There are ways to speak and speak skills

Chapter 32 How to Share Benefits → The Law of Win-Win (1)
People who are good at dealing with the world hope to let others win while they "win" in their own affairs. Any way of life that only pursues a single win is not a long-term solution.Striving for a win-win situation will win the trust of others, communicate with others, have the same goal, and live in harmony.

Jealousy can lead to success
The general mentality of jealous people is: "He is not great at all. I don't understand why everyone praises him so much. If I had the opportunity like him, I would do better than him. It is logical that this opportunity should be me. , I suspect that he has done something secretly. I want to expose his old background and let him never be complacent again. I must do this, but it must be done seamlessly."

Once they act, even if you are innocent, I am afraid that you will be hurt more or less, so that you will probably no longer dare to show your talents easily, cannot cooperate with them, and cannot even be in the original social circle. stay.

So how should this situation be avoided?How to deal with such people correctly?

During the Warring States Period, both Zhang Yi and Chen Zhen defected to King Qin Hui's sect and were reused.But soon Zhang Yi became jealous, because he felt that Chen Zhen was talented and much better than himself, and worried that the king of Qin would neglect him after a long time, and preferred Chen Zhen.So he looked for an opportunity to speak ill of Chen Zhen in front of King Qin, and slandered him.

One day, Zhang Yi said to King Hui of Qin, "Your Majesty often lets Chen Zhen travel between Qin and Chu, but now Chu's relationship with Qin is not as friendly as before, but it treats Chen Zhen very well. It can be seen that, Chen Zhen is wholeheartedly seeking profit for himself, not doing things for our Qin State sincerely. I often hear that Chen Zhen leaked the secrets of Qin State to Chu State. As your subject, how can you do this? I don’t want to agree People like this work together. Besides, I recently heard that he plans to leave Qin and go to Chu. If so, the king might as well kill him."

Hearing Zhang Yi's provocation, King Qin was naturally very angry, and immediately ordered Chen Zhen to come in.As soon as they met, King Qin said to Chen Zhen: "I heard that you want to leave me. Where are you going? Tell me, so I can prepare a vehicle for you!"

When Chen Zhen heard this, he couldn't figure it out, but just stared at King Qin.Soon he realized that there must be a reason for this, so he replied calmly, "I'm going to Chu State."

The King of Qin thought it was so.He believed Zhang Yi's words even more, and he said slowly: "That Zhang Yi's words are not fictional anymore."

Chen Zhen was completely clear in his heart.It turned out that Zhang Yi was playing tricks!He didn't answer King Qin's words right away, but calmed down and explained calmly: "Not only Zhang Yi knows about this, but even passers-by know about it. In the past, Yin Gaozong's son, Xiaoji, was very filial to his stepmother. Therefore, all people in the world hope that filial piety can be their own sons; Wu Zixu, the official of the Wu State, is so loyal to the King of Wu that all the kings of the world hope that Wu Zixu will be their servants. Therefore, if you sell slaves and concubines, if the left and right neighbors compete Buying them means that they are loyal servants and virtuous concubines, because the neighbors are eager to buy them because they know them very well. The people from the same town know her better. On the other hand, if I am loyal to you, the king, how can the king of Chu want me to be his servant? I am loyal, but I am suspected, where will I go if I don’t go to Chu?"

After hearing this, the King of Qin thought it was reasonable and nodded in agreement. Not only did he no longer doubt Chen Zhen, but also reused him more, and gave him more wealth. , gave him more generous treatment, on the contrary, he treated Zhang Yi much colder.

Jealous people are unwilling to put in the effort in the normal mechanism of competition.And once others made achievements, he felt aggrieved.I always feel unbalanced when I take it for granted that what should belong to him belongs to you.These people are disaffected and want what you're getting.Unless you can get rid of them, they will do everything in their power to retaliate against you.

Everywhere, there are people who don't work hard to make achievements in actual work, but always deliberately attack those who make achievements by their own strength.This kind of person is a typical jealous person, and you need to think carefully about the person you treat.

Psychological tips:

In the face of jealousy, many people give up their pursuit, making themselves stay in the ordinary and mediocre, confused with the ordinary, or even backward.Under the pressure of jealousy, some people have to retract their newly developed hands and feet, suppress their ambitions and ideals, and thus collapse under the pressure of jealousy, but few people are like Chen Chen in the story. He tried to fight back against Zhang Yi's jealousy.

You should keep in mind that their jealousy, and the accusations and attacks it creates, are expressions of incompetence in disguise.In other words, this kind of jealousy is actually a more extreme way to cover up and make up for one's own flaws and shortcomings by belittling the success and strengths of others.It can be said that it is a negative form of affirmation of your grades, rather than a real and objective criticism.Because of this, you don't have to mind and care about these jealousies at all, but you should get along with them very calmly and proudly.

The real strong should not be defeated by the jealousy of these villains. While acknowledging the serious blow of jealousy to people, we should also try our best to endure the jealousy of others.And take the envy of others as a kind of honor and pride for oneself. There is a good saying: "It is mediocrity not to be envied by others."

Sincere cooperation for a win-win situation
On the road to success, all wise people know how to unite to change their own destiny. In history, the six countries united against Qin and had to protect each other. Once the union broke down, they would all be destroyed by the strong Qin.

Thomson was an actor who was just breaking out in television.He's handsome, talented, and a good actor, starting out in small supporting roles and now a major character actor.From a professional point of view, he needs someone to package and publicize for him to expand his reputation.Therefore, he needs a public relations company to publish his photos and articles about him in various newspapers and magazines to increase his popularity.

However, to establish such a company, Thomson could not come up with so much money.By chance, he met Aisha.Aisha has worked in one of the largest public relations companies for many years. She is not only familiar with the business, but also has good popularity.She started a public relations firm of her own a few months ago and hopes to eventually break into public entertainment.So far, some famous actors, singers, and nightclub performers are reluctant to cooperate with her, and her business mainly depends on some small businesses and retail stores.When Thomson told Aisha about his idea, Aisha hit it off and worked together with him.

Thomson became Aisha's agent, and she provided him with the funding he needed to make his appearance.Their collaboration was at its best, Thomson was a handsome actor and was appearing in current TV dramas, and Elsa had some of the more influential newspapers and magazines focusing on him.In this way she became famous herself, and soon provided the social entertainment of famous people, who paid her well.Not only did Thomson not have to spend a lot of money for his popularity, but as his reputation grew, he also placed himself in a more favorable position in business activities.

Psychological tips:

Through the mutual cooperation between Aisha and Thomson, we can see such a pattern: Thomson needs to turn to Aisha to get expenses for promoting herself; own agent.You see, they cooperate with each other to make up for the lack of personal ability and complete a career that cannot be completed by one person.

Cooperation is a happy thing, and some things can only be accomplished by cooperation.If you don't cooperate, not only he can't get it, but you can't get it either.Sincere cooperation, 1+1 is greater than 2, such an obvious truth, once mastered and used, can generate a huge spiritual impetus, making the people who apply it more confident and successful.

understand others
According to the principle of similar attraction, when people have similar views, attitudes and values, they tend to like each other.When we consider issues from the standpoint of others, we will find a lot of common language with each other, thus enhancing the relationship between the two parties.

Bob is a famous test pilot who often performs aerial stunts.Once, after performing in San Diego, he was about to fly back to Los Angeles.When the plane was flying at an altitude of 3 feet, two engines failed at the same time.Thanks to Bob's quick response and proper control, the plane was able to land.Although there were no casualties, the plane was completely changed.

After an emergency landing, Bob's first job is to check the plane's fuel.Unsurprisingly, that World War II screw plane was loaded with jet fuel.

Back at the airport, Bob asked to see the maintenance mechanic.The young mechanic was already in agony over his mistake, and tears rolled down his cheeks when he saw Bob.Not only did he wreck an expensive plane, he nearly killed three people.You can imagine Bob's outrage.The pompous, exacting pilot was clearly about to throw a tantrum over the careless repair work.However, Bob did not blame the mechanic, but just put his arm around the worker's shoulder and said: "To prove that you will not make mistakes again, I want you to help me repair my F-51 plane tomorrow."

Sure enough, because of the action of the person in charge, the mechanic quickly and smoothly completed the repair work without feeling dull and troubled.

Psychological tips:

Just imagine, if there are more people like Bob in this world, how much our work efficiency will be improved!
Many thinkers have been pondering the laws of human relationship.They coincidentally found a natural law called moral immutable: "Golden Rule", that is, "Forgiveness". "Forgive" means "like the heart", which means to let us consider issues from the standpoint of others.

Let's try to understand others instead of scolding!Let's try to put ourselves in their shoes - why they did it.When we consider the problem from the standpoint of the other party, it is easy to find the hidden reason and at the same time find the key to solve the problem smoothly.

Noble personality and full of charm
Some people compare the charm of personality to the fragrance of flowers. "The wind of plum and sandalwood can please everyone." He also said: "The fragrance of flowers will not be blown away against the wind...but the fragrance of a good person can be blown against the wind, and the fragrance of a gentleman is permeating everywhere." He also said: "Taoism and morality perfume everything." Morality is the essence of personality charm, honesty is the expression of personality charm, and means and ideas are just an erratic and even annoying illusion.This is the reason why some people make friends widely, while others are ruthless;

At the end of the Western Han Dynasty, after Wang Mang usurped power, he became extravagant and dissipated, and the people were in dire straits. Heroes and peasant rebels rose up one after another to fight against Wang Mang's regime.As a result, the Wang Mang regime was overthrown.However, after the overthrow of the Wang Mang regime, all kinds of heroes fought fiercely for the throne, and one of them was led by Liu Xiu.Liu Xiu adopted the suggestion of his subordinate Pi Tong, and in the name of Da Sima, he summoned troops and recruited another 4000 elite soldiers.Ren Guang, his general, announced to the world: "Wang Lang pretended to be the Liu clan and seduced the people. He is treasonous. Grand Sima Liu Gong sent millions of troops from the east to conquer. All soldiers and civilians, who surrender, let the past go; Intolerance! Ren Guang sent cavalry to distribute this announcement to Julu and nearby places. When the common people saw the announcement, they discussed it and spread the news farther and farther. When Wang Lang’s soldiers heard it, they were all frightened, as if a catastrophe was imminent like.

Liu Xiu personally led 4000 elite soldiers and conquered several neighboring counties, and his power gradually grew.Not long after, many local leaders saw the notice and led their troops to join Liu Xiu.Liu Xiu launched an attack on Julu.

Soon, Liu Xuan also sent troops to attack Wang Lang.The two armies united together and continued to attack for more than a month, but still failed to break through Julu City.Several generals said to Liu Xiu: "Why do we need to spend so much time here? It is better to attack Handan directly. After defeating Handan and killing Wang Lang, are you afraid that Julu City will not surrender?" Liu Xiu adopted their proposal. He left some soldiers and horses to continue besieging Julu, and led the army to attack Handan, winning several victories one after another.Wang Lang's army couldn't support it anymore, so he opened the city gate and offered the city to surrender.Liu Xiu led an army into Handan and killed Wang Lang.

Liu Xiu lived in the palace built by Wang Lang in Handan, and ordered his men to check the official documents of the court.Most of these official documents were documents exchanged between officials and wealthy gentry in various counties and counties and Wang Lang.Liu Xiu didn't even look at such documents, but piled them all up on the square in front of the palace, and summoned all the officials and soldiers to burn them all in front of them.Someone reminded Liu Xiu, "Why did you burn it like this? People who oppose us are all here, and now we can't even find their names." Liu Xiu said to them, "I burned these, just I want to explain to everyone that I don't care about these past grievances, so that everyone can feel at ease and more people will support us."

Only then did the persuading people understand that if Liu Xiu didn't pursue those who had opposed him, those people would obey Liu Xiu with peace of mind and would not join the camp against Liu Xiu because they were afraid of Liu Xiu's revenge.Everyone admired Liu Xiu's foresight and broad-mindedness.Some people who opposed Liu Xiu in the past were willing to work for Liu Xiu after seeing Liu Xiu's behavior.

Cooperation cannot be maintained by command.If people accomplish cooperative tasks simply because of fear or economic insecurity, many aspects of such cooperation will be unsatisfactory.For to do so ignores the very spirit of cooperation—the willingness to cooperate—that makes the difference between success and failure.

Psychological tips:

Without moral cultivation, there will be no integrity to show others, without integrity to show others, there will be no personality charm, and without personality charm, there will be few popularity.Looking back at history, we carefully analyzed that it was precisely because Liu Xiu won the hearts of the people and received the support of more people, and finally became the founding emperor of the Eastern Han Dynasty.

Before a person can be successful, he must be respected by people with a noble personality, otherwise, he will not be able to win the cooperation of others.Sharp words, indifference to the rights and sensibilities of others, eccentricities, conscious or not,--all these vices of character will make a man less respectable, or at least less respectable.

Some people are born with the instinct to communicate with others. Whether they treat others, themselves, or the world, their behavior and speech are very natural and decent, and they can easily get the attention and love of others.But some people don't have this gift, and they have to work hard to get noticed and liked by others.But whether they are born or acquired, their result is nothing more than winning the goodwill of others, and the various ways and methods to obtain goodwill are the development of 'personality'.

Do unto others, do not impose on others
If a person always wants to impose his own will on others, obey him in everything, and act according to his opinion, after a long time, who can bear it?In the end, it must end in failure of cooperation.

The well-known Yu Chigong in "Shuo Tang" is a reckless and brave general, but he doesn't know that in the history of Tang Dynasty, he is a gentleman who is famous for his "harmony but not flow" and personality.

(End of this chapter)