The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 23 Cultivate children's enterprising spirit to win future rewards

(Harvard Representative: Liang Sicheng) Human past and present efforts have removed many obstacles on the road to knowledge, let us continue to work hard to remove the remaining obstacles.

——Quincy, the 19th President of Harvard University
【Wonderful Guide】

Biography of Liang Sicheng
Liang Sicheng (1901～1972), a famous architect.Guangdong Xinhui people. He was admitted to Harvard University in 1928 and studied at the Academy of Fine Arts.After graduating and returning to China, he served as a professor at Northeastern University, the head of the Department of Architecture, and a researcher at the China Construction Society.After the founding of the People's Republic of China, he successively served as a professor and director of the Department of Architecture of Tsinghua University, a member of the Technical Science Department of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, the first to fourth vice chairman of the Architectural Society of China, and the first to third vice chairman of the Beijing Municipal Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference.China Democratic League federate. Joined the Communist Party of China in 1959.He is a deputy to the first and second National People's Congress, a member of the Standing Committee of the third National People's Congress, a member of the Standing Committee of the second National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference, and a member of the third National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference.He has been engaged in research and teaching of ancient architecture for a long time. In 1946, the Department of Architecture of Tsinghua University was established.He has profound attainments in Chinese and foreign ancient architecture, urban planning, and architectural design.Participated in the design of the National Emblem of the People's Republic of China and the Monument to the People's Heroes in Tiananmen Square.Designed the "Monk Jianzhen Memorial Hall" in Yangzhou.He is the author of "History of Chinese Architecture", "History of Chinese Sculpture", "Notes on French Architecture", etc.

As a scholar, he dared to charge forward to defend the cultural dignity of Chinese architectural space.As early as the 20s, he, together with Zhu Qiqian and other colleagues from the Chinese Academy of Architecture, used modern scientific experimental research methods to conduct surveys, surveys, and inductive analyzes of ancient buildings that existed at that time, laying a solid foundation for the modern exploration of Chinese architecture. Base.In the early days of the founding of the People's Republic of China, he continued to write articles on the construction strategy and urban development planning of the capital Beijing.He once served as the deputy director of the Beijing Municipal Construction Committee and made great contributions to the urban construction of Beijing.

【Character Story】

Don't ask about the harvest, but ask about the hard work

The great scholar Liang Qichao was not only the children's loving father, but also their good friend.He often sat the children around a small round table, drinking wine, and vividly telling historical stories at home and abroad.Through face-to-face conversations and letters, he discussed state affairs and philosophy of life with them on an equal footing, explained his attitude towards scholarship and methods of learning, and also told them the joys and sorrows of life, incorporating the principles of life into them.

When children encounter difficulties in their studies, Liang Qichao always guides them to untie the knots, overcome difficulties, and move on, teaching them to "don't ask about the harvest, but ask about the hard work".

Liang Qichao repeatedly emphasized to the children that learning should "seek understanding" instead of "rote memorization", and repeatedly warned to combine work with rest and "play more sports".

The eldest son, Liang Sicheng, has a wide range of hobbies in addition to his excellent academic performance.He has studied violin and piano, and is a member of the school singing team and captain of the wind band.He is the backbone of the school art club, serves as the art editor of the school magazine, and participated in the design of the monument to Mr. Wang Guowei of Tsinghua University.He is also a well-known football player in Tsinghua University, and won the No.1 high jump in the school sports meeting.He is also very good at gymnastics.

With the support of his father, he translated Wells' "Outline of World History" with his classmates Wu Wenzao and Xu Zongshu when he was studying in Tsinghua University.

In 1914, Liang Qichao was hired to give lectures at Tsinghua University.He worried that his children would lose traditional Chinese culture if they received Western education in Tsinghua University, so he taught Chinese culture to his children every holiday.The biggest influence of his father on Sicheng is his optimistic and cheerful personality, his progressive personality and his academically rigorous and solid attitude.

When Liang Sicheng was studying at Harvard, his father taught him: "Set aside some time to learn more general knowledge, especially literature, or some departments in the humanities. I am afraid that you will learn more because you are too specialized. Life is also close to monotonous, too monotonous life, easy to get bored, and boredom is the root of distress and even degeneration." He also told Sicheng: "Everyone who does learning must always be 'boiled' and 'slowly stewed'... The cycles work in tandem. It's the simmering that allows digestion of what's boiled..."

【Harvard view】

Self-motivation is directly proportional to achievement

In life, some children are in a bad mood in class all day long, and they don't care about criticism from their parents and teachers. They don't care about other people's excellent grades, and they just know how to play.This is a sign of lack of self-motivation. A person can do nothing without self-motivation. Only self-motivation can truly realize self-worth. Therefore, self-motivation is a prerequisite for affecting a person's life. With self-motivation, you will become very rich .

A poor young man in France started out by selling decorative portraits.In less than ten years, he quickly became one of the top 50 richest men in France.Unfortunately, he died in hospital in 1998 of prostate cancer.After his death, a French newspaper published a copy of his will.In this will, he said: "I used to be a rich man. Before I stepped into the threshold of heaven as a rich man, I set the secret of becoming a rich man as a question. Whoever can pass Whoever guesses the secret of becoming a rich man by answering "what the poor lack most" will be congratulated by me, and the 100 million francs I leave in the bank's private safe will be used as a bonus for those who solve the mystery of poverty , is also the cheers and applause I give him in heaven."

After the will was published, tens of thousands of people sent in their answers.These answers are varied and have everything that one expects to find.The vast majority of people think that what the poor lack the most is money, and if they have money, they are no longer poor.Others believe that the reason why the poor are poor is that what they lack most is opportunity.Some people believe that what the poor lack most is skills.Some people say that what the poor lack most is help and care, beauty, brand-name clothes, and the position of president.

Later, he disclosed his secret of getting rich. He believed that what the poor lack most is the ambition to become rich.

Among all the answers, a 9-year-old girl guessed right.Accepting the 100 million franc award, she said: "Every time my sister brought home her 11-year-old boyfriend, she always warned me not to be ambitious! Don't be ambitious! So I thought, maybe ambition is okay. Let people get what they want.”

After the mystery was revealed, there was a great shock.When some upstarts and rich men talked about this topic, they all admitted: "Ambition is the eternal cure for poverty, and it is the starting point of all miracles. The reason why the poor are poor is mostly because they have an incurable weakness. It is the lack of ambition to get rich, that is, the lack of the most fundamental factor of success-aggressiveness."

The pride and self-satisfaction produced by teenage success is like opium to many people, which will anesthetize and paralyze their hearts, and only dissatisfaction and constant aggressiveness can eliminate this emotion. A person who drifts with the crowd and is content with the status quo is It is impossible to achieve anything; only those who are not satisfied with the status quo, pursue perfection, and strive for excellence will become winners.

[Easy interaction]

Test your aggressiveness
Suppose you live in the room on the left side of the second floor. One day, you want to go out to take out the garbage. There is a window on your left, and there is a garbage channel on the upper and lower floors, and there is also a garbage channel on the far right of the second floor. , you have the following options:

A. Choose the garbage channel upstairs to take out the garbage.

B. Choose the garbage channel downstairs to take out the garbage.

C. Go straight to the right from where you are, and take out the garbage in the garbage lane on the right.

D. Pour out the window.

Test Results:

Choice A: It means that you are very aggressive and have a strong desire to get a better position. Whether it is work or study, you like to get a good position. You are a very self-motivated person.

Choice B: It means that you may have fallen into a kind of lazy thinking recently. You hope that you can save energy, but you don’t consider returning to the original position in the future, which requires the same effort as making progress.

Choose C: It means that you may be very satisfied with the status quo now. You don't like turbulent life, but like an ordinary life.

Choice D: It means that your quality needs to be cultivated.The reason why you are not going well now is likely to be a matter of your personal cultivation.

【Parent-child total product】

How to stimulate children's self-motivation?

1. Help children set appropriate goals

Don't set too high expectations for your children, which will bring pressure to your children.This is the main reason for the weakening of self-motivation.If you are too indulgent, everything is sloppy, and there is no goal at all, it will also make the child lose self-motivation.Therefore, it is necessary to communicate more with children, set appropriate and clear goals, and often let children experience the joy of success and build a sense of accomplishment.This can slowly stimulate the child's self-motivation.

2. Give children encouragement and comfort when appropriate
When children fail, parents should reach out and give them sympathy, comfort and encouragement.Not only can children build self-confidence, but also can inspire children to continue to make progress.

3. More affirmation of children's progress and advantages

Parents tend to pay special attention to their children's shortcomings and deliberately criticize their children's shortcomings, which can easily cause trouble for children.In fact, children's advantages are more worthy of affirmation, which is an indispensable auxiliary force for children to be active and enterprising.And the shortcomings are not immutable. Once the child corrects the mistakes, the parents will give them praise, believing that the child can follow the encouragement of the adults to develop, which invisibly stimulates the child's self-motivation.

【Harvard view】

Forge ahead, not never give up

From childhood to adulthood, we often heard the admonition that "perseverance to the end is victory", so no matter what kind of difficulties we encounter, we are willing to charge again and again until our heads are broken.As everyone knows, while we are persisting, we should also examine our own direction in time and make timely adjustments.

There was a farmer who aspired to become a writer and worked hard for ten years.He insisted on writing 500 words every day. After an article was completed, he revised it again and again, and then sent it to newspapers and magazines far away with hope.However, after years of hard work, he has never turned a single word into printed form, and he has never even received a rejection letter. At the age of 29, he finally received his first rejection letter.It was sent by the editor-in-chief of a journal that he has been contributing to for many years. The editor-in-chief said: "It can be seen that you are a very hardworking young man. But I have to tell you with regret that your knowledge is too extensive. narrow, life experience is relatively pale. But I found from your manuscripts over the years that your pen calligraphy is getting better and better..." He is Zhang Wenju, now a famous hard pen calligrapher.When reporters went to interview him, the most frequently asked question was: "What do you think is the most important condition for a person to succeed?"

Zhang Wenju said: "Whether a person can succeed or not, ideals are very important, courage is very important, and perseverance is very important. But more importantly, on the road of life, one must know how to give up and know how to turn!"

In life, many ambitious people are strong-willed, but unable to succeed because they cannot try new things.

"All roads lead to Rome", this road does not work, please take the other road.Of course, we can't hesitate to move forward, but we can't be too stubborn and ignorant of flexibility.If you really don't feel like it's going to work, try another route.

Some teenagers may say, I am a strong person, I can overcome all difficulties, and there is no need to make detours, which is the law of success for the weak.

This is a very wrong perception.

Can you really overcome all odds?Can you kick the boulder away?Can you cross the river in one step?If you cannot overcome difficulties, you will not be able to reach your destination, but if you take a detour, you will be able to reach your destination.Regardless of the weak or the strong, isn't it a wise move to choose a detour?
Even if you can overcome the difficulties in front of you, if the time, financial resources and manpower spent to overcome the difficulties are far more than taking a detour, why don't you choose to take a detour?An important feature of detours is to avoid strong and suddenly weak, that is, to avoid strong obstacles and break through weak places. No effort, no gain, so why not do it?

[Easy interaction]

1. Do you teach your children never to give up in anything?

2. When you let your child give up a beloved thing or decision, how do you do it, is the child satisfied?

【Parent-child total product】

According to a Harvard professor, "When a child insists on doing something, a token smack is a helpful attitude for parents to adopt. Parents who only say yes to avoid being a despot will only Creates a fantasy and dangerous situation that is disconnected from real life. Like receiving love, intimacy and friendship from parents, children should learn to include disappointment, anger, hatred, argument and abandonment." For children to develop well-rounded, their interests must be broad, When a child is obsessed with something that is not suitable for her innate conditions, as a parent, it is the responsibility and even more obligatory to help the child get out of the way.Multi-party training does not cover everything or evenly distribute strength. To carry out education, we must also consider whether the environment and conditions permit, especially according to the children's physical and mental characteristics, hobbies, and development prospects.Most teenagers are very confident. Even in the face of insurmountable difficulties and countless failures, children will naively believe that as long as they persist, they will eventually succeed. In life, when encountering such a situation, immediately seize the opportunity to teach children to learn to think realistically, learn to choose, and learn to give up.

Xiaoya has been depressed for a long time, and her study has also been affected to a certain extent.Parents are very worried.One night, she told her mother that there would be an election for class cadres in the class the next day.She said that her grades were not the best in the class, and her ability was not the strongest.My mother told her wisely: "Since this is the case, you should give them this opportunity and believe that they can serve the class better, and you should make good use of your time to study and improve your grades before competing."

Xiaoya tossed and turned all night and didn't sleep well.The next morning, the first thing Xiaoya said to her mother was: "Mom, I've made up my mind, I won't run for election this time!" Looking at Xiaoya's red and swollen eyes, her mother realized that her daughter had grown up.

(End of this chapter)