greatest wisdom book

Chapter 34 Open up your life and be the best social king 2
Friendship is most afraid of being destroyed by harshness
A person can always surpass others in a certain place, and there will always be someone stronger than him in this place.Learning to appreciate everyone will benefit you immensely.A wise man respects everyone, because he knows that everyone has their own strengths, and he also understands that things are not easy.A fool despises others, partly out of ignorance, partly because he always prefers the worst.

Perfection is what everyone desires, but it is impossible to achieve.You are not demanding of anything in the world, especially your family and friends around you, which can highlight your open-mindedness.

The author of the world-famous Madame Bovary is Flaubert, a French critical realist writer in the 19th century. His home is in the town of Morillo, where contemporary French writers such as Goncourt, Daudet, Maupassant, Merimee, etc. Take advantage of the places where there are frequent gatherings and discussions on Sundays.

Later, there was a new face in the living room of Flaubert's house. He was Turgenev, known as "the novelist among novelists". His novels were pure and beautiful in language and concise in structure.The work is full of poetic atmosphere and a touch of sadness, giving people endless aftertaste. After meeting Turgenev, the author of "The Last Lesson", he poured out to him his infinite admiration for his talent and character and his high appreciation for "Hunter's Notebook".

Since then, the two formed a deep friendship, and Turgenev became a frequent visitor to Flaubert's house.However, Turgenev did not change his evaluation of Dude's works because of their friendship.In his opinion, Daudet was "the most incompetent one" in their circle, but he only kept this opinion in his diary as a secret in his heart.

In 1833, Turgenev died of spinal cancer.When Dude accidentally discovered this secret, he was extremely surprised, as if he had been hit by a sap, and he said with emotion: "I always remember how gentle and warm he was at my home and at my dining table." Kissing my children so dearly, I still have countless lovely letters from him. But there is such a thought hidden under that kind smile of his. My God! How strange life is , how true is the so-called 'ruthless' word of the Greeks!"

The sudden disillusionment of friendship must have made Daudet very sad, but Turgenev's approach was not wrong.Turgenev just separated his friendship from his works. He had friendship with Daudet, but he was only dissatisfied with his works, so he wrote that in his diary.If it weren't for friendship, Turgenev might have broken up with Doude long ago and turned against each other.

Ability and talent are not the highest criteria for choosing friends. As long as you are compatible and have enough friends, these are not important.No one is perfect, no matter how good a friend is, it is impossible to satisfy you everywhere.Knowing how to put aside the shortcomings of a friend and love what he has, this is the correct way to make friends.In fact, if Daudet could regard Turgenev's actions as an encouragement to himself, he would not be so disappointed in friendship.Or, if Daudet regards Turgenev's inconsistency as a shortcoming of a friend, and tolerates or despises it, then he will still retain this hard-won friendship.

It can be seen that neither Dude nor Turgenev have broad minds as people imagined, so their friendship is facing failure.And the most lasting friendship in the world is maintained by mutual tolerance.

Perfect people do not exist. If you are dissatisfied with the people around you, it is not appropriate to let them know. After all, friendship is most afraid of being destroyed by harsh demands.If you can look at everything about the other party with tolerance and openness, it will be your wisdom.However, once your dissatisfaction is discovered by the other party, you might as well face it calmly. Perhaps your sincere criticism can be forgiven by your friends.If the other party can't bear it, it only shows that the other party's mind is not broad enough, and you can't change this fact.After all, friendship is a two-way recognition, and the one-way efforts of any party are not enough to support a gentleman's friendship.

(End of this chapter)