just passing by you

Chapter 40: Fighting the Spear (2)

When my boyfriend and I were fussing over who would speak first after a quarrel, my mother treated the angry father as her fourth child, and coaxed him softly to make him happy.When we pay more for the monthly salary and complain about the other party's stinginess, the parents' salary has never been divided between you and me for 40 years.When we are worrying about the cost of milk powder for our children who are still in the distant future, our parents selflessly give half of their lives to their three children.

And the money, material desires, houses, and cars that we value, in the hearts of our parents, are just the branches of the sycamore tree. No matter how sprawling they are, they can't stop the trunk and its towering upward steps.And their lifelong companionship is reflected on the clear blue background of time with such a clear backbone.

A lifetime of perfection.

She has always been quite critical of the way her mother gave her whole heart to her father.She didn't like her father very much either. He was over half a hundred, and he was still stubborn and stubborn like a child.Not to mention his bad temper, he would always criticize everything his mother did to curry favor with him.Every mother stood aside docilely, listening attentively, with a smile in her eyes.Of course she couldn't see it, she would always stand between them bravely and fearlessly as she did when she was a child, staring at her father angrily.As a father, she was a bit timid; but he couldn't lose face, begged for mercy, or said a few gentle jokes to dismiss this little quarrel.He would always say "Huh!" angrily, then turn around and walk out the door.

What followed was the scene that made her most angry.The mother desperately chased after her, grabbed her father's arm, and begged him in a low voice in front of her: "Where are you going crazy again? We agreed to cook braised fish for you and Zhen'er at noon. Why did you forget it again?" The father didn't take a step outside anymore, but he didn't look down at his mother, but went into the study with his hands behind his back and angrily, and didn't come out for a long time, until his mother finished her work and went to the study in person. until he is pulled out.

She didn't understand at all why her mother indulged her father so much.She felt that her father's bad habits were almost all caused by her mother's habit, because her father knew that someone would always follow behind him to fold the laundry for him, tidy up the desk, and put the clothes he was going to wear neatly in front of him, even this person Occasionally, when he went out and didn't come home, he would prepare meals for him in advance and keep them warm in the pot.

She "educated" her mother several times, not to "help the tyrant to be abusive", otherwise, when her daughter got married one day, no one would protect her.Every time my mother looked at her with squinted eyes and a smile, without saying a word, she looked very content and happy.This look let her know that so much talking was in vain, and next time her mother would still go to coax her angry father again.

So when I was looking for a boyfriend, I paid special attention to it, and all boys who had a little bit of father's image on their body would be passed.After picking and choosing like this, I passed the age of 28 in a flash, wasting the best time of my youth.Her father, who had always been indifferent to her marriage, became angry and hosted a banquet at home to help her inspect an excellent officer introduced by an old comrade-in-arms.

The words and deeds of the officers are indeed very decent, and they are also one of the best in their careers.But when she played chess with her father at the end, she violated the big taboo of a perfect lover in her mind, and actually acted like a hero in front of her future father-in-law, even refusing to give in to a pawn.Of course, my father refused to give in.Seeing these two like-minded soldiers, she smiled slightly, and in her heart, like before, gently passed him away.

This time, my father really got angry and said that you are not perfect, so what right do you have to demand others? !Even if there is a perfect person, if you are measured by the wrong ruler in your heart, you will never be perfect again!
She got angry and moved to live with her aunt.Lying under the quilt at night, I complained to my aunt about my father's misdeeds, but my aunt sighed slightly and said: You don't know how many sisters were jealous of your mother finding such a good husband.Both your father and his immediate superior have taken a fancy to your mother, and it was the probationary period for your father to be promoted to captain.In the end, he would rather not be a captain than to snatch your mother over.His reluctance not only moved your mother, but also won the appreciation of the leader, and ended the inspection of him ahead of schedule.Another year, when he was on a mission, he stumbled and fell off the cliff, without a good bone in his body; on the way to the operating room, he gritted his teeth for fear that your mother would be worried, and had to lie about his safety with your mother before he could go to the operating room. Ken into the operating room.In fact, when it comes to major issues, for your mother's sake, he is resolutely unwilling to give in to others.Your mother, in fact, is the same.Otherwise, I was the one who married your father back then, not her.

She actually felt a little strange, as if she was listening to someone else's story; the hero and heroine in the story are obsessed with each other, for each other, they will not only tolerate, but also stick to it stubbornly, not letting others die.Whether to give in or not is actually for the sake of being able to stay together for a lifetime.

At the moment when her father called to ask her to go back "angrily", she finally understood that the happiness of a lifetime does not lie in whether there is a perfect lover; In the circle of love, can you use your own love and tenderness to embrace the edges and corners of the other party tolerantly, and never let go.

But don't say lovesickness.

I always thought my father was a man without love, at least, he never showed intimacy to my mother in front of my brother and me.Even, there is very little love.He always had a rough voice, with unquestionable command and force in his tone.Therefore, I often wonder how my mother fell in love with my father. The two grew up in a small town, watched each other grow up, but never said a word.Even after they got married, the father cherished words like gold, and rarely said some gentle words to the mother.

Sometimes I took pictures of them and asked my father to get closer to my mother, but he refused with a dark face.It seemed hard for him to bear the moment of cuddling up with his mother in front of everyone, but every time his mother beat him embarrassedly and leaned over with a smile.At that moment, my father was a little nervous, always urging us to take pictures quickly, he had no spare time to accompany us.After finishing speaking, he secretly moved his body forward, and as a result, in almost all the photos, his father was stalwart and occupying most of the country; while his mother stood meekly behind him, like his personal girl .This is very similar to the status of two people in the family. The mother not only takes care of all the housework, but also carefully serves the father like a child.My brother and I have been laughing at my father, saying that he must be unable to take care of himself without his mother, otherwise, how could he have given up the opportunity to go on a business trip or study in the city to others without hesitation?My father never paid attention to our jokes, but my mother often defended him by saying that your father is reluctant to let you two children go.

Of course we don’t believe this reason, because my brother and I live in a city far away from them. Every time we go back and invite him to live for a while, he always looks nervous and refuses to live or die; without his permission, my mother will naturally die. Will not live with us.Until I gave birth to a child, I couldn't take care of it, so I had to take my mother to help.

That was the first time that my mother was away from my father, and it was also the first time that my father lived on his own.I thought my father would say some words of retention or sentimentality, but he always looked indifferent from the time my mother started packing up to seeing her off on the train.When my mother arrived, I was worried that he would miss me, so I called him, but he was still impatient and said that he knew, why waste the phone bill by being so wordy?
From then on, I kept his teachings in mind and chatted with him without wasting phone bills.My mother is also busy, and it is rare to find time to talk to my father.I know that even if they were chatting, my father would still say those few words habitually, so seeing that my mother was busy, I stopped letting him talk nonsense, told him to take good care of himself, and then hung up.

After about a week, my father's phone calls suddenly increased.But every time he didn't say anything to his mother, he just babbled to me, saying that the flowers in the yard had withered for some reason in the past two days, the puppy he raised was not energetic, and even the weather didn't meet his wishes, it was always rainy Continuously.Every time I racked my brains to give him some advice, let him try to fertilize the flowers, take the dog for a walk, and listen to opera for nothing.He reluctantly agreed, but next time he had a new problem to bother me, saying that the neighbor's house was always noisy for some reason, and he couldn't sleep well for a few days.Also, the washing machine suddenly broke down, and I don't know when I can finish washing a lot of clothes.

My father would tell me about such trivial things every other day.I was depressed by him, so I asked my mother, my father has always been a very quiet person, how can he be so nagging recently.Mother laughed and said, your father is free.I didn't notice the expression on my mother's face when she said this. I thought it was true, so I ignored my father's troublesome questions one after another, and dealt with him with nice words every time.

One day he called again, saying that he was not feeling well. I was dizzy and confused by a lot of chores, so I couldn't help but panic at him. I said, Dad, if you don't feel well, go to the next door to see Dr. Wang. , Don’t you and him often play chess? Why are you so grown up and don’t know how to take care of yourself? We have to worry about it endlessly. Mom and I are already tired enough.During my conversation, my father hung up the phone with a snap.After a few minutes, my father called again, but he just yelled at me angrily. He said, I am not in good health. You don’t know, doesn’t your mother know? !

I was a little confused and didn't know why my father was so angry; my mother sighed and said, actually, your father has something wrong in his heart, he is just a lonely person, and he has never been separated from me in his whole life ...

It turned out that my father had been talking nonsense for more than a month, but he just wanted us to understand how much he wanted his mother to go back and stay by his side as before.Father will never say the word lovesickness so easily like our younger generation.He is only willing to save up thickly and hide it deep in his heart; and only his mother can see clearly at a glance the love that has been brewed through a lifetime of staying together.

(End of this chapter)