Chapter 4 Detour
◆Why do people who just go out for a walk end up buying a whole set of clothes?
◆Why is it said that the marketing idea of Michael Dell, the founder of Dell, was established as early as when he was a teenager?
◆Why is the agronomist Perlman able to make the potato, which was once regarded as the "magic apple" by the French people, popular?
◆Why did Marshall's father just tell him that he hoped that he would develop into a good businessman, and he really became a good businessman?
◆Why does 80% of William Moore's wealth income come from only 20% of customers?
Threshold effect:
First gain an inch and then advance a foot, first accumulate steps and then reach a thousand miles
"October" is the peak season for major shopping malls, and Xiaoyue, who specializes in women's clothing, is greeting customers.Suddenly, she saw a middle-aged lady walk into the store.
Xiaoyue asked enthusiastically: "Hello! May I ask what you need, and I can introduce it to you."
Middle-aged lady: "Oh, I don't need anything, just come out for a walk."
Xiaoyue: "Okay, you can take your time. However, it's the season of changing seasons, so you can take a look at these latest styles."
The middle-aged lady looked in the direction of Xiaoyue's finger, staring at a new style of autumn clothes.
Xiaoyue said: "If you like it, you can try it."
The middle-aged lady hurriedly said, "No need, I'm just looking."
Xiaoyue said: "It's okay, just give it a try, and I don't want your money."
So, the middle-aged lady walked into the fitting room with a smile.After coming out, she looked left and right in the mirror, with a satisfied smile on her face.Just after the other party decided to buy this dress, Xiaoyue looked at her clothes, and then said: "This dress of yours is especially suitable for a pair of casual pants. I have the latest casual pants here. If you are interested , You can also try it together and see the overall effect." The middle-aged lady walked into the fitting room again, and after she came out, she looked at the mirror again and again.Xiaoyue suggested: "Look, wearing this dress is more beautiful than wearing one!" The lady smiled and said nothing.However, in the end, the middle-aged lady bought both the clothes and trousers.
The cleverness of Xiaoyue is that she knows how to make a request to customers that she can easily agree to - try on clothes.And when the customer tried the clothes and liked the clothes, and finally decided to buy, she suggested that the customer wear another pair of pants... In fact, this series of processes is exactly the effect of the threshold effect in psychology.
So, what is the threshold effect?The so-called "threshold effect", also known as the "increase effect", means that once a person accepts the negligible demands of others, in order to avoid cognitive dissonance, he may often accept greater demands from others.Because the whole process is like climbing the threshold, it needs to be climbed step by step, so it is also called the threshold effect.
Because of the characteristics of the threshold effect, those smart people can effectively use it to serve themselves.In other words, when controlling and controlling others, smart people often don't directly ask too difficult questions at once, but ask a question that is relatively easy for the other party, and only after the other party agrees will they go further Make bigger requests and go step by step to achieve your goals.For example, if a wife wants her husband to quit smoking, if she suddenly asks him to quit smoking immediately, it may be difficult for him to do so.Even if he did it in front of her, most of the time he would do it secretly.However, if she asks her husband to reduce his smoking by one cigarette a day first, and then reduce his smoking by two cigarettes a day after a while, then the husband may really quit smoking.
Why is there such a phenomenon?The reason is simple. For a husband who has been smoking for many years, if he is asked to stop smoking all of a sudden, he may feel very uncomfortable, and then feel that it is too difficult to quit smoking, so he has no intention of quitting.However, if he is allowed to smoke one less cigarette every day, then he will feel that it is an easy task, and if he smokes one less cigarette, he will smoke one less!As a result, if he persisted for a long time, he would find that he really quit smoking gradually.
For this kind of phenomenon, people are used to describe it as "making progress with an inch"... In fact, all these concepts reflect the truth: first make a small request, and then make a larger request, which is easier to accumulatively increase. success.
And controlling others and controlling others also belong to this kind of thing.The reason for saying this is that when we make difficult or large requests to others at once, the other party's psychology changes greatly, and it is difficult to accept it in a short period of time, so they will naturally refuse.However, if people make small requests to others, the other party will feel that it is a trivial matter, and they will accept it naturally.When he unknowingly gets involved in this matter because he agreed to this small request, he will feel that a larger request is also acceptable based on the accumulation of the last time.
The "threshold effect" tells people that when doing things, most people often have a psychological tendency to avoid the important and take the easy.And just because most people have such psychological characteristics, those smart people often use it flexibly when trying to make others accept their opinions, viewpoints and doing things, accumulating little to big, from small to large .
Big requests need to be broken down into small ones
In life, everyone may have had this experience: If people are asked to do something that is easy to do, people will often accept it without hesitation; When asking, they are often not so generous, and even directly refuse the other party.For example, if a friend is going to the street, if you ask her to bring a pair of socks first, most of the friends will happily agree to you; then, if you ask her to bring a pair of slippers, she may not refuse; "You can help me bring some small ornaments!" She may think that she has brought two different things anyway, and it is not bad, so she can help you bring back the ornaments.However, if you tell your friend directly at the beginning to help you bring socks, slippers, and accessories, she may feel that there are so many things, too troublesome, and she is unwilling to help you bring.
Therefore, when controlling and controlling others, in order to better realize the big request in their hearts, those smart people usually work hard on the small request, and then gradually transition to the big request.
Encourage people to do the easiest tasks
Sometimes, when asking the other person to do something, you will find that your request is big, and you also know that the other person is likely to refuse.At this time, instead of holding the mentality of trying and waiting for the other party to refuse, you might as well divide it into small things, and then encourage them to complete those small things or tasks that are easiest to complete, and then accumulate step by step.In this way, it may be easier for you to control the other party and control the other party to accept your big request.
For example, as a subordinate, you want to persuade the leader to do things according to your point of view and method. If you directly say to the leader, "My method is more effective than your method", then the leader will definitely reject you angrily.But if you let the leader listen to your opinions and methods first, the leader will probably feel that it doesn't hurt to listen.In fact, by the time he's finished listening to your ideas and methods, he may have realized that your method is more effective.At this point, when you persuade the leader to do something according to your method, in most cases, he will agree.
·The law of mind control·
Smart people often don't directly ask too difficult questions at once, but ask a question that is relatively easy for the other party.After the other party agrees, they will make further and larger requests.In other words, you will achieve your goals step by step from small to large.
Expectation effect:
Your expectations, you need to show him a bright future
Shivape took office as the president of Carnegie Corporation. The first thing he had to solve after he took office was to persuade Pilpat Morgan to buy Carnegie's steel company.Before that, both Carnegie and Gary tried to make this big deal with Morgan, but they were unsuccessful.
Soon, Shiwap specially held a banquet and invited many bankers in New York, and Morgan was undoubtedly one of the important ones.At the banquet, Shivapu made a wonderful speech.He envisioned a bright future for the steel industry, emphasizing the notion that mergers between companies can significantly increase efficiency and ultimately promote healthy competition, an industrial combination that creates enormous wealth for the promoters...he does not specify Any firm should do that without revealing how much it gravitates toward Morgan.
As a result, it was such a speech that made Morgan find him immediately after the banquet and had a pleasant exchange with him.After the exchange, Shwap sold Carnegie's Steel Company to Morgan for $4.92 million.
Why did Carnegie and Gary fail to persuade Morgan, while Shwap succeeded in convincing Morgan to buy the steel company with just one speech?From the whole incident, it is not difficult for people to find the strategy used by Shiwap: to attract the other party by painting a bright prospect for the other party, and then let the other party actively find themselves.
For the strategy of attracting the other party by painting a bright prospect for the other party, it is classified in the category of expectation effect in psychology.In other words, according to your thoughts and expectations, describe to the other party a beautiful direction and prospect that you want him to go, so that it is easier to attract the other party to do things according to your ideas.
So, what is the expectancy effect?The expectation effect is also called the Pygmalion effect.To put it simply, in interpersonal communication, the abundant affection and high expectations of one party can cause subtle but profound changes in the other party.But the realization of this link often requires people to adopt the method of painting a bright future for the other party to execute.
We are not unfamiliar with the phenomenon of using bright prospects to attract others to realize their expectations in our hearts. For example, we may often have such an experience. When we want friends to accompany us on a trip or vacation, if If you directly tell your friends to go on a trip or vacation, your friends may not be willing, and sometimes they even directly reject you.However, if you tell him directly how beautiful the place you are going to is, there are dense forests, wild flowers all over the mountains, and many exciting and fun things... You will find that your friend’s description of you is often full of expectations and yearning , and then want to travel with you.And just when your friend agrees to travel with you, in fact, what you expected in your heart has come true.
So, why when we want someone to do something, it is easier to control the other person, control the other person, and then move forward according to our own thinking?This is because when we paint a bright prospect and a bright future to others, the other's desires and interests can't help being ignited.And once the other party's desire is aroused, he will be sincerely interested in this matter, even like it, and will be more willing to devote himself to this matter.And when a person feels that he wants to join something or even like something, if you ask him to do this thing or like this thing, will he still refuse?I believe it will not.
But when using this strategy, you must also master the method, that is, you must also master some skills when describing a bright future to the other party.For example, when describing, try to use language packaging to stimulate the other party's desire; at the same time, you must also grasp the timing and occasion, so the effect will often be better.
The bright future of language "packaging"
People often say: "What is done by man is what is said by man." In fact, this seemingly common saying contains profound truths: each person's speaking method and content are different, and the effect will be different.
In fact, this trick is more important in portraying a bright future to others in order to better achieve the desired goal in your heart.Because whether the other party can see a bright future and bright prospects, in fact, your description accounts for seven points.That is to say, when you describe the prospect of something, you must speak clearly, impeccably, and impeccably, so as to stimulate the other party's imagination.Once the other person's imagination is developing in the direction you designed for him, the moment you influence him is getting closer and closer.
When the other person is in a good mood, paint a bright future for him
Everyone may have experienced this: when you are in a good mood, you may not feel bored by what others say.But when I am in a bad mood, even if others say good things, I will feel upset when I hear them, and I am unwilling to continue the discussion.
This tells us that when controlling others, controlling others, and accepting your own opinions, viewpoints, and methods, even if you are painting a bright future for the other party, you should choose when the other party is in a good mood, so that the other party will be more likely to accept you. , which in turn is affected by you.
·The law of mind control·
When people describe a bright prospect and a bright future to others, the desires and interests of the other party can't help being ignited.Once the other party's desire is aroused, he will be sincerely interested in this matter, even like it, and will be more willing to devote himself to this matter.
Principle of path dependence:
To learn to use the "path dependence" psychology
When it comes to Dell computers, I am afraid that everyone knows it, because Dell himself can be described as a myth of wealth in the international IT industry.The development of Dell Computer is closely related to Dell's marketing model, which has two types, namely "direct sales model" and "market segmentation model".As for the establishment of these two marketing models, Michael Dell, the founder of Dell, once said: "This concept has been established as early as my youth."
When Dale was 12 years old, he loved collecting stamps.But in order to save money, he didn't want to sell stamps from the auction, but persuaded a neighbor who also liked collecting stamps and worked in a professional publication to help him advertise the sale of stamps in the publication.Unexpectedly, he made $2000.With the first time, he often thought about eliminating those intermediate links and contacting customers directly, and this evolved into his later "direct sales model".
When he was in junior high school, Dell started to get in touch with computers and started a computer-related business.He found that there was a big price difference in the process of buying parts and assembling them and then selling them.At the same time, most people who operated computers at that time could not provide this technical support to customers.This inspired him to save those middlemen and assemble computers by himself, which not only has a price advantage, but also designs products according to customer requirements.In this way, the "direct sales model" and the "market segmentation model" were born.
Why did the method used by Michael Dell at the age of 12 last until junior high school, so that he could still use it in the sales model when he grew up and started a company?This is because, to some extent, Michael Dale was influenced by the "path dependence" psychology in psychology.
So, what is path dependence psychology?To put it simply, there is a kind of inertia in people's thinking, and they often do things according to past behaviors and laws.Therefore, once people make a certain choice, the force of inertia will make this choice self-reinforcing and prevent people from going out easily.
It can be said that the psychology of "path dependence" is an inherent psychological characteristic of people. It is not just Michael Dell who is affected by this psychology. Many people and many things in life are affected by this psychology to some extent.Because people are susceptible to this psychology, those who are wise can always use this psychology well to make people serve themselves.For example, as a mother, Yang Xue cleverly used this psychology to effectively control and control her son.
Yang Xue's son has started elementary school and has officially learned English.But my son just doesn't like English, and he hates memorizing words even more.In order to change her son's dislike of learning English, Yang Xue did this:
One day, she saw a car model on the street, and bought it for her son on a brainwave.When she got home, her son was watching cartoons.She smiled and took out the toy from her bag, and asked her son: "Honey, what do you think this is?" When the son saw it, he exclaimed happily: "Car!" "Do you like it?" Yang Xue continued to ask.The son jumped up and kept saying: "I like it, I like it!" The son happily took the car from her.
After a while, she smiled and asked her son, "Honey, you like cars so much, do you know what a car is called in England?" .” Yang Xue clearly told his son the word car, which immediately aroused his son’s interest, and then he memorized the word car.And she used this method to gradually change her son's bad habit of not liking English and hating memorizing words.
It is not difficult to see from Yang Xue's change of her son's learning of English. Her cleverness lies in that she does not use coercive methods to force her son to learn English, but uses her son's path-dependent psychology to skillfully use it to control her son, Driving my son to learn English.
So, why is path-dependent psychology more effective than common methods in controlling and controlling others?In this regard, psychologists have used the "impulse" and "inertia" in physics to explain its role.That is to say, once a person enters a certain state or chooses, he will become dependent on this way of thinking, and then continue to move in the same direction along this thinking path.
Although this strategy is more conducive to people's control and control over others, when using this strategy, one must master the corresponding methods in order to achieve immediate results.The specific method is as follows:
You need to master the method of "throwing bricks to attract jade"
When it comes to "throwing bricks to attract jade", everyone is no stranger.But there are not many people who really know how to use this method in life, especially when controlling others, even less people use this method.In fact, the method of throwing bricks to attract jade often has unique effects in controlling and controlling others.
The so-called "throwing bricks to attract jade" strategy, as the name implies, is to use one's own immature or small opinions and things to draw out better things from others.That is to say, when controlling others, you can use those insignificant things in yourself to attract others.For example, as a leader, you want your subordinates to better accept your opinions, do things for you, and follow your instructions. Instead of trying to persuade them how to do it, you don’t know how to directly attract them by giving some bonuses or small rewards. , Inspire each other.And when the other party really works hard for this and improves work efficiency, in fact, the small capital you have paid has already been rewarded, so why not do it?Therefore, if you want to become a master at controlling and controlling others, you must first understand the path-dependent strategy of "throwing bricks to attract jade".
Good at designing different levels of "trap" for the target
In life, we often find such a phenomenon: sometimes a lot of words may be said, but the other party is not impressed; but sometimes it is only a few understatement words that can successfully control others to do things for themselves.The main reason why there is such a big difference between the two lies in whether they know how to design different levels of "trap" for their own goals, and a small goal is something that people can easily agree to and achieve.
Therefore, those smart people always design their goals into countless small goals, and then encourage people to achieve them one by one. When people complete one small goal after another, the ultimate goal is naturally realized.Therefore, the principle of path dependence that is good at designing different levels of "trap" for the target really needs to be mastered.
·The law of mind control·
From a certain point of view, the principle of path dependence is similar to the "impulse" and "inertia" in physics.That is to say, once a person enters a certain state or chooses, he will have a psychological dependence on this way of thinking, and then continue along this thinking path like inertia.
Caterpillar effect:
If you can't go all the way, you have to change your thinking
At a job fair, a large company is hiring.The queue of candidates is very long, and many of them are highly educated and have a good image.But the final result surprised everyone: After those applicants with high academic qualifications and good image were successfully employed, another girl with an unattractive appearance was admitted.
Later, one of the interviewers said something like this: When she first sat down to prepare for the interview, most of us could see that she did not meet the standards required by the company for this position.So, we simply turned her down.However, she did not leave because of our rejection, but asked us if other positions in the company were suitable for her.If there is a suitable position, she is also willing to come to the company.
All of us present were touched by her witty actions and her behavior of saying things in a different way.So, then we decided to hire her for another position.
From the whole process, it is not difficult to find that the reason why this unattractive girl was able to successfully influence the interviewer and let the company admit her in the process of job hunting was that when she found that the first way was not working, I can change my thinking and direction in time, and talk about job hunting from another angle.It was her timely change of thinking that found the opportunity for herself to enter a big company.
Seeing what girls do, one has to mention the caterpillar effect in psychology.The so-called caterpillar effect was derived by the French psychologist John Farber in the caterpillar experiment. It mainly emphasizes the phenomenon of blindly sticking to the stereotyped follow-up and not knowing how to be flexible, which often leads to failure.Later, it was summarized by psychologists as: people are used to follow or use the ideas and methods of their predecessors to do things, so as to solve problems in a fixed thinking mode.This tends to paralyze people's creativity and is not conducive to better problem solving.
Similar to the habitual following phenomenon of "caterpillars", this is also a mistake people often make in life.For example, people may find such a phenomenon: when some people put forward their own suggestions to the leader, the leader has already rejected him, but he still insists on it.But if you persist, you will find that not only did he fail to persuade the leader to accept his suggestion, but instead made the leader feel bored with him.
On the other hand, if you look at those smart people, you will find that when they let the other party accept their point of view and do things, they often don't directly hit the south wall after hitting a wall, but say it from another angle. Thinking to do it, the result is successful.Clay Mensall is such a smart guy.
After World War I, Clay Menthor advocated for a peace conference at Versailles.But when he was preparing to carry out the plan, he found that the issue would be disputed, because Lloyd George and Colonel House preferred the meeting to be held in Geneva.He knew that if he still put forward the proposition he insisted on at that time, he must not be sure, because he did not have strong evidence to convince everyone.Therefore, he avoided this issue and did not bring it up for discussion at the meeting at that time, but said that it would be left for future discussion.After a period of time, he made detailed plans and made sufficient preparations, and finally he succeeded in having the Peace Conference held at Versailles.Here, I have to say that Clay Menthor is smart, and his smartness is knowing how to talk about things from a different angle and solve problems with a different way of thinking at the right time.
So, why is it easier to control and control others when you change your mind to exert influence on others when it doesn't work all the way?This is because when you say it from a different angle and thinking, the other party will first feel a sense of freshness, and then no longer have the "limitation mentality" when you rejected you last time, and take the problem you said as a new one. When you think about it, you will have another feeling, from which you will have the possibility to accept you.
In addition, we should also understand the truth that the other party has rejected you before, if you insist on asking the other party stubbornly, insisting on getting them to agree with you, or even persuading the other party to support you and agree with you over and over again, then the other party’s heart is bound to be There will be an emotion of impatience, which will lead to greater rebellious psychology towards you, and even a mentality of fighting with you to the death.At this time, if you want to influence the other party, it must be even more difficult.
In order to use this strategy more effectively, you must also master the following specific methods:
talk about things from a different angle
We all have this experience. Sometimes when expressing a point of view or saying something to the other party, if you say it directly, you may be strongly opposed or even rejected by the other party.But if it is euphemistically changed from another angle, the situation may be completely different.For example, it is also for the health of the husband, and I hope that the husband will not smoke. If the wife directly reprimands the husband to stop smoking, the husband may not only fail to appreciate his wife's concern for him, but may even become a little impatient.However, if the wife can change the angle and say to her husband: "You have recently smoked more frequently, is there something wrong with it, try to smoke as little as possible, it is not good for your health." At this time, I am afraid that the husband will not only Naturally pinch the cigarette, but also feel his wife's love for him.
Temporarily avoiding it is also a strategy to change thinking
When you ask the other person to do something or get the other person to agree with what you said, but the other person's voice disagrees, be sure not to insist.In fact, the best way at this time is to temporarily avoid some collisions that may arise between you.Sometimes, the reason why you encounter non-cooperation from the other party may not be that there is something wrong with your request itself, but that the other party happens to be emotionally fluctuating or angry, and then rejects your opinions.After a while, when the other party is calm, you mention this matter again, and you will find that the situation is often quite different.
In addition, when he rejects you for the first time, he will be more or less impressed.In this way, when you propose it again next time, he will reluctantly agree due to many reasons such as being embarrassed to reject you again.
·The law of mind control·
When you say it from a different angle and thinking, the other party will first feel a sense of freshness, and then they will no longer have the "limitation mentality" when they rejected you last time, and will consider the problem you said as a new problem. , so he will also have another feeling, from which there is the possibility of accepting you.
Forbidden Fruit Reverse Psychology:
Appropriate "appetite" will get twice the result with half the effort
When the French agronomist Perlman was studying in Germany, he knew and understood potatoes, so he planned to promote planting in France.But after returning to France, because some doctors believed that this kind of strange potato was harmful to health, and some people asserted that potatoes would make the land barren, so people agreed that potatoes were "ghost apples" and refused to grow them.
In this way, in France, potato cultivation has not been vigorously promoted.Later, Perlman thought of a way.He cultivated potatoes in a well-known field, and asked the king to send a heavily armed guard to guard the edge of the field, and no one would be allowed to approach it.But these guards only concentrate on guarding during the day, and at night, those who should be withdrawn will be withdrawn, those who should rest should rest, and those who should sleep should sleep.
People always felt that what the king tried his best to protect must be good, and they also became very interested in the potatoes on this land, and discovered the rule that the soldiers did not guard carefully at night.So, at night, like a treasure, he secretly went to dig potatoes and introduced them to his field.And it is through this method that the cultivation of potatoes has been rapidly promoted in France.
Why is the potato, which was originally known as the "ghost apple", so popular in France and finally promoted quickly?In this regard, psychologists believe that the method of being guarded by the king's guard as thought by the agronomist Perlman played a crucial role.The reason for saying this is that Perlman cleverly used the "forbidden fruit rebellion psychology" in psychology to attract people's attention to potatoes, and then indirectly control them to grow potatoes.
So, what is forbidden fruit reverse psychology?The so-called forbidden fruit reverse psychology refers to the fact that the prohibition with insufficient reasons can easily arouse people's stronger desire to explore.Specifically, it is the special attraction caused by not being able to get it.
Everyone is no stranger to the phenomenon of forbidden fruit reverse psychology.For example, you may often find this phenomenon: the more adults do not let children touch or know about certain things, the more children will be interested in them; the more forbidden certain movies and books are, the more popular they become...
Why are things that were originally forbidden, so popular and so attractive?This is because people have a common psychology - curiosity.And when you take a series of measures to try to prohibit certain things, it will stimulate the curiosity deep in your heart, and then under the guidance of this kind of psychology, you will have a strong interest in those things that are prohibited and not easy to get .
Since people will have a strong interest in something or something because they are forbidden, when people try to make others accept their ideas and do things for themselves, they can use this method skillfully to provide Serve yourself.
Appropriate "appetite" can get twice the result with half the effort
We have all experienced this kind of "forbidden fruit": the more difficult it is to get something, the more we will cherish it, and the easier it is to get, the less impression we will have.And the appetite is undoubtedly a powerful factor that aggravates this kind of psychology.This is why many boys chase girls. If they spend a lot of thought but fail to pursue them, even after many years, he may still remember her and even have a deep impression on her.
This tells us that when you want someone to do something, you can not directly ask him how to do it, but take some measures to make the other person feel that you are prohibiting him or not allowing him to do it , or even slowly satisfy the other party's appetite, and then let him do it.As a result, he may be more aggressive than before.
Attract each other with the "unobtainable" method
We also tend to have this kind of mentality: we are often impressed by what we can't get.Just like Zhang Ailing said: "If you take a red rose, over time, the red rose will become a smear of mosquito blood on the wall, and the white rose will still be 'the bright moonlight in front of your bed'; The red one is a cinnabar mole on the heart." In fact, Zhang Ailing's words also express the influence of the forbidden fruit's rebellious psychology from a certain angle.
Since people are impressed by what they can't get, you can effectively use this method when you master others and do things for yourself.That is to say, if you want the other party to do something, you can play against him appropriately and attract him with things you can't get, so that he may be more easily influenced by you, and then more willing to be controlled by you.For example, if a child wants a toy and you want him to study hard, you can encourage the child to say that if you pass the exam this time, your mother will buy you that toy as a reward.If you don't do well in the exam, don't blame your mother for being rude, and you won't be able to get that beloved toy.
·The law of mind control·
People tend to develop a strong interest in things that are forbidden and not easily available.Because of this, when you try to get others to accept your ideas and do things for yourself, you can skillfully use the methods of "stimulating appetite" and "not being able to get it" to stimulate this kind of psychology, and further improve your self-confidence. Control each other well and control each other.
Rosenthal Effect:
Tell him you'll be what I imagined you to be
Ever since Marshall was born, his father, John Field, had always hoped that he would grow up to be a rich man.Therefore, when Marshall was very young, he sent Marshall to work as a clerk in Davis's store, hoping that he would feel the atmosphere of a businessman and learn some business skills from an early age.
But Marshall didn't like being a clerk in someone else's shop.Therefore, during his work as a clerk in the shop, he always showed various rebellious behaviors.Some time later, John Field came into the store and asked Davis if Marshall was fit to be a businessman.Davis told him bluntly: "Marshall is not a businessman, no matter how many years he has studied in the shop."
John Feld was very confused about this, but this did not make him give up his belief in training his son to be an outstanding businessman.One day, on the pretext of chatting with Marshall, he called Marshall to his side and started a relaxed and meaningful conversation with him.He told Marshall that he hoped that he would develop into a successful businessman, and placed deep expectations on him.
In the days that followed, he sent Marshall out again, this time to Chicago.This time, he didn't deliberately oppose anything rebelliously as he did at the beginning, nor did he take any actions he didn't like, but gradually developed and learned according to what his father told him.In this way, Marshall witnessed the successful experiences of many rich people in Chicago, and finally made an amazing career himself.
From the fact that John Field successfully managed Marshall to learn how to do business obediently according to his own ideas, it is not difficult to find his shrewdness: after learning that his son did not follow his own ideas, obediently After being a buddy and learning how to do business, he didn't blame or criticize his son, but patiently told his son what he thought, and guided him on the path he imagined.
For John Feld's behavior of directly telling his son that he hopes he will develop into a businessman, it is listed as the category of "Rosenthal Effect" in psychology.The so-called "Rosenthal effect", in a nutshell, is that you give the other party some kind of psychological hints like hope, trust, praise and expectation. Sometimes it has an infinite energy and can easily change the behavior of others.
The phenomenon of using this strategy to serve oneself can be found everywhere in life, but sometimes people don't pay enough attention to it, and then they can't exert great effects.Sometimes, we often see such a phenomenon: in a company, some subordinates may be passive and slow down because they are dissatisfied with certain things, and the boss will call him into the office with encouragement He said in a tone: I have performed well recently (actually, I talked to him because of his poor performance), work hard, and I will definitely promote you if I have a chance to be promoted in the future; perform well, and I will give you a salary increase in two months... The truth is, the boss did nothing but state the fact that the employee should do a good job.But just like that, the passive sabotage situation of the subordinates has obviously improved.
This trick of the boss also falls within the scope of the "Rosenthal effect", and it also gives us such a warning: when necessary, instead of trying to ask the other party what to do, it is better to tell the other party directly. The other party, what do you want him to do.
You should know that this method of telling the other party that you want him to be what you imagine with direct or indirect words and actions will help the other party develop characteristics corresponding to this expectation.In other words, your words will germinate in him a sense of responsibility for being given expectations.Therefore, in many cases, even if it is to live up to the expectations you gave him, he will behave more positively.
But when using this strategy, also pay attention to: When telling others, there must be some kind of positive expectation in the words, and there should be trust in the words.
When telling someone to be who you imagined to be, use expectations in your words
When you hope that the other party will develop in a certain direction and tell him this direction, you must have certain expectations, so that the other party is more likely to be influenced.Otherwise, if you just blindly demand the other party without expectations, you will easily have rebellious emotions towards convenience, and then you will not want to be influenced by you.
And those smart people are undoubtedly those who know how to use this method.For example, if you are a smart teacher and you want students to listen carefully to the class, then when playing games or talking with students, you should talk to students with the expectation that they should listen carefully in class: only students who listen carefully in class, Only then will they be liked by the teacher and praised by the classmates... In this way, most of the students will be more serious when they are in class.
have trust in your words
In life, we often have this kind of experience. When others trust us and firmly believe that you can do something well, we often have an incomparable sense of honor in our hearts.This sense of honor will prompt us to work harder in one thing to maintain the trust and support given by others.
This tells us that for those smart people, when they want the other party to do things according to their own wishes and develop according to their own ideas, they often have full trust in their words.In other words, sometimes their success stems from the trust they reveal to each other in their words.Because they often understand that trust can make the other party feel that they are trusted, and they will follow orders more actively.
·The law of mind control·
Use direct or indirect words and actions to tell the other party that you want him to be what you imagined, which will help the other party to develop characteristics corresponding to this expectation.In other words, your words will germinate in him a sense of responsibility for being given expectations.Therefore, in many cases, even if it is to live up to the expectations you gave him, he will behave more positively.
Twenty-eight rule:
Making the best use of key resources enables everyone to perform at their best
William Moore is the chairman of the famous American enterprise Kelly-Moore Company. After he succeeded, many people paid attention to the secret of his success.In this regard, William Moore once made a statement to people like this:
His first job was as a salesman, mainly responsible for selling Glidden's paint.He's frustratingly earning $160 for a month of desperately running around the streets.He couldn't figure out what he was not doing well enough.
One day, he saw this sentence in the Jewish business wisdom: "80% of the social wealth is in the hands of 20% of the people." Later, he carefully observed his sales chart and found that 80% of his income also came from 20% of his clients, and he spends the same amount of time on all of them.
This discovery allowed him to find out why he only made $160.Therefore, in the subsequent sales process, he put his main energy on those customers who are most likely to buy the product, and for those customers who are hesitant, some choose to give up, and some spend half of their efforts to win. .As a result, after the implementation of this method, he easily earned $1000, and in the following days, his sales performance has been ranked among the top in the company.And that's the secret of his success.
According to the normal understanding, William Moore can only sell more paint if he devotes all his energy to each customer.However, from the fact that William Moore finally experienced, it is not difficult to find that he can only sell more paint if he spends 80% of his efforts on the 20% of customers who are most likely to buy his products.
Why is there such a phenomenon?This refers to the "[-]th rule" in psychology.Because the secret discovered by William Moore in Jewish business wisdom is actually the "[-]th Rule", and it is precisely because of the effective use of the "[-]th Rule" that William Moore achieved success.
For the "20th rule", not many people may know about it. The "80th Rule", also known as "Pareto's Law", was proposed by the Italian economist Pareto.He once pointed out: No matter what kind of things, the important aspect often only accounts for a small part, about 20%; while the minor part accounts for the majority, about 80%.But don't underestimate the [-]%, because it is important, so if you control it, it is often easier to mobilize the [-]% to control the overall situation.Later, people called this phenomenon the "[-]th rule".
For this strategy, those smart managers are undoubtedly the ones who know how to use it to their advantage.For example, in life, we often see such a phenomenon: the company's bosses and upper-level people often invite the company's management to dinner, and invite them to travel together, and give them some extra preferential treatment, but they will not treat those small Employees and subordinates have too much care and love.In fact, the reason why the bosses and the upper management do this is very simple, that is, they know that as long as they catch these management people and let them work for them willingly, those people can mobilize the talents of other people in the company. Strength, and then ensure the operation of the entire company.
Why does the "[-]th rule" have such a great effect on controlling and controlling others?This is because it reveals to us such a truth: When controlling others and controlling a thing, we must distinguish between primary and secondary, understand the severity, and distinguish between the front and the back. Center, grasp the key, find and make full use of the key resources that serve you, and then you can get the optimal allocation of resources, so that others can maximize their effectiveness.
Although grasping those main forces is more conducive to the development of things, and it is also more conducive to mobilizing people around you to act according to your thinking, but when using this strategy, you must also understand its efficacy and related precautions, so that Only when it is used can it be used with ease.
Using the "[-]th rule", you must know how to distinguish between primary and secondary
In life, we are often taught to do everything well, but the reality is that human abilities are limited, and it is impossible to do everything equally well, let alone devote [-]% of our energy all the time All mobilized out.The same goes for mastering others.
And the cleverness of those smart people is that they know how to distinguish between the primary and the secondary, and are good at grasping the most important parts for themselves, and then make full use of this part.Just when he has made good use of the resources of this main part, in fact, he has obtained what should be obtained and controlled the people who should be controlled.
Using the "[-]th rule", the most important thing is to find the most critical resources
The reason why it is advocated to know how to use the "20" rule when controlling one thing, understanding and controlling others is because the "[-] rule" can improve the efficiency of doing things, and the improvement of efficiency is undoubtedly related to the most critical resources are closely related.This tells us that if you want to be a smart person who controls others, you must find out the [-]% that is most critical to you.
This is because, only when you know which is important, can you grasp it accurately, well, and finely, and then you can give full play to your strengths and use them for yourself, so as to better mobilize the remaining 80%.
·The law of mind control·
When controlling others and controlling one thing, you must distinguish between primary and secondary, understand the importance, and distinguish the front and back. You should not "grasp the eyebrows and beards at once", but should focus on the key points, the center, and the key, and find and make full use of what serves you. Only then can the optimal allocation of resources be obtained, so that others can maximize their effectiveness.
Inspiration from earthworm crawling:
Appropriate compromise, forbearance, and renunciation are to lure the enemy into deep
In the 19s, as the war had just ended and Japan’s economy was recovering, and Swiss watches occupied the main market, Japan’s Seikosha, whose main industry was the production of mechanical watches, fell into a very difficult stage.
At this time, Hattori Shoji officially became the general manager of Seikosha.Although he has been working hard on quality and price since he took office, he still cannot occupy a favorable market position, and the company was once in danger of going bankrupt.After careful consideration, Hattori Shoji made a bold decision: to temporarily abandon the production of mechanical watches and develop new products instead.After learning of this decision, many people at the time expressed their incomprehension, and some even persuaded the Ministry that Shoji was destroying the achievements of his predecessors bit by bit.
But after several years of hard work, Hattori Masaji finally led the members of the company to successfully launch the quartz electronic watch into the market.Once this watch was put on the market, it caused a sensation in the watch industry and the world because of its accurate travel time and small error.By the 19s, Seikosha had become a world-renowned large-scale enterprise, and its sales volume has consistently ranked first in the world.
From Hattori Zhengji's bold abandonment of the original mechanical watch production, and his success in developing quartz watches, it is not difficult to find the strategy he used: a process from backward to forward.
And seeing this process, we have to mention the theory of "earthworm crawling" in psychology.When an earthworm is moving forward, we often see that its curved body retreats every time it climbs a step, and it will continue to move forward after each retreat.But it is this reciprocating movement that can make it crawl very far.When used in interpersonal relationships, it is to temporarily "retreat" just to change an angle, change a direction, or make some space so that you can move forward better.
From the perspective of controlling and controlling others, it tells us: If you want to effectively control and control others, you must know how to compromise and make concessions when necessary, because most of your compromises are not retreats. It is an important part of winning people's hearts and gaining momentum.And when you gain enough hearts, if you want others to accept your views, opinions, and do things for you, the other party will not only agree to you, but will also willingly work for you.
And those smart people are undoubtedly those who know how to use this strategy.For example, in life, we often find that those who have good popularity in the company and win the appreciation of the boss and the trust of colleagues are often not those who like to show off their quick words, nor are they those who like to show off and steal performance in everything , let alone those who gossip, and those who tell the truth, but those who often give in to each other verbally, who never haggle over small things, but never ambiguous about major things.And when he not only wins the favor of the boss, but also wins the favor of his colleagues, what good things such as salary increase and promotion can not be him?
Then, why do compromise and forbearance at the right time play such a big role in controlling others and gaining momentum for oneself?In this regard, psychology believes that this is because an appropriate compromise can satisfy the opponent's competitive psychology, and then it is easy to win people's hearts.
At the same time, proper compromise can also avoid incurring conflicts and create a relatively "peaceful" environment for yourself, which in turn makes it easier for you to control and control others.Just imagine, a person who likes to care about others in everything, and likes to compete with others every day, will he have fewer "enemies"?Will there be fewer people who have conflicts with him?Certainly not.And when most people around you have conflicts with you and regard you as a thorn in their side and a thorn in their flesh, is it possible for you to try to get him to do things for you and support you?I'm afraid it's too late for the other party to object.
Although appropriate compromises are easier to lure the enemy into intensifying, compromises must be made according to the situation, and at the same time, conditions must be paid attention to.Only then will you be able to better use this strategy to serve yourself.
Compromise is about working on the little things
In order to better win people's hearts, people can compromise on some things, but not everything can be compromised, but to focus on those small things, people are used to describe it as "small things".That is to say, in life, you don't need to waste all your resources on useless fights, those unnecessary daily chores that should be given up should be given up, those that should be tolerated should be tolerated, and those that should be silent should be silent.
This is because shrinking back on these things can not only show your heart, but also make it easy for others to feel that you are a friendly and kind person, and thus they are more willing to associate and get close to you.When a person is willing to associate with you and get close to you, if you ask him to do things for you and support you, will he still refuse?I believe most of the time it will not.
You need to let others know that you are compromising and not afraid
When a smart person uses a compromise strategy, he will not only tolerate, compromise, and give up on small things to the other party, but also let the other party see that his compromise is out of consideration for the overall situation, or out of tolerance for the other party, not Afraid of the opponent's strength.
The reason for this is simple, only when the other party realizes that you are forbearing him, will he feel a little awe of you.And when he thinks you are afraid of him, he won't pay enough attention to you, and even treat you like a persimmon.At this time, if you want to effectively control the other party, I am afraid it will not be so easy.
·The law of mind control·
Appropriate compromise can satisfy the other party's competitive psychology, and then it is easy to win people's hearts.At the same time, proper compromise can also avoid incurring conflicts and create a relatively "peaceful" environment for oneself, which is more conducive to controlling and controlling others.
(End of this chapter)
◆Why do people who just go out for a walk end up buying a whole set of clothes?
◆Why is it said that the marketing idea of Michael Dell, the founder of Dell, was established as early as when he was a teenager?
◆Why is the agronomist Perlman able to make the potato, which was once regarded as the "magic apple" by the French people, popular?
◆Why did Marshall's father just tell him that he hoped that he would develop into a good businessman, and he really became a good businessman?
◆Why does 80% of William Moore's wealth income come from only 20% of customers?
Threshold effect:
First gain an inch and then advance a foot, first accumulate steps and then reach a thousand miles
"October" is the peak season for major shopping malls, and Xiaoyue, who specializes in women's clothing, is greeting customers.Suddenly, she saw a middle-aged lady walk into the store.
Xiaoyue asked enthusiastically: "Hello! May I ask what you need, and I can introduce it to you."
Middle-aged lady: "Oh, I don't need anything, just come out for a walk."
Xiaoyue: "Okay, you can take your time. However, it's the season of changing seasons, so you can take a look at these latest styles."
The middle-aged lady looked in the direction of Xiaoyue's finger, staring at a new style of autumn clothes.
Xiaoyue said: "If you like it, you can try it."
The middle-aged lady hurriedly said, "No need, I'm just looking."
Xiaoyue said: "It's okay, just give it a try, and I don't want your money."
So, the middle-aged lady walked into the fitting room with a smile.After coming out, she looked left and right in the mirror, with a satisfied smile on her face.Just after the other party decided to buy this dress, Xiaoyue looked at her clothes, and then said: "This dress of yours is especially suitable for a pair of casual pants. I have the latest casual pants here. If you are interested , You can also try it together and see the overall effect." The middle-aged lady walked into the fitting room again, and after she came out, she looked at the mirror again and again.Xiaoyue suggested: "Look, wearing this dress is more beautiful than wearing one!" The lady smiled and said nothing.However, in the end, the middle-aged lady bought both the clothes and trousers.
The cleverness of Xiaoyue is that she knows how to make a request to customers that she can easily agree to - try on clothes.And when the customer tried the clothes and liked the clothes, and finally decided to buy, she suggested that the customer wear another pair of pants... In fact, this series of processes is exactly the effect of the threshold effect in psychology.
So, what is the threshold effect?The so-called "threshold effect", also known as the "increase effect", means that once a person accepts the negligible demands of others, in order to avoid cognitive dissonance, he may often accept greater demands from others.Because the whole process is like climbing the threshold, it needs to be climbed step by step, so it is also called the threshold effect.
Because of the characteristics of the threshold effect, those smart people can effectively use it to serve themselves.In other words, when controlling and controlling others, smart people often don't directly ask too difficult questions at once, but ask a question that is relatively easy for the other party, and only after the other party agrees will they go further Make bigger requests and go step by step to achieve your goals.For example, if a wife wants her husband to quit smoking, if she suddenly asks him to quit smoking immediately, it may be difficult for him to do so.Even if he did it in front of her, most of the time he would do it secretly.However, if she asks her husband to reduce his smoking by one cigarette a day first, and then reduce his smoking by two cigarettes a day after a while, then the husband may really quit smoking.
Why is there such a phenomenon?The reason is simple. For a husband who has been smoking for many years, if he is asked to stop smoking all of a sudden, he may feel very uncomfortable, and then feel that it is too difficult to quit smoking, so he has no intention of quitting.However, if he is allowed to smoke one less cigarette every day, then he will feel that it is an easy task, and if he smokes one less cigarette, he will smoke one less!As a result, if he persisted for a long time, he would find that he really quit smoking gradually.
For this kind of phenomenon, people are used to describe it as "making progress with an inch"... In fact, all these concepts reflect the truth: first make a small request, and then make a larger request, which is easier to accumulatively increase. success.
And controlling others and controlling others also belong to this kind of thing.The reason for saying this is that when we make difficult or large requests to others at once, the other party's psychology changes greatly, and it is difficult to accept it in a short period of time, so they will naturally refuse.However, if people make small requests to others, the other party will feel that it is a trivial matter, and they will accept it naturally.When he unknowingly gets involved in this matter because he agreed to this small request, he will feel that a larger request is also acceptable based on the accumulation of the last time.
The "threshold effect" tells people that when doing things, most people often have a psychological tendency to avoid the important and take the easy.And just because most people have such psychological characteristics, those smart people often use it flexibly when trying to make others accept their opinions, viewpoints and doing things, accumulating little to big, from small to large .
Big requests need to be broken down into small ones
In life, everyone may have had this experience: If people are asked to do something that is easy to do, people will often accept it without hesitation; When asking, they are often not so generous, and even directly refuse the other party.For example, if a friend is going to the street, if you ask her to bring a pair of socks first, most of the friends will happily agree to you; then, if you ask her to bring a pair of slippers, she may not refuse; "You can help me bring some small ornaments!" She may think that she has brought two different things anyway, and it is not bad, so she can help you bring back the ornaments.However, if you tell your friend directly at the beginning to help you bring socks, slippers, and accessories, she may feel that there are so many things, too troublesome, and she is unwilling to help you bring.
Therefore, when controlling and controlling others, in order to better realize the big request in their hearts, those smart people usually work hard on the small request, and then gradually transition to the big request.
Encourage people to do the easiest tasks
Sometimes, when asking the other person to do something, you will find that your request is big, and you also know that the other person is likely to refuse.At this time, instead of holding the mentality of trying and waiting for the other party to refuse, you might as well divide it into small things, and then encourage them to complete those small things or tasks that are easiest to complete, and then accumulate step by step.In this way, it may be easier for you to control the other party and control the other party to accept your big request.
For example, as a subordinate, you want to persuade the leader to do things according to your point of view and method. If you directly say to the leader, "My method is more effective than your method", then the leader will definitely reject you angrily.But if you let the leader listen to your opinions and methods first, the leader will probably feel that it doesn't hurt to listen.In fact, by the time he's finished listening to your ideas and methods, he may have realized that your method is more effective.At this point, when you persuade the leader to do something according to your method, in most cases, he will agree.
·The law of mind control·
Smart people often don't directly ask too difficult questions at once, but ask a question that is relatively easy for the other party.After the other party agrees, they will make further and larger requests.In other words, you will achieve your goals step by step from small to large.
Expectation effect:
Your expectations, you need to show him a bright future
Shivape took office as the president of Carnegie Corporation. The first thing he had to solve after he took office was to persuade Pilpat Morgan to buy Carnegie's steel company.Before that, both Carnegie and Gary tried to make this big deal with Morgan, but they were unsuccessful.
Soon, Shiwap specially held a banquet and invited many bankers in New York, and Morgan was undoubtedly one of the important ones.At the banquet, Shivapu made a wonderful speech.He envisioned a bright future for the steel industry, emphasizing the notion that mergers between companies can significantly increase efficiency and ultimately promote healthy competition, an industrial combination that creates enormous wealth for the promoters...he does not specify Any firm should do that without revealing how much it gravitates toward Morgan.
As a result, it was such a speech that made Morgan find him immediately after the banquet and had a pleasant exchange with him.After the exchange, Shwap sold Carnegie's Steel Company to Morgan for $4.92 million.
Why did Carnegie and Gary fail to persuade Morgan, while Shwap succeeded in convincing Morgan to buy the steel company with just one speech?From the whole incident, it is not difficult for people to find the strategy used by Shiwap: to attract the other party by painting a bright prospect for the other party, and then let the other party actively find themselves.
For the strategy of attracting the other party by painting a bright prospect for the other party, it is classified in the category of expectation effect in psychology.In other words, according to your thoughts and expectations, describe to the other party a beautiful direction and prospect that you want him to go, so that it is easier to attract the other party to do things according to your ideas.
So, what is the expectancy effect?The expectation effect is also called the Pygmalion effect.To put it simply, in interpersonal communication, the abundant affection and high expectations of one party can cause subtle but profound changes in the other party.But the realization of this link often requires people to adopt the method of painting a bright future for the other party to execute.
We are not unfamiliar with the phenomenon of using bright prospects to attract others to realize their expectations in our hearts. For example, we may often have such an experience. When we want friends to accompany us on a trip or vacation, if If you directly tell your friends to go on a trip or vacation, your friends may not be willing, and sometimes they even directly reject you.However, if you tell him directly how beautiful the place you are going to is, there are dense forests, wild flowers all over the mountains, and many exciting and fun things... You will find that your friend’s description of you is often full of expectations and yearning , and then want to travel with you.And just when your friend agrees to travel with you, in fact, what you expected in your heart has come true.
So, why when we want someone to do something, it is easier to control the other person, control the other person, and then move forward according to our own thinking?This is because when we paint a bright prospect and a bright future to others, the other's desires and interests can't help being ignited.And once the other party's desire is aroused, he will be sincerely interested in this matter, even like it, and will be more willing to devote himself to this matter.And when a person feels that he wants to join something or even like something, if you ask him to do this thing or like this thing, will he still refuse?I believe it will not.
But when using this strategy, you must also master the method, that is, you must also master some skills when describing a bright future to the other party.For example, when describing, try to use language packaging to stimulate the other party's desire; at the same time, you must also grasp the timing and occasion, so the effect will often be better.
The bright future of language "packaging"
People often say: "What is done by man is what is said by man." In fact, this seemingly common saying contains profound truths: each person's speaking method and content are different, and the effect will be different.
In fact, this trick is more important in portraying a bright future to others in order to better achieve the desired goal in your heart.Because whether the other party can see a bright future and bright prospects, in fact, your description accounts for seven points.That is to say, when you describe the prospect of something, you must speak clearly, impeccably, and impeccably, so as to stimulate the other party's imagination.Once the other person's imagination is developing in the direction you designed for him, the moment you influence him is getting closer and closer.
When the other person is in a good mood, paint a bright future for him
Everyone may have experienced this: when you are in a good mood, you may not feel bored by what others say.But when I am in a bad mood, even if others say good things, I will feel upset when I hear them, and I am unwilling to continue the discussion.
This tells us that when controlling others, controlling others, and accepting your own opinions, viewpoints, and methods, even if you are painting a bright future for the other party, you should choose when the other party is in a good mood, so that the other party will be more likely to accept you. , which in turn is affected by you.
·The law of mind control·
When people describe a bright prospect and a bright future to others, the desires and interests of the other party can't help being ignited.Once the other party's desire is aroused, he will be sincerely interested in this matter, even like it, and will be more willing to devote himself to this matter.
Principle of path dependence:
To learn to use the "path dependence" psychology
When it comes to Dell computers, I am afraid that everyone knows it, because Dell himself can be described as a myth of wealth in the international IT industry.The development of Dell Computer is closely related to Dell's marketing model, which has two types, namely "direct sales model" and "market segmentation model".As for the establishment of these two marketing models, Michael Dell, the founder of Dell, once said: "This concept has been established as early as my youth."
When Dale was 12 years old, he loved collecting stamps.But in order to save money, he didn't want to sell stamps from the auction, but persuaded a neighbor who also liked collecting stamps and worked in a professional publication to help him advertise the sale of stamps in the publication.Unexpectedly, he made $2000.With the first time, he often thought about eliminating those intermediate links and contacting customers directly, and this evolved into his later "direct sales model".
When he was in junior high school, Dell started to get in touch with computers and started a computer-related business.He found that there was a big price difference in the process of buying parts and assembling them and then selling them.At the same time, most people who operated computers at that time could not provide this technical support to customers.This inspired him to save those middlemen and assemble computers by himself, which not only has a price advantage, but also designs products according to customer requirements.In this way, the "direct sales model" and the "market segmentation model" were born.
Why did the method used by Michael Dell at the age of 12 last until junior high school, so that he could still use it in the sales model when he grew up and started a company?This is because, to some extent, Michael Dale was influenced by the "path dependence" psychology in psychology.
So, what is path dependence psychology?To put it simply, there is a kind of inertia in people's thinking, and they often do things according to past behaviors and laws.Therefore, once people make a certain choice, the force of inertia will make this choice self-reinforcing and prevent people from going out easily.
It can be said that the psychology of "path dependence" is an inherent psychological characteristic of people. It is not just Michael Dell who is affected by this psychology. Many people and many things in life are affected by this psychology to some extent.Because people are susceptible to this psychology, those who are wise can always use this psychology well to make people serve themselves.For example, as a mother, Yang Xue cleverly used this psychology to effectively control and control her son.
Yang Xue's son has started elementary school and has officially learned English.But my son just doesn't like English, and he hates memorizing words even more.In order to change her son's dislike of learning English, Yang Xue did this:
One day, she saw a car model on the street, and bought it for her son on a brainwave.When she got home, her son was watching cartoons.She smiled and took out the toy from her bag, and asked her son: "Honey, what do you think this is?" When the son saw it, he exclaimed happily: "Car!" "Do you like it?" Yang Xue continued to ask.The son jumped up and kept saying: "I like it, I like it!" The son happily took the car from her.
After a while, she smiled and asked her son, "Honey, you like cars so much, do you know what a car is called in England?" .” Yang Xue clearly told his son the word car, which immediately aroused his son’s interest, and then he memorized the word car.And she used this method to gradually change her son's bad habit of not liking English and hating memorizing words.
It is not difficult to see from Yang Xue's change of her son's learning of English. Her cleverness lies in that she does not use coercive methods to force her son to learn English, but uses her son's path-dependent psychology to skillfully use it to control her son, Driving my son to learn English.
So, why is path-dependent psychology more effective than common methods in controlling and controlling others?In this regard, psychologists have used the "impulse" and "inertia" in physics to explain its role.That is to say, once a person enters a certain state or chooses, he will become dependent on this way of thinking, and then continue to move in the same direction along this thinking path.
Although this strategy is more conducive to people's control and control over others, when using this strategy, one must master the corresponding methods in order to achieve immediate results.The specific method is as follows:
You need to master the method of "throwing bricks to attract jade"
When it comes to "throwing bricks to attract jade", everyone is no stranger.But there are not many people who really know how to use this method in life, especially when controlling others, even less people use this method.In fact, the method of throwing bricks to attract jade often has unique effects in controlling and controlling others.
The so-called "throwing bricks to attract jade" strategy, as the name implies, is to use one's own immature or small opinions and things to draw out better things from others.That is to say, when controlling others, you can use those insignificant things in yourself to attract others.For example, as a leader, you want your subordinates to better accept your opinions, do things for you, and follow your instructions. Instead of trying to persuade them how to do it, you don’t know how to directly attract them by giving some bonuses or small rewards. , Inspire each other.And when the other party really works hard for this and improves work efficiency, in fact, the small capital you have paid has already been rewarded, so why not do it?Therefore, if you want to become a master at controlling and controlling others, you must first understand the path-dependent strategy of "throwing bricks to attract jade".
Good at designing different levels of "trap" for the target
In life, we often find such a phenomenon: sometimes a lot of words may be said, but the other party is not impressed; but sometimes it is only a few understatement words that can successfully control others to do things for themselves.The main reason why there is such a big difference between the two lies in whether they know how to design different levels of "trap" for their own goals, and a small goal is something that people can easily agree to and achieve.
Therefore, those smart people always design their goals into countless small goals, and then encourage people to achieve them one by one. When people complete one small goal after another, the ultimate goal is naturally realized.Therefore, the principle of path dependence that is good at designing different levels of "trap" for the target really needs to be mastered.
·The law of mind control·
From a certain point of view, the principle of path dependence is similar to the "impulse" and "inertia" in physics.That is to say, once a person enters a certain state or chooses, he will have a psychological dependence on this way of thinking, and then continue along this thinking path like inertia.
Caterpillar effect:
If you can't go all the way, you have to change your thinking
At a job fair, a large company is hiring.The queue of candidates is very long, and many of them are highly educated and have a good image.But the final result surprised everyone: After those applicants with high academic qualifications and good image were successfully employed, another girl with an unattractive appearance was admitted.
Later, one of the interviewers said something like this: When she first sat down to prepare for the interview, most of us could see that she did not meet the standards required by the company for this position.So, we simply turned her down.However, she did not leave because of our rejection, but asked us if other positions in the company were suitable for her.If there is a suitable position, she is also willing to come to the company.
All of us present were touched by her witty actions and her behavior of saying things in a different way.So, then we decided to hire her for another position.
From the whole process, it is not difficult to find that the reason why this unattractive girl was able to successfully influence the interviewer and let the company admit her in the process of job hunting was that when she found that the first way was not working, I can change my thinking and direction in time, and talk about job hunting from another angle.It was her timely change of thinking that found the opportunity for herself to enter a big company.
Seeing what girls do, one has to mention the caterpillar effect in psychology.The so-called caterpillar effect was derived by the French psychologist John Farber in the caterpillar experiment. It mainly emphasizes the phenomenon of blindly sticking to the stereotyped follow-up and not knowing how to be flexible, which often leads to failure.Later, it was summarized by psychologists as: people are used to follow or use the ideas and methods of their predecessors to do things, so as to solve problems in a fixed thinking mode.This tends to paralyze people's creativity and is not conducive to better problem solving.
Similar to the habitual following phenomenon of "caterpillars", this is also a mistake people often make in life.For example, people may find such a phenomenon: when some people put forward their own suggestions to the leader, the leader has already rejected him, but he still insists on it.But if you persist, you will find that not only did he fail to persuade the leader to accept his suggestion, but instead made the leader feel bored with him.
On the other hand, if you look at those smart people, you will find that when they let the other party accept their point of view and do things, they often don't directly hit the south wall after hitting a wall, but say it from another angle. Thinking to do it, the result is successful.Clay Mensall is such a smart guy.
After World War I, Clay Menthor advocated for a peace conference at Versailles.But when he was preparing to carry out the plan, he found that the issue would be disputed, because Lloyd George and Colonel House preferred the meeting to be held in Geneva.He knew that if he still put forward the proposition he insisted on at that time, he must not be sure, because he did not have strong evidence to convince everyone.Therefore, he avoided this issue and did not bring it up for discussion at the meeting at that time, but said that it would be left for future discussion.After a period of time, he made detailed plans and made sufficient preparations, and finally he succeeded in having the Peace Conference held at Versailles.Here, I have to say that Clay Menthor is smart, and his smartness is knowing how to talk about things from a different angle and solve problems with a different way of thinking at the right time.
So, why is it easier to control and control others when you change your mind to exert influence on others when it doesn't work all the way?This is because when you say it from a different angle and thinking, the other party will first feel a sense of freshness, and then no longer have the "limitation mentality" when you rejected you last time, and take the problem you said as a new one. When you think about it, you will have another feeling, from which you will have the possibility to accept you.
In addition, we should also understand the truth that the other party has rejected you before, if you insist on asking the other party stubbornly, insisting on getting them to agree with you, or even persuading the other party to support you and agree with you over and over again, then the other party’s heart is bound to be There will be an emotion of impatience, which will lead to greater rebellious psychology towards you, and even a mentality of fighting with you to the death.At this time, if you want to influence the other party, it must be even more difficult.
In order to use this strategy more effectively, you must also master the following specific methods:
talk about things from a different angle
We all have this experience. Sometimes when expressing a point of view or saying something to the other party, if you say it directly, you may be strongly opposed or even rejected by the other party.But if it is euphemistically changed from another angle, the situation may be completely different.For example, it is also for the health of the husband, and I hope that the husband will not smoke. If the wife directly reprimands the husband to stop smoking, the husband may not only fail to appreciate his wife's concern for him, but may even become a little impatient.However, if the wife can change the angle and say to her husband: "You have recently smoked more frequently, is there something wrong with it, try to smoke as little as possible, it is not good for your health." At this time, I am afraid that the husband will not only Naturally pinch the cigarette, but also feel his wife's love for him.
Temporarily avoiding it is also a strategy to change thinking
When you ask the other person to do something or get the other person to agree with what you said, but the other person's voice disagrees, be sure not to insist.In fact, the best way at this time is to temporarily avoid some collisions that may arise between you.Sometimes, the reason why you encounter non-cooperation from the other party may not be that there is something wrong with your request itself, but that the other party happens to be emotionally fluctuating or angry, and then rejects your opinions.After a while, when the other party is calm, you mention this matter again, and you will find that the situation is often quite different.
In addition, when he rejects you for the first time, he will be more or less impressed.In this way, when you propose it again next time, he will reluctantly agree due to many reasons such as being embarrassed to reject you again.
·The law of mind control·
When you say it from a different angle and thinking, the other party will first feel a sense of freshness, and then they will no longer have the "limitation mentality" when they rejected you last time, and will consider the problem you said as a new problem. , so he will also have another feeling, from which there is the possibility of accepting you.
Forbidden Fruit Reverse Psychology:
Appropriate "appetite" will get twice the result with half the effort
When the French agronomist Perlman was studying in Germany, he knew and understood potatoes, so he planned to promote planting in France.But after returning to France, because some doctors believed that this kind of strange potato was harmful to health, and some people asserted that potatoes would make the land barren, so people agreed that potatoes were "ghost apples" and refused to grow them.
In this way, in France, potato cultivation has not been vigorously promoted.Later, Perlman thought of a way.He cultivated potatoes in a well-known field, and asked the king to send a heavily armed guard to guard the edge of the field, and no one would be allowed to approach it.But these guards only concentrate on guarding during the day, and at night, those who should be withdrawn will be withdrawn, those who should rest should rest, and those who should sleep should sleep.
People always felt that what the king tried his best to protect must be good, and they also became very interested in the potatoes on this land, and discovered the rule that the soldiers did not guard carefully at night.So, at night, like a treasure, he secretly went to dig potatoes and introduced them to his field.And it is through this method that the cultivation of potatoes has been rapidly promoted in France.
Why is the potato, which was originally known as the "ghost apple", so popular in France and finally promoted quickly?In this regard, psychologists believe that the method of being guarded by the king's guard as thought by the agronomist Perlman played a crucial role.The reason for saying this is that Perlman cleverly used the "forbidden fruit rebellion psychology" in psychology to attract people's attention to potatoes, and then indirectly control them to grow potatoes.
So, what is forbidden fruit reverse psychology?The so-called forbidden fruit reverse psychology refers to the fact that the prohibition with insufficient reasons can easily arouse people's stronger desire to explore.Specifically, it is the special attraction caused by not being able to get it.
Everyone is no stranger to the phenomenon of forbidden fruit reverse psychology.For example, you may often find this phenomenon: the more adults do not let children touch or know about certain things, the more children will be interested in them; the more forbidden certain movies and books are, the more popular they become...
Why are things that were originally forbidden, so popular and so attractive?This is because people have a common psychology - curiosity.And when you take a series of measures to try to prohibit certain things, it will stimulate the curiosity deep in your heart, and then under the guidance of this kind of psychology, you will have a strong interest in those things that are prohibited and not easy to get .
Since people will have a strong interest in something or something because they are forbidden, when people try to make others accept their ideas and do things for themselves, they can use this method skillfully to provide Serve yourself.
Appropriate "appetite" can get twice the result with half the effort
We have all experienced this kind of "forbidden fruit": the more difficult it is to get something, the more we will cherish it, and the easier it is to get, the less impression we will have.And the appetite is undoubtedly a powerful factor that aggravates this kind of psychology.This is why many boys chase girls. If they spend a lot of thought but fail to pursue them, even after many years, he may still remember her and even have a deep impression on her.
This tells us that when you want someone to do something, you can not directly ask him how to do it, but take some measures to make the other person feel that you are prohibiting him or not allowing him to do it , or even slowly satisfy the other party's appetite, and then let him do it.As a result, he may be more aggressive than before.
Attract each other with the "unobtainable" method
We also tend to have this kind of mentality: we are often impressed by what we can't get.Just like Zhang Ailing said: "If you take a red rose, over time, the red rose will become a smear of mosquito blood on the wall, and the white rose will still be 'the bright moonlight in front of your bed'; The red one is a cinnabar mole on the heart." In fact, Zhang Ailing's words also express the influence of the forbidden fruit's rebellious psychology from a certain angle.
Since people are impressed by what they can't get, you can effectively use this method when you master others and do things for yourself.That is to say, if you want the other party to do something, you can play against him appropriately and attract him with things you can't get, so that he may be more easily influenced by you, and then more willing to be controlled by you.For example, if a child wants a toy and you want him to study hard, you can encourage the child to say that if you pass the exam this time, your mother will buy you that toy as a reward.If you don't do well in the exam, don't blame your mother for being rude, and you won't be able to get that beloved toy.
·The law of mind control·
People tend to develop a strong interest in things that are forbidden and not easily available.Because of this, when you try to get others to accept your ideas and do things for yourself, you can skillfully use the methods of "stimulating appetite" and "not being able to get it" to stimulate this kind of psychology, and further improve your self-confidence. Control each other well and control each other.
Rosenthal Effect:
Tell him you'll be what I imagined you to be
Ever since Marshall was born, his father, John Field, had always hoped that he would grow up to be a rich man.Therefore, when Marshall was very young, he sent Marshall to work as a clerk in Davis's store, hoping that he would feel the atmosphere of a businessman and learn some business skills from an early age.
But Marshall didn't like being a clerk in someone else's shop.Therefore, during his work as a clerk in the shop, he always showed various rebellious behaviors.Some time later, John Field came into the store and asked Davis if Marshall was fit to be a businessman.Davis told him bluntly: "Marshall is not a businessman, no matter how many years he has studied in the shop."
John Feld was very confused about this, but this did not make him give up his belief in training his son to be an outstanding businessman.One day, on the pretext of chatting with Marshall, he called Marshall to his side and started a relaxed and meaningful conversation with him.He told Marshall that he hoped that he would develop into a successful businessman, and placed deep expectations on him.
In the days that followed, he sent Marshall out again, this time to Chicago.This time, he didn't deliberately oppose anything rebelliously as he did at the beginning, nor did he take any actions he didn't like, but gradually developed and learned according to what his father told him.In this way, Marshall witnessed the successful experiences of many rich people in Chicago, and finally made an amazing career himself.
From the fact that John Field successfully managed Marshall to learn how to do business obediently according to his own ideas, it is not difficult to find his shrewdness: after learning that his son did not follow his own ideas, obediently After being a buddy and learning how to do business, he didn't blame or criticize his son, but patiently told his son what he thought, and guided him on the path he imagined.
For John Feld's behavior of directly telling his son that he hopes he will develop into a businessman, it is listed as the category of "Rosenthal Effect" in psychology.The so-called "Rosenthal effect", in a nutshell, is that you give the other party some kind of psychological hints like hope, trust, praise and expectation. Sometimes it has an infinite energy and can easily change the behavior of others.
The phenomenon of using this strategy to serve oneself can be found everywhere in life, but sometimes people don't pay enough attention to it, and then they can't exert great effects.Sometimes, we often see such a phenomenon: in a company, some subordinates may be passive and slow down because they are dissatisfied with certain things, and the boss will call him into the office with encouragement He said in a tone: I have performed well recently (actually, I talked to him because of his poor performance), work hard, and I will definitely promote you if I have a chance to be promoted in the future; perform well, and I will give you a salary increase in two months... The truth is, the boss did nothing but state the fact that the employee should do a good job.But just like that, the passive sabotage situation of the subordinates has obviously improved.
This trick of the boss also falls within the scope of the "Rosenthal effect", and it also gives us such a warning: when necessary, instead of trying to ask the other party what to do, it is better to tell the other party directly. The other party, what do you want him to do.
You should know that this method of telling the other party that you want him to be what you imagine with direct or indirect words and actions will help the other party develop characteristics corresponding to this expectation.In other words, your words will germinate in him a sense of responsibility for being given expectations.Therefore, in many cases, even if it is to live up to the expectations you gave him, he will behave more positively.
But when using this strategy, also pay attention to: When telling others, there must be some kind of positive expectation in the words, and there should be trust in the words.
When telling someone to be who you imagined to be, use expectations in your words
When you hope that the other party will develop in a certain direction and tell him this direction, you must have certain expectations, so that the other party is more likely to be influenced.Otherwise, if you just blindly demand the other party without expectations, you will easily have rebellious emotions towards convenience, and then you will not want to be influenced by you.
And those smart people are undoubtedly those who know how to use this method.For example, if you are a smart teacher and you want students to listen carefully to the class, then when playing games or talking with students, you should talk to students with the expectation that they should listen carefully in class: only students who listen carefully in class, Only then will they be liked by the teacher and praised by the classmates... In this way, most of the students will be more serious when they are in class.
have trust in your words
In life, we often have this kind of experience. When others trust us and firmly believe that you can do something well, we often have an incomparable sense of honor in our hearts.This sense of honor will prompt us to work harder in one thing to maintain the trust and support given by others.
This tells us that for those smart people, when they want the other party to do things according to their own wishes and develop according to their own ideas, they often have full trust in their words.In other words, sometimes their success stems from the trust they reveal to each other in their words.Because they often understand that trust can make the other party feel that they are trusted, and they will follow orders more actively.
·The law of mind control·
Use direct or indirect words and actions to tell the other party that you want him to be what you imagined, which will help the other party to develop characteristics corresponding to this expectation.In other words, your words will germinate in him a sense of responsibility for being given expectations.Therefore, in many cases, even if it is to live up to the expectations you gave him, he will behave more positively.
Twenty-eight rule:
Making the best use of key resources enables everyone to perform at their best
William Moore is the chairman of the famous American enterprise Kelly-Moore Company. After he succeeded, many people paid attention to the secret of his success.In this regard, William Moore once made a statement to people like this:
His first job was as a salesman, mainly responsible for selling Glidden's paint.He's frustratingly earning $160 for a month of desperately running around the streets.He couldn't figure out what he was not doing well enough.
One day, he saw this sentence in the Jewish business wisdom: "80% of the social wealth is in the hands of 20% of the people." Later, he carefully observed his sales chart and found that 80% of his income also came from 20% of his clients, and he spends the same amount of time on all of them.
This discovery allowed him to find out why he only made $160.Therefore, in the subsequent sales process, he put his main energy on those customers who are most likely to buy the product, and for those customers who are hesitant, some choose to give up, and some spend half of their efforts to win. .As a result, after the implementation of this method, he easily earned $1000, and in the following days, his sales performance has been ranked among the top in the company.And that's the secret of his success.
According to the normal understanding, William Moore can only sell more paint if he devotes all his energy to each customer.However, from the fact that William Moore finally experienced, it is not difficult to find that he can only sell more paint if he spends 80% of his efforts on the 20% of customers who are most likely to buy his products.
Why is there such a phenomenon?This refers to the "[-]th rule" in psychology.Because the secret discovered by William Moore in Jewish business wisdom is actually the "[-]th Rule", and it is precisely because of the effective use of the "[-]th Rule" that William Moore achieved success.
For the "20th rule", not many people may know about it. The "80th Rule", also known as "Pareto's Law", was proposed by the Italian economist Pareto.He once pointed out: No matter what kind of things, the important aspect often only accounts for a small part, about 20%; while the minor part accounts for the majority, about 80%.But don't underestimate the [-]%, because it is important, so if you control it, it is often easier to mobilize the [-]% to control the overall situation.Later, people called this phenomenon the "[-]th rule".
For this strategy, those smart managers are undoubtedly the ones who know how to use it to their advantage.For example, in life, we often see such a phenomenon: the company's bosses and upper-level people often invite the company's management to dinner, and invite them to travel together, and give them some extra preferential treatment, but they will not treat those small Employees and subordinates have too much care and love.In fact, the reason why the bosses and the upper management do this is very simple, that is, they know that as long as they catch these management people and let them work for them willingly, those people can mobilize the talents of other people in the company. Strength, and then ensure the operation of the entire company.
Why does the "[-]th rule" have such a great effect on controlling and controlling others?This is because it reveals to us such a truth: When controlling others and controlling a thing, we must distinguish between primary and secondary, understand the severity, and distinguish between the front and the back. Center, grasp the key, find and make full use of the key resources that serve you, and then you can get the optimal allocation of resources, so that others can maximize their effectiveness.
Although grasping those main forces is more conducive to the development of things, and it is also more conducive to mobilizing people around you to act according to your thinking, but when using this strategy, you must also understand its efficacy and related precautions, so that Only when it is used can it be used with ease.
Using the "[-]th rule", you must know how to distinguish between primary and secondary
In life, we are often taught to do everything well, but the reality is that human abilities are limited, and it is impossible to do everything equally well, let alone devote [-]% of our energy all the time All mobilized out.The same goes for mastering others.
And the cleverness of those smart people is that they know how to distinguish between the primary and the secondary, and are good at grasping the most important parts for themselves, and then make full use of this part.Just when he has made good use of the resources of this main part, in fact, he has obtained what should be obtained and controlled the people who should be controlled.
Using the "[-]th rule", the most important thing is to find the most critical resources
The reason why it is advocated to know how to use the "20" rule when controlling one thing, understanding and controlling others is because the "[-] rule" can improve the efficiency of doing things, and the improvement of efficiency is undoubtedly related to the most critical resources are closely related.This tells us that if you want to be a smart person who controls others, you must find out the [-]% that is most critical to you.
This is because, only when you know which is important, can you grasp it accurately, well, and finely, and then you can give full play to your strengths and use them for yourself, so as to better mobilize the remaining 80%.
·The law of mind control·
When controlling others and controlling one thing, you must distinguish between primary and secondary, understand the importance, and distinguish the front and back. You should not "grasp the eyebrows and beards at once", but should focus on the key points, the center, and the key, and find and make full use of what serves you. Only then can the optimal allocation of resources be obtained, so that others can maximize their effectiveness.
Inspiration from earthworm crawling:
Appropriate compromise, forbearance, and renunciation are to lure the enemy into deep
In the 19s, as the war had just ended and Japan’s economy was recovering, and Swiss watches occupied the main market, Japan’s Seikosha, whose main industry was the production of mechanical watches, fell into a very difficult stage.
At this time, Hattori Shoji officially became the general manager of Seikosha.Although he has been working hard on quality and price since he took office, he still cannot occupy a favorable market position, and the company was once in danger of going bankrupt.After careful consideration, Hattori Shoji made a bold decision: to temporarily abandon the production of mechanical watches and develop new products instead.After learning of this decision, many people at the time expressed their incomprehension, and some even persuaded the Ministry that Shoji was destroying the achievements of his predecessors bit by bit.
But after several years of hard work, Hattori Masaji finally led the members of the company to successfully launch the quartz electronic watch into the market.Once this watch was put on the market, it caused a sensation in the watch industry and the world because of its accurate travel time and small error.By the 19s, Seikosha had become a world-renowned large-scale enterprise, and its sales volume has consistently ranked first in the world.
From Hattori Zhengji's bold abandonment of the original mechanical watch production, and his success in developing quartz watches, it is not difficult to find the strategy he used: a process from backward to forward.
And seeing this process, we have to mention the theory of "earthworm crawling" in psychology.When an earthworm is moving forward, we often see that its curved body retreats every time it climbs a step, and it will continue to move forward after each retreat.But it is this reciprocating movement that can make it crawl very far.When used in interpersonal relationships, it is to temporarily "retreat" just to change an angle, change a direction, or make some space so that you can move forward better.
From the perspective of controlling and controlling others, it tells us: If you want to effectively control and control others, you must know how to compromise and make concessions when necessary, because most of your compromises are not retreats. It is an important part of winning people's hearts and gaining momentum.And when you gain enough hearts, if you want others to accept your views, opinions, and do things for you, the other party will not only agree to you, but will also willingly work for you.
And those smart people are undoubtedly those who know how to use this strategy.For example, in life, we often find that those who have good popularity in the company and win the appreciation of the boss and the trust of colleagues are often not those who like to show off their quick words, nor are they those who like to show off and steal performance in everything , let alone those who gossip, and those who tell the truth, but those who often give in to each other verbally, who never haggle over small things, but never ambiguous about major things.And when he not only wins the favor of the boss, but also wins the favor of his colleagues, what good things such as salary increase and promotion can not be him?
Then, why do compromise and forbearance at the right time play such a big role in controlling others and gaining momentum for oneself?In this regard, psychology believes that this is because an appropriate compromise can satisfy the opponent's competitive psychology, and then it is easy to win people's hearts.
At the same time, proper compromise can also avoid incurring conflicts and create a relatively "peaceful" environment for yourself, which in turn makes it easier for you to control and control others.Just imagine, a person who likes to care about others in everything, and likes to compete with others every day, will he have fewer "enemies"?Will there be fewer people who have conflicts with him?Certainly not.And when most people around you have conflicts with you and regard you as a thorn in their side and a thorn in their flesh, is it possible for you to try to get him to do things for you and support you?I'm afraid it's too late for the other party to object.
Although appropriate compromises are easier to lure the enemy into intensifying, compromises must be made according to the situation, and at the same time, conditions must be paid attention to.Only then will you be able to better use this strategy to serve yourself.
Compromise is about working on the little things
In order to better win people's hearts, people can compromise on some things, but not everything can be compromised, but to focus on those small things, people are used to describe it as "small things".That is to say, in life, you don't need to waste all your resources on useless fights, those unnecessary daily chores that should be given up should be given up, those that should be tolerated should be tolerated, and those that should be silent should be silent.
This is because shrinking back on these things can not only show your heart, but also make it easy for others to feel that you are a friendly and kind person, and thus they are more willing to associate and get close to you.When a person is willing to associate with you and get close to you, if you ask him to do things for you and support you, will he still refuse?I believe most of the time it will not.
You need to let others know that you are compromising and not afraid
When a smart person uses a compromise strategy, he will not only tolerate, compromise, and give up on small things to the other party, but also let the other party see that his compromise is out of consideration for the overall situation, or out of tolerance for the other party, not Afraid of the opponent's strength.
The reason for this is simple, only when the other party realizes that you are forbearing him, will he feel a little awe of you.And when he thinks you are afraid of him, he won't pay enough attention to you, and even treat you like a persimmon.At this time, if you want to effectively control the other party, I am afraid it will not be so easy.
·The law of mind control·
Appropriate compromise can satisfy the other party's competitive psychology, and then it is easy to win people's hearts.At the same time, proper compromise can also avoid incurring conflicts and create a relatively "peaceful" environment for oneself, which is more conducive to controlling and controlling others.
(End of this chapter)
Tap the screen to use advanced tools
Tip: You can use left and right keyboard keys to browse between chapters.
You'll Also Like
-
One Piece Talk King: Starting with Commentary on Devil Fruits
Chapter 97 12 hours ago -
Land of Light: I am Supermodel Tiga, One-Punch King
Chapter 247 12 hours ago -
I, the Masked Swordsman, started my journey through a Lostbelt.
Chapter 286 12 hours ago -
While writing a diary at Zongwu, Wang Yuyan falls in love with someone else.
Chapter 292 12 hours ago -
Promoting the Konoha threat theory, and talking about the Hidden Mist Belt!
Chapter 87 12 hours ago -
Courtyard Houses: Starting as a Purchasing Agent
Chapter 367 12 hours ago -
Crossover anime, the harem life of a healing sorcerer
Chapter 155 12 hours ago -
Hogwarts: Oh no, I've become Voldemort!
Chapter 91 12 hours ago -
Hong Kong Ghost Story: I've become an apprentice of Chung Fat-pak and will only play in the pea
Chapter 212 12 hours ago -
Runeterra: I actually know a little bit about everything
Chapter 220 12 hours ago
