Second marriage itch

Chapter 235

The smile in Jiang Feng's eyes receded little by little.

"You want to drive me away so much?"

I shook my head, "No, I don't want to delay you, you should find a woman, get married and have children. And I..."

I lowered my eyes sadly, and the sadness in my heart quietly surfaced again.

"I'm not planning on getting married again."

Jiang Feng leaned back, tilted his head, hooked the corners of his lips, and said half-jokingly, "Whether you get married or not is just a piece of paper. When a child grows up, he must have a father. I will force you to sleep with me again."

"Jiang Feng!" I looked at him helplessly.

He shrugged and smiled wryly, "Okay, I'm just kidding, I know, you don't need me now, I'll go!"

This meal was very unpleasant. There seemed to be a sad and sad factor floating in the air, melting into the food and stimulating our sense of taste.

After the meal, when I came out after washing the dishes, Jiang Feng sat on the sofa, motionless, only a faint smoke rising in front of his eyes.

Just as the nanny came down with the two children in her arms, Jiang Feng stubbed out the cigarette butt and walked towards them.

The two children had spent a lot of time in contact with Jiang Feng these days, and they were already very familiar with him, and they opened their little hands to hug him from a distance.

Jiang Feng squatted down, held the two children in his arms, and kissed their cheeks.

True feelings cannot be faked, just like the love and reluctance he expressed now is completely true.

After releasing the child, the children quickly went to play with their toys.For young children, their world is simple and happy, without so many joys and sorrows.Even when I taught them to wave goodbye to Jiang Feng, they were all happy, perfunctory, and didn't understand the sadness of parting at all.

I sent Jiang Feng out, and the snow outside was falling heavily, and large flakes of snow were like goose feathers, swirling one after another.

A lot of snowflakes fell on Jiang Feng's black hair very quickly, and I think it's the same on my head.

When he got to his car, he stopped, turned his head and said half-jokingly to me, "Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?"

Although he was smiling, I could clearly see a trace of sadness in his smile.

He talked to me when he saw me, and he said, "Then let's have a hug before parting!"

He approached me and hugged me gently.This hug was not as strong and violent as before, nor did it contain any trace of desire, it was just a sympathetic and reluctant hug.

After hugging me for a while, he let go of me, gently patted the snowflakes off my head, and said softly, "Take care of yourself!"

I said yes.

I stood there for a long time, watching his car leave.

I know that I owe him more than just one finger, but I can't repay him in this life.

Changing into a thick down jacket, I braved the wind and snow and went out to the Martyrs Cemetery.

Now the earth has been completely covered by heavy snow, and there is a vast expanse of whiteness everywhere.

In fact, I have always held a fantasy in my heart that he will come back, hoping that one day he will suddenly appear in front of me.But as time went by, I had to accept this reality.

He really left me and the kids and couldn't come back.

Walking into the cemetery with flowers in my arms, I saw a figure standing in the wind and snow from a distance.

I walked in, put flowers in front of the tombstone, and worked up the courage to look at the photos on the tombstone.

With just one glance, my heart suddenly tightened in pain.

He is still handsome in the photo, and he is still so young.

But he's gone, gone, just gone.

"I've only discovered now that I really never really knew my brother."

A wry sigh came from the wind and snow.

I stood up and looked at the tombstone, feeling sad in my heart.

"I don't think anyone really understands him. Only he himself knows what kind of mission he is fighting against. Therefore, no one can understand the pain in his heart. He can only resist it by himself until the day when his shoulders can no longer bear it. From then on Not being understood is his greatest sorrow."

Zhuo Fan put his hands in his pockets and stared at the tombstone, seeming to sigh a lot, but in the end it all turned into a sigh.

Zhuo Fan turned and left until his shoulders and hair were covered with snowflakes.

I stayed for a while longer before leaving the cemetery.

On the 28th of the twelfth lunar month, I went to the supermarket alone.

Everyone was carrying a sumptuous New Year's goods, and the joy of the New Year was on their faces.This joy is so dazzling, it seems a little dazzling to me.Because it is so striking against my sadness and loneliness.

I walked around the supermarket in a daze, seeming to have forgotten what I wanted to buy.

Passing by the area where clothes are sold, there is a New Year promotion there, and many aunts are snapping up special clothes there.But I actually saw Bei Nan in this group of aunts.

She was wearing sunglasses, covering most of her face, submerging herself in the crowd in a low-key manner.She picked out a special-priced down jacket from a pile of cheap clothes. I think the color and style of the clothes are only suitable for middle-aged and elderly people.

She took the suit to the cashier, fumbled for a card and handed it over, the cashier swiped it and handed it back to her.

"Miss, I'm sorry, this card of yours can't be used, can you change it?"

Nan Bei was stunned for a few seconds, then handed over another card.But just like before, the cashier still said they couldn't do it.

Bei Nan rummaged through the bag in embarrassment, the roots of his ears turned red.

The line behind waiting for the checkout was getting longer and longer, and everyone began to whisper.

"How much?" I asked.

Nanbei should have recognized my voice, and suddenly turned around.I couldn't see her eyes because of the shade, but I think she must be shocked and embarrassed at the moment.

"260 eight." The waiter replied.

I nodded, drew a card and handed it in.

"Swipe mine."

The waiter took it, swiped the card quickly, returned the card to me, and handed the clothes to Beinan.

When Nanbei reached out to take it, the movement was slow and difficult, but she still took it.

After leaving the supermarket, we found a coffee shop and sat down.

I didn't speak first, let alone ask how she was doing, I didn't want to irritate her strong pride.

After sitting for a while, the cold air brought in from the outside had completely dissipated, Nan Bei finally spoke first, his tone was cramped and uneasy.

"Thank you, I will pay you back the money when I borrowed it from you."

I shook my head lightly, "No, if I were a stranger today, I would have helped out with the more than 200 yuan. I was a child who grew up in a poor environment, and I have encountered such a situation before. I understand the embarrassment and helplessness."

Bei Nan lowered his head and did not speak.

After a while, she raised her head.

"I've heard about Brother Duyun, but I really didn't expect that he..."

At this point, her voice became hoarse, as if she was too sad to speak.Tears also flowed down from the bottom of the sunglasses.

"I know, I did a lot of wrong things in the past. Brother Duyun was always angry with me, and I said that I would wait for his anger to subside, and then apologize to him and ask for his forgiveness. But he I will never have the chance to apologize to him for leaving so suddenly."

I turned my head to look at the white snow outside the glass window, my eyes blurred instantly.

"Are those important? It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing is as important as his being alive."

Nanbei's tears kept slipping down from the back of the sunglasses, and he said sadly with a nasal voice, "Actually, I regret it. I have made him angry and embarrassed him so much in the past. If you give me another chance , I will definitely not be like this. In this world, there are not many people who treat me well, so at that time Brother Duyun doted on me so much, I felt so happy. I was just afraid that he would be snatched away, and I was afraid of losing his favor. "

I sighed softly, "Although he sometimes blames you, but from the bottom of his heart, he still hopes that you will have a good life. He always treats you like a younger sister."

Nan Bei seemed to have been poked into a sore spot, and suddenly covered his mouth and cried uncontrollably.

"But I failed his expectations."

After crying for a while, she finally took off the sunglasses on her face, revealing the bruises on the corners of her eyes and the bridge of her nose.

"Your husband hit you?"

Nanbei took out a tissue, wiped away tears, sniffed and said, "I married him in a flash, but I didn't know him well. When we first got married, he was very nice to me, but less than one Within a month, his novelty towards me passed, and it was common for him to spend all day drinking and drinking outside, and not coming home at night. He beat and kicked me when he came back drunk, and he didn't treat me as a human being at all. "

I remember that the last time Nan Bei came to Yu Zhuang, she still looked like a wealthy wife. She did not expect that after marrying into a wealthy family, she is now living such a miserable life.

She didn't bother to wipe the tears away, and said with a wry smile, "I was always against you in the past, but now seeing me live like this, you must be very happy, right?"

I looked at her and shook my head, "I didn't feel very happy, I felt very sad, and I felt sad for Duyun. He spent a lot of effort and paved the way in order to realize your dream, but you didn't work hard enough. You ruined your own way. Did you marry because of love? No, I have more reason to believe it was because of your vanity."

If it was in the past, if I said her like this, she would have responded to me with sharper and meaner words, but this time she didn't.

She let the tears run down her face, her nose and eyes were red from crying, and she looked embarrassed.

"Yes, I deserve it myself. I thought that if I married into a wealthy family, I would live a life without worry. A few days ago, he blatantly brought the woman home. I was so angry that I quarreled with him. He said he would take my card Stop it, I thought he was just talking, but I didn't expect him to do such a great job. I bought this dress for my mother, and now I have no source of income. If I want to buy something for my mother, it depends on his face. I don’t dare to buy expensive ones, he will check the account, and if he sees that I have used too much, he will scold me.”

Holding the coffee in my hand, I said with emotion, "So women must not lose the ability to make money at any time."

Nan Bei lowered his head and said dejectedly, "I haven't filmed a movie for a long time, and now no one comes to me even for small roles."

I said, "Don't aim too high, don't set yourself too high. At worst, start from the beginning. Aren't many first-line stars who started out by playing tricks? People are not afraid to start all over again, but they are afraid that they will not have the courage to start all over again."

Nan Bei raised his head and looked at me blankly, with tears still on his face.

I put the checkout money on the table, got up and left with my bag.

Walking out of the coffee shop, it was cold and windy, and I subconsciously wrapped my clothes tightly.

People are not afraid to start all over again, but they are afraid that they will not have the courage to start all over again.But I am not afraid that I will not have the courage to start all over again, I am afraid that I will not have the opportunity to start all over again.

If I can start all over again, what do I care about?Hypocritical what?As long as God is willing to give him back to me, I am willing to exchange everything I have.

However, it is impossible to have such a chance to start all over again.

On New Year's Eve, Xu Yafei said that everyone would have a New Year's Eve dinner together, and he would be the cook.

I know that he just wants to divert my sadness and drive away my loneliness with excitement.

The meal was really lively, Xue Li, Wu Xiaotong, Yang Wei, and Jiang Li all came.I thought that Jiang Feng was also alone, so I called him here, because he hadn't left Nancheng yet.

No one mentioned any unhappy things at the dinner table, as if they all lost their memory and forgot a certain person.

But I can't forget that no matter how lively this reunion dinner is, without him, my heart will be empty.

After eating, I stood outside the living room watching the snow, and heard the sound of fireworks coming from a distant place, which instantly brought back my memory.

I suddenly went back to the living room, grabbed my bag and went out the door.

They chased me out, and I was already in the car. When I received worried looks from them, I tried to put on a reassuring smile and said to them, "Don't worry, I'm just going to a place, and nothing will happen."

There is very little traffic on the road, everyone should have gone home and reunited.

And I am driving the car at the moment, feeling so anxious, as if I am going on a date.

I drove the car to Sky International, and the security guard on duty knew me and let me in without worry.

At this time, the Sky International Building was very empty, so I went straight to the rooftop.

Standing by the railing, I looked at the dim lights of the city.

I remember that year's New Year's Eve, we watched the fireworks here, kissed in the New Year's bell, and welcomed the arrival of the New Year.

He said that we will spend New Year's Eve here every year in the future.

Xue Duyun, you said this yourself, it is an agreement between you and me.

I'm here, but where are you?
At this moment, fireworks have started to be set off everywhere, and the fireworks are shining everywhere.

And the colors blooming in the sky gradually turned into blurred shadows in my eyes, and the sound of fireworks bursting into the sky was not a bit festive to me, but it was the most tragic music.

At this moment, I really miss him crazily, miss him, miss him.

"Duyun, can you come back and take a look at me because I miss you so much?"

On the deserted rooftop, I have already burst into tears at the bustle and festivities of the city.

Suddenly, there was a creak, the sound of the iron door on the roof being pushed open.

I thought that no one else would come here on such a family reunion day.

I turned around slowly and looked at the opened door.

(End of this chapter)