Be a Strong Woman: Carnegie's Book of Spiritual Growth for Women

Chapter 3 Be optimistic about yourself and you will have good luck (2)
"Growing up, I married a man who was several years older than me, but I haven't changed. My husband's family is very good and full of confidence. They are the kind of people that I should not be. I try my best Trying my best to be like them, but I can't. Everything they do to cheer me up just makes me shrink back into my shell. I get jittery and hide from all Friend, it's so bad I'm afraid to hear the doorbell ring. I know I'm a loser and I'm afraid my husband will find out. So every time we're in public I pretend to be happy and I often end up doing it It was too much. I knew I had gone too far, and I would be sad about it for days afterward. Eventually, I was so unhappy that I felt there was no point in living any longer, and I started thinking about suicide."

What changed the life of this unhappy woman?Just a casual remark.

"One offhand sentence that changed my whole life. One day my mother-in-law was talking about how she raised her children and she said, 'No matter what happens, I always ask them to be what they are.'  … ...'staying true to yourself'...that's the word! In that moment, I realized that the reason I was so distressed was because I had been trying to fit myself into a mold that didn't fit me.

"I changed overnight. I started to stay true to myself. I tried to study my own personality, my own strengths, learn about colors and clothing as much as I can, try to dress in a way that suits me, and take the initiative to make friends. I joined a club organization—a small one at first—and they scared the hell out of me by letting me in. But every time I spoke, I gained a little more courage. All my joy today , which I never thought was possible. In raising my own children, I have always taught them what I have learned the hard way: no matter what happens, be yourself.”

There is nothing more painful than going against your true colors.An unwillingness to be who you are is an underlying cause of many mental and psychological problems.

have an independent personality

According to legend, when God created man, he took a rib from the man Adam and created the woman Eve.Thus, men and women began to look for each other.If you find the right one, you will be able to fit together seamlessly, as one, and be happy; if you find the wrong one, you will be at odds with each other, love will turn into hatred, and there will never be peace.

The value of a woman may be judged by a man, but it does not have to be reflected by a man.Owning your own piece of sky, independence and self-confidence can make a woman glow with a unique temperament.

Independence is a very high state, which requires a high-quality mentality and brand-new values.The independence of a woman is not in the struggle with men, but in how to find her own position.

In the spiritual realm, women are not the appendages of a certain man. Women need to have self-awareness and pursue their own values ​​and goals.Although having a happy family is the pursuit and wish of many women, don't shed tears for a man who doesn't love you, and don't spend your whole life waiting for a man's promise.

Only an independent woman can make herself stand out from thousands of fans, discover herself and realize her value.An independent woman will not deliberately change herself to please others, and will not lose herself for vanity. This is the perfect expression of a woman who loves life and maintains her self-esteem.

Independent women know how to cherish themselves.Only when a woman cherishes herself can she have more self-esteem and self-improvement, because love has always been a kind of power, which can make people full of expectations, confidence and happiness.Self-love is what you give yourself. This kind of emotion is also a kind of strength. This kind of happiness comes from the bottom of your heart.

While contributing to the family and supporting her husband's work, an independent woman will never forget the realization of her own value.Knowledge will shape a high-quality woman, and creating wealth with knowledge will make you invincible.Therefore, quality determines destiny.

Independent women have their own opinions on everything.A woman with her own opinion will be good at listening to other people's suggestions, and grasp her own happiness rationally and calmly; a woman with her own opinion will not follow others' advice, and will be thoughtful and wise.

Independent women need a career.Have a legitimate job, even if the income is meager, try to do it.Such a woman may not have a high degree of education or looks, but she will decide her consumption according to her income, and she will not sell herself for money because of vanity, which is worthy of respect.Such a woman is worthy of a man's love and devotion, because she can share joys and sorrows.

An independent woman has both the ability to trust her lover and the ability to ensure her own survival.She does not squander when she is rich, and she is not shabby when she is poor. She has her own hobbies and pursuits, her own income and circle of contacts.Believe in yourself, be an independent and complete "rib", and have a complete and independent personality, which is the greatest beauty of a woman.

Follow the truest voice in your heart

Women with a strong heart are independent, they never ignore their own existence, they will calm down and listen to their inner voice.A woman who only listens to her own words is not selfish, but a kind of maintenance of her true colors.

The biggest difference between a strong woman and a good woman is that a strong woman always seems to be full of vitality and appears in front of you refreshed; they always bring stimulation to people and let your nerve endings get the maximum exercise; You don't have to pay attention to your words and deeds nervously when you get along with them; occasionally they throw you with things, hit you, or show you faces on purpose, but their optimism and chicness make you angry. All I saw was their cuteness.

A woman with a strong heart will not succumb to the public's aesthetic point of view, never pretend to be a lady, and never pay attention to smiling without showing her teeth.They will discover their potential charm, whether it is a distinctive personality or a unique temperament.They only listen to their own inner arrangements for themselves, not other people's comments.

In the United States in the 20s there was a very popular broadcaster.When she first entered the society, she chose to be a film and television actress, because she thought it would make many people like her.But she can't act well no matter what, she can only stay at the level of a dragon.Later a director asked her:
"What was your childhood dream?"

"I wanted to be a broadcaster when I was a kid."

"Then why did you choose to act?"

"I think it's more popular with everyone."

"No, boy, you're wrong. Being a broadcaster can also be popular with everyone."

After listening to the director's persuasion, she decided to keep her true colors and became a broadcaster.She turned out to be the most popular radio star in New York at the time.

Listen to your inner voice more and keep your true colors, then no matter where you go, you will be generous, without any trace of hypocrisy, fresh and bright like the sun on the snow.At that time, the brightest star is you.

When you are ready to change for love, when you decide to listen to the opinions of the majority, please listen to your inner voice, only this voice is the most worthy of your listening, because it is the source of your charm .

A woman with a strong heart will not deliberately flaunt her nobility, but respect the natural, original and unique personal charm.Even if everyone is chasing the same standard, they will insist on listening only to their own words and the voice from their hearts.That's the style and allure of a strong woman, and for many men, it's what fascinates them.

You are the best brand
No woman in the world would refuse a famous brand.If conditions permit, those rich women will definitely not be able to resist buying all the famous brands.

What's the use of wearing a famous brand?There is only one reason why women desperately pursue famous brands, and that is to wear them for others to see.Some people may say that this is to meet their own needs, but this need is the admiration of others.Just imagine, if a person lives on an isolated island, would he want to get a famous brand desperately?

The value of a famous brand lies in its excellent quality, not in its distinctiveness.A woman who really recognizes this will have her logo cut off because it rubs against her skin on the back of her collar.

Compared with this, only those women who have nothing to do will desperately want to get brand-name products, just want to cover their whole body with brand-name products.Because they feel that as long as they wear famous brands, their own value will be enhanced.However, truly excellent women don't need these at all. They always follow their own preferences, stick to their own pace, and never blindly follow fashion and flock to it.Any clothes worn on them will look extraordinarily noble and elegant, because they are the best brands themselves.

John Jones is a clothing salesperson in a department store. She has an unusual pursuit of famous brands. There is not a piece of clothing on her body that is not a famous brand.Although she has always enjoyed the happiness of being envied by others, when her friends learned that the price of her famous brand is high credit card debt, they all expressed disagreement.

(End of this chapter)