Sadness begins with your name

Chapter 38 I love you so much

I didn't dare to take the clothes Cheng Shanan bought for me to Lin Beifeng, so I went back to the dormitory to put the things down, and then called him.

The phone doesn't work.

Cheapskate, be careful.I scolded him in my heart, and took a taxi to go to where he lived.

The temperature has dropped in the past few days, and I, wearing only a thin sweater, was so cold that I sneezed as soon as I got out of the car, I entered the community trembling with my arms folded, and when I climbed up to the third floor to the door of Lin Beifeng's house, I His hands and feet were already cold.

After ringing the doorbell for a long time, he came to open the door, and a warm breath rushed towards me. I saw the owner's puppy slipping into his arms, and kept yelling: "It's so cold, it's so cold." .”

With an awkward expression on his face, he closed the door and let me hang on him like a koala. When he walked to the balcony, living room, and kitchen, I would wrap my arms around his waist and never leave.

The noodles were cooking in the kitchen, he reached out to remove the lid of the pot, I was still sticking to his body, a gust of hot steam rushed to my face, I covered my eyes with a sound of ah, he quickly threw the lid of the pot away, and threw me Pulling it aside, he panicked, "Is it burning?"

I covered half of my face with my hands, didn't move, and didn't speak.

In a hurry, he gave up the cold war first, dragged me out of the kitchen, pressed me to sit on the sofa, and grabbed my wrist: "Put your hands down and let me see? Who told you to follow me all the time? I'm cooking noodles, you know... "

I still didn't speak, he was really anxious, he kept yelling that the injury on his eye should not be underestimated, he picked up his phone and wanted to call an ambulance.

I grabbed the phone and shook it in front of my face, and made a face at him, laughed loudly and said, "I'm lying to you, it's okay!"

"You, Baosha!" Lin Beifeng's face changed from anxious to gloomy in an instant, and he sat on the sofa with a wave of his hands, turned his head and ignored me again.

I cheekily rubbed it over, wrapped my hands around his neck, and moved my lips gently along the sides of his face, softly whispering into his ears. "Don't be angry dear, you really misunderstood me today. Cheng Shanan is my classmate in junior high school. He is blind and has to attend a very important banquet, so I let me accompany him to choose a dress. You won't be so stingy Right? Huh?" I lightly pecked his lips, "I know, dear, you care about me, that's why you're angry, right?"

"Then why didn't you tell me? Didn't you already decide that I would be angry and that I was narrow-minded?" He was still angry, but finally he was willing to talk to me.

"The situation suddenly...I..."

"If Wei Young hadn't called me and told me, I'm afraid you are still shopping in jewelry stores." He turned his face away again, staring at the lilies in the vase on the window sill that had already bloomed.

"Hehe, it really is Ye Weiyang." I let go, held back my smile and stood up, "You must believe everything she said. Forget it, I know, in your heart, I will never be as good as her."

I turned around and went out the door. The cold wind in the corridor instantly blew my newly warmed body to the bone. He didn't chase him out, maybe he was angry, or maybe he acquiesced to the facts I said.

When persuading others, we often say not to quarrel and get angry because of trivial matters.But when it really happened to me, I realized that there is a strong foundation behind those seemingly small things, it may be money, it may be jealousy, it may be dissatisfaction, it may be desire, the quarrel can be calmed down, but if the root If it is not shoveled, it will multiply again, and it will grow stronger with time, until the love world built by the two is broken and falls apart.

I never thought that the first snow would come so early.

I turned off my phone all weekend, and I slept with my head covered in my dorm room.Until the evening of Sunday, I turned on the phone, and a series of messages indicating missed calls popped up. There was only one message from Lin Beifeng, and no fewer than ten messages from Cheng Shanan.

My heart sank, I opened the glass window, and lay on the window sill to look from a distance, only to see cotton-like debris floating in the gloomy sky.

It came to the world cautiously, as if to give people a surprise, but it was afraid of disturbing them, so it slowly fell silently.

When the first snow fell, Lin Beifeng and I had an agreement.I stretched out my hand, touched those cold palms, and suddenly decided to forgive him.In fact, this quarrel was originally caused by me.

The phone rang before I was about to dial it out, and Cheng Shanan's voice was a little anxious: "Why has the phone been shut down for the past two days, what happened to you?"

"No." I said lazily.

"Not in a good mood? Still angry with him?" He asked cautiously.

I smiled, "No, we're doing well." In fact, my heart was a little sour, maybe this is the charm of love, it makes you cry and laugh, sometimes sad and sometimes happy but inextricable.

"That's good." He said lightly, "The banquet is about to start, can you do it?"

"No problem. Come and pick me up."

"Okay. Dress nicely and see you later."

After hanging up the phone, I put aside the idea of ​​calling Lin Beifeng. I stared at the phone screen and got a little annoyed. Why should I apologize first every time we quarrel?Today is the first snow, have you forgotten what he said?
I changed into that royal blue dress and put on a long down jacket. As for the necklace priced at more than 1 yuan, I put it in the box and put it in my bag. I plan to return it to Cheng Shanan when we meet at night .

There was still an hour before the banquet started, when Cheng Shanan was waiting for me downstairs in the dormitory, it was already dark.The snowflakes were dancing under the street lamp like a dream. Cheng Shanan was standing beside the car in a black fur-collared windbreaker, a thin layer of snow fell on her shiny black hair.

"It's snowing." I told him.

He reached out to hold me, with a peaceful smile on his lips: "Is it cold? Are you dressed nicely?"

I looked down at myself, "Can you imagine what a tomboy would look like in a dress?"

The two laughed together.

The dinner party was held in a five-star hotel, hosted by Cheng Shanan's father's company, and the invited guests were all business celebrities.

After entering the door and taking off the down jacket, when a large area of ​​skin on the chest, back and back was exposed in the air, I was extremely nervous, and followed Cheng Shanan timidly and dared not move forward.

"Take my arm." He whispered in his ear, "Nobody here knows you, and you don't know them, so don't be nervous."

"I'm afraid of embarrassing you."

"Follow me, talk less and smile more."

As he said, I took a deep breath and forced a stiff smile.

The banquet was a buffet style, and the huge crystal chandelier projected multicolored rays of light, and hundreds of guests were chatting and laughing.

Cheng Shanan and I served a glass of champagne each, because he had poor eyesight, we simply found a corner and stood there, but many people still took the initiative to greet him.

"Mr. Cheng."

"Good evening, Young Master Cheng."

"Mr. Cheng, why don't you go dance?"

There is a band on the right side of the banquet hall, and the waltz played by the piano and violin made many men and women dance on the dance floor.

He tilted his head and asked me, "Can you dance?"

I shook my head like a rattle, "No. I feel like being exhibited here, so uncomfortable." Cheng Shanan is the son of the boss of the organizer and the official successor of the Central Group. The surroundings have almost attracted the attention of most of the guests.

"I'm sorry. Hold on for another half an hour. After my dad's speech is over, let's go." He said, "How about going to eat something?"

"Forget it. I'm going to the bathroom."

The first time I wore this kind of tight evening dress and high heels, I walked carefully for fear of accidentally bumping into someone.But the bathroom is more than 100 meters away to the west, and it took me almost a few minutes to reach the bathroom.

He took out his phone and looked at it, it was still quiet.Snow was still falling outside the window, and I thought with some melancholy: I don't know what Lin Beifeng is doing at this time?

Standing in front of the mirror in front of the sink after going to the toilet, I hardly recognize myself in it.In front of this fair-skinned, soft-eyed woman, wearing a sapphire blue low-cut dress that reveals a bit of sexiness and nobility, is she a thin girl with short hair and stubborn eyes?

The butterfly on the left collarbone was exposed, and I told myself: Even if Cinderella turns into a princess, she will change back to her original shape at 12 o'clock.And you, from the beginning to the end, are the thin sand, the thin sand that grew up in the ups and downs, the thin sand that loves Lin Beifeng deeply.All the rich, noble, high-class, luxurious and luxurious, feasting and feasting here have nothing to do with you.

I can't lose Lin Beifeng.At this moment, I suddenly felt his uniqueness and importance to me.

I dialed the number I remembered so badly, but fortunately, he was there.

"Beifeng, where are you? I miss you very much." Holding the phone, my eyes couldn't help but feel hot.

"Bosha, are you okay? I'm out of town now...the signal on the road is not very good, what are you talking about?" He was talking on the phone vigorously, but the voice still sounded far away, and there were noisy wind noises from time to time, The sound of the car fills my ears.

"Where have you been? Out of town?!" I cried out, clenched my hand on the marble washstand into a fist and punched it, it was cold and painful.

He said: "I was on the car from Beijing to... I called you yesterday..." I didn't hear what else he said, the call was cut off, and I dialed again, there was a blind tone.

I stood blankly in front of the mirror, and the dense steam blurred the figure in the mirror. My heart seemed to be hollowed out suddenly by someone, and I didn't know what to fill it in for a moment.Disappointment, anger, and sadness seem to be all there, but they are not enough to express.

Turning out of the bathroom stupidly, his head was heavy, and he didn't pay attention to the road. He tripped over something and bumped into a lady.

She was holding the wine glass, and the red wine flowed down my shoulders into my chest. I screamed and subconsciously covered my chest.

"Why don't you have eyes..." The woman had long chestnut hair, a short red skirt, and a delicately made-up face. As soon as she uttered a sentence of scolding, she was gently pulled behind her by the male companion beside her.

He whispered to her, "Shut up."

This handsome man in a black suit and a silver-gray shirt is actually Jiang Chenxi again.

He quickly grabbed my shoulders and took me away, until he walked to a secluded place at the entrance of the banquet hall, he stopped, and I pushed his hand away vigorously.

"I want you to take care of it!"

"Yo, you're making fun of yourself again." He raised his eyebrows and smiled indifferently, and raised his chin towards Cheng Shanan who was quietly sitting at a table in front of the stage and waiting for me: "The second ancestor of the Cheng family?

"You know him?" I asked, staring at him.

"Let's just meet each other. It's just a matter of flattering each other in the mall." He lowered his head and smiled at me, his eyes full of probing meaning: "Whose girlfriend are you? Or maybe you haven't decided what you want to choose?" Who?"

I stared at him, stretched out my hand and tried to push the distance between him and me further, and said angrily: "What's the matter with you? I don't understand, why are you always staring at me? Why are you so interested in things? Sir, did I offend you?"

He probably drank alcohol, and the breath he exhaled had a faint smell of alcohol. I turned my head, not wanting to meet his gaze, but my back was pressed tightly against the wall under pressure.Jiang Chenxi supported the wall with one hand, and grabbed the hand below me that kept pushing him with the other, his deep eyes suddenly blinked a few times, and then he said casually: "You're right, I'm right You are very interested." His fiery fingers wrapped my hand tightly, and his eyes became a little blurred, "Maybe you can also consider me."

"Consider...consider what?" His approaching made me very nervous, I closed my eyes tightly, for fear that he would touch me.

"Consider choosing me."

"Jiang Chenxi, you're insane!" I couldn't take it anymore, I pushed hard, and escaped from his confinement, seeing Cheng Shanan still sitting under the stage, I picked up my skirt and ran over there quickly.

He let out a strange laugh behind him.

I was in a mess all night, sitting next to Cheng Shanan, I thought, Jiang Chenxi's female companion is not Ye Weiyang, if he said something like this to me, could it be that he broke up with Ye Weiyang?
Then Weiyang, will she...

My heart suddenly became uneasy, Lin Beifeng didn't know where he was, and I couldn't sit here for a moment.Fortunately, a tall and fat man known as Chairman Cheng spoke enthusiastically on stage, and I said to Cheng Shanan, "I'm not feeling well, can I go?"

He nodded, stood up with my support, and left the crowd quietly.

Jiang Chenxi held his wine glass and smiled deeply at me from afar.

Snow is still falling.Sitting in the warm car, Cheng Shanan reached out and grabbed my hand, put it in his palm and rubbed it slowly: "How is it, are you okay?"

"It's okay." I withdrew my hand silently.

"I didn't eat just now, why don't we find a place to eat? It's still early anyway." Cheng Shanan said.

"I'm not hungry." I was in a bad mood. If I didn't feel deeply guilty towards him, I would have lost my temper impatiently.

Cheng Shanan asked the driver to drive, and he said, "But, I'm hungry. You won't stay with me, will you?"

I... accompany.

What I owe you in this life, Cheng Shanan, I told myself, I will try my best to do whatever you ask, except for betraying Lin Beifeng.

While eating at a restaurant called "Old Kam Kee", Lin Beifeng called.I said sorry, bowed my head and walked out of the store to answer the phone.

The snowflakes have grown from small to large, falling layer by layer, and soon covered my hair and clothes.

"I'm in Hangzhou." He said, "Yesterday, what did you do? The phone has been turned off. An aunt in my hometown is critically ill, and my parents can't make it back in Gansu, so I came first...Honey, what are you doing now?"

He went to Hangzhou, thousands of miles away.My voice lowered: "I'm eating outside."

"Oh, alone?"

"Hmm." After thinking about it for a while, I still lied to him.

"Oh, then you can eat. It depends on the situation and I'll go back after finishing the matter here. If it's okay, I'll hang up..."

"Lin Beifeng!" I called to stop him. "Today, it's snowing in Beijing." You promised me to be with me this day, but you forgot all of it?

"Baosha--" Cheng Shanan's voice suddenly came over clearly and loudly, and he heard it from the other end, Lin Beifeng was alert: "Who are you with?"

"No...no." I turned around and waved to Cheng Shanan again and again, but forgot that he was blind and couldn't see.

"Baosha." His voice cooled down, "What worries me the most is not that you fall in love with someone else. It's that you lied to me." Then he hung up the phone with a snap.

The first snow, how can it be so cold.My whole body was almost as if I had just been fished out of the ice cellar. The sadness in my heart slowly poured into a river, slowly soaking my eyes. I squatted down on the thick white snow and cried silently.

"Thin sand, thin sand!" He called me one after another. He was not wearing sunglasses, and his delicate face was full of anxiety and bewilderment. down jacket.

"I'm here." I choked my throat and responded hoarsely.

He heard it, and walked towards me gropingly. The snow was slippery. As a blind man, he had a hard time walking, but at this moment, I was filled with countless grievances, but I was powerless to walk over to help him.

Finally, he walked up to me, groped to find me with both hands, and said distressedly: "It's so cold outside, what are you doing?"

The tears on his face wet his fingers, he bent down and said softly: "Baosha, are you crying?"

I threw myself into his arms, crying loudly.

In the snow, in his arms, I cried hard, crying desperately, as if there were endless sadness and grievances in my heart. After so many years, I have survived all the pain and pain alone, and my heart Knowing that tears are the most useless thing, all you can do is to be an independent, strong, proud and outstanding thin sand.

However, in love, I am a mess.Facing Lin Beifeng, I was in a mess.He turned me into the most ordinary woman, a little woman who can cry, laugh, love, hate and be jealous, an ordinary person like any woman in the world who fell into the river of love.

What's frightening is that this change is invisible, it has been deeply planted in my body since the day Lin Beifeng and I were together, I can't get rid of it, and I'm even proud of it.And when I suddenly realized at a certain moment, I was uneasy and afraid, I struggled and resisted, but watched the original self gradually go away powerlessly.

I lost myself in Lin Beifeng's love.

Cheng Shanan called my name over and over again, patted my back, he wrapped me tightly with a down jacket, hugged me, and said, "Baosha, good boy. We won't cry."

When the tears almost melted the snow under my feet, I finally stopped crying and dragged my numb body and Cheng Shanan back to the shop.

I said: "I want to drink." I want to drink a lot of wine, I want to get drunk, I know that Lin Beifeng hates me drinking, when I get drunk, he will definitely run to me, and then curse me take away.

But Cheng Shanan won't refuse me, just like I can't refuse his request.He said softly, "Okay."

That night, I managed to get myself drunk.I don't know what kind of wine I drank, nor how much I drank. The only thing I can be sure of is that Cheng Shanan asked me where I would stay at night, and I reported the address of Lin Beifeng's home.

"Lin Beifeng. Lin Beifeng." I remember, I called his name, when the man with warm arms sent me to the door, I hugged his neck and kissed him deeply, I murmured Said: "Lin Beifeng, I love you." I love you so much, in this life and in this life, the love is endless.

(End of this chapter)