Left-behind women in Fuzhou

Chapter 31 Wang Jing's Story (10)
However, I still can't let go of Ah Qing, I have already regarded her as my younger sister, and we are already connected by blood.I have always stubbornly believed that it was Meiniang who sent her to my side, and it was Meiniang who asked me to take care of her, the lonely and helpless her.When I treat her well, I treat Meiniang well—the first woman in my life, the one who brought me the happiest and most beautiful Meiniang.Ah Qing is my younger sister, I have to forgive everything about her, I have to learn to forgive, and I have to learn to forget.

I think I should have a good talk with her, I have nothing now, but I will have everything in the future, and I will give her the happiness a woman hopes for.I also have a responsibility to give to her.I want to tell her that I don't have much money now, but I will do my best for her. This is the case now, and it will always be the case in the future.

I left for work very early that morning, and I was going out for an interview.Ah Qing hadn't gotten up when I went out, she was lying lazily reclined with her pillow in her arms, her two slender thighs crossed, she was sound asleep.I gently put it on the door and went to work.I figured I'd have a good talk with her when I got home at night.

The interview went very well that day, and I finished the manuscript by dusk.On my way home, I was thinking all the way, what should I say to Ah Qing, what should I do to impress her, and make her forget that hateful "returned overseas Chinese".

I opened the door and suddenly saw a note from her on the bed. She said that she had already made a choice and she was going to leave me.Going out of the house this time, she will never come back.She also said, thanks to me for taking care of her these past few months.

I stood in the room in a daze, and if I was clicked, the thing I was most worried about finally happened.She really just left, just left me like this, leaving only a cold note.I looked at her familiar handwriting on the note over and over again, tears streaming down my face.At that time, she often left a note saying "Husband, the rice is in the pot, I am on the bed", and also said "Husband, let's go shopping for underwear together after get off work".And in the end, what she left me was this content.

I'm going to find her, and I'm going to tell her what I want to say along the way.I ran down the stairs in a daze, hurriedly stopped a taxi, and went straight to Dongbai Commercial Building.

However, at the cosmetics counter, I didn't see her.The long-legged girl said that she had quit her job for three days, and she hadn't been here for three days.No one knows where she went.

I am like falling into an ice cave.

I began to believe that there is no love at all in this world. The so-called love is just a beautiful lie woven by artists.

It has been a week since I saw Ah Qing again.

For a week, I have been looking for Ah Qing every day, walking aimlessly in the streets and alleys of Fuzhou. I am hungry and have no appetite. Tell me, she must be in Fuzhou, and I will definitely find her.

I accidentally walked to a newly developed community, and I didn't expect to meet Ah Qing there.

Next to the gate of the community is a supermarket, and the entrance of the newly opened supermarket is crowded with people.I suddenly saw Ah Qing in the crowd. Her appearance and temperament made her stand out from the crowd and be easily recognized at a glance.She was smiling, the kind of little girl's coquettish smile.Beside her was the short "returned overseas Chinese". He raised his arms high and put them on Ah Qing's shoulders. His flat face was full of complacency.

They were walking out of the gate of the supermarket, and Ah Qing also saw me, and her carefully painted face was suddenly filled with consternation and embarrassment.She didn't say a word.They walked side by side to a red Bora parked in front of the supermarket, opened the door, and they got in.Ah Qing didn't look back.Bora briskly drove into the gate of the community like a gust of wind.

I stood at the gate of the community until dusk, I don't know why I still stood there, maybe I was waiting for Ah Qing to come out, Ah Qing would come out to see me, maybe I did nothing.I felt my whole body collapse, and I couldn't move half a step anymore.

The next day, I quit my job.I no longer have the interest and motivation to work.When I lost Ah Qing, I lost everything.

My second love ended without a problem.

What is love, love is a kind of use and request.It is not enough just to have love, you need money, you need sex, you need to show off, you need capital.

Human beings are actually the filthiest thing. They have attached too many irrelevant elements to love.But love at the beginning of creation was not like this, absolutely not.That's real sympathy, real love.The human mind is evolving, but the human body and love are degrading.Human beings are always flaunting their own ideals of perfection, bragging that they are "the primate of all things, the essence of the universe", human beings are always looking down on other creatures living on this planet, and always consider themselves the masters of the earth.In fact, in the eyes of other animals, human beings are nothing. There are too many filth and filth in human beings, too many tricks, hypocrisy, evil, falsehood, conspiracy, deceit... There are too many preoccupations and whimsy. Steering the rudder, obeying the positive and opposing the negative, double-faced and three-handed... But animals are not like this.They are very sincere, and they are very content. There is no money, no real estate, no cars, no division of property, no material comparison in their love. If they love, they will be together, and they will stick together forever.Humans always say that "beasts are inferior", how can animals be so dirty like humans, they are certainly not as evil as humans, and they are not as false as humans. Humans say that animals are simply defiled and insulted to animals.

Not long after I resigned, I packed my bags and came to Zhengxin Temple.

Master Huijing didn't say a word, she didn't ask me anything, she just tidied up a small living room and let me live in it.She is as kind as a mother, and she cares for me meticulously like a mother.

Zhengxin Temple is located in the deep and remote mid-mountain, and it is rare to see a few pilgrims every day.The children have also moved to the Hope Primary School at the foot of the mountain, and there are only a few old nuns left in the temple.

Living in Zhengxin Temple, I face green mountains and green waters and bright sunshine every day.Every morning, I was woken up by the sound of the masters chanting sutras. I woke up in the quiet and pious voice of singing, and when I came to the vegetarian room, I would always see the breakfast prepared by Master Huijing.At noon, I walked in the silent mountain, along the narrow slope, forded the stream, through the jungle, and I was sweating profusely.Sometimes, a gray rabbit would startle in the grass and run away in a panic; sometimes I would see a few gazelles grazing, they stopped chewing, tilted their heads and looked at me inexplicably , and then ran to the distance without haste, her plump buttocks trembling all the way.

There, I feel that I can touch the nature with my hands, and I feel like I am melting in the nature. The birdsong, the trees, the fallen leaves, the trails, and the sunshine all make me feel overwhelmed. feel kind.All these are scenes that only appear in dreams, pictures, and movies.

At night, however, solitude and loneliness come to the fore, like islands at low tide.I began to think of the two years I had spent in Fuzhou at the foot of the mountain. I reviewed my thoughts over and over again, recalling every day I spent with Meiniang and Aqing. I yelled, sweating profusely, the moonlight outside the window was like water, the shadows of the trees were whirling, the insects were chirping, and there was a lot of sound, and I seemed to have just woken up from a dream. I didn't know where I was or why I came here.But everything in Fuzhou seems like a world away.

I still can't forget my life in Fuzhou, and I still can't let go of my emotions.Love scars me all over, but I still have extravagant hopes for it.

Until one day, I saw that book.

It was a scripture, a not-so-famous scripture called the "Apollaise Book".In Zhengxin Temple, I can only see scriptures.At the foot of the mountain, I bought a lot of books, many books on literature, history and geography. I was addicted to books and loved books like my life. However, when I went up the mountain, I gave all the books to my friends.

There are many scriptures in Zhengxin Temple, which are classical Chinese books with yellowed pages and vertical characters, without punctuation. A lonely time every day.

Every afternoon, I always sit on the bluestone in front of the living room.In front of the living room is a gentle slope, and below the slope is a gurgling stream, and beside the stream is a lush forest that can't be seen at the end.Sitting on the bluestone, I looked far into the distance, and in the distance were the undulating mountains like waves hidden in the clouds and smoke.There was silence in the mountains, and the afternoon sun hit my face, giving me a warm feeling.

In this way, I read one scripture after another. At the beginning, I was out of breath and very difficult to read, but after a few books, it became very smooth, as smooth as the flowing water in a river.

What I was reading that day was the "Apolez Sutra". Like many scriptures, I don't know when it was written by an eminent monk of any generation, and I don't know when it was published. As I was reading, I suddenly came across the following sentences——

Pity me, all sentient beings are in a hurry, life in the world is like morning dew, disappearing like clouds and smoke, life is like a dream, what is the pain and what is the joy
There was a flash of lightning in my heart, illuminating the darkness that had been deposited for a long time.My hands trembled, my lips trembled, and I read it over and over again——

Pity me, all sentient beings are in a hurry, life in the world is like morning dew, disappearing like clouds and smoke, life is like a dream, what is the pain and what is the joy
Suddenly my heart became clear, like the bright moonlight shining, the moonlight shining on every dusty corner of my heart, every corner is clearly visible.I am enlightened.Life is short, the past is like smoke, I will no longer be entangled in the past, and I will no longer be emotional and sad about those past events.

I don't know how many days I have lived in Zhengxin Temple. Here, time has stopped, and my mind has returned to the original peace and tranquility of human beings.

I thought, maybe I will live here until my hair is gray, until the last moment of my life, let my body melt into the green mountains and green waters.

I don't want to be a reporter anymore, and I don't want to go down the mountain again, just like those knights who are tired of the disputes in the rivers and lakes, after that, they wash their hands and go back to the mountains and forests for the rest of their lives.

One day when I got up, I suddenly saw a layer of fallen leaves outside the window, oh, the season has come to autumn.

There is no TV, no newspapers in the temple, the temple is isolated from the outside world, and the temple is immersed in boundless silence, which has passed through thousands of years in silence.It doesn't know the outside world, and the outside world doesn't know it.

I feel that I have also cut off all ties with the mountain, and I have also melted into this great peace and emptiness that has existed since ancient times.Those unrivaled scriptures are like a flat boat, extraditing me to the other side where flowers are blooming and full of sunshine.

However, the phone rang that day, which shattered my peaceful life.

The mobile phone was called by the editor-in-chief of the "Weekly" where I used to work. He said that he is now at Guangzhou Baiyun Airport and will board the plane in 5 minutes. He is going to Kunming to run a newspaper and asked me to fly to Kunming immediately. reports.

I said nothing.

He also said that the original crew of the "Weekly" will be moving to Kunming, and they will gather in Kunming in a few days, so I can pack my luggage and report as soon as possible.

I said, let me think, let me think.

The city on the plateau is always sunny, and the colorful national culture blooms like flowers. It is the place I have longed for since I was a child.There is also "Weekly", I will always have a deep love for this newspaper in my heart, and I will always have a complex with "Weekly" in my heart.

That phone call was like a boulder thrown into my peaceful heart lake, stirring up ripples that could not be calmed down.I suddenly remembered that I am a reporter, a reporter deeply involved in life, a reporter who once took saving the suffering of the people as his own responsibility.

However, I was also reluctant to leave Zhengxin Temple, Master Huijing, and abandon this tranquility and tranquility.

That night, the phone call came again, and the editor-in-chief urged me to leave as soon as possible, and in three days I would come up with the layout plan for the cultural supplement section.He said that I will be in charge of the cultural supplement section.

I walked out of the room, looked at the vast starry sky, listened to the bursting of pines, but still couldn't make up my mind.Turning around, he saw that Master Huijing's room was still lit.

I walked into Master Huijing's room, and I told him my thoughts.Master Huijing didn't speak. Under the light, I saw her face was calm and calm.

I said, what should I do?
Master Huijing said that in the past, a farmer, a businessman, and a fugitive came to the Bodhisattva and asked him to take them in.The farmer said that his family suffered a series of accidents, his wife and children were separated, and he had no livelihood; the businessman said that his cargo was overturned by the sea, and now he has no capital; the fugitive said that he killed someone and the government was hunting him.After the Bodhisattva gave them a full meal, he handed over a vegetable field behind the temple to the farmers for farming, sent the merchants to the foot of the mountain, and handed over the fugitives to the government.Do you know why?
I shook my head.

Master Huijing said that everyone is like this, they want to come from where they come from and go to where they want to go.

I thought for a while and nodded.

The next day, I went down the mountain.

As soon as I returned to Fuzhou, I saw notices posted all over the streets and alleys, warning citizens to close doors and windows and pay attention to safety, as a typhoon is about to strike.

Walking in the turbulent flow of people, I suddenly discovered that I have never forgotten Fuzhou at the foot of the mountain, and I have never forgotten the people who come and go and pass by each other, and I have never forgotten their sufferings .I am a reporter.

To come from, to go to.I'm a reporter, so I'm supposed to dive into the bottom of life.Temples are nice, but not my place to go.

I went straight to the airport.Bought a ticket to Kunming.

Then, board the plane at the last 1 minute.

The plane started, taxiing slowly at first, then getting faster and faster, and took off into the air.I stood up and looked at Fuzhou under the plane through the blinding window. The high-rise buildings gradually became smaller and blurred, and the Minjiang River disappeared like a belt.And farther away is the vast and endless sea. The biggest typhoon in 2005 was sweeping from the sea and heading towards Fuzhou.My tears flowed down.

The plane was climbing, climbing, and after a slight tremor, the plane passed through the clouds, and the bright sun shone on the fuselage, shining silver.Fuzhou, on the other hand, has been submerged under thick clouds.I am moving away from Fuzhou step by step, and may never come back.At that moment, I suddenly thought of Mei Niang, Ah Qing, and those left-behind women living in Fuzhou.I burst into tears.

Goodbye, my Fuzhou!Goodbye, my love!Goodbye, my youthful years!
(End of this chapter)