strange i love you

Chapter 18 The stars in the sky don't speak (3)
Lin Youxi walked back slowly with the business card in her pocket, until the students in blue school uniforms rushed out on the street after school, when the street lights were turned on, and when the food stalls on both sides set up tables and chairs to start business, she also I don't know how long I walked.Although the journey was less than 10 minutes away, she walked for nearly an hour.Because of the long detour, Lin Youxi walked the street along the river from beginning to end.In the past, Qin Zhihao and Qin would sometimes go for a walk along the river, but they never really finished the walk.At that time, I thought, anyway, there is still more time in the future, so don’t worry, take your time, and one day they can finish it slowly.

Standing by the river, Lin Youxi was so cold that the wind blew over her nose.He stretched out his hand and wiped it randomly, anyway, she has no image at all now, she has already broken the jar.The wind by the river calmed down her thoughts. Looking at the vast river, Lin Youxi asked herself in her heart, where is the way out in the future?

At this moment, Lin Youxi was even more confused than after graduating from college, at least there was someone by her side at that time.Now, alone, without even a haven of escape.

Lin Youxi didn't expect Qin Zhihao to appear downstairs in the rental house. He seemed to have been waiting for a long time, and was so cold that he kept stomping on the spot.

"Youxi?" When Qin Zhihao came to his senses, his surprise was beyond words.He looked at Lin Youxi in disbelief, how could he become like this?
Lin Youxi took a few steps back, nodded slightly and squeezed out her double chin: "How did you find this place?" In fact, she already knew who it was without thinking about it, except Lu Li.

"Let's talk." Qin Zhihao took a few steps closer to Lin Youxi, "Things are not what you think."

"I do not want to hear."

"She made a fuss about committing suicide and I went there. I was afraid that something might happen. It was my fault. I didn't want to make the same mistake again." Qin Zhihao sighed deeply, and stretched out his hand to Lin Youxi ,"Let's go back."

Lin Youxi stared at that hand for a while. That hand once held her through six years of her youth, that hand once played the guitar for her, and that hand also cooked soup and tucked in her quilt for her. , that hand has done so many things for her, wiped tears, touched hair.But now Lin Youxi no longer has the courage to reach out and hold it.

Lin Youxi sniffled, glanced at the streetlight behind Qin Zhihao, and said in a hoarse voice: "Can you stop deceiving yourself? I used to think that the relationship would get better after repairing it. I thought we could really start over. But the facts proved that I was wrong. I should have realized it when you were with that girl, I was stupid..."

"Youxi." Qin Zhihao wanted to come and hug her, but was pushed away by Lin Youxi, he went over again, but was still pushed away, after being pushed away five or six times in a row, he finally stood still and stopped moving .With a look of helplessness on his face, he stared blankly at Lin Youxi and said, "Forgive me."

Lin Youxi turned her head away and ignored him.Suddenly she thought of something, reached out to wipe her eyes, and said, "As for our engagement, forget it."

"Do you know what you are talking about?"

"I've never been so sober!"

"We even bought the house, and the family is ready for the engagement. I didn't do anything wrong this time, why did you treat me like this?" Qin Zhihao was anxious, "I really have nothing to do with her, we are all going to get married Yes, we have been together for six years, and we are just short of the last step, why should we give up?"

"Qin Zhihao, don't you understand by now?" Lin Youxi became impatient, "Do you think everything will be resolved when we get married? Marriage should not be the purpose of love, it is the purpose of two people loving each other Crystallization. If there is no love anymore, what's the point of two people barely maintaining each other?"

"We've been together for six years." Qin Zhihao murmured, but it was more like talking to himself.

Lin Youxi bypassed Qin Zhihao and walked towards home. When she passed him by, she said, "I wish you happiness."

I really wish him happiness.At this moment, Lin Youxi's heart was extremely calm, without any resentment, without the slightest disturbance, she really hoped that he would be happy.Although this man who had been with her for six years exhausted all her youth and affection to love, she did not regret it.

Thanks to him for letting me learn to love and learn to distinguish right from wrong in relationships. The setbacks I have experienced will eventually become armor in the years to come to resist the same injuries.What is lost here is made up for elsewhere.

Lin Youxi didn't go home for the New Year, and she hasn't told her parents about her breakup with Qin Zhihao.The new house was given over to Qin Zhihao for the time being, but he found Lin Youxi a single apartment, and paid a one-year deposit and a quarter's rent with his own money.On the day they parted, the two even had a peaceful lunch.In the small shop downstairs, one bowl of beef noodles per person.

Out of habit, Qin Zhihao put the coriander in Lin Youxi's bowl into his own bowl as soon as the noodles were served.Then they reacted, and both of them were a little embarrassed.Qin Zhihao coughed twice and said, "Have you settled down with your work?"

"A colleague in the previous company wanted to open his own studio after the next year, and I planned to go to his place."

"What are you going to do about the house?" Qin Zhihao poured some hot sauce into the bowl, "I thought about it, one is that we sell it and divide up the money. Another way is to transfer the house Go to the name of one of them, and get the money from the one without the house.”

"I also can."

"My parents, I've already told you." Qin Zhihao paused, lowered his eyes, "They also think it's a pity that you can't be their daughter-in-law."

"Didn't you say that the invitations have been sent out?"

"Ha, it's okay, at most it will be discussed by relatives and neighbors for a while, and no one will remember after a while. But you, your parents—"

"I don't want to tell them yet. If I let them know about my current situation, they will be worried to death. So, if they call you, don't let it slip."

"Ah."

"I won't go home during the Spring Festival, but I will go back to my parents' house with you. Remember, don't reveal your secrets." Lin Youxi reminded her again and again.

"I know."

Coming out of the noodle shop, Lin Youxi was the first to turn around and wave "goodbye" to him, then turned around and walked into the street.Qin Zhihao stood at the door and left slowly after seeing her disappear.

One step, two steps, heavy footsteps knocked on the concrete road.Qin Zhihao stopped, and tapped lightly on the cement road with his toes.This is the last farewell.

This is the first time in the few years after graduating from university that Lin Youxi did not go home for the New Year.Before Chinese New Year, she and Qin Zhihao each went back to their own homes, only the two of them went to each other's homes during college.But they are all only children. If they don't go back during the Chinese New Year, the family will look deserted.

After calling my parents, I told them not to go back for the New Year.Lin Youxi's parents thought she had gone home with Qin Zhihao, so they told her to be sweet-mouthed when she saw her uncle and aunt, and remember to bring gifts and various etiquettes when going to other people's homes.Lin Youxi agreed with a "hmmm", feeling sore in her heart.This New Year's Eve, she was going to stay alone in the apartment alone.

Lu Li went home a few days ago. She originally planned to stay with Lin Youxi, but something happened at home and she had to rush back.So she was left alone to face New Year's Eve.

Really too lazy to bother, on New Year's Eve, Lin Youxi dismissed herself with a hot pot meal.The base material bought in the supermarket, put all the fish, meat and vegetables in the refrigerator into a large pot and cook it.In the past, Lin Youxi had a small appetite and could never eat a few bites, but this time she ate up the whole pot, and she added noodles to the remaining hot pot base, which tasted super delicious.While watching the Spring Festival Gala while eating, Lin Youxi burst into tears again when she saw the familiar hosts on the screen passionately saying New Year greetings.

It was approaching twelve o'clock, and there was the sound of "crackling" fireworks outside the window.I remember that when she was a child, she always liked to buy the seemingly safest fairy sticks with her friends, holding one in each hand, and the ignited fireworks "cracked" and beautiful little fireworks bloomed in the air.It's all childhood memories.Lin Youxi wrapped her clothes and stood by the railing of the roof, watching the fireworks in the distance, she wondered how she became an adult?
The bits and pieces of childhood seemed like a big dream, but now thinking about it, it feels unreal and far away.The phone in my pocket rang, it was a text message of New Year greetings.Lu Li, a former classmate and friend, had so many colleagues in the company in the past, but Zheng Tao was the only one who sent blessings.Lin Youxi felt that she had really failed. The work experience in those years seemed to be a nightmare. How could it become like this?In the past, she always complained that her colleagues in the company were snobbish and slick, complained about unfairness, complained that her efforts were not rewarded, complained about this and that, but now that she thinks about it, she actually did something wrong.Lin Youxi realized that she was too impulsive and cowardly, and realized that she was no longer a child, and someone would protect you even if you ordered a fairy stick.You have grown up, complaining about the unfairness of society is actually because your heart has not grown enough to adapt.

Clusters of fireworks rose, bloomed, and disappeared.In this vast and boundless world, Lin Youxi finally understands the true meaning of loneliness.But life is a lonely journey. You have to go on by yourself. The person you thought would accompany you forever may just stay with you in the car for a while. Don’t blame them, but thank them for the happiness they bring to you. and memory.Then without hesitation, don't look back, go on.

Lin Youxi made up her mind to start over, find a job again, work hard to save money again, and fall in love again.If there is nothing left, start over again.What are you afraid of? She is only in her twenties. Think about Sun Wukong, who lived under Wuzhi Mountain for 500 years before meeting Tang Monk to learn Buddhist scriptures. Think about Taigong Jiang, who met King Wen of Zhou at the age of 80. Think about Ma Yun, think Think of Alice Munro, a whole host of examples can be cited.But the most important thing to do now is to lose weight!

Lin Youxi made a lot of determination and did a lot of psychological training for herself. Anyway, she was so thin before, even if she gained weight, she could be regarded as slightly fat at most, although she could clearly see a double chin when she looked in the mirror.Lin Youxi put on a hat and went out. After finding a pharmacy with weighing scales, she hesitated for a while before mustering the courage to go in.

Instead of standing directly on the weighing scale, she walked into the pharmacy and pretended to buy medicine, but the clerk came to ask what medicine she wanted.Lin Youxi covered her mouth and pretended to cough a few times, then said, "Is there any cold medicine?"

She almost walked out after paying the bill, she felt so ashamed.When I used to be thin, I thought it was a normal thing to go on the weighing scale, but now I feel that my feet are tied with heavy stones.Seeing that she was about to walk out of the pharmacy, she turned around and jumped on the weighing scale, ignoring other people's eyes!Yes, it was a jump. The pointer of the weighing scale turned a big circle at once, and the clerk was shocked, for fear that the scale would be scrapped.When the pointer turned to a certain number and stopped, Lin Youxi gasped when she saw that the pointer was pointing to "60".

She resentfully got off the weighing scale, and then wobbled towards the outside.When she got home, she immediately threw all the leftover chocolates into the trash can, as well as biscuits and instant noodles.She searched a lot of ways to lose weight on the Internet, and finally planned to eat only apples for the rest of the week, eating three apples a day, one for each meal.Then Lin Youxi started her difficult journey to lose weight.

On the first day, she was so hungry that she lay on the bed and did nothing. Her mind was full of images of stewed chicken legs, pastrami, shredded squid, stewed pork rice, and fat intestines, and her heart, liver, spleen, lungs and kidneys were all trembling.The mobile phone is just a dozen centimeters away from the pillow, as long as you take it and make a call for takeaway, these can be delivered to your door.

What's the use of losing weight?Anyway, I don't have a boyfriend, so who can I show if I lose weight?Looking around on the street now, everyone is as thin as a hemp stalk, but the fat man seems to have personality.Life is short, if you can't even enjoy what you like to eat, what's the point of living.What's the point of life without food!Lin Youxi comforted herself in her heart. Just when she was about to fall short, the figure of the girl who was with Qin Zhihao suddenly flashed in her mind. Although she knew that Qin Zhihao broke up with her not because that girl was prettier than herself, but she lost If you don't lose, you can't make people laugh at you no matter what!So the first day passed like this.

On the second day, she ate all three apples in the morning, and she was hungry again at noon.Who made her overeat during that time to stretch her stomach, and of course a few apples couldn't satisfy her.Lin Youxi wanted to do something to distract her attention. She found a book and sat on the bed to read it. It belonged to Agatha. She bought it for a long time, but she was busy with work and had no time to read it.When I was in college, apart from playing time, I spent the most time reading in the library.She reads everything, mixed, the youthful romance that girls like, the martial arts fantasy that boys like, as long as the story suits her heart, she will read it all.The miscellaneous books she read at those times seemed useless, but they actually helped her a lot in her later work.

Lin Youxi spent an afternoon reading the book in her hand, then lay down on the bed and slept for a while, when she woke up, the sky outside the window had already darkened.I'm very hungry, but I don't really want to eat.The warm yellow street lights on the road and the cars passing by all looked like a corner of a dream at this moment.

Everything will be fine.Lin Youxi said this to herself in her heart.

(End of this chapter)