greatest wisdom book

Chapter 31 Success, starting from careful consideration 7
not busy with trivial matters
In life, we must know how to refuse, the most important of which is to refuse to be driven by the terrible desire in our own heart or refuse to do something for others.Some activities are unimportant, and doing them is a waste of your precious time.And the worse thing is to be busy with trivial things, which is worse than doing nothing.Being able to not be busy with trivial things, but to be busy with things that have a great relationship with your life, will benefit you immensely.

Caring about other people's thoughts and feelings is originally a manifestation of empathy, but many people care too much about other people's thoughts, and always hope to satisfy everyone when doing things, which is impossible.Demanding yourself to satisfy everyone will make you more and more tired, and you will never be happy again.

In life, people often face requests from others. If they are unwilling to accept these requests and are too embarrassed to say "no", they will put themselves in a very difficult situation; Be awkward; or pretend to agree but not do it, breaking the trust of others.These are bad practices.

Generally speaking, if possible, helping others to achieve good things is a virtue, but helping others must not be unprincipled. Faced with unreasonable and impossible things, one must learn to refuse. This is an upright approach. It is a good choice for yourself and others.However, there must be a way to refuse. If you can't be outspoken, you must know how to retreat to avoid offending others.

William II designed a warship, and he wrote in the design book: "This is the result of my years of research, long-term thinking and careful work." He asked an internationally renowned shipbuilder to appraise the design .

After a few weeks, the shipbuilder sent back his draft design with the following comments:

"Your Majesty, the warship you have designed is a warship of incomparable power, strength, and beauty. It will be unprecedentedly fast. Its weapons will be the strongest in the world. Its The mast will be the tallest in the world, and its cannons will have the furthest range. You will design the interiors of your ship to make everyone from the captain to the midshipman feel comfortable. Your magnificent warship, only One downside: when it hits the water, it sinks to the bottom of the ocean like a leaden duck."

Rejection is an art of contingency, which can save you from danger and leave room for yourself to maneuver.Find an excuse to refuse the other party, be vague, and the other party will be convinced; if you refuse bluntly, the other party will feel dissatisfied, and even hate and hate you.It is a smart person's approach to speak euphemistically and vaguely so that the other party can hear the overtones of your rejection, so that it does not hurt others and achieves the purpose of rejection.

Language is an art, and rejection is the most difficult language art to master.It is impossible not to reject others in life. If you are alienated from others because of your outspoken rejection, and even attract hatred and hostility from the other party, you will fall into isolation and siege.Everyone's will is different. No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to satisfy everyone. Therefore, tactful rejection is the best way to protect yourself and not hurt others.

US President Franklin Roosevelt held important positions in the Navy Department before becoming president.Once, a good friend of his asked him about the Navy's plan to build a submarine base on a small island in the Caribbean Sea.Roosevelt looked around mysteriously, lowered his voice and asked, "Can you keep it secret?"

"Of course."

"Then," Roosevelt looked at him with a smile, "I can too." His friend understood Roosevelt's meaning and stopped asking.

Rejecting others is easy to hurt feelings, because being rejected by others is an insurmountable hurdle in many people's hearts. If you say something carelessly, years of relationship may be wasted.Therefore, if you want to refuse others, don't refuse too hard, and never refuse completely once you refuse, in this way, people will no longer count on you. "Yes" and "no" may seem simple, but it really takes a lot of effort to say them properly.

(End of this chapter)