new wife of the president

Chapter 155

Many things happen the more you are afraid of them, and often catch you off guard.


I didn't expect that Xianhan would secretly copy down the names of the medicines I was taking while I was asleep and show them to Qu Yi.And Qu Yi, who was already wary of me, was an authority in the brain department of a certain hospital before starting a business, so he was naturally very clear about the pharmacological effects of those drugs.


So he couldn't wait to come to me and asked me to tell him everything.


He was like an enraged beast, furious at my refusal to confess, all kinds of threats and harsh words were useless, he was finally cornered by me, and threatened to ask Xianhan to ask me in person.


Very well, he finally knows that the only Achilles heel of the selfish, ruthless me is Xianhan.All things related to Xianhan can successfully pull my emotions, so that I have to drag it out even if I don't want to.


And when he learned that my life was coming to an end because of a brain tumor, so I gave up Xianhan, his eyes were cold.


"You knew you were going to die, so you decided to give up Xianhan? Li Chenrui, do you want to be so selfish!"


It turns out that the word 'selfish' is already a permanent label engraved on me that everyone can see and can never be torn off.


No matter what I did, it was always selfish.


So, what should I do to not be selfish?What can I do to make Xianhan not suffer and I can not let others think I am selfish?


"... A disaster like yours must have lasted for thousands of years. If you really suffered from some incurable disease, you would definitely not wait here to die without changing your face. Selfish, even if you are terminally ill, you will not give up Xianhan to make yourself suffer." Qu Yi's ridicule of me that night still echoed in my ears.


Oh, I don't want to wait to die.But so what?Professor Zhan said that the success rate of the operation is only [-]%, and there will be some amnesia, amblyopia or even blindness more or less after the operation.


Ten percent success rate!What is this concept?This means that the risk of failure of the operation is as high as 90.00%!Unless a miracle happens, once the operation fails, the remaining time for me will no longer be a year or half a year, but I will die during the operation!


I don't believe in miracles.The so-called miracles are all tricks of self-deception.Without surgery, as long as I can control it well, I can live a few more months.While it's possible that I might experience memory loss or blurry vision during those months, it's better than having surgery and dying during it.


Because I love Xianhan so much, I gave up without hesitation after learning that I had a brain tumor.Even then I wasn't sure if she loved me at all.But she is already living in pain, no matter what, I can't add a fire to her pain and burn her to ashes.


And now that I know her feelings for me, it is even more impossible to be with her.


How can I, how can I be willing, to let her watch my life disappear little by little... Just like seven years ago, after Qu Yi lied to me that Yuwei died, I once lived a walking dead, as if every day was the end of the world life.


How deep is the love for Xianhan, I think, so far, even I have no way to measure it clearly.


In my memory, there is always a pair of shining eyes secretly staring at me with admiration.At that time, I only thought that the younger sister of the Gu family worshiped me like she worshiped her elder brother Gu Sihan, but I didn't expect that she would have a heart of admiration for me when she was ten years old.


Everyone thought my indifference was natural.Indeed, there is no such thing as love in my world.Everything around me is tainted with money, power, fame and fortune.Those flattering smiling faces in front of you are just their protective masks. The brighter they smile at you, the more cruel they may secretly harm you.


Like my father's half brother.Immediately after my father's death, he used the position of acting president non-stop to drive me out of Lijia Yizhu Xianwei.


My world is full of betrayal and calculation.So I don't understand love.When Yuwei married me instead of Qiu Jingming and used her love to melt my cold heart little by little, and affect my emotions, I didn't know that at that time I had already started to care about her, liked her, and even loved her fucked her.


I hate anything that is beyond my expectations.Of course it includes feelings.I was terrified that I would change because of her and refused to admit that I had developed feelings for her.I hurt her with sneering words time and time again, making her despair, and forcing her to the point where she wanted to run away from me.But every time I think of her leaving me, I get flustered.


Because no one taught me how to love, and no one told me that the feeling of wanting to stay with the other person is love.So I will only selfishly use my usual tough methods to force her to stay.But after letting her stay, I didn't let go of my figure and disdain to please her with a low profile.


What's even worse is that every time I'm with her, I can't control my mean mouth, hurting her so badly that I finally beg me to let her go and let her take the unborn child with me leave.


I thought I must have been crazy.


He obviously wanted to live happily with her and the child's family of three in the future, but why did he say such stupid things?

I don't want to let go!When she stood at the door with her luggage, I wanted to ask her to stay several times, but my damn self-esteem and hellish arrogance suppressed my legs and blocked my throat, making me unable to move. Can't speak either.


In fact, how much I wish she could look back at me, but no matter how much I asked her if she really wanted to leave, she still nodded without looking back, and then left.


I yelled that she would regret it, but I was even more afraid that I would have already regretted it when I promised to let her go.


……


I thought, I'm really a good-for-nothing guy to her.


I'm selfish, cruel, hard-hearted and vicious... Except for not prostitution, gambling, murder and arson, I have almost all the bad habits of other bad men.


However, a cold-blooded and ruthless man like me only loves her, and is willing to use all of my life to change her happiness for the rest of her life...




(End of this chapter)