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Chapter 23 Never give up on your dreams (3)
When the book arrived, I opened it and took out a copy of "Night of Cloisonne".The blue cloth cover is hardcover, especially comfortable to touch repeatedly.Close your eyes and smell the fragrance of books, and feel comfortable physically and mentally.At this time, my girlfriend called and asked me to pick her up.I picked up this brightly-covered book and went out.Walk all the way, look all the way.

Dong Qiao's articles are short and easy to read.When passing a tree-lined road, a couple walked up to them.When the girl passed by me, she sneered and said, "I'm drunk too." A second before she said this, I saw someone out of the corner of my eye, and I raised my head to avoid it.Just hit the girl's eyes and that sentence.

Immediately, I stood there for a few seconds, first to avoid, and then to think about the meaning of her words.I knew she was lamenting my reading.Then I took out my phone and sent a status message, writing down my doubts:
I read books and walk on roads less traveled by, not for the sake of showing to anyone, not pretending not to do anything, just reading, that's all.Is this behavior weird?Or is the book not suitable for reading outside?Or do people nowadays not like to read books, or do they think it is stupid to read books to the point of bookworm?When she said that, I wasn't at all unhappy.I usually seize the opportunity to read books on the light rail and subway, and there is very little time to read books.

Then I thought about it, why should I care about what she said when I read my book?

My hobbies, my work, my life, everything about me is mine, your comments, your evaluations, your cynicism, your kind suggestions are all yours.Life is always swaying between "mine" and "yours", being left and right to move forward.If you know where you are going and have a firm direction, the lesser the external influence from "yours" will have on your life.

When we were young, we were ignorant, or our economic lifeline was in the hands of our parents.Regardless of whether we distinguish between good and bad, and whether we have knowledge of the future, our life is a life under the constraints of our parents.The starting point of parents is naturally good, but the methods and methods are not necessarily correct.

My father was a country doctor, and many relatives at that time believed that I would definitely go to medical university.The profession of a doctor seems to be a very lucrative job in any era.In the eyes of the three aunts and six wives, only going to medical university is the right way for me in life.Then they all suggested that I want to inherit my father's mantle.

At that time, my two older sisters started to study medicine with my dad.Later, the elder sister went to the health school to receive more professional medical education.In this way, there is nothing to worry about in my life.They all told me, look at how high a doctor's income is, so the son of someone's family is now in the hospital and earns tens of thousands of dollars a month.

Money is something that makes me tempted.How many million ah, this is not a small number.

But when it comes to the direction of life, sometimes it really isn't a matter of money or not.It’s not that there is a lot of money, I must choose to do it.Although the three aunts and six wives all put on the attitude of "I am all for your own good", it seems that only having more money and less money is the criterion for evaluating a successful life.

When I was a teenager, I learned an article about how Lu Xun saw Chinese crowd watching foreigners massacre Chinese during the Russo-Japanese War, with his neck stretched out like a duck whose neck was lifted.So he abandoned medicine and followed literature, thinking that healing the body of the people of the country is not as good as healing the spirit of the people of the country. "Give up medicine and go to literature" sounds like a high-end atmosphere.

However, my literary dream didn't sprout from here. I started to germinate my literary dream when I was in middle school.To talk about the beginning, probably my parents hoped that I would be a good child. Under such expectations, I became a little withdrawn.And introverted people are mostly turbulent in their hearts, longing for infinite beauty, and this longing becomes the origin of literature.Introverted people, the biggest expectation is to hope that their voice can be heard by others.There's been too much silence, so I have to say something.You need an audience, so you express it through writing.

After the college entrance examination, I filled in the Chinese major.

It wasn't such a great decision, but it followed my heart.From a realistic point of view, although the relationship between doctors and patients is relatively tense, doctors are still a very popular and profitable job. With the prosperity of digital media, the survival of traditional media is in jeopardy. The reporters and editors who do writing work are probably poor. .Especially for those of us born in the 80s, our literary dreams have been enlightened, and online creation has lowered the barriers to entry. Some people's literary dreams have been realized, and they really made some money by relying on literature.For others, it is much more difficult to break the pattern.Unfortunately, I became part of the rest.

Fortunately, I still love this industry.Therefore, even if the income is not high, it is still very happy to do it.

The direction of life is indeed a process of progress under the guidance of joint efforts.Anyone who has studied physics in middle school should know what "joint force" is.First of all, you have to be clear about your own life path, because there are many people who point fingers in this world.Whether you want to be an Ultraman who saves the world, or a little monster who is beaten silently, you have to be ready to meet other people's tongues.

From birth to death, there are often a group of angels or birdmen with wings and halos around us to guide your life and how to walk in the direction of what they think is a "successful person".If your direction is the same as theirs, then you should be thankful that the resultant force will push you forward, but if unfortunately your directions are different, then you must clearly recognize the path you want to go, abandon resistance, Go alone.

"I'm all for your own good" is such a powerful statement that we often have to fight it.Even sometimes, this sentence will come out of our mouths, it is scary to think about it.

We have all heard the stories of many, many friends around us.It is said that parents have arranged jobs, arranged blind dates, and arranged various futures in life. It is brilliant. As long as you step on the red carpet, you can become a CEO, marry Bai Fumei, reach the pinnacle of life, and eat tea eggs every day.But after walking in, I found that the days were uneventful, and there was nothing I longed for. What is the future?Everyone wants to escape the arranged life.So they ask you for help, should I resign, should I not fall in love with that so-and-so, or feel that a certain leader Taier is simply incapable of knowing how to be kind and responsible, so he used a good blade as a table foot... Your life, yourself Decided, all other people's suggestions are just for reference.My biggest suggestion is that after reading this article, it will burn after reading it. It is just a piece of shit and should not affect your life.

Never give up on your inner dream

Seize every opportunity carefully, no matter what answer you should face every opportunity, but please follow the purest and truest voice deep in your heart.

We often quote a sentence: When God closes a door for you, he will definitely open a window for you.

There are many choices in life, there are crossroads everywhere, and choices need to be made everywhere, just like the butterfly effect, every step we take, it may determine or even change our future.

Over the years, I have had many dreams.

I once aspired to be a writer, or a reporter, or an editor, or open my own bookstore, or even win the lottery and become a millionaire.

I think you should be the same. From childhood to adulthood, we have had many dreams and loved many people. When we thought that a certain point was the end of our pursuit, we took a step forward, but found that there was still a way ahead.

In the summer vacation five or six years ago, I had just graduated from university, ended my student career, and became a social person ever since.Some people say that where there are people, there are rivers and lakes.But what kind of rivers and lakes I have to face, I don't know.

For a long time before graduating from college, I was confused, anxious, and overwhelmed about stepping into the society.At that time, there was a junior who was filming the final assignment. His topic was graduates. He filmed our dormitory. He asked me a lot of questions, about relationships, about the future, about life. I watched the film once after it came out. His own face was full of confusion and depression.

When I graduated, I defended my thesis with a high score of 94, but I was about to face the fate of being kicked out of the dormitory by the dormitory supervisor. I had no job, no place to live, and was extremely helpless.At that time, many classmates and friends had already started working.And I spent too much time to complete that exquisite thesis, but in the end I was reduced to a vagrant.

I need to find a job, rent a house, and rely on myself from now on for basic necessities of life.

Every day I browse recruitment information websites. Although I have participated in many social practice activities and won many awards in college, after my resume is sent out, there is often no news.

Once, I received an interview notice from a publishing company that publishes teaching supplementary books. The company was so small that it could only rent an office in a residential area.

On the day of the interview, I stood at the door and hesitated for a long time whether I should step into the door of this company.

This job, this publishing company in a run-down neighborhood, was far from what I had imagined for a job.I still went to the interview.Oral test, written test, just like middle school students, because it is a teaching aid, the written test questions are basically an examination paper, with multiple choice questions, fill in the blank questions, reading questions, and composition questions.

I made the paper and waited for them to correct the test paper.The boss said to me, look, your grades are not very good, and there are better test papers than yours.He took out a test paper, which was an interviewee for a famous university.The boss said that he was more interested in my practical ability and asked me to go to work next Monday.

I am not happy after leaving the company, the office environment of this company is too bad.

On Monday morning, I went to work with a feeling of apprehension.

There was a traffic jam and I was late on my first day at work.On the way, I called my mother and said that I didn't want to work for this company, it was too different from my dream job.On the phone, my mother said, don’t go if you don’t want to go.As if I had received an order that was compatible with my heart, I immediately got out of the car and took the opposite car back to my residence.

At this point, I gave up the first possibility of life that I faced after graduating from university.

When I graduated, the literature and art bookstores in Chongqing were not as good as they are now. There were five or six Sisyphe bookstores in the classic bookstore, and Fangsuo, a high-ranking literature and art school, also opened in Chongqing a while ago.Before, I had a dream of opening a bookstore of my own.

How to open a bookstore, I don't know.But it seems possible to get a job at a bookstore.

So I submitted my resume for Classic Bookstore.

Not long after, I received an interview notice from the classic bookstore.I still remember what happened that morning.I took my resume and went from the building where the bookstore was located to the office of another building not far away for an interview.I was interviewed by a young woman.After reading my resume, she didn't say too much, let me talk about why I want to work in the bookstore.

I hesitated for two seconds and said that I have always had feelings for bookstores, so I really want to work in bookstores.

She said, I see that when you were in college, you did a lot of work and won many awards.Don't you think that would be overkill?
Her question really stumped me.There was already a tense atmosphere between the interviewer and the job applicant. She made things difficult, and I stammered a bit and repeated the answer to the previous question.Because I have feelings for bookstores.

Then there seemed to be a question or two, after which she told me to go home and wait for news.Later, I finally still did not receive the news of admission.At the beginning, I had some emotions about not being admitted, why didn't I hire myself, I am so good and hardworking, there is no reason not to reject me.

After I calmed down and thought about it, I found that the decision not to admit me was the correct direction of my life.Maybe I was just anxious to find a job at that time, and went to the doctor in a hurry, and didn't see clearly what the job I wanted was.From the perspective of the interviewer, maybe a person like me must not stay for a long time.You may feel aggrieved, your life is limited, and you will leave sooner or later.It is better not to hire talents with unstable factors than to hire them.As far as she is concerned, maybe just like what she asked, don't you feel that you are overqualified?I am not a big talent, but for the great youth and the infinite possibilities of life, I should have a broader path to choose from.

After that interview, I occasionally went to the classic bookstore to buy books, and I would see the lady who interviewed me in the store from time to time.I often think, does she still remember me?It's embarrassing when you think about it.When the job was on the right track, I found out that in the interview that ultimately failed, the interviewer had once become the boss of my life.

The second way of life is denied.

What about the third way?Later, I faced an opportunity in the magazine, which is an excellent opportunity for newcomers who have just graduated for three or four years.Both the vice president and the boss have talked to me. At that moment, I even felt that I was really going to reach the pinnacle of my life.After thinking about it calmly, he intentionally or unintentionally delayed the reply to the boss.It's not that I don't want to take over the position of editor-in-chief, but whether I have enough ability and foresight to control the life and death of a magazine, and whether I can be a good editor-in-chief.

I may not be able to do well.In addition, when I started to negotiate a new book contract at that time, why not give myself more opportunities to try my boyhood dream of being a writer?Maybe you don’t need to strategize at the height of the editor-in-chief, but you can spend more time doing a good job as a small editor, making it as easy as flowing clouds and flowing water, and achieving high-quality without mistakes. You can also write articles in your spare time, and seize every future possible opportunity.Now that I have reached the step of negotiating a book publishing contract, am I one step closer to my childhood dream of being a writer?
My Weibo name has been called Box Rice Jun for a long time—let the words speak for themselves.In fact, writing articles and telling stories is itself a kind of experience for the author's ability to grasp words.When that day comes, when I can really let the words in my pen speak, maybe it will be better to face the possibility of being the editor-in-chief again?

Since then, the third road has also turned a corner in apprehension and hesitation.

From childhood to adulthood, we have had too many dreams, some dreams are beautiful, some dreams are unrealistic, and some dreams may be the direction of our life, leading us forward.There are many of these dreams, but every choice is changing the next trajectory.What should our life be like?It should not have a specific appearance, but in your heart, it should have a vague and visible appearance like watching the moon in the fog and looking at the flowers in the water.

It is precisely because of this inability to see clearly that we have the urge to be curious and try to move forward to see what it really looks like, thus pushing us forward.What would my life have been like if I had gone to that teaching assistant publishing company in a dilapidated residential area back then, doing a job related to text but with different dreams?If the interviewer of the bookstore thinks that this young man is very good and should be hired, what kind of turning point will my life experience have?What about the third time?And the fourth, fifth, and sixth times...whether it is the Jiaofu Publishing Company, the bookstore, or even the website and magazine later, they are all different hawthorn balls on the "candied haws" of life. They are all strung on a bamboo stick, and this bamboo stick is the core of my life, the thing that I can't see or touch, but clearly exists—literal dream.

For this dream, I kept making choices, and kept swaying among the various possibilities on the road of life.

There are many kinds of dreams, and there should be many kinds of life. As for which one is correct or more suitable for you, I can't describe it to you.It's like a maze, and there's only one way to lead you to the final exit.Its appearance should be in your heart at all times. Every time you choose, be chosen, actively reject or passively reject, it will be a guidepost for you to walk out of the road of life.

Seize every opportunity carefully, no matter what answer you should face every opportunity, but please follow the purest and truest voice deep in your heart.

(End of this chapter)