just passing by you

Chapter 19 Time Only Destroys People to Get Old (1)

When I was young, there was always a period of time when I strongly longed to hold hands with the girl I liked, but because of my shyness, I would pretend to be cold and arrogant in the world that I didn't like to look at.

He was like this at that time.

She is his best friend's cousin, and the classroom is next door to him. When he is free, he likes to run to the next door, talking nonsense with his friends. She always sits by the side, reading or doing things calmly. Homework assigned by the teacher, occasionally looking up and seeing the enthusiasm of others chatting with dry lips and still refusing to stop, he would smile slightly, carry the pot and go downstairs to fetch water. Seeing that she was about to go upstairs, she would slide along the handrail of the stairs to the hall on the first floor within a dozen bills, then adjust the expression on her face to a column as calm as water, walk towards her lightly and say: Your cousin asked me to She didn't say anything to help you lift it up, and let him walk in front with the pot like flying. When he reached the door of his classroom on the sixth floor, he would always pause for a while and say, I'm going to get something, you carry it first. let's go.She said hello and went to the next door, while he leaned on his desk, gasping for breath until his beating heart calmed down, and then rejoined the team next door , in the fragrance of the jasmine tea she just brewed, the conversation became even more lively.

The education he has received can only make him secretly like her without letting anyone know.Even her, in this way, his love for her is the purest and most tender.Don't worry that your friends will laugh at him if they know about it.Or the professor's parents jumped out and rudely interfered with him, telling him not to associate with these girls from poor families. Maybe she would laugh at him for being passionate?
Had time alone with her too, at her cousin's house.Through the small and messy living room, he watched her help his aunt remove an old sweater and carefully twist it into a ball. He was so dazed that he forgot that the TV was switched to a channel with no programs. It was her. Getting up to help him change the channel, the ball of thread accidentally fell from his arms and rolled to his feet impartially.He hurriedly bent down to pick it up, but she also came to pick it up, and the moment his fingertips touched the fluffy thread, his face turned red.He didn't dare to look up at her again, but she, as if wanting to break the tense and awkward atmosphere, asked him softly: Whose word do you like the most?Such a question made him more and more at a loss. He thought that most girls like Li Qingzhao's words, and she must also, so he hurriedly answered: "Li Qingzhao's, how about you?"In the chaos, he heard her say: I still like Yan Shu more, he has a song "Picking Mulberries" that is particularly well written, I wonder if you have read it?

Slightly disappointed and annoyed, before he could answer, he heard noises in the corridor. He knew that the buddies must have bought beer and snacks, so he hurriedly put the topic aside and ran to open the door. .

There is no chance to pick it up again.A lot of things, but because of the college entrance examination not long after, there is no need to talk about it again. During the college entrance examination, she suddenly fell ill and missed the exam. Later, because of family changes, she finally couldn't even continue her studies.When she went to get the admission notice, she asked her cousin to bring him a book, which was a brand new "Selected Poems of Song Dynasty".He was admitted to Peking University at that time, and was being flattered by his relatives and friends, unable to touch the ground lightly, so he just flipped through this little book and put it aside.

He also wanted to find her many times, but when he thought that she didn't even agree with him about her hobbies, and thought that she was so beautiful, he must have looked down on his slightly ugly self.So he gave up again and again. During this period, he graduated from university, got a good job, and quickly broke into a vast world, but he was repeatedly frustrated in love, and he couldn't find a suitable woman no matter what. Give her a heart completely for safekeeping.

Occasionally when he returned to his hometown, at the entrance of a supermarket, he suddenly saw a woman with a child, standing in front of the counter, with a calm and composed expression, very much like her, but her face was too old, not like a 30-year-old woman.When she turned around, she heard someone calling: Qing Su, let's go.He turned his head abruptly, and saw the woman walking towards a white-haired old lady with a slight smile. I love her!

He suddenly felt a burst of relief, and it's okay to miss her. A 30-year-old woman is actually aging so fast. How could she have the slightest pity of youth that passed away so quickly, right?

When I got home, I met my sister's little daughter who was reading a book and came over with a smile, saying that she wanted to test him. "Uncle, what's the next sentence when you say 'time only makes people grow old'?" He thought for a while and said he didn't know.The little niece came over and scratched his nose, saying how my uncle was admitted to Peking University, and his memory is so bad, you underlined this sentence so much, how could you forget it so cleanly.

He looked puzzled, seeing that what his niece was holding was the "Selected Poems of Song Dynasty".Turning to the creased page at the back, I saw Yan Shu's "Plucking Mulberries", which was surrounded by colorful hearts one after another.The first two sentences of that poem.It reads: Time only makes people grow old, not passionate.

His heart hurts badly.Ten years ago, she wanted to use such words to tell him about the infatuation that a girl could not express.Ten years later, she used that aging face to let him understand that it was not time, but this unresponsive tenderness that made her, like a flower, quickly adjust to zero and wither.

But what he told her was only the emptiness and ruthlessness that would never go back for more than ten years.

I don't need happiness that can be seen.

My friend Chen grew up in a small city. After graduating, he went to Shanghai to study for graduate school, and soon married a man with a monthly salary of over 1000.Chen's husband is said to be extremely capable and shrewd as a Shanghainese. He does business so that the boss respects him three-pointed.After only two years in Shanghai, I bought a car and two expensive houses by myself.When Chen Chen casually talked about this in the alumni record, our group of guys in the inland with a salary of more than [-] yuan step by step immediately salivated, with a little jealousy, and viciously smashed it. An annoying morning sentence: You are so happy to the extreme!

It has always been the dream of us snobbish and vain women to live a life like morning without worrying about the garage.But after four years of college, we returned to our respective small towns, worked in ordinary jobs, and then married a man who lived on a salary every month like myself.Dreams are paper-cuts on glass windows, exquisite and flexible, but they are always just for you to look at when you have nothing to do, and imagine that you are the little man on the paper, and even the lazy sunshine every day is the first Shine on yourself.Such trivial daydreams fill our lives, make us miserable, and make us continue to be a mediocre couple with a little disappointment in such unrealistic yearnings.The monthly salary needs to be carefully calculated and spent, and the house and children are the most important issues; the so-called car and traveling around are just on the agenda and only occasionally considered on a whim.The money of two people, put together, is only 3000 yuan. In the bustling Shanghai, it may be difficult to buy a house of one square meter.

Of course, there are also small joys. Occasionally earn some extra money, or get some extra bonuses, and always think about buying some unexpected gifts for the other half.On weekends, I will go to the parents’ house on the other side of the city, not just to have a meal, but also to chat with them as they are getting older. Happy, not only the parents, but also ourselves, will know more and more for such a warm time. Be considerate and caring for each other.Because, what else can make us feel happier than a life in which we have been loving each other for a lifetime, and even our words and deeds are becoming more and more alike, and we can't tell you and me apart?
Materially, it is not poor, but it cannot match the exquisite and elegant life like Shanghai.So for Chen's carefree happiness, of course we still feel envious from a distance.Many times when I met Chen on the Internet, I always felt a little jealous.But Chen's tone was as indifferent as ever, as if the happiness we longed for had nothing to do with her.Finally one time when she got tired of talking, she said coldly: But the happiness of having a house and a car belongs only to him; I am in Shanghai, and I have nothing but my salary of 3000 yuan.

Somewhat stunned, she asked her back in surprise: what belongs to him, doesn't it also belong to you, the warm home maintained by the love of two people, what else is there between you and me?Chen Dan lightly smiled and said: In Shanghai, many couples are under the AA system, and their respective parents only rely on themselves to serve them.I am so poor and married into the house he bought a long time ago, probably counted as a dependent.Every time we quarreled, the content was almost the same. He accused me of never doing my best for this family, and I didn't even take the initiative to pay the monthly utility bills!He made it so clear, and when I first married him, he told me clearly that the house and car belonged only to him, while I could only use them.You have your own husbands, you can save money from food and frugality, just to buy you a beautiful dress; and all my clothes and jewelry are my own money.Even so, he still feels dissatisfied, finds faults frequently, and divides "mine" and "yours" so clearly!
It turns out that morning's happiness, all we see is the external glory.When the pre-marital property was notarized, she had nothing; in the world of two people after marriage, she still did not have the sense of belonging that we take for granted.The tranquility and serenity that women want most are luxury for her.She is just her own princess.

(End of this chapter)