Smile is very alluring: the charming temperament you want most

Chapter 29 Be an Interesting Woman and Meet Your Best Self (3)
An Australian zoologist once brought back two monkeys from the Amazon River Basin.One of them was very strong and the other was thin and small.Zoologists kept them in two cages, carefully fed them every day, and observed their living habits and changes.Strangely, a year later, the big and strong monkey died, but the thin monkey lived well.In order not to interrupt his research, the zoologist found another strong monkey, but within a few months, the situation was the same as last time, and the strong monkey died.

A few years later, zoologists returned to that place to study the monkeys.It was found that the strong monkeys are always chasing and fighting, while the thin monkeys prefer to stay quietly, bask in the sun alone, close their eyes and rest their minds, and their emotions are very stable, so they can survive for a long time.In the end, the zoologist came to the conclusion that a life without society is a defect, and a life without solitude a disaster.

We should not be afraid of loneliness, let alone forget loneliness.True solitude is a pleasure.It teaches us to stay away from the world of mortals, calmly think about our faults and failures, and put ourselves in an appropriate angle for a deep dissection.Harry Emerson Fosdick said a poetic sentence: "He who cannot bear to live alone is like a pond blown by the wind. The wind does not stop, and he can never find peace and show his beautiful things."

One afternoon, three women in the office were performing a "drama".

The chubby girl A happily ate her afternoon tea, and said: "Oh, my boyfriend bought it for me, and I just drove it here. I know that our temporary office is remote, and there is no place that sells delicious food..." The girl at the next table Colleague B was so envious, he deliberately raised his voice and said, "Oh, I'm so happy, why didn't anyone give it to me?" After finishing speaking, he turned his head to C, who didn't like to join in the fun, and said, "Look at her, you should also find me quickly. A person who gives love snacks!" C was really helpless to this kind of question, so he could only respond and said: "Then find me one!"

In fact, C thought to himself: Why do you have to find someone who can buy you snacks?You can also buy it yourself.Not having a lover doesn't mean you're living a bad life. A person's life can also be very poetic and splendid.Falling in love and getting married are all things that go with the flow. If you have to wait until then to experience happiness, wouldn't the time alone be wasted in vain?
She thought so, and she did so. At the age of 30, she doesn't feel lonely when she is alone.On Valentine's Day, many women feel envious when they see couples in and out, but C is very indifferent. She bought herself a box of chocolates, went to the cinema to watch a movie, and had a very emotional life.She believes that what should come will always come, whether it is one person or two people, it is just a way of life, and their content should be the same, that is, fulfillment and happiness.

No one can be with you forever, except yourself. Loneliness and loneliness are the keynote of the song of life.The pure beauty of woman C, the state of mind of being neither impatient nor impatient, neither humble nor overbearing, quietly waiting, and knowing how to cherish, undoubtedly taught every woman a spiritual lesson.

No one in this world can endure absolute loneliness, but the person who absolutely cannot endure loneliness is a person with an empty soul.Living in this world, we not only need to communicate with others and get happiness from getting along, but also pay attention to our own inner cultivation, so as to understand life from quiet solitude.You don't have to live in isolation, let alone shut yourself in the room all day long, as long as you take a little time every day to be quiet, and integrate solitary meditation into your work and study, you can rest your mind.

It has been two years since An Jie last fell in love.The emotional void seemed to hollow out her heart, making it difficult for her to adapt to a life alone.At work, she hangs on MSN and QQ, and spends 1/3 of a day chatting with friends.After get off work, she was even more reluctant to go home, and she couldn't find someone to have dinner with, so she went to the game hall or nightclub alone.In the past, she seldom went to nightclubs or drank alcohol, but now she likes to "join in the fun" more and more. She doesn't feel alone in the crowd, but she feels more empty after returning home.

Until not long ago, she met a close friend online who hadn't seen her for several years.That friend is now abroad and single.Talking about the recent situation of each other in the past two years, she suddenly felt a little ashamed.When my friend was 22 years old, she went to the UK to study for graduate school. After graduation, she traveled to many countries by herself, and even worked as a volunteer. The friend sent her a lot of photos, each of which seemed to be a kind of experience.Her life is so fulfilling, her smile is so brilliant, it is impossible to see that this woman in a foreign country is lonely and lost.

The same woman, also single, why am I so impetuous?Her empty, floating heart suddenly seemed to fall to the ground. She decided to bid farewell to the self who was afraid of being lonely and start a new life alone.She no longer talks on the phone to talk about her loneliness, and no longer chats online to pass the time. She is very devoted to work, and she is very comfortable in life. She reads books, listens to music, practices yoga, and enrolls in a favorite interest class ... This time, she experienced what it means to be "a wonderful person".

An Jie stays away from the hustle and bustle of the environment, and gives herself a space of solitude that does not require a lot of space. She gently sorts out and slowly settles the past days in her alone time, and the messy life gradually becomes clear. , her empty heart regained the long-lost sense of solidity.In fact, loneliness is not terrible, what is terrible is not knowing the deep meaning of loneliness, not sinking the floating heart in loneliness, and taking that tranquility as deserted.Indulging in impetuousness and anxiety, it is natural not to experience the unique taste of loneliness.

Whether it is the hustle and bustle or the loneliness of a person, it is an inevitable process in life.In the complicated world, women should have their own time, let inspiration germinate in solitude, let thoughts flash in solitude, and let beauty have more connotation in solitude.Only in this way can we walk more calmly and steadily on the long journey of life, and cultivate an extraordinary and refined temperament.

enjoy it, travel alone

■

The only time you can hear your own voice is when you are traveling alone.It will tell you that the world is wider than you think.

——Anonymous

■

I saw this sentence on Weibo: There should be one time in a lifetime when you pack your bags and travel alone without fear.This sentence can't help but remind people of a slow-paced movie, "Food, Pray, and Love".

The heroine Elizabeth is a 30-year-old woman who has everything a successful American woman should have: a successful career, a husband, and a big house.She looks happy on the surface, but in fact she doesn't know what she really wants.Her heart is colorful and colorful, and she never has a blank experience for herself.In her own words: "From the age of 15, I was either in love or breaking up. I never lived for two weeks for myself, only with myself." When she was young, she thought that when she grew up, she would be a son and daughter There are groups of mothers, but after she got married, she realized that she neither wanted children nor a husband.This kind of entanglement made her live in sadness, fear and confusion all day long.

In order to give herself time and space to think clearly, Elizabeth quit her job, got out of a bad marriage, got rid of all material fetters, and started a solo trip.This walk is one year.

In Rome, Italy, she savored gourmet food and indulged her senses, accompanied by the best pizza and wine in the world, and she felt her soul reborn.In India, a local guru and a cowboy helped her walk into her own spiritual world in four months, and the days of yoga accompanied her to cleanse her chaotic heart.In Bali, Indonesia, she found the art of balancing worldly enjoyment and spiritual transcendence, and unexpectedly found love.

Enjoy delicious food and feel the beauty of life; understand your inner world and talk to your soul; balance your body and mind, and taste love, all of which happened on the road and in the days when Elizabeth was traveling alone.This journey is a life-changing experience. What you gain is not only the scenery on the journey, but also the touch of the soul from the subtle things, and the purification of the body and mind in loneliness.

The famous modern writer Zhou Guoping wrote such a passage in his book "The Soul Can Only Walk Alone": "The soul can only walk alone forever. Even if two people love each other, their souls cannot walk together. The most touching love in the world is not only a single The deepest call and answer between the soul and another soul that walks alone. The soul walks with only one goal to find God. The reason why the soul can only walk alone is because everyone can only find his God by searching for himself .”

Elizabeth's solo trip was undoubtedly a journey to find her own soul.The reason why she felt oppressed and confused in her past life was because she lacked her own spiritual world and used everything from the outside world to fill the emptiness in her heart, but she never asked what her heart really needed?The year-long solo travel is not a simple solo travel, but more importantly, when walking alone, seek the richness of the spiritual world, and use the time alone to comprehend life and comprehend life.

Life is like a journey.It is a blessing to be able to find people who work together all the way, but sometimes, some roads can only be walked by one person, and some scenery can only be appreciated by one person.Women who can endure loneliness and are good at finding fun and direction for themselves will never be lonely. A breath of soul in the depths of the ocean, a quiet afternoon in an art gallery, and a glass of mellow and sweet wine can make them feel comfortable and safe. .

A person is not necessarily lonely, and two people are not necessarily not lonely.From the age of 15 to 30, Elizabeth lived with others for more than ten years, but in the end she still felt empty and lonely, and she didn't even know what to do?Later, when I walked alone on the road, saw strange scenery, met strange people, but my mood was very different. The sense of fulfillment and satisfaction was never felt before.That being the case, why don't we seek our own spiritual green city?A person's journey is random and free and easy, with more time and possibilities for control.

When you are lonely, you are withdrawing from the complicated life, returning to the realm where you are alone, and then looking for the necessary space for your soul to grow.Traveling in the mountains and rivers with others is just tourism and entertainment. Only when facing the vast sea alone can you truly feel the spiritual communication between yourself and nature.Whether it is a journey or a life alone, a woman should endure loneliness and experience loneliness as a beautiful state of mind.

(End of this chapter)