David Copperfield

Chapter 7 My family has changed (2)
Chapter 3 My family has changed (2)
At the moment the sea is quiet enough to be reassuring, but I'm sure: if I see a bigger wave coming in, I'll think of her relatives who died in the water, and run away.But I said "not afraid" and added: "You don't look afraid, though you say you are"—I say this because she kept walking along the side of the old pier or gangway when we passed, I was worried that she would fall into the sea if she didn't pay attention.

"I'm not afraid at such times," said little Emily, "and when the wind blows I wake up, trembling with fear, thinking of Uncle Dan and Ham, and having no doubt heard their cries for help. So , I would very much like to be a lady. I am not afraid at such times, not at all, and look!"

We walked a long way, took to ourselves many treasures that we thought were precious, and returned some stranded starfish to the water-even now I don't know much about this kind of thing, and I don't know if they are grateful We did that, or just the opposite—and went back to Mr. Peggotty's for breakfast.

"Just two young Amis," said Mr. Peggotty.I know that in our local dialect, this is equivalent to "two young thrushes", and I took it as a compliment and gladly accepted it.

Of course I'm in love with little Emily.I have no doubt that my love for little Emily was no less true, more fervent, and more innocent and noble than that later love, which may be called the best, though sublime and great.I have no doubt that something sublimated from the vision I had of her made her an angel to me, even if on a fine morning she flew away from my eyes on her tiny wings, I No fuss either.

We used to walk, hour after hour, affectionately, on the foggy beach of Yarmouth.The days passed like this.I told Emily I was mad enough to love her, and if she didn't admit she loved me madly too, I'd have to kill myself.She says she loves me like crazy, and I'm sure of that.

Status, age, and other barriers and difficulties, little Emily and I don't feel this way at all, and we don't have this kind of distress, because all we have is the present.We don't even imagine what the future will be like, or what it would be like if we were younger.In the evening, when we sat side by side on the little chest, Mrs. Gummidge and Peggotty exclaimed: "Oh, how pretty!" Mr. Peggotty smiled at us from behind his pipe.Ham grinned all night.

I soon discovered that, though Mrs. Gummidge lived with Mr. Peggotty, she was not so harmonious as had been supposed.Mrs. Gummidge was very obstinate, and in such a cramped quarters she often sobbed, which made everyone uncomfortable.I thought it would be much more convenient for everyone if Mrs. Gummidge had a convenient room of her own to hide in, and stay there till she came out refreshed.

Mr. Peggotty used to go to a tavern called the Merry Place.He was not there the second and third night after we arrived, and Mrs. Gummidge looked up at that Dutch clock, between eight and nine, and she said he was in that place, and that she had known him in the morning. Will be there, so I know about it.

Mrs. Gummidge was unhappy all day.She had cried when the stove smoked in the morning.When that unpleasant thing happened, she said, "I am a lonely person, and everything is against me."

"Ah, the smoke is about to go away," said Peggotty--I mean our Peggotty--"and besides, the smoke isn't just annoying to you, it's annoying to us all as well." .”

"But I think it's more annoying," said Mrs. Gummidge.

It was a very cold day, with a biting wind.The place dedicated to Mrs. Gummidge before the fire seemed to me the warmest, and her chair the most comfortable.But that day didn't suit her at all.She kept complaining about the cold, which kept hitting her back.In the end, she shed tears for this, and said that she was a lonely person, and everything was against her.

"Of course it's cold," said Peggotty, "everyone feels it."

"I feel colder," said Mrs. Gummidge.

The same goes for eating.When the food was served, I was treated like an honored guest.Serve it to Mrs. Gummidge as soon as I've been served.The fish was small with lots of spines and the potatoes were a bit mushy, which we also thought was a let down.But Mrs. Gummidge said she was more disappointed than we were.She began to cry again.

So it was when Mr Peggotty came home at about nine o'clock in the evening--Mrs Gummidge always sat knitting in her place, in the most miserable misery.Peggotty had been quite merrily at his needlework.Ham mended an oversized pair of water boots.For my part, I sat with little Emily, and read to her.Mrs. Gummidge said nothing but sighed, and had not lifted her eyelids since tea-time.

"Hello, my friends," said Mr. Peggotty, as he sat down, "how are you all?"

We all said something, or made some gesture of welcome, except Mrs. Gummidge shook her head at her knitting.

"Don't be so unhappy," said Mr. Peggotty, clapping his hands, "be merry, old mother!" (Mr. Peggotty means old boy)

Mrs. Gummidge took out a black silk handkerchief and wiped her eyes; but when she was done, she kept it outside, and held it in her hand to wipe it again, and kept it outside for use.

"What's your dissatisfaction?" said Mr. Peggotty.

"Nothing," replied Mrs. Gummidge. "You're back from 'Jolly', Dan?"

"No, I sat a little while at Jolly to-night," said Mr Peggotty.

"I'm ashamed to have driven you there," said Mrs. Gummidge.

"Hurrying? I'm not being driven," said Mr. Peggotty, with a smile of sincerity. "Would I like to go there?"

"Yes, you're dying to go," said Mrs. Gummidge, shaking her head and wiping her eyes. "Yes, yes, very much. I'm sorry it's because of me that you're so anxious to be there."

"Because of you? It has nothing to do with you!" said Mr. Peggotty. "Don't think so."

"Yes, yes, it is because of me," cried Mrs. Gummidge again, "that I know what I am. I am a loner, and not only against everything, but against everyone. Yes, Yes, I feel more and act more than others. It's just my bad luck."

As I sat there watching, I couldn't help thinking: This bad fate has spread to every member of this non-Mrs. Gummidge family.But Mr Peggotty made no rebuttal, he only begged Mrs Gummidge to cheer up.

"I'm not what you want me to be," said Mrs. Gummidge. "I know what I am. My troubles make me awkward. I always feel them, and that's what makes me so awkward." I really wish I could be indifferent to those troubles, but I can't. I make this family unhappy, I make your sister unhappy all day long, and Master Wei."

Then I was softened and exclaimed very guiltyly: "No, you didn't, Mrs. Gummidge."

"I shouldn't do it," said Mrs. Gummidge. "It doesn't do any good. I'm a loner, and I'd better not be here against anybody else. If it's all against me, and I'm against myself, then Let me go back to my old parish and make trouble with it. Dan, I'd better go to the workhouse, and die, so I won't be disgusted."

Having said this, Mrs. Gummidge went to bed.When she had gone, Mr. Peggotty, devoid of emotion but deep sympathy, glanced at us all, and, still expressing genuine sympathy, nodded his head and said in a low voice:

"She was thinking of the old man."

I didn't know then who the old man was that Mrs. Gummidge was preoccupied with, until Peggotty put me to bed and she told me it was the late Mr. Gummidge.Her brother always thought it a logical reason in the circumstances, and it always moved him very much.That night, after he climbed into the hammock, I heard him keep saying to Ham, "Poor thing! She's thinking of her old man!" When he couldn't help doing it again (not many times), he always expressed his understanding with great sympathy and said such things.

Two weeks passed in a flash.The only variation was that of the tides, and this variation determined the frequency of Mr Peggotty's comings and goings, and determined how busy Ham was at work.Ham walked with us when his work was over, and showed us the boats, big and small, and took me for a row once or twice.I believe that this is the case for most people, especially when they think about childhood, they think that a certain group of ordinary impressions is more closely associated with one place than others, although I don't know why.As soon as I hear or read the word Yarmouth, I immediately think of church bells ringing on the beach on a Sunday; little Emily leaning on my shoulder; Ham throwing stones in the sky; the sun just breaking through the fog on the distant sea, showing the shadowy ships.

It's time to go home.I could bear being parted from Mr. Peggotty and Mrs. Gummidge, but leaving little Em'ly made me very sad.We went hand in hand to the hotel where the coachman lived, and on the way I promised to write her a letter (later I fulfilled my promise, and the words were bigger than the handwritten rental advertisement).I was very sad when we parted.If I've ever had any regrets in this life, I was one that day.

When I'm away as a guest, I seldom or never think about home.But as I headed home, my young conscience began to blame itself.When I was depressed, I felt that home was my nest, and my mother was my best relative and friend who comforted me.

As we made our way, the closer I felt to home and the more familiar the things I passed, the more eager I was to get back there, into her arms.But Peggotty, far from feeling it, was trying to suppress it (though kindly), and at the same time she looked disturbed and disturbed.

But no matter what she was, the porter's horse would come to Brandstone's nest if she wanted to.And it did.I still remember: it was a cold afternoon, the sky was overcast.

The door opened, and I looked for my mother with joy and excitement, half laughing and half crying.But it wasn't her, but a servant she had never seen before.

"What's the matter, Peggotty!" I was very sad. "Hasn't she come home?"

"She's back, she's back, Master Weiss," said Peggotty. "She's come home. Wait a minute, Master Weiss, I have something to tell you."

Peggotty now transformed herself into one of the queerest colored balls, from all the excitement and her usual clumsiness when she got out of the car, though I thought it too unexpected to tell her about it at the time.After she got out of the car, she pulled me and led me, who was full of doubts, into the kitchen and closed the door behind her.

"Peggotty!" said I, startled, "what's the matter?"

"Nothing, bless you, dear Young Master Wei!" She replied with a forced look of joy.

"Something must have happened, I know, where is my mother?"

"Where is mother, Master Wei?" repeated Peggotty.

"Yeah, why didn't she come out the gate, and what are we doing here then? Oh, Peggotty!" I cried, and I thought I was going to faint.

"Bless the sweet baby!" Peggotty squeezed me tightly. "What's the matter? Speak, my darling!"

"She's not dead! Oh! Peggotty, isn't she dead?"

Peggotty cried, "No!" in a loud voice, and sat down again, panting, and said I had frightened her.

I hugged her to help her recover quickly from the shock, and then stood in front of her, looking at her with anxiety and doubt.

"You know, my dear, I should have told you long ago," said Peggotty, "but I never found the right opportunity. I really should have found one, but I can't be ten winds" - in the words of Peggotty In Chinese, "ten winds" is often used instead of "ten" - "make up your mind."

"Go on, Peggotty," said I, feeling more and more afraid.

"Master Wei," said Peggotty, tremblingly undoing her hood.By this time she was out of breath.

"What do you think? You already have a dad!"

I also turned pale.Something—I don't know what or what—something related to the graves of the cemetery and the resurrection of the dead blew at me like a bad wind.

"A new one," said Peggotty.

"New?" I repeated.

Peggotty drew a breath with difficulty, then held out his hand and said:

"Come, go see him."

"I don't want to see him."

"—and your mother," said Peggotty.

I didn't draw back any more, and we came to the best parlour, and she left me.On one side of the fire was my mother, on the other was Mr Murdstone.My mother put down her sewing and stood up quickly, but I felt a little scared.

"Ah, Clara, my dear," said Mr. Murdstone, "be quiet! Be in control, always be in control! How are you, Will?"

I held out my hand to him.After a pause, I went to kiss my mother, and she kissed me and patted me on the shoulder before sitting down and continuing to work.I couldn't look at him, and I didn't dare to look at her, and I knew it: he was looking at us both.

I turned and walked to the window and looked out the window, at the grass drooping in the cold wind.

When it was time to slip, I slipped away immediately.My dear old bedroom has changed and I have to sleep far away.I wandered around to see what else remained the same, but everything seemed to have changed.I tried to go out into the yard again, but came back right away.The empty kennel in front of the door was now filled to the brim with a huge dog—a loud, black-haired dog—who saw me and jumped out in a frenzy and sprang at me.

(End of this chapter)