Traitor Concubine Growth Manual

Chapter 146

Chu Yan slept drowsily for a day and a night, during which time she had a long dream.

She dreamed that when she was 17 years old in the college entrance examination, her father had colon cancer. She wrote piles of questions in the hospital every day, and when she looked back, she could always see her father who was disappearing day by day smiling at her.

At that time, she could always see people around her looking at her with pity and indifference, as if she was the most unfortunate person in the world.

She was afraid of that look, because under such pressure, she always felt that she was inferior, so during the days when her father was dying, she lost weight at the same speed.

Because it was an advanced stage of bowel cancer, it took less than half a year from the discovery of the disease to the death of my father.

On the day of the burial, she stood in the funeral parlor in a black dress, watching those familiar and unfamiliar faces who all came to the funeral with sad expressions, turned around, smiled and drove away as if nothing had happened.

Even my father's brothers and sisters didn't feel sad for too long. On the night of the vigil, a group of people played cards and rubbed mahjong, which was very lively.

Chu Yan sat alone at the door, the spring wind blowing on her body, but it carried the biting chill unique to winter.

Later, my uncle told her that those who have left have already left, and those who are alive must of course live with this hope.

But Chu Yan was unable to ask whether the person who left really wanted the living to live on as if nothing had happened, as if he had completely forgotten that there was a person who really existed in his life, just like his death Doesn't have any effect on anything.

From then on, Chu Yan became very afraid of death, not because she was afraid of death itself, but because she was afraid that everyone would forget about herself after she died, as if she had never been in this world.

When she woke up, she heard the cry of the baby. The nanny walked to the bedside and held the baby to show her. She reached out and touched the baby's face. The strange feeling made her palpitate.

So soft, so fragile, but this is her child, her and Gu Qi's child.

For some reason, only the Queen Mother was left in the room, Rong Zhen and Zhao Ronghua both went back.

A smile floated on Chu Yan's face, and she said in a low voice: "If the emperor knows that he is a little prince, he will be very happy."

The room was silent for a moment, Han Zhi and Dong Yi who were packing the baby's clothes suddenly stopped their movements, and the nanny didn't speak. Chu Yan suddenly noticed the stagnation of the atmosphere, and raised her head to look at the Queen Mother in puzzlement.

For the first time ever, that calm and gentle woman did not give her a smile, but just looked at her with a strange gaze, hazy and gentle, helpless and sad.

Chu Yan read the word "mercy" from it, and suddenly a chill came from her heart, and then the whole person was plunged into darkness.

She couldn't be more clear about the meaning of such eyes.

Standing in front of the funeral home for so long that day, everyone who came to mourn her looked at her like this, as if the sorrow and disaster of the whole world had fallen on her head alone.

That day, her father left her.

Chu Yan suddenly felt a little out of breath, grabbed the sheet under her body with both hands, and slowly closed her eyes.

Is he dead?

Probably really dead, never to wake up again.

There is such a ridiculous thing in the world. On the day their child was born, the child's father died suddenly.

Chu Yan suddenly remembered the song "Xie Chi Chun" by Li Zhiyi that she had read in the study in the spring day when she was just crowned as the crown princess:
The remaining cold is exhausted, after the rain has passed, and after the Qingming Festival.The flower diameter gathers the remaining red, and the wind marshes linger on new wrinkles.The milk swallows wear the courtyard, and the flying catkins stick to the sleeves.

At the right time, it is still late in the day.The taste is really as strong as wine.

The frequency shifts the eyes, the empty is empty, tired and thin.Lovesickness after not seeing each other, but still the same after seeing each other.In order to meet each other frequently, why does it seem to stay together forever?

The sky is not old, and people are not married.And distribute this hatred to Willow in front of the court.

At that time, Gu Qi followed the words touched by her fingertips and read out: "I miss you when you don't see them, and you still remain the same after seeing each other. We meet each other frequently, why do we stay together forever?"

His voice is low and mellow, without too much emotion, but it has a special meaning.She raised her head to meet his gaze, but only saw a pair of gentle and clear eyes like a clear spring.

After all, we have reached this point, and we will never see each other again.

Chu Yan laughed softly, but it's a pity that she never said lovesickness from the beginning to the end, so what's the point of staying together?
She was free, and her son was born. As long as the Supreme Emperor returns to power, when her son grows up, she will still be a glorious queen mother.

It's just that if she counts her fingers, her time as queen is really short-lived.

The queen mother is such a smart person, she could tell at a glance what Chu Yan had understood, walked to her side and bent down, smoothed the messy hair around her ears, and said softly: "Don't think too much, everything is just right." It's over."

Chu Yan nodded numbly, opened her eyes and looked at her with clear eyes.

"I know, I still have a child, even for him, I will cheer up."

She felt that every word she said was like a cliché, but she wasn't that sad because she was just acting from the beginning to the end, so even if Gu Qi died today, it didn't have much to do with her.

It was as if her colleague left, she was a little sad at best, not sad.

But there was an empty place in the bottom of her heart, as if something was lost in an instant, Chu Yan breathed with difficulty, but felt her eyes were a little sore.

In the end, he missed the person who stood unwaveringly in front of her to shield her from the wind and rain, protect her and allow her to squander the love he gave.

She remembered the night he found him in Jiangzhou. His Highness the Crown Prince who had passed her by and disappeared into the crowd stood quietly in front of her. Only, the eyes were tense for too long and finally relieved, and the thin lips were finally smiling.

He breathed a long sigh of relief, and said softly, "Finally found you."

Hot tears rolled down from the corners of his eyes, soaking the pillow.

She remembered that she had also been separated from him by the Mo River in the capital, and when she had been searching for her for a long time but failed, he also accurately walked through the search, and then held her hand firmly.

At that time, she asked him so hypocritically a sentence that seemed to be said by many heroines in romantic dramas: "No matter when and where, will Your Highness find me so easily in the crowd?"

And Gu Qi buried her face in his arms, and only said one word clearly and firmly, "Yes."

He was once the proud son of heaven that everyone looked up to, but she could only stand in the crowd and watch him from afar, watching him go from a childish young man with a weak crown to suffering, and finally grow into the calm king with a firm face today, She accompanied him to grow up with a heart that had been tempered and matured by time, and also accompanied him to become strong.

Now, he finally caught up with her and left her forever.

Tears dripped into her hair along the strands of her hair, and even her scalp was stained with hot tears. Chu Yan had never realized so clearly that she had unknowingly regarded Gu Qi as a must in her life. An indispensable person, so many memories have him involved, how to forcibly separate them?

The queen mother gently stroked her black hair with her hand, even bent over to hug her, and patted her on the back: "Be good, don't cry."

But no one is him, and no one will say to her in that humble voice that is in the dust when she is crying: "I was wrong, I was late. Cry, open your eyes and see if you have cried enough. I'm really not relieved, I want you to slap me a few times in front of everyone, or just chop me with a knife..."

Chu Yan was finally buried in the arms of the queen mother, and could no longer restrain herself from sobbing.

I don’t know when a magpie flew over the branch in the cold winter, chirping happily, and the heavy mountain at the door walked a few steps quickly, scaring it a few times, and the magpie spread its wings again, and flew away with a whoosh.

After fighting for more than half a year, I saw that the battle was finally coming to an end.

Prince Gong and Zhuo Ding'an respectively led troops to encircle and suppress the enemy army. In the ice and snow, the black army was in stark contrast to the pure white grassland. The blood spread in the pure white snow and ice, like a tragic and gorgeous picture scroll.

The roar of the soldiers shook the heavens and the earth, blood stained the ground without hesitation, soldiers and iron horses trod every inch of the territory, and the red-eyed people could no longer tell whether the fallen ones were enemies or comrades-in-arms.

The emperor passed away and died at the hands of the enemy. Every Xuan Dynasty soldier felt grief and pain in his heart.

These days, they ate and lived with Gu Qi. Gu Qi not only respected everyone, but also cherished the life of every soldier.

If you have a king like this, what do the people want.

Because Xiao Che drew the arrow without authorization and caused the death of the emperor, he committed suicide and apologized. Now the biggest generals on the battlefield are Zhuo Ding'an and Prince Gong.

It's just that Prince Gong seemed to be more fearless than before, sitting on the horse and relentlessly killing the enemy and defending the country, every blow was clean and deadly.He is like a sharp sword out of its sheath, and wherever it goes, it will kill people, which is frightening.

Xijiang and Rouran retreated steadily. In the barracks behind, General Yunhui looked at the distant battlefield expressionlessly. It seemed that he could feel a strong smell of blood from such a long distance.

Suddenly a goshawk flew by overhead, circling in circles in the sky, screaming mournfully, she looked up, but only saw red silk cloth tied around the goshawk's legs.

Her face froze suddenly, she seemed to have seen something terrible, and her whole body trembled.But the goshawk croaked again for some reason, and quickly flew towards the woods.

After regaining consciousness, her complexion changed drastically, and she quickly mounted her war horse and chased into the woods.

"General?" The third prince called her in a daze, but she ignored her and ran into the forest without looking back.

Her heartbeat had stopped long ago when she saw the red silk cloth on the eagle's legs, there was the whistling wind in her ears, and the piercing cold wind on her face, but she didn't seem to notice it, and just chased the goshawk in the sky wholeheartedly.

This forest was originally a dense old forest, with rocks and snow all the way, and the horseshoes kept slipping.She kept shaking the rein to urge the horse to go fast, and finally fell down with the horse at a place where the roots of the tree circled and protruded. The horse fell so hard that it threw her out and rolled a long way .

The bones all over her body were about to fall apart, and her face was also scratched by the stones, and hot blood slid down and dripped on the snow.Her hands were unbearably cold, and her palms must have been scratched, but she didn't have time to pay attention to these, she just raised her head to look at the eagle in a daze.

The sky is gray and white, and there is nothing but bare branches.

The general who had led the army to fight bravely against the numerous Xuan Dynasty troops all the way suddenly buried his face in the ice and snow, and sobbed a few times in a very low and depressive way.

Blood and hot tears slid down the snow, and I don't know which temperature melted the shattered ice under his face.

She blurted out a few words: "Gu Zhi...Gu Zhi...."

A pair of black boots stepped on the snow without a sound and appeared in front of her. Amidst her nasal weeping, the man finally knelt down gently and said helplessly, "Without me Now, you always put yourself in such a mess."

The goshawk appeared on the bare branch at one side at some point, and roared twice at the top of its voice.

The man turned his head and said dissatisfiedly: "Shut up."

Goshawk had a spirit, as if he understood it, he closed his mouth obediently.

The person lying on the snow trembled all over, and raised his head in disbelief, only to see Gu Zhi looking at her helplessly and tenderly, his eyes the same as before.

"Yu Jiuduo, please stay safe."

(End of this chapter)