leave this sad place

Chapter 112 Birthday
Everything seems to start again, those memories of the past just wait for it to be lost in the narrow gate of time.

Listening carefully to each lesson, Ouyang no longer cared about whether those teachers were biased.

"Even if the teacher is really biased, it can't be an excuse for not wanting to study!" He advised himself, even with a hint of warning.But how ridiculous, it was him who was warning him!

"The Chinese teacher doesn't care much about me. This is a very normal thing in itself! Who said that my Chinese is not as good as others? Who said that my writing is poor?" He defended again, trying to make himself feel at ease, But with a hint of self-deprecating taste, in his heart, somewhere he didn't know, a seed had sprouted faintly.

"The head teacher always stares at his son, it's human nature! What father doesn't care about his son?" He said the same reason again, but he felt a bit bitter in his heart!Where is his father?What two extremes of contradiction!One doesn't love her very much at all, and the other can't wait to stay by his son's side all the time!Why does his own have to be "different" to make him suffer?
"As for the other teachers, let's get used to it slowly." He sighed. It has been more than three months since he came to this class, and he still hasn't gotten used to it.

The sadness of the autumn wind blowing down the autumn leaves, the red maple leaves look like drops of blood-colored tears!

Under the shade of the tree, on the path, Ouyang strolled alone.

He wants to adjust himself well and let himself enter the state of learning as soon as possible.

"Today, He Xi?" He missed an ancient poem, but he didn't know which one or which line to read.So, I read it casually, but there is a trace of the vicissitudes of time.

"Hehe." He didn't know what to say anymore, he laughed foolishly twice, and remembered those past memories again.

"Why do you always linger?" His eyes were a little dim, and there was a bit of sadness on his face.

"Don't think so much." He comforted himself again.Those unforgettable times, those beautiful memories, he wanted to keep in his heart, but he was afraid that it would hurt his heart.

His eyes dimmed a little more, and it has been a full year now.Those losses and pains have tortured him for a whole year, but he still doesn't seem to be free.

"Scholar's procrastination, you can still say it; women's procrastination, you can't say it." There was a trace of sarcasm at the corner of his mouth, how ironic this sentence was to him!

"Why?" He wanted to shout again, but whispered again, his heart was soaked in loss and pain, and became a little weak.

He recalled slowly in his mind, but he didn't know why he still had to recall those things, and he still cared about them, even though his heart would cry and it would be very painful!
"Today?" He took out his phone and looked through the calendar to find out what day it is.There was still that trace of sadness and misery on his face.However, he froze suddenly again, and a trace of bitterness slowly crept up his face.I don't know what it feels like.

"So tomorrow is my birthday." He sighed, not knowing what to say.

"I almost forgot my birthday." His heart became even more bitter. Forgetting his birthday was not because he was too busy, but because he was too sad!
"Before I knew it, I was almost eighteen." His heart felt desolate again, recalling all the past, he had too much unspeakable sadness and heartache.

"Eighteen, I'm eighteen now." There was a trace of panic in his heart again, eighteen, this special age seems to have a magical power, whipping him, making his heart a little flustered .

"Eighteen, I'm almost eighteen." He kept repeating, eighteen, this number seems to have a special meaning.Let him repeat it repeatedly, making him want to see the secret hidden inside.

The night is coming slowly again. I don’t know whether to say it is hard work or hard work.The stars escaped from the cage, one, two, three... cheerfully calling for their companions.

"Why don't you feel a little familiar?" Ouyang looked at the starry sky outside the window, and the light in his eyes dimmed a bit.

"Why can't I even find a familiar star?" His voice was low, as if crying, with some tears in his eyes.

"Did you hide it? Then where did you hide it?" His face was full of disappointment.

"Tomorrow is my birthday." He murmured again, the muscles on his face twitched slightly, with a bit of pain.

"Why can't I feel a little bit of happiness?" His mood became even lower, like a deep pool of stagnant water, the breeze can't blow the slightest ripple!
"What am I going to congratulate myself with?" His heart was bleeding, it's been 18 years, and he seems to have nothing!Heartbroken, I can't even find a friend to confide in!In this way, I spent eighteen springs and autumns in a daze.

"Hehe." He wanted to cry, but couldn't.He wanted to laugh, and moved the corners of his mouth, but he couldn't make a slight smile, how sad!

"What can I congratulate you on—my birthday?" Tears flickered in his eyes, and his heart grieved endlessly.He couldn't find a word to congratulate himself!

Looking at the hazy moonlight falling outside the window, it is so desolate and so cold!He watched obsessively, trying to see a familiar expression from the indifferent face of the moon.

However, he was doomed to be disappointed, everything had changed, and everything he was familiar with was gone!

"Hehe, mine, my birthday." He choked up a little, with an indescribable feeling of loneliness.It was as if the entire starry sky had abandoned him and his birthday, leaving him to live alone.No blessings, no laughter!
He stared blankly out of the window, looking and looking at this familiar yet unfamiliar starry sky.

Smiling foolishly, with a bit of stupidity, a bit of nervousness, like a child, even more like a madman!
"Congratulations, what should I congratulate you with? My birthday." He said again, like an old disease aching in his heart!
"Write a poem?" He murmured, more sad.As if poetry itself was the pain he could not erase.

"A poem, oh, a poem, what kind of poem is it?" He didn't know anymore, but what he was sure of was—it was definitely not a cheerful meter!

1 pain
child of the night
half the sky
half the earth
What comes from the blood is darkness
2 Confused
The first mouse to open its eyes
There is only one mouse in the ice and snow
3 First Love
honey bee
Thinking of that sweet encounter from the bottom of my heart

There is a pair of fiery lips in the dream

4 childish
A white moth seeks

Looking for warmth, looking for a cemetery

There is only fire in the blurred eyes
5 lovelorn
I can't find that star in the sky anymore
twinkling star
On the hazy moon sits a cold face

empty eyes
In the broken dream there is only the incomplete moon

6 Cemetery
A pile of soil on the grassland, a monument with five fingers

Eighteen dark clouds float in the blue sky

There are eighteen crystal flowers blooming on the grave

Eighteen drops of black rain

There was the howling of a wolf!
Memories of the past surged in his heart again. Is he lost or should he be sad?He couldn't make out anymore.

He wrote paragraph by paragraph, paragraph by paragraph with his own heart.For your own birthday, for your own birthday!
Eighteenth, eighteenth, what a memorable festival that should have been!

But that day in Ouyang was doomed to be nothing but tears and loneliness!

"What's the name for it?" He finished writing the last word with tears in his eyes!He didn't know how much courage it took him to write it out.

"Let's call it "The Funeral Song of Youth." His voice is almost a mourning!
(End of this chapter)