Royal Kindergarten

Chapter 1 Happy Moment^_^
[PS: The Little Theater of the Royal Kindergarten is based on the anthology of Tongyan Wuji jokes on the Internet, just for everyone to have a happy moment ^_^]

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early morning
"Zhan'er, get up." Xiao Ziyi coaxed softly in Xiao Zhan's ear.

"It's so bright! Auntie, blow out the lamp!" Xiao Zhan yelled in a daze.

"Zhan'er, the sun is shining on your face!"

"Then blow the sun off!"

"..."

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"Auntie, sister Huanhe doesn't know how to take care of me at all!" Xiao Zhan pouted angrily.

"Oh? How do you say it?" Xiao Ziyi put down the book and asked curiously.

"She always puts me in bed when I don't feel like going to sleep and wakes me up in the morning when I'm asleep!"

"..."

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Here is an ancient time without pesticides, and it is normal to have bugs in vegetable leaves or fruits.However, when they got Xiao Ziyi's place, they were cut and scored well, so this kind of situation would not happen.But Xiao Zhan likes to hold a whole big apple and eat it, which is a bit dangerous.

Xiao Ziyi watched Xiao Zhan eating the apple with relish, and said worriedly: "Be careful not to eat the worms in the apple!"

Xiao Zhan stopped, blinked his big eyes and said, "Why should I pay attention? It should be the one who pays attention to me!"

"..."

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When Li Yunxuan was brought to Jianzhang Palace, he cried like a tearful person.

The Empress Dowager coaxed her kindly and said, "My dear child, don't cry. This girl, if she cries, her face will turn ugly."

Li Yunxuan sobbed and said, "Why...be ugly?"

"When you cry, your face will wrinkle together!" The Empress Dowager said patiently.

Sure enough, Li Yunxuan stopped crying, raised his head to look at the Empress Dowager carefully, and asked seriously after a while: "Grandma Empress Dowager, how many times have you cried since you were young?"

"..."

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When Nangong Xiao was three years old.

Nangong Sheng: "Xiao'er, how much is one plus two?"

Nangong Xiao (counting with fingers): "Uh...it's three."

Nangong Sheng (laughs): "Very good, as expected of my younger brother. I'll give you three sweet-scented osmanthus candies."

Nangong Xiao (looks angry with fingers in his mouth): "Ah?! If I had known this, I, I would have said it was equal to five!"

Nangong Sheng: "..."

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Seeing Xiahou Fengjie dragging two long snots, the old general Xiahou said, "Fengjie, go and wipe off the snot. I will give you two copper coins."

Xiahou Fengjie heard this, and ran out quickly, and came back after a while to ask the old general Xiahou for a copper coin.

General Xiahou said, "I don't have any money, I'm just teasing you."

Xiahou Fengjie said with a smile: "Grandpa, I also coaxed you, I sucked the snot in, you see."

After all, Xiahou Fengjie let out a "hum", and two snots flowed down again...

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Nangong Xiao came back from messing around with Dugu Xuan outside, holding a huge banknote in his hand, and shouted to Nangong Sheng who was reading a book: "Second brother, I picked this up outside!"

Nangong Sheng didn't believe it, raised his head and asked, "Did you really pick it up?"

"It's true!" Nangong Xiao replied, "I saw that person looking for it!"

"..."

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Ru Lan brought a plate of dim sum, but worried that Dugu Xuan would steal it, so she discussed with Xiao Zhan, "Your Highness, how about putting the dim sum where no one can reach it?"

Xiao Zhan blinked his big eyes and said, "Then put it in my stomach."

"..."

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Xiao Ziyi: "Xiao Xuan! Did you steal all the snacks on the table?"

Dugu Xuan pondered for a while, then replied solemnly: "Princess, which one is more punished for telling the truth or lying?"

Xiao Ziyi: "..."

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Dugu Xuan: "Princess! Look! The hair on the top of Mrs. Luo's head is almost falling out!"

Xiao Ziyi (embarrassed): "Xiao Xuan, keep your voice down, this is so bad, this person can hear you."

Dugu Xuan (perplexed): "What? Doesn't he know that he is going to be bald?"

Everyone: "..."

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Li Yunqing: (telling the story of a stray sheep being eaten by wolves) Do you understand?If the sheep had not left the flock, it would not have been eaten by wolves.

Dugu Xuan: But it was eaten by us later...

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Dugu Xuan always grabs cakes with others, Xiao Ziyi keeps educating him but with little success.

Once, Nangong Sheng made a delicious cake, and it happened that Dugu Xuan and Li Yunxuan were present.Xiao Ziyi gave Dugu Xuan a table knife, and said to him: "Take it, cut half for Xiao Xuanxuan, remember, you have to behave like a gentleman."

"Gentleman? How to do it?" Dugu Xuan was puzzled.

"Gentlemen always give the larger half to others." Xiao Ziyi said with a smile.

"Oh." Dugu Xuan thought for a while, brought the cake in front of Li Yunxuan, handed over the knife, and said, "Little Xuanxuan, please cut the cake in half like a gentleman."

Li Yunxuan: "..."

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Xiao Jingyang: Who can give a question about time?

Xiao Zhan: Father, when is get out of class over?
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Duguye: "Xiaoxuan, Ye Xun is a bad boy, I don't want to see you play with him again."

Dugu Xuan: "Uncle, am I a good boy?"

Duguye: "Of course, you are a good boy, a good boy."

Dugu Xuan: "Then, Ye Xun should play with me."

Dugu Ye: "..."

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Cai Kongming: "Please explain the meaning of 'smell the chicken and dance'."

Dugu Xuan: "When I smell the smell of chicken, I dance with joy."

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One day, Dugu Xuan failed to hand in her arithmetic homework.

Xiao Jingyang asked: "Xiaoxuan, why didn't you hand in your homework? Is it because the questions are too difficult?"

Dugu Xuan replied: "No, I understand the question completely, it's the answer that stumps me."

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Xiao Ziyi: "Children, today's kindergarten cleaning, what did you do?"

Xiao Zhan: "Auntie! I cleaned all our dishes!"

Nangong Xiao: "I wiped them all clean."

Dugu Xuan: "I put them all in the cupboard."

Li Yunxuan concluded lightly: "I packed up all the pieces."

Xiao Ziyi: "..."

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Ziyi: Xiaoxuan, if one day Xiaoyunxuan told you that she likes you, what would you do?
Dugu Xuan: Oh... first look behind you.

Ziyi: Why?

Dugu Xuan: I'm sure it's not because of Xiao Zhan or Nangong Xiao standing behind me...

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Xiao Ziyi assigned a homework and asked the children to help the family with one thing.

The next day, I received a receipt from the parents, Dugu Xuan handed over the receipt in Dugu Ye's handwriting: "Help the family eat meat."

Xiao Ziyi replied: "It can be seen that you are really working hard!"

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Cai Kongming: Ye Xun, tell me, what is the Battle of Chibi?

Ye Xun: The battle of "red"... "arm"...?Maybe it means fighting without a shirt?
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Taifu Luo: (Holding a ruler) Nangong Xiao, are you afraid of the old man?
Nangong Xiao: ...No.

Taifu Luo: (Holding a ruler) Dugu Xuan, are you afraid of this old man?
Dugu Xuan: No!
Taifu Luo: (Holding a ruler) Ye Xun, are you afraid of the old man?
Ye Xun: ...No...don't dare to be afraid.

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One day, Dugu Xuan dozed off in class because he played too late the night before.

Tan Xingyue who was beside him called him up: "Why are you sleeping?"

Dugu Xuan rubbed his eyes: "I'm going to see Duke Zhou."

The next day, Tan Xingyue also dozed off in class because he stayed up too late the night before.

Dugu Xuan woke him up: "Why are you sleeping?"

Tan Xingyue said unhurriedly: "Duke Zhou told me that you didn't go to his place at all yesterday."

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Xiao Zhan didn't want to sleep, so Xiao Ziyi sat on the bedside and began to tell him stories.Half an hour, an hour passed, and there was silence in the room.

At this time, Ruozhu opened the door and asked, "Is he asleep?"

"She's asleep." Xiao Zhan replied in a low voice.

"..."

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Xiao Ziyi pays great attention to the children's etiquette education, and pays attention to all occasions, especially when everyone gathers for dinner.

One day at noon, Nangong Sheng cooked a delicious meal, and Dugu Xuan stood on a chair to get the cake in front of Xiao Zhan.

In order to teach him manners, Xiao Ziyi coughed lightly and said, "Xiaoxuan, why don't you sit down and ask Zhan'er to pass it to you?"

Dugu Xuan nodded and said, "Okay, princess."

Then he sat down and shouted to Xiao Zhan who was opposite, "Pass me that piece of cake!"

"What is that very important word?" Xiao Ziyi frowned, trying to make Dugu Xuan notice the importance of the word "please".

As a result, Dugu Xuan took a deep breath and replied, "Immediately!"

"..."

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Xiahou Fengjie was crying loudly, the children in the classroom were all speechless, no one could do anything about him.

After half an hour, Xiahou Fengjie suddenly stopped crying.

Nangong Xiao put down her little hands covering her ears, frowned and said, "Finally you stopped crying."

Xiahou Fengjie sucked his nose, and replied in a childish voice: "It's not that I don't want to stop crying, I just want to rest for a while."

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Xiahou Fengjie is cute and fun, so everyone likes to tease him.

One day, Li Yunxuan teased him and said, "You call me good sister, and I'll give you a piece of cake to eat."

Xiahou Fengjie hurriedly called out sweetly: "Good sister!"

Li Yunxuan said with a smile: "Not enough, you have to call three times."

Xiahou Fengjie hesitated for a moment, then shouted loudly: "Three times!"

"..."

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Xiahou Fengjie has the habit of biting his fingers, every time Xiao Ziyi sees him, he will hit his little hand as a punishment.

One day, when everyone was enjoying the shade under the tree, Xiao Ziyi saw Xia Hou Fengjie was about to bite his finger again, so she stared at him.

Seeing Xiao Ziyi staring at him, Xiahou Fengjie hesitated for a while, then stretched out his finger, and said flatteringly to her: "Princess, do you want to eat too?"

"..."

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Dugu Xuan didn't want to study, because yesterday's exam was miserable, so one morning he said to his mother: "Mom, I want to stay at home today, I don't feel well."

Mother Dugu asked worriedly: "What do you feel uncomfortable, child?"

Dugu Xuan: "Kindergarten."

Mother Dugu: "..."

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Dugu Xuan was found by his parents.

Dugu Ye went extremely unwillingly.

Xiao Ziyi calmly took out an examination paper, "Dugu, Xiaoxuan's answer paper is very similar to that of Xiao Zhan next to him."

"Oh." Dugu Ye frowned, "Could it be possible that His Royal Highness copied Xiaoxuan's test paper?"

"No, there are ten questions in the test paper. For the first nine questions, the answers of the two people, including all calculation processes, are exactly the same. However, under the question of the tenth question, Zhan'er wrote: 'I don't know.' And Xiao Hyun wrote: 'I don't know either.'”

"..."

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It was Taifu Luo's first class, and everyone was extremely disrespectful.The classroom is very noisy.

Taifu Luo said angrily: "Children, I want you to keep quiet! Be so quiet that you can even hear a needle drop on the ground!"

Unexpectedly, the children fell silent all of a sudden.

Mrs. Luo wiped the sweat from his brow, and just after he breathed a sigh of relief, he heard Dugu Xuan scream: "Throw the needle!"

"..."

(End of this chapter)