The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 39 Teach children to be optimistic so that they can face the storms of life (1)
(Harvard representative: Henry Kissinger) Whether you are happy or miserable depends not entirely on what you get, but more on what you feel with your heart.

—Henry Hoffman, professor at Harvard University
【Wonderful Guide】

Kissinger Biography

亨利·基辛格(1923～ )，美国前副总统，生于德国费尔特市。犹太人后裔。1938年移居美国。1943年加入美国籍。1943年至1946年在美国陆军服役。

1950年毕业于哈佛大学，获文学硕士，1954年获哲学博士学位。1951年至1969年任哈佛大学国际关系研究班执行主任、国际问题研究中心负责人、讲师、副教授和教授。1969年至1974年任尼克松总统国家安全事务助理。1969年至1975年任国家安全事务助理。1973年至1977年任国务卿。此后在乔治敦大学任客座教授，兼任全国广播公司顾问、大通曼哈顿银行国际咨询委员会主席、阿斯彭学会高级研究员等职。1982年开办基辛格“国际咨询”公司并担任董事长。1983年任美国广播公司新闻分析员。1983年至1984年任美国中美洲问题两党全国委员会主席。1986年9月任美印委员会主席。1987年3月任美国-中国协会两主席之一。

Author of Nuclear Weapons and Foreign Policy, A World Resurgent, The Necessity of Choice: A Perspective on American Foreign Policy, Troubled Partnerships: A Revaluation of the Atlantic Alliance, Years in the White House, On the Record, "The Age of Turmoil" etc.

Winner of the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize. In 1977, he was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

In July 1971, Kissinger visited China as President Nixon's special envoy, making historic contributions to the opening of the door to Sino-US relations. In February 7, he accompanied President Nixon to visit China.Over the years has been concerned about and support the development of Sino-US relations.

【Character Story】

optimistic, successful

After moving to New York with his parents in 1938, Kissinger was inserted into the fall class at George Washington Middle School.Kissinger was shy at school, had low self-esteem and even felt lonely because of "language difficulties".For this reason, mother Paula was very anxious.She always said to Henry Kissinger: "Children, these are nothing. This is God's arrangement. We cannot lose our faith in life because of this. Of course, we cannot pray to God to give us great happiness." This is very important to Henry Kissinger. Kissinger was so influential that he kept his cool in the face of most failures and successes.In order to overcome Henry's inferiority complex, she told him stories about Einstein and Heine, and she also determined to learn English with her son.After a year of hard training, Henry finally mastered the language proficiently, and later even won the appreciation of diplomats all over the world for his excellent use of English in political activities.

With the encouragement of his mother, Henry not only passed the language test, but also his grades in various subjects soared.But the kind-hearted Henry saw that his mother worked very hard for him to study and maintain the life of the family, so he proposed to work during the day and become a night student.As a mother, Paula didn't want her child to suffer, so she didn't agree.But when Kissinger asked repeatedly, Paula agreed.She thinks this is an opportunity for children to exercise in adversity.Henry found work at a brush factory in Manhattan.His first job was to squeeze the acid water from his mane, and he was later promoted to delivery boy.

Although he changed to a night student, Henry's grades have always been among the best.His math grades are better than historical grades.He showed a high aptitude for solving intermediate algebraic and trigonometry problems.

After becoming famous, whenever someone asked Henry Kissinger, who cultivated his communication and management skills, he always told others that it was his mother who taught him optimism and encouraged him to be brave to communicate with others.It is this kind of encouragement from his mother that makes him have the courage to try, whether in life or work, and constantly summarizes, constantly increases his knowledge and wisdom in his attempts.

【Harvard view】

You have to do your best to play the cards in your hands, complaining is futile

It is not easy to train children to be optimistic about the difficulties in life, but it is a profound art. When to intervene, when to withdraw, when to praise and when to criticize, parents need to use wisdom to think.

Eisenhower was born in a poor family in Denison City, Texas.His birth brought difficulties to the already poor family, and his parents could only make ends meet by working.After graduating from high school, he also dropped out of school due to financial constraints. Due to his poor family, none of his six brothers received higher education, and Eisenhower could only enter West Point Military Academy for free.Eisenhower's choice of a military career was entirely out of personal preference, not the will of his parents.His mother is an optimist. Although she does not want her son to join the army, she hopes that her son can enter college, but she does not stop her son because of this.

Before Eisenhower went to West Point Military Academy, she only told her son one sentence: "It is God who deals the cards. You must hold the cards no matter what. All you can do is to always maintain an optimistic attitude and try your best to play your hand well." Seek the best results. The same is true in life.” There is a history of this saying.It was after a dinner that Eisenhower Jr. was playing a card game with his family. He drew very bad cards several times in a row, and he began to complain unhappily.His mother paused to admonish him.Many years have passed, Eisenhower has always kept in mind his mother's teachings, optimistically faced all the difficulties encountered in life, and never complained about life.He always meets every challenge of fate with a positive attitude and optimistic mood, and does everything he can to the best of his ability.

In the process of children's growth, they need the support and encouragement of their parents. Parents' encouragement can expand the scope of children's experience and cultivate children to face all difficulties in life optimistically.At the same time, it can also make children understand that even if they fail, their parents will stand on the same front as themselves.

The value of Eisenhower's mother's education method is that she has always encouraged her children to face any problems they encounter optimistically and develop an optimistic attitude, thus helping them to achieve a successful life.

[Easy interaction]

1. By reading Eisenhower's story, what inspiration do you have for educating your children?
2. Think about it, do you think your child is optimistic when facing difficulties?
3. Can you effectively encourage your child when he is frustrated?
【Parent-child total product】

As a parent, how should we help our children develop an optimistic personality?
1. Let the children gain friendship.Parents should create conditions for children to establish good interpersonal relationships, encourage children to play with their peers, and learn how to have pleasant and harmonious interpersonal interactions.

2. Give children certain decision-making power.Children are repelled by decisions imposed on them, and whether they guide or control their behavior is closely related to the formation of their character.Parents should provide opportunities for children to make their own decisions about what to choose and what not to choose.

3. Teach children to adjust their mentality.When children fall into pain or worry, parents should help them find a way out, such as listening to music, reading, riding a bicycle or talking with friends, so that children can cheer up from disappointment and restore a happy mood as soon as possible.

4. Limit children's desire for material possession.Psychologists have found that children with a particularly rich family income are not as happy as people imagine, they are just satisfied with what they have.Excessive giving will cause children to have the illusion that "acquisition is the source of happiness", and this kind of happiness based on material satisfaction is often difficult to last.

5. Cultivate children's broad interests.Provide children with a variety of activities and choices of interests, and give them the necessary guidance to develop their hobbies.Children are likely to be happier if they can participate in activities that interest them.

6. Create a happy family.Pleasant character formation is largely due to the environment created by the parents.

【Harvard view】

Only by facing difficulties optimistically can we withstand the blows of wind and rain
There are always unsatisfactory things in life. If you don’t have some unsatisfactory things to compare with in your life, then you will never know what true happiness is in your life.

A child's optimism comes first from the harmonious and happy atmosphere of the family, from the optimism, self-confidence, humor and open-mindedness of the parents, and from the fact that the parents not only help the child to correctly deal with and overcome the difficulties he faces, but also infect the child with his own optimism.In this way, even if they encounter difficulties and setbacks in their later lives, he can always maintain a healthy state of mind, possess psychological endurance, overcome difficulties, and achieve the set goals.Because his parents had made him believe in all good things.A person who has happy and warm memories of his childhood will always be filled with happiness in his chest.

Iacocca, president of Chrysler, once wrote in his autobiography: "On the road of life, there are thousands of small forks, and only a few real big forks-these are some moments to be taken seriously and practically. At that time It's time for me to make a decision. Do I quit, I'm 54 years old and I've accomplished a lot. Financially I don't have to worry about it, enough to play golf for the rest of my life.

"That's when I thought about something my father used to say to me when I was a kid: 'This moment is hard enough, but face it with optimism that it will pass.' I always felt that something was wrong. I knew I We must cheer up, face the difficulties in front of us optimistically, and continue to persevere.

“We all face adversity and setbacks in our lives, and sometimes bad things turn out to be good. Sometimes the situation is so dire that you have to fight your fate and win it. It was my father’s words that motivated me to A week later he became president of Chrysler."

Iacocca did not succumb to difficulties, but with an optimistic attitude, he was determined to find a place where he could display his talents and make a big career.He accepted the appointment of Chrysler Motor Company, which was in deep crisis and on the verge of bankruptcy, as president.He formulated a series of business strategies to bring the company back to life, and personally visited the production line.In order to show his determination to fight to the death, he set himself an annual salary of only a symbolic one dollar.After several years of hard work, the Chrysler Motor Company finally got out of the woods in the 20s, making billions of dollars in profits a year.

Iacocca's success is inseparable from his positive and optimistic attitude. Of course, his optimistic attitude is caused by his father's encouragement and influence when he was a child.It is precisely by developing this optimistic and positive attitude that Iacocca was able to become more and more courageous in the later shopping malls, overcoming difficulties time and time again, returning to life again and again, and creating myths one after another.

(End of this chapter)