering, she heard two soft cat meows, and when she lowered her head, she saw her younger sister circling around her feet, with her big tail brushing her trousers one after another, like It's trying to please her.She laughed, squatted on the ground and played with it for a while, then picked it up and went downstairs to find Aunt Cen.

As soon as she reached the passageway, voices came from the living room downstairs. Because the sofa was facing her back, she couldn't see it, and she couldn't hear it very clearly. She could only vaguely hear the voices of Aunt Cen and another woman.She didn't want to disturb her and was about to go back to her room when a man's voice suddenly came: "Miss An—"

She followed the sound and saw a man in a black suit nodding at her at the stairs on the first floor.After recognizing him as the driver of the Tang family, she immediately guessed who Aunt Cen was talking to.

"Miss An, Madam wants to see you."

Ever since she went to the villa by the lake, she knew that this day would come sooner or later. She would not be so lucky. Some people, she couldn't escape, and she didn't have to try to escape at all.

Put my sister down, and she went downstairs.

Madam Tang on the sofa raised her eyes: "Miss An, long time no see."

An Xiaoduo met her gaze, and said neither humble nor humble: "Mrs. Tang, hello."

"Miss An, please sit down." Mrs. Tang said with a smile, but there was no smile in her eyes.She takes good care of herself, and her skin is still smooth and fair in her sixties, with some wrinkles appearing only at the corners of her eyes when she smiles.When An Xiaoduo sat down, she glanced lightly at Aunt Cen beside her, and Aunt Cen immediately understood and said, "Ma'am, I'm going to water the greenhouse."

"Okay." Madam Tang picked up the black tea on the table, took a sip, and then turned her gaze to An Xiaoduo, "Miss An, you are a smart person, you must be clear about my reason for coming."

An Xiaoduo nodded silently.

"Frankly speaking, I really don't want to see you anymore. When I see you, I always think of Yuan Yuan inevitably, which makes me very sad."

"Sorry……"

"It was your father who made the mistake, not you," Mrs. Tang said slowly, "I'm not a person who doesn't distinguish between right and wrong, but your existence has caused Xiaoan harm, and this kind of harm is irreparable. I can't look at him Falling in again."

An Xiaoduo bit her lip and said nothing.

"So, please leave Wucheng and never appear in front of him again."

"I'm not going."

Mrs. Tang frowned: "Miss An, staying in Wucheng is not good for you. Do you still have hope for Xiao'an? Yuan Yuan is a knot between you and it is impossible to untie it. You are still young, and it is still too late to leave now." In time, you are so beautiful, I don’t worry that no man will love you in the future, as long as you are willing to leave, I can give you a sum of money, enough for you to go wherever you want and live the life you want freely.”

"I don't want money."

"I know you are not a vain girl. If your father hadn't kidnapped Yuan Yuan, I might still be able to fulfill you. If you want to blame it, you are An Zhengran's daughter."

An Xiaoduo lowered her head, unable to speak for a long time.

"I heard that your father was released on medical parole?"

An Xiaoduo's eyelashes trembled, and she suddenly looked up at her.

Seeing her reaction, Mrs. Tang smiled slowly: "He is old and suffers from such a serious kidney disease, and there is not much time left. You are a filial child, so you don't want to visit him and take care of him by his side. Let him have a good life with his daughter Cheng Huan for a few days?"

An Xiaoduo's eyes turned red all of a sudden, and her hands trembled involuntarily.

As if to give her time to think, Mrs. Tang continued after a while, "As far as I know, your father is not allowed to go out for medical treatment. During the two years he was in prison, he committed several self-harm. do you know?"

self harm!An Xiaoduo's eyes showed astonishment and shock.

"It seems that you don't know. I've had someone investigate it. Your father has been suffering from severe boredom and even depression. It's no wonder that in such a place and environment, even with a will of steel It's hard to be depressed, not to mention that he is a person who is over half a hundred years old and suffers from many diseases. He must feel that there is nothing to love in life. In this world, he is alone and has no worries..."

"Stop it!" An Xiaoduo shouted excitedly, her eyes filled with tears, "Mrs. Tang, if I leave Xiao'an, can you let me reunite with my father?"

"I can."

"Can you guarantee that the lives of our father and daughter will not be threatened in any way?"

Mrs. Tang pondered for a moment, then took out a business card from her exquisite handbag and put it on the table: "I will arrange for you to leave Wucheng. If there is something you are worried about in the future, you can directly contact me by calling the number above, and I will deal with it." .”

An Xiaoduo closed her eyes, letting the tears flow out of her eyes and down her cheeks.When she said the word "good", at that moment, a huge pain spread from the heart to the limbs.

She stood at the door dazedly, watching the Bentley leave. Mrs. Tang in the car glanced at the rearview mirror and sighed almost inaudibly.They are all idiots and resentful daughters. She can't control the child she treats as her own, so she can only use this method to make An Xiaoduo leave voluntarily.

After standing there for an unknown amount of time, Aunt Cen came over and patted her on the shoulder: "It's windy here, let's go inside."

An Xiaoduo obediently returned to the living room. Aunt Cen saw her in a daze, and said worriedly: "Xiaoduo, what did your wife tell you?"

An Xiaoduo shook her head and said, "Aunt Cen, don't let Xiaoan know about my meeting with Mrs. Tang today."

"I see, my wife explained."

"That's good." An Xiaoduo walked up the stairs step by step while holding the ladder.

In fact, this is also good, Mrs. Tang's guarantee is more credible than anything else, she can finally take her father to her side, take good care of him, and live with him.But why does her heart hurt so much?As if a piece had been severely gouged out.

(End of this chapter)