wisdom of life

Chapter 12 Recommendations and Maxims (3)
No.20 Eight Sections

Ordinary people are like children in this respect: if we pamper them, they become mischievous, mischievous.Therefore, we cannot be too accommodating and obedient to anyone.Generally speaking, if we refuse to lend money to a friend, we will not lose this friend; but if we lend him money, we can easily lose him.Similarly, if we maintain a certain arrogance, negligence, and carelessness towards our friends, then we will not lose them easily; but if we show too much politeness and thoughtfulness, we may lose these friends instead, because our politeness And courteousness can make a friend haughty and intolerable.The rift between friends also arises from this.People especially can't stand others needing them.Once they decide that others need them, the inevitable result is that they will become arrogant and disrespectful.For some people, as soon as we socialize with them, talk to them often, or speak to them in a trusting way, they will become rude; soon, they will think that we should tolerate and accept everything about them Behavior, you will try to cross the line of politeness.Therefore, persons with whom we are suitable for intimate acquaintance are rare, and we should be careful not to get too close to the low and low class.If a man thinks that I need him more than he needs me, then he will immediately feel as if I have stolen something from him; he will try to make amends, to get back what has been lost.The advantage we have in dealing with people is all because we don't demand anything from them, don't depend on them, and make it clear to them.For this reason, we should, from time to time, make others feel that we can live without them, whether they be male or female.Doing so will strengthen the friendship.Indeed, it does no harm if, in our dealings with most people, we now and then show a little contempt; others will, on the contrary, value our friendship the more. "He who does not honor others is honored by others" - this is a wonderful Italian proverb.But if a person is really valuable to us, we should hide that fact as if it were a crime.Although this truth is not comfortable, it is absolutely true.Think about it: Not even a dog can stand being treated too well, let alone a human.

No.20 Nine Sections

Often, those of noble nature and gifted minds reveal a startling lack of understanding of the world, especially when they are young.They are thus easily deceived by others, or led astray by others.But those with vulgar, low natures quickly learn to hold their own in the world.The reason is that when we lack experience, we can only make a priori judgments about things.In general, practical experience is no match for prior knowledge.For the ordinary vulgar man, their a priori knowledge is his own view of the matter; but for the noble and superior man, this is not the case.It is precisely because of this that they are clearly different from ordinary people.When they measure others by their own thoughts and ways, their calculations are not accurate.

However, even if such a noble person finally learns a posteriori knowledge, that is, summing up the teachings of others and combining his own experience, he finally understands what to expect from people in general; , then it is best to keep five-sixths of the human race at arm's length and avoid contact with them as much as possible, this is determined by the moral and intellectual makeup of this group of people—even so, this noble person is far from ordinary people. The small, contemptible nature of the human being is still not fully appreciated.In his later life, he will continue to expand and enrich his understanding in this area, but during this period, he will often make miscalculations and make himself suffer.Although he does take the lessons learned to heart, when he gathers and talks with people he doesn't know, he will still be surprised to find that these people are full of sincerity, generosity and wisdom in their conversation, manners and behavior. Rational; these people are honest, honest, and gentlemanly, but at the same time they are quick-witted and witty.He should not be puzzled by this phenomenon, for the reason is simple: Nature did not create man like some poor writer.When the latter portrays rascals or fools, the technique is quite clumsy and blunt, and the author's subjective intention is so obvious, we seem to see the author himself standing behind these characters, refusing to recognize the unique thoughts and words of these characters, And remind us loudly in a warning tone: "Attention! This is a liar; that is a fool. You must not be fooled by him!" In contrast, nature is the same as Shakespeare and Goethe.In the works of Shakespeare and Goethe, once every character—even if it is a devil—stands and speaks, what he says is appropriate and reasonable at the time.Just because these characters are objectively represented, we are attracted by their emotions, and we cannot help paying attention to and sympathizing with them.Such persons, like the works of nature, spring from an inner principle; and it is from this inner principle that they speak and act as if from nature, and therefore as from necessity.So whoever thinks he sees in this world a devil with horns on his head, or a fool with bells on his body, he will be their prey and plaything forever.Moreover, in dealing with other people, people are like the moon and the hunchback—always showing one side.Indeed, every man has an innate ability to squeeze his features and put on the appearance he wants to appear.A man's mask is made purely of his personality, so that the mask fits him perfectly, and the effect is deceptive.Whenever he needs to please others, he puts on this mask.We should regard other people's masks as oilcloths, worth nothing more than that.Let's keep in mind this wonderful Italian proverb: "There is no dog so bad that it won't wag its tail."

In any case, one should be careful not to judge too highly of a person we have just met.Otherwise, nine times out of ten we will be disappointed, ashamed, and even wrecked.Here, it is worth mentioning what Seneca said: "The nature of a person's character can be seen from the small things." A person will show his character by being negligent in the details.One's ego can be seen in the way a person handles small things, or in the sheer demeanor, of a person's infinitely expansive, disregarding other people's ego.This kind of person will not compromise his own nature in major matters, even if he disguises his own nature.Let's not miss these people-watching opportunities.In dealing with trivial daily matters-these are "little matters that the law does not care about"[21]-if a person's heart never considers others, and only seeks his own convenience and benefit, he will not hesitate to hinder and If he harms the interests of others and takes for himself what belongs to everyone, then we can be sure that there is no justice in this person's heart.He could even be a villain if left unchecked by the law and the judiciary.We can't have the slightest trust in this person at all.Indeed, the man who has no scruples to break the rules of his own private circle will also break the laws of the state when he thinks it is safe and safe. 【22】Forgiving and forgetting means throwing away the expensive experience we have gained.If someone with whom we associate and relate exhibits some kind of unpleasant or irritating behavior, then we need to ask ourselves: is this person really so valuable that we are willing to put up with his behavior ?Because the same behavior is bound to happen again and again and again and again.If the answer is yes, then we need not say much about the act, because talking is useless.In this way, we give him a little advice, or no advice at all, and let the matter pass.However, we must realize that at any moment we may suffer the same troubles He gave us again.But if the answer to the question is no, then we must immediately and permanently disown our dear friend; if this person is our servant, we must immediately dismiss him.Because if the same situation were to arise again, he would still inevitably do the same thing, or something similar - even though he now made a sincere promise not to do so.A man forgets everything, absolutely everything, but not his ego, his nature.Character is absolutely irreversible, because all human actions spring from an inner principle; according to this inner principle, a person can only always do the same thing in similar situations, and cannot be different from others. of.Readers can get rid of false ideas by reading my award-winning essay on the so-called freedom of will.It is therefore an act of weakness to reunite with a friend with whom we have broken off; and we will eventually pay for this weakness, for at the first opportunity the friend will do the same thing which caused the friend to turn against him in the first place.This time, however, he would do things more boldly, for he had secretly realized that he was our indispensable friend.The same holds true for servants who have been fired by us and then rehired by us.For the same reason, we cannot expect a person to do the same thing as he did before when the situation has changed.People's views, ideas and behavior attitudes change rapidly following their own interests.Indeed, if we are not going to protest against people's purposeful actions that will soon be cashed like short-term checks, then we need to become even more short-sighted.

Therefore, if we want to know how a person would behave in a situation we imagine, we must never rely on the promises and guarantees made by this person.Because even if this man made promises and pledges from the bottom of his heart, he was talking about things he didn't understand.We can, therefore, calculate his actions only by considering the situation into which he is prepared to plunge, and how this conflicts with his character.

If one is to gain the necessary, clear and penetrating insight into the true and terribly poor nature of man--and that is the nature of most men--then take the literary description of man's behavior as a reflection of real life The explanation of human behavior, or vice versa, the explanation of the former by the latter, is very instructive.This helps us avoid misperceiving ourselves and others.But let us not be offended and angry at the meanness and stupidity of people we meet in real life or in books and literature.We should regard these characteristics of human beings purely as materials for our understanding, regard them as another specimen of a certain characteristic of human beings, and record them.We are like a mineralogist who stumbles upon a typical specimen of a certain mineral.Of course, there are exceptions, even special cases with great differences.The difference between people is very huge.But in general, as I said long ago, the world is steeped in sin: savages devour each other, and civilized people deceive each other, which is called the way of the world.The State, with its instruments and machines of arms, both abroad and at home—what is this, if not for the purpose of guarding against, and restraining, the unbridled injustice of man?Haven't we seen throughout history that every king, once firmly in control of his country, and just beginning to enjoy a modicum of opulence, uses these capitals to lead his armies and raid his neighbors like a band of pirates? country?Aren't almost all wars, in the final analysis, acts of robbery and looting?In antiquity and to some extent in the Middle Ages, the conquered were made slaves to the conqueror, that is, they were to serve him.But those who pay for the war also serve the conqueror.They donated their previous job earnings.Voltaire said: "All war is nothing but plunder." The Germans should remember this.

Section No.30
We cannot allow a person to develop himself completely on his own.Everyone needs concepts and aphorisms for guidance.If, however, we go too far in this direction, and acquire some artificial character, that is to say, a character acquired without us, not from our inner nature, but only by rational thought, then, Soon, it will be found that this statement is true:
The instinct was driven away by the fork, but she still had to turn back.

— Horace
Therefore, it is easy for us to understand certain laws that should be observed in dealing with people and things, and we can even discover these laws and express them well, but in actual life we ​​will soon violate these laws.But, in any case, we should not be discouraged by this, and not let ourselves be allowed to think that abstract maxims and maxims cannot guide our conduct in life.The same applies to all applications of theoretical rules to practice.The first thing is to know and understand the principles of law, and the second is to learn to apply these principles in detail.The former can be done once by using reason; the latter requires us to practice step by step.Although a beginner has seen others demonstrate the fingering movements of playing a musical instrument, or the parry and attack moves used in fencing, he will still make mistakes in the actual operation, even though he wholeheartedly wants to do the movements well. .At this time, he will think that it is almost impossible to use the skills of playing or fencing while reading music quickly, or while fencing is in full swing.However, by gradually and continuously playing fingering exercises, after many times of falling and standing up, he was finally able to master the subtleties.To master the grammatical rules of speaking and writing in Latin, you have to go through the same process.So, if the clumsy man is to become a jester at court, the whimsical to acquire tactful habits, the talkative to keep his mouth shut, the aristocrat to become a cynic—all this can be achieved without hard practice , there is no other way.But self-discipline by persistent habitual exercise is always an external constraint; human nature never quite ceases to struggle against it, and sometimes breaks it unexpectedly.For actions according to abstract maxims, compared with those which spring from nature, are like a man-made work, such as a watch--to which we impose shapes and motions which do not belong to this substance. —Compared with those living organizations, in which form and matter are united into one and self-contained.This relation between acquired character and natural character confirms the statement of the Emperor Napoleon: "Everything that is not natural is imperfect." In general, this rule applies to physical And everything within the realm of the human spirit.The only exception I can think of is natural aventurine, a substance well known to mineralogists, which cannot be compared in beauty to man-made aventurine.

Here, I want to issue a warning against all artificial behavior: artificial behavior will always arouse contempt from others.First, because it is false and deceitful, and in this way, it is an act of cowardice, because deceit is born of fear; , But we are not like that.To dress up and pretend to have a certain quality is to admit that you don't have it.Whether a person is pretending to have courage, wit, learning, intelligence, or bragging to appear romantically successful, rich, or otherwise, we can infer from this impersonation that the person is exactly that. There is something lacking, because if we really have this quality and strength, then we don't think of deliberately showing it, showing off it-we are already satisfied when we think of our possession.This is also the meaning of the Spanish proverb: "A horseshoe (horseshoe) clinks because a nail is missing." Nevertheless, as I have said from the beginning, we cannot give free rein to our nature and fully express ourselves. Our true colors, because it is necessary for us to hide many bad and beast elements in our nature.But this is only a reason for us to conceal things of negative nature, it does not justify passing off things of positive nature; that is to say, it is all right to conceal one's ineptitude, but no reason to pretend to be superior.We should also know that people know they are pretending even before they figure out what they are trying to pretend to be.Finally, the camouflage will not last long, and one day the mask will fall off. "No one can wear a mask for a long time, and people will soon return to their nature" (Seneca).

Section No.30

Just as a man who carries his own body on his back, without being aware of its weight, feels the weight in moving another's body, so he does not notice his own faults and vices, but only Be aware of these things in others.Therefore, everyone should use others as a mirror from which they can clearly see their own shortcomings, evil deeds and other bad things.But for the most part, people are like a dog barking at a mirror—it thinks it's another dog in the mirror, but it doesn't know it's looking at itself.People who find fault with others are actually improving themselves.Therefore, people who are inclined and accustomed to silently pay attention to and critically criticize other people's external behaviors, things that others have done or have not done, are thus improving and perfecting themselves.Because such people at least have enough justice, or enough pride and vanity to avoid doing things that they often criticize so harshly and harshly.For those who tolerate others, the opposite holds true, namely, "We ask for liberty, and we grant it to others" (Horace).The Gospel of the Bible has a wonderful moral teaching about "seeing the speck in others' eyes, but not the beam in your own"; however, the nature of the eyes is to look out, and it cannot see the eyes themselves, so pay attention to and criticize the shortcomings of others is a fairly effective way of making us aware of our own inadequacies.We need a mirror to improve ourselves.

The same rule applies to writing style and style: if a new twist on a bad style is appreciated rather than criticized, the stupid style will be imitated.For this reason, every stupid, stupid style of writing can quickly become popular in Germany.The Germans are very tolerant, everyone can notice that. "We beg for freedom, and likewise, we will grant this freedom to others," has become a German motto.

No.30 Section Two

A man of noble nature thinks in his youth that the important and principal intercourse between men, and the relations which arise from them, are ideal, that is to say, they are based on the same temperament, thought, taste, ,etc.It was not until he was older that he realized that these relationships and exchanges were realistic, that is, based on some kind of material interests.Almost all relationships carry this foundation.Most people don't even know that other relationships exist.For this reason, people think of a person in terms of the position he holds, the business he conducts, the nation and family he belongs to.In a word, people pay attention to the role and position given to this person by secular conventions.So, a person is labeled and treated like a commodity.What the man is in himself, what he is according to his personal qualities, is mentioned only casually, and therefore only exceptionally.Human qualities are usually set aside, or ignored, according to individual needs.The more a person owns, the more he is dissatisfied with the arrangement of the secular routine, and the more he wants to withdraw from the circle of the secular crowd.The world arranges it this way because of the fact that, in this world of poverty and scarcity, the means of coping with scarcity and need are everywhere the most important and, therefore, overwhelming.

No.30 Three Sections

Just as banknotes are circulated instead of real money, so in this world, what is popular is not respect and true friendship from the heart, but only superficial efforts to show respect and friendship as realistically and naturally as possible.However, we might as well ask ourselves: who are we to spend real money on?Anyway, I think the wag of an honest dog is more valuable than the superficial gestures of people.

True friendship has such a premise: a strong, purely objective and completely dissociated sympathy for the pain and misfortune of a friend.It also means we truly empathize with our friends.But man's self-nature is so alien to such an approach, that true friendship, like those gigantic sea-serpents, is either a fable, or exists somewhere else, I don't know what.Many ties between human beings are of course chiefly founded on various hidden selfish motives, but some of these ties also contain bits and pieces of genuine friendship.In this way, they have been beautified and admired by people.In such a flawed world, it's not entirely unreasonable to brand these connections in the name of friendship.They are far superior to casual acquaintances.What kind of goods are the latter?If we knew what most of our best friends were saying behind our backs, we wouldn't want to talk to them anymore.

The best test of whether a man is our true friend, except in cases where definite help from a friend is required and a certain sacrifice is made, is when we tell him that some misfortune has happened to him.At that moment, his face would express either a genuine, unadulterated sorrow, or an expression of composure; or, he would express some other expression, both of which attested to the La Rochefoucauld's famous saying - "In the misfortunes of our best friends we always find something that does not displease us." At times like this, we generally call Those who are friends can't even hide a satisfied smile on their faces.Nothing can surely put another in a better mood than telling them that we have met with some great misfortune, or revealing without reserve some of our personal weaknesses.This is a typical example of human nature.

Friends who live too far apart and don't see each other for long periods of time can damage friendships, even though we don't like to admit it.If we haven't seen each other for a long time, even our dearest friends will gradually become abstract concepts as the years go by; our concern for them will become more and more rational, even this relationship is just a kind of inertia effect.But we can maintain a strong and deep interest in those whom we see day and night, even if it's just our pet animals.Human nature is so subject to the senses.So, Goethe's words apply here:
Now this moment is a mighty goddess.

The term "Hausfreunde" [23] is quite accurate, because this kind of friends are more friends of homeowners and families than friends of homeowners, so they are more like cats than dogs.

Friends say they are sincere, but in fact, enemies are sincere.Therefore, we should take the enemy's attacks and accusations as a bitter medicine, so as to learn more about ourselves.

Are friendships in need really that rare?On the contrary, as soon as we make friends with someone, he starts to suffer and borrows money from us.

No.30 Four Sections

A man who thinks he can gain the popularity of society by displaying his intelligence and ideas is indeed an unsophisticated boy!The truth is quite the opposite: for the vast majority of people, the appearance of intelligence and thought in a man only excites hatred and revulsion against him; People who feel these emotions have no reason to complain about the causes of these emotions, and they even have to keep them hidden from themselves.The fact is that if a person observes and feels some intellectual superiority in the other person he is talking to, he will conclude that the other person must also observe and feel his own intellectual superiority to the same extent. Intellectual disadvantage.This was the conclusion he had reached in private, without being conscious of it.This omitted three-paragraph inference aroused his immense indignation and resentment (cf. Chapter 19 of the second volume of "The World as Will and Appearance" - where I quote Dr. Johnson and Meck, Goethe's youthful friend. discourse), so Gracian's words are quite correct: "The only way to please others is to wrap yourself in the skin of the stupidest animal." [24] Showing your own intelligence is actually indirectly accusing others of being stupid and stupid. inability.Moreover, a man of vulgar nature, when confronted with his own opposite, will have a feeling of resistance in his heart, and it is his jealousy that secretly stirs up this feeling.We see every day that the gratification of vanity gives more pleasure than any other, but it can only be obtained by comparing oneself with others.For humans, the most worthy of our pride is the spiritual and ideological quality, because it is based on this advantage that humans are superior to animals【25】.It would, therefore, be extremely reckless and reckless to display this undoubted advantage of one's own, especially in the presence of other people.In this way, people will be stimulated to seek revenge and will wait for an opportunity to insult the offender.For by insulting one leaves the realm of the mind and the intellect and enters the realm of the will, in which all men are the same.Therefore, in society, status and wealth can be expected to be respected and loved by people, but spiritual superiority can never be expected to be treated in this way.The best that has ever happened to me is that the superiority of the spiritual mind is disregarded by others; and if this were not the case, then the superiority of the spiritual mind would be considered a disrespect and an offense, or it would be considered The possessors of the spirit obtained their gifts through illegitimate means, and now they show them off!For this reason, privately, everyone deliberately humiliates such a person in one way or another.Everyone is waiting for the time to act.Even the most humble demeanor will seldom succeed in convincing others to forgive one's intellectual superiority.Sadie said in "The Rose Garden": "We should realize that a fool is a hundred times more disgusted with a wise man than a wise man is with a fool." In contrast, showing inferior spiritual thoughts is indeed a recommended behavior, because As warmth comforts our bodies, so feeling our superiority comforts our minds.Every man, therefore, instinctively approaches objects which give him this feeling of superiority, just as he instinctively walks towards the sun or towards a stove.Then, such an object, for a man, is a person whose spiritual and ideological quality is obviously inferior; for a woman, it is a person whose appearance is not as good as her own.Of course, it takes a lot of work to clearly show our inadequacies to those we meet.We can see how friendly and warmly a fair girl welcomes an ugly girl!For men, physical superiority is not a crucial issue, although it is more comfortable to stand with someone who is smaller than us than with someone who is taller than us.Therefore, generally speaking, among men, stupid and ignorant people are popular, but among women, ugly women are popular.It is easy for these people to gain a reputation for having a good heart, because everyone needs an excuse for their liking, in order to deceive themselves and others.For this reason, no matter what type of spiritual quality you have, you will isolate yourself.People resent this advantage in others and avoid it.In order to find a justification for doing so, people put all kinds of shortcomings and evil deeds on this person with outstanding ideas [26].Looks play the same role in women.Beautiful girls can never find friends of the same sex, not even ordinary female companions.They had better not apply for the positions of accompanying dame, for the moment they appear, the faces of their prospective new masters are somber--they, or their daughters, need no such foil!In contrast, having a superior position is another matter, for superiority does not work, as individual qualities do, by contrasting and manifesting differences, but by reflexion, as in The colors of our surroundings are reflected in our faces.

No.30 Five Sections

We trust and reveal secrets to others, mostly because of our laziness, selfishness and vanity.Laziness arises from the fact that instead of investigating, discovering, and being alert, we prefer to trust others.Selfishness, because talking about our needs leads us to reveal some secrets to others; vanity, because we talk about things we are proud of.Even so, we still expect others to respect the trust we place in them.

And we should not be outraged at the mistrust of others, because this distrust involves a respect for honesty, that is to say, the sincere perception that honesty is so rare that we must not Do not doubt that honesty exists.

(End of this chapter)