the most beautiful time

Chapter 18 Jealousy Was So Beautiful (1)

In the winter of the last semester of freshman year, we started a one-month military training.At that time, we had just sorted out the life of the university from a mass of novelty and chaos, so the arrival of those heroic instructors just made us full of romance and passion, gushing out enthusiastically.

There are sixteen girls in our company.Except for the 8 people in our dormitory, there are girls from other classes in the dormitory opposite.Between training sessions, we often automatically form two proud teams, doing their own thing and ignoring each other.The instructor who led us, with a thick face and a shy expression, would get nervous and shout the wrong slogan when he saw us all looking over us.The boys just smiled kindly, but we girls are getting more and more presumptuous; but everyone can see that this infinite indulgence is actually full of shyness and admiration.Is there anything else that can project a more charming luster in our tender hearts than a mature and dreamy soldier?
We like to surround the instructor who is quietly standing aside when the boys are slacking off, pester him to sing, and ask him to joke.He was only 23 years old at the time, and when he saw so many girls with bright eyes and pure smiles expressing their love and love for him unabashedly, he was always a little flustered and flipped over us with his hands. The catalog of the songs handed over, the line of sight, but in the sound of chirping, I couldn't find a place to settle down safely.Except for the songs of a few military camps, he has always refused to show his voice in front of us, but what does it matter, we will sing to him the beautiful songs we have learned newly.We will also choreograph dynamic dances and show them to him.The 8 girls in the dormitory seem to have become multi-talented overnight.And the girls in the opposite dormitory, whom we call the enemy party, were not far behind, and lost no time in wooing the instructor, and even bought colored paper and flowers for a routine dormitory inspection by the instructor, and repacked the dormitory.

The instructor didn't know about such a competition.He takes great care of each of us.Although boys often say that he prefers us girls who scream pain at every turn, how can they understand that we give far more than what they see.Behind those singing and dancing, what is concealed is a kind of silent contest and mental torture.The sweetness and sadness in youth are actually in this form, after the curtain of the university is opened, it is slowly displayed in front of us.We remember that the instructor said that he likes to drink hot Dahongpao, and the girls who live in the local area will do everything possible to beg their parents to buy the best tea and send it to his residence.We knew that he liked to listen to Faye Wong's songs, so we ran all over the town to buy Faye Wong's latest album, signed the names of the eight of us, and gave it to him to listen to.And the enemy party that we have always despised is not idle. They wrote poems to the radio station to praise the instructor. They dressed up in the moment of leisure when they did not need to wear military uniforms, just to give him the brightest glimpse.They even used the trick of being sick, because in this way, the instructor would step into the dormitory, nurse and greet, and accompany them to chat endlessly.

The two dormitories have become enemies who never get in touch with each other.No one thought about whether this war was meaningful.We are just stubbornly guarding a love that we do not want to share with outsiders, and the inherent jealousy in youth.Yes, it is jealousy that makes us intolerable. There will be another group of beautiful and ostentatious girls competing for the instructor's unbiased care.It was also jealousy, which suddenly made us very angry, seeing how stupid and ridiculous we were in the eyes of the enemy.The little friction kept coming and going, like that weak spark, flickering on and off, thinking it was insignificant, but finally detonated the angry firecracker in my heart with a bang.

I remember that the training was temporarily interrupted because of the heavy snow that day.We happily bought a lot of snacks and planned to invite the instructors to the dormitory for a small party.The instructor hesitated for a while on the phone, but still agreed.As if we have won a battle, we are eager to show our success to everyone, especially the enemy parties at the opposite door.So the dormitory was opened wide, and Faye Wong's song on the tape recorder was adjusted to the loudest.We thought the enemy party would be sad and angry, but we didn't expect that they also opened the door with a bang.What we saw was almost exactly the same warm scene.

The instructor's footsteps sounded quickly at the stairs, and a few seconds later, he stood in the corridor between the two dormitories, suddenly not knowing which door to enter.It was our head of the dormitory who said softly: Instructor, today is the first birthday of our dormitory girl in college, you must accompany us from the beginning to the end.The instructor smiled and said, "Then you two dormitories together to celebrate, wouldn't it be better, and it wouldn't be in vain for you to have a military training together."The head of the house said again softly: How can we do that, at this birthday party, we promised that the little girl will only let the closest people congratulate her.Finally, the instructor apologized to the enemy party in this gentle pleading, turned around and walked into our dormitory.The moment I closed the door ecstatically, I heard the sound of something being thrown from the opposite side.

It was just a lie from the head of the dormitory, and the two of us in the dormitory formed a deep resentment ever since.Moreover, even when the instructor said goodbye later and asked us to promise him to be friendly to each other, the estrangement and resentment in it still lingered for a long time; No contradiction, a little bit of expansion.

When it was time for graduation, the whole department was taking a group photo, and inadvertently got close to a girl who hadn't seen him for a long time.The moment our fingers accidentally touched each other, we looked at each other, and then suddenly bent over with a smile in the other's unreasonable apology.No one knows why we laugh, only we understand that the battle that made our hearts hurt three years ago, looking back at the past now, is full of warm footprints of time.

Who once said that if military training starts at the time of graduation, then the sadness, jealousy, madness, and joy we have had may all be weakened one by one.Because, at this time, we have already learned how to abandon the frivolity and vanity of youth, and know how to show off and show off in youth, but in fact, it is just a gorgeous coat.

However, even if youth is over, who can deny that you have never gone through such crazy jealousy, and you are so attached to it?

On the subway bound for Beijing Railway Station, I met them.

She was the first to notice her, a rural girl who was only eighteen or nineteen years old, with a big package that almost occupied the positions of several people.It is the peak time of get off work, and the human heart, in the daytime rush, is like a football that has been kicked and scarred. It has already lost its patience, so any external friction will be like a needle, and the inside will swell. The gas, all vented out with a bang.I don't know who, someone stepped on her foot, yelled cursingly, and a foot that was about to be stomped happened to step on the girl's woven bag.Like a little beast that was rushing from left to right and finally found the exit, the man who was extremely angry kicked the woven bag that was stuffy on the ground viciously, and cursed: "What is in this bag of yours?" What's the matter with the living, occupying such a large space? !There is no charge for luggage, and you can’t be so ostentatious, just move your whole family to the Beijing subway!

The eyes of the people around, in this shout, all looked over indifferently.It’s like watching a movie that has nothing to do with you, no matter how humbly the girl in the corner bows her head and admits her mistake, and says sorry in a low voice, the spectators are as usual kowtowing sunflower seeds, sipping milkshakes, and chewing candy piece.But there are also some people, in the girl's embarrassment, cast a white eye in disdain, then turn their faces away, and continue to look at the scenery that is sliding past the window.

No one noticed the girl's eyes blushed silently.She stuck her luggage tightly to the wall of the carriage, and herself, like a vine, attached to the luggage bag with the smallest space.Although she tried her best to turn her face away so that I, who was opposite me, could not see her tears, I could still see the scars in her heart from her shrugging shoulders.I suddenly felt a little sympathy for her at that moment, I really wanted to go over, pat her thin arms, and tell her, don’t care about those indifferent city people, maybe their own lives are also burdened by the burden of life, There is almost no chance to breathe, otherwise, they would not be so anxious and violent; maybe they have a more embarrassing core than your poverty, but they will not be so easily peeped by others like your fuzzy clothes arrive.

(End of this chapter)