Before You Leave Me

I walk in the house to find dad cooking dinner. He looks different, better at least. Why does it feel like I haven't been home in ages. I sit my bag on the kitchen counter hoping for him to recognize that i'm in the same room as him. I deliberately make noise, just enough for him to be distracted from his cooking that he seems to be very interested in all of a sudden. The tiny bit of hope I had that this could be the time that I open up to him again fades away. I'm mad at my self for how much it hurts me.

''Were have you been'' he says not looking up from the pot he's stirring. It's not like he cares were i've been.

''Out with someone''

''Whats her name?'' he says, this time sitting down his spoon and looking at me.

''How do you know it's a girl i'm talking about?'' i ask, starting to get defensive

''Two reasons. The first, i'm not dumb, and the second, I know my son.'' he says while smiling.

''I just wish you knew me a little bit more'' i say quietly hoping he didn't hear me.

''like what?'' he says, taking a seat now facing me.

''I don't know... Just stuff i guess. I wish we were closer, I wish... we were a family.'' i say, letting my feelings speak for myself. I've never been this open with him before, it feels strange, like i don't know what could happen next. Apart of me wishes i would of never said anything about how I feel. I look up from the ground and see that he's holding back tears.

''Dad, come on... I'm sorry, i shouldn't of said that''

''No. It's how you feel. I understand, thank you for telling me.'' he says trying his best to hold his tears from dripping down his face. I pick my bag up from the table and try to escape to my room, away from the emotions and broken relationships.

''Scottie?'' dad says, before i can make it to the stairs

''yeah?''

''I'm trying. I really am trying.'' he says, finally letting a tear escape.

'' I know dad'' Everybody deserves a second chance I think to myself.