Calm: Be a calm woman

Chapter 14 Freedom of Advance and Retreat—A Calm Woman Practices the Art of Love and Stabilizes Her Emotions (2)
Give men the power to change
In an article for Cosmopolitan, Margaret told women: "As a wife, never say to your husband: 'You have failed!' Even if he does fail, his boss should Tell him, rather than you tell him the truth at home at the dinner table, in bed. In other words, as a wife, once you say to your husband, "You can't succeed no matter what!", in addition to making the husband fail faster , without any positive effect."

Margaret's statement makes sense.Sometimes, it is difficult for us to imagine that what we say will have such a great impact on our husband, but it is all true!A smart woman never denies her husband easily, they will be very cautious every time they speak, and will consider the possible impact and consequences of their words.

Tom Joneston is a World War II veteran who lives at 300 Mount Street, Manchester City.He was very young, but one of his legs was crippled by a war wound.Fortunately, he is also able to swim, which is his favorite sport.

One weekend, he and his wife went to Hampton Beach for a holiday.After a simple surfing exercise, Mr. Johnston lay comfortably on the beach and enjoyed sunbathing.However, he soon noticed the astonished eyes of the tourists. At this time, he realized that his scarred legs were too eye-catching.

One weekend, when his wife offered to go to the beach again, Johnston said no.To this, the wife said: "I know why you don't want to go to the beach, Tom, you are delusional about the scars on your legs. You know, they are not a shame, they are badges of courage. You have paid a lot to earn them. Scars, and now you want to hide them! You should always remember how you got them, and honor them."

Mrs.'s words had a great effect on Tom, and the shadow in his heart was completely lifted.Under the encouraging eyes of his wife, he felt that he had become an extremely tall hero.Since then, he is no longer afraid to expose his injured leg on the beach, but full of pride and pride, because he knows what his wife thinks and supports him.

One spring, the Sales Managers Club of the Boston Chamber of Commerce held a five-night course on salesmanship.The scale of the course is very large, about 500 salesmen and salesmen participated in the study of this course.During this period, the most popular program among the participating women was a very special program, which taught female friends how to encourage their husbands, so as to help husbands in the sales industry achieve better sales performance.

In this topic, Dr. David Bowles participated in the lecture.He is the president of the Sea Bowles Institute, a business consultant, and the author of Towards a New Life.In his speech, he encouraged every wife to send her husband out in person in the morning, and find a way to make him whistle to work with confidence and joy.If a wife wants her husband to increase his sales and his monthly salary, the only way to do that is to convince him that he has become what he wants to be, Bowles said.

Powers told the women in the class: "Tell your husband how handsome he is—even if his taste in clothes is out of date. You can compliment his style, compliment his favorite tie pattern, and only Just don’t mention his gaffe at the dinner the night before. Tell him you know he’s going to wow every customer—just say so, and he’ll do it!”

If your husband is also in sales, why don't you try the method Dr. Bowers recommends?You know, Bowers is a sales manager in the sales industry. Even he believes that this method is effective. What doubts do you have?Once we think we are about to have a happier, more confident, and more enthusiastic husband, we should try hard.

Eli Capelson is a very good bridge player.However, when he first arrived in the United States, he also encountered numerous failures.At that time, he was not only not good, but even the worst bridge player.However, all this changed completely after he married the charming bridge teacher Josephine.With his wife's unwavering encouragement day after day, he gradually believed that he was a bridge talent with great potential.For this reason, he chose bridge as his lifelong career, and he worked tirelessly.Sure enough, not long after, he really became as good as he imagined, and became an out-and-out excellent bridge player.All this is due to his wife, she changed him!

Almost no one can be as perfect as his ideal, or almost everyone shapes himself to be extremely perfect in his imagination.However, there is always a gap between reality and ideal, so we need to make continuous progress.In this regard, Chester Wild once said: "Anyone is actually two people, one is his real self, and the other is his ideal self." Or small gaps, we need to continue to work hard to make ourselves close to the ideal perfection.

If a man is naturally cowardly, he will try to make himself brave.If a person is not popular enough, he wants to be popular.If a person is always low self-esteem, then he will long for himself to be able to stand confidently on top of the crowd.Especially for many men, they need change, and at the same time, they also need the power to change.Where does strength come from?In love, the wife is undoubtedly the person who can best give her husband this power.It can be said that every wife has the responsibility to help her husband become his ideal person.In life, many wives find fault with their husbands, compare their husbands with other men, and force their husbands to work hard and pursue success.As everyone knows, these are not what a good wife should do.A wise wife should gently encourage her husband at all times, praise her husband everywhere, and never give up on her husband even when he encounters setbacks and failures.It can be said that the encouragement of the wife is the power for the husband to change.

Mary Wilson once wrote in a book: "When men get compliments from their wives, when they hear their wives say, 'You are amazing! I am so proud of you! I am so happy to be your wife!'" Almost every man is in high spirits when he speaks the same words.” Many men agree with this statement.

Mr. Bob Pikes, 209 West Dipper Street, Rocksville, Tennessee, was a very successful man who owned the Pikes Trucking Company.

Mr. Pax once wrote to me: "I am a firm believer that a man can be not only what he wants to be, but also what his wife wants him to be. Over the years I have hired A lot of people, and yet I've always held to the principle that I would never give them a major responsibility without first talking to their wives, because I know how a wife behaves and how much she can inspire a husband's morale , can determine a man's success or failure in his career. This principle has been well verified in me."

"Before marrying me, my wife was a princess who had everything. Her parents loved her very much, gave her a good education, and gave her a happy and wealthy family. Compared with her, I was poor and poor. The level of education is not high. It can be said that I have nothing but great ambitions and her confidence and trust in me."

"When we first got married, the days were the most difficult. I encountered failures one after another. Only her understanding and encouragement could inspire me to continue to sprint. It is hard to imagine that without my wife, I would not be where I am today."

"Throughout my life journey, all my success is inseparable from the constant support and assistance of my wife. In the past few years, she was seriously ill, but none of this stopped her from supporting me and encouraging me. Regardless Whenever, her heart is always thinking of helping me. When I left home in the morning, she asked me for decades: "Bob, do you need me to do anything for you today?" When I came home She always asks me about my day, comforts me, encourages me, and praises me. I pray every day that I never let her down!"

Facing such a wife who stands unswervingly by his side and encourages him no matter what, why does Bob not work hard?Even if he is not perfect, even if he has many shortcomings and deficiencies, even if he often encounters the hurricane of fate, he will be able to overcome all these difficulties and make himself the ideal person of his wife.As for those wives who only want to change their husbands and hope for quick success and quick profits, Mrs. Bob is undoubtedly smart.She only encourages her husband, but never puts any pressure on him. Because of this, her husband will become better and better, and she will have the courage to go out of the house every morning to fight hard, and she will look forward to a different one every night. Letting his wife down, he returned home.

Whenever a woman wants to make a man change, the only way is to encourage him.

Only a heart-to-heart marriage can go on
For a long time, people have been accustomed to use flowers to describe love.Although flowers are not expensive and easy to buy, many women never pay attention to the details of caring for their husbands. Therefore, love gradually disappears in the forgetting and ignoring of these details.Of course, some female friends may say that men should send flowers to women.In love, women do enjoy flowers from men with more peace of mind, but wouldn't it be better if women could also reciprocate?Love pays and returns equally to both men and women. If you only pay unilaterally, love will not last long.As female friends, we should be more devoted to love, so that we can gain more happiness.

As a judge in Chicago, Joseph Sabas has handled 4 cases of marital crises. In the process, because of his successful mediation, [-] couples have restored harmonious relations.In this regard, he said: "The reason why many couples have conflicts is because they neglect the details of life. For example, the husband always forgets to say goodbye to his wife when he goes to work and leaves home."

A romantic and happy marriage requires the parties concerned to manage it carefully. If we always ignore the details of life, we will lose a lot of wonderful marriage experiences.In the world of poetry, Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning are undoubtedly a very enviable couple. It can be said that their union is the most wonderful marriage ever.Every day, no matter how busy Browning is, he pays great attention to caring for and praising his wife in details.It is precisely because of his meticulous and passionate love that Mrs. Browning, who is disabled, can proudly say: "I think I am an angel." This feeling is something that almost every woman attaches great importance to and Desperate, however, many men don't realize the importance of caring for a woman in the little things.

In essence, marriage is made up of little things and trivial details.In married life, not only women need a man's romance and thoughtfulness in details, men also need a woman's delicacy and tenderness.While women are eager to get flowers and sweet words from men, women should also take the initiative to care about men and express their love and concern to men.All in all, whether it is a man or a woman, if you want to have a happy marriage, you must pay attention to details and pay attention to each other's feelings.

Many times, men are not as strong as we think, and many times, men need the gentle support of women more.Therefore, women, while calling and yearning for the care and love of men again and again, don't be stingy with what you pay for men.

There are six days a week in court for marriage and divorce proceedings.Surprisingly, the number of divorced people accounted for one-tenth of the number of married people.However, the reasons for their divorce are often surprising, because most divorced couples do not have irreconcilable major conflicts, but just because of some trivial matters.This is exactly what Edna Vincent once wrote in her poem - "Love disappears, gradually disappearing from the small details." Every couple should extract the following passage , and put it in a conspicuous position, so that you can always remind yourself to cherish every bit of happiness in your married life and care about any tiny feelings of your lover.The content is as follows: "If we don't pay attention, many precious things will slip away from our hands. Therefore, we should do things that are beneficial to others in time, and express our concern for our lover in time. Don't wait at any time, and be timely. Do it, and don't let them slip away when we're careless."

In addition to ignoring subtle feelings and details of life, nonsense and unreasonableness are also cancers of marriage.

Daughter of prominent American orator and presidential candidate James Bryan married Watt Trudge.After marriage, the young couple lives a happy and fulfilling life, which is enviable.In this regard, Mrs. Duluzhi has a unique feeling.Regarding marriage, she said: "After marriage, I treat my husband with respect. If every young couple can treat each other with courtesy in their married life, the result will be much more gratifying."

Although everyone knows that being unreasonable is a cancer of love, there are still many people who cannot control their emotions, especially when facing our lover, we seem to be even more unable to control our emotions and become unscrupulous.There is a strange phenomenon in life, that is, we can treat strangers with courtesy, but we cannot treat family members equally.To paraphrase Dorothy Dix: "It astonishes us, but it is a true fact that the people who wound us as mercilessly as knives are members of our family."

Politeness plays a very important role in marriage and family. Regarding this, Henry Crow once said: "Courteousness is the lubricant of marriage." Many female friends are often more emotional. If you can control your emotions reasonably, you Put an end to hysterical and unreasonable mistakes in married life, then you will definitely have a happier marriage.Remember, home is where we share our love and good feelings, not our emotional crap.Love is a delicate flower. If you want to keep it alive and vigorous, and constantly emit a fragrant smell, the majority of female friends should always water this flower of love carefully, so as to have a happy married life.

The third party of men and women is empathy
In life, most girls talk about everything with their mothers, and they also have a few best friends who talk to each other and vent their emotions.So for a man, who will he talk to?In addition to drinking and chatting with buddies, in the workplace, the closest partner to a man is undoubtedly the female secretary.For men in the workplace, a good secretary should not only be dedicated to improving the interests of the boss, so that the boss can work with ease, but also take into account the emotions of the boss, helping the boss deal with some trivial matters on the edge of life and work, so that the boss can have a fuller life. Emotional engagement at work.Specifically, the scope of work of the female secretary includes helping the boss make coffee, attending various public occasions with the boss, and even helping the boss buy clothes.If you leave the female secretary, I believe that the trajectory of many men in the workplace will become less smooth.

(End of this chapter)