Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

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82. Alicia, can you share your journey with me?

Many seemingly insane attempts to test a lover's feelings, as if the person in question is mentally unstable, are essentially driven by this same mentality.

Suspicion is a human trait, and also a strength that can scare oneself to death.

—Only an explanation that can convince yourself is acceptable.

Humans must at least convince themselves.

This pain, this somewhat extreme act, is what a girl with low self-esteem does when facing a boy she can neither let go of nor is willing to let go of—something she believes only she can do, something unique.

Because I can't find my own strengths, I can't find... at least I don't think I can find the qualities that make me a good match for a gentle young man.

They are unwilling to accept the fate of being abandoned—even though it is impossible. Just from the instinct of human beings, they will feel uneasy and speculate. Just like when watching a horror movie, no matter how scary it is, they will only think more deeply and imagine more scenes that will make them scream.

The limitations of the human species have led to countless diseases and errors, and this brain, which far surpasses that of other races, also has countless flaws.

Perhaps a strong sense of suspicion is necessary in the competition of nature. Only by questioning everything around us can we carefully discover all the problems and survive in a cruel world where even a single blade of grass might be poisonous.

However, this behavior, like diabetes, has become a negative effect in today's society.

This problem is essentially unsolvable because it stems not from one's own incompetence, but from feelings of inferiority.

If the problem of low self-esteem is not resolved, then no matter how many strengths you have, you will always see the part that makes you unqualified.

Even if they are completely qualified, they will only look for the parts of themselves that are flawed.

In this situation, being dragged along by emotions will only lead to endless torment, and may even cause one to test love in order to find inner peace.

Trust between people should not be tested, not because it is extremely fragile, but because testing itself consumes love.

Just like the classic nursery rhyme "The Boy Who Cried Wolf," any patience and love can be worn down and hurt by deception from others.

If you want to make up for your inner problems, you have to find another way and find something that can successfully convince yourself and your inner self.

Even if it might seem a little humble.

Even if it might seem a bit perverse.

What is anything compared to this love?

What is that compared to today's knowledgeable teenagers?

'Am I really going to abandon Jiangcheng and bear that pain for the sake of such vague and intangible notions of dignity, honor, and face?'

—It's ridiculous, incomprehensible.

Just like the girl's atonement, this pain is essentially a way of convincing herself that she has been punished, a way of transferring the pain from within.

The girl in the past couldn't convince herself or accept her own escape. She believed that she was the one who repeatedly shattered the beautiful life that belonged to her as a boy, so she chose to endure the endless blows to her soul.

It's completely different now; it's no longer the same as it used to be.

She has already been severely beaten.

She's become too numb.

All that remained of her once flawless beauty was madness; the once adorable fairy was battered by the storm and nearly fell off, even her petals drooping.

The sky in my heart had darkened to a gloomy gray, and rolling thunder, accompanied by a violent storm, struck down fiercely, destroying my entire inner world.

The slender, delicate green leaves and the fresh, shimmering cherry blossom petals swayed wearily in the wind and rain.

No matter how hard the branch tries, it can only break helplessly.

A broken flower can only droop its shattered petals, thus losing its right to stand high above as it once did.

This will make them more aware of their mistakes and more aware of this favoritism.

Perhaps the girl still can't claim that she can completely accept herself, but she shouldn't be bothered by such a trivial matter.

……

A raging, unhindered storm, carrying countless bursts of Honkai energy, lashed the ravaged earth. No more mountains or trees could conceal this catastrophe. Even giant lakes were eroded and shattered by the Honkai energy. The disappearance of human presence did not mean that any life could settle here again.

As if no longer concealing it, the gods directly equipped this natural phenomenon with a sharp scraper, which stripped the ground bare with just a light touch.

The howling sound, like the wailing of ghosts and wolves, created natural music in countless hollows, as if one were falling into the most terrifying hell.

Until it had gathered all its strength, a gust of wind came from an unknown distance, but it only lifted a strand of the girl's long hair and fluttered her rather long eyelashes.

"Generally speaking, shouldn't I be the one who insists on chasing after someone but can't catch up, who wants to move forward and get closer but worries that it might make the other person feel disgusted?"

“In my memory, I have been in this somewhat humble position for several years... no, strictly speaking, for nearly a decade.”

"What bizarre things are contained in this part of my lost memory?"

Jiang Cheng gently gathered the energy that shimmered like starlight, and his eyes were reflected in the dim, ghostly light—his doubts had been replaced by a strange understanding hidden in them.

Why did he feel confused, bewildered, and yet, based on this confusion, feel a sense of understanding as if he knew the answer?

It was as if this strange memory, which had been sealed away in my heart, had been firmly answered.

It doesn't require any deep thinking.

All you need is that memory to know naturally.

"what……"

"Is this the problem?"

Beneath Alicia's long hair, which was being blown by the wind, a hint of embarrassment flashed in her cherry-colored eyes. She could only continue to bury her face in the boy's hair.

She used an ostrich-like approach to avoid the boy's unintentional questioning, while also using this warmth to stop herself from overthinking.

That's my problem.

In the past, young girls were too naive and oblivious to worldly affairs, subconsciously believing that being pursued by others was a matter of course.

She won't discuss the reasons for this, won't show favoritism towards others, and won't truly stop to look at those who are pursuing her. Even a birthday party meant for one person will be transformed by the girl into a gathering for everyone.

The girl at that time never realized that the fact that she could stand there was itself a sign of being favored by others, and that her happy life was due to the single person who was favored by everyone who looked at her.

—She grew up surrounded by favoritism from birth.

The essence of the most sincere human love is a kind of affection that does not come from self-interest, nor is it changed by efficiency; it is only for one person.

Universal love and great love belong to God. Only those who claim to be close to God and different from ordinary people will spread their love to everyone and love those who are not alone or a single individual.

Because an individual's time is limited, the time that can be spent with others is not much; no matter who it is, there are only twenty-four hours in a day.

Because the human brain has a limited capacity for memory, the warm and happy memories of others that can be recorded will become blurred as the number of memories increases.

Because the emotions in a human heart are finite, no matter how beautiful a heart may be, it is impossible to sustain endless love forever.

Ignoring or forgetting this essential aspect will only bring endless disaster to yourself and those around you.

Life would be too painful if we were never satisfied, if we couldn't recognize our own limits, and if we tried to do things that we couldn't do.

Just like the disasters he once brought, because he couldn't recognize his own limits, he even pushed the lives of teenagers onto others.

They were two people who loved each other, childhood sweethearts who had been together since birth, and whose lives were destined to be happy no matter what. But they were ruined little by little by this person who was not satisfied and did not understand himself.

Along with love.

Along with happiness.

Along with life.

Delivered together, lost together.

Even becoming an observer of other people's wonderful lives, watching others interact intimately with their children, and seeing others use their beloved children, has become a happiness that they dare not even imagine in their dreams.

We've finally solved this problem and regained our exclusive rights.

We absolutely cannot, and must never, repeat the same mistakes.

and so……

"Since it's something that's already forgotten, like the wind blowing across the grass without leaving a trace, there's no need to recall it anymore."

"Vilvie is dead. Reviving you is the result of all my efforts. Recalling things will only add to the sorrow."

Please don't be disappointed in me.

Please don't suffer again.

……

Let's just ignore the past.

Since you've already forgotten it, don't dwell on it.

It's all in the past; no one in this world will remember it clearly.

Although this memory remains intact deep within your heart, and although this past wasn't buried with the Spiral Workshop, there are still people in this world who remember, and still voyeurs living on.

[You remain shameless, burying this memory deep in your heart without hesitation, choosing to conceal the whole truth and the past.]

[If Jiang Cheng hadn't known Wilvie or that girl, he wouldn't have suffered the pain of loss, and he wouldn't have chosen to leave you, right?]

You can no longer accept losing again. You've finally emerged from the darkness and are feeling a glimmer of hope and light once more.

If the boy showed you disappointment, you'd probably break down.

Absolutely, definitely.

There won't even be a buffer period.

[I'll allow you to temporarily ignore these things, burying your past love deep in your heart, pressing it to the bottom of your memory library.]

[—Wasn't Virvi also hoping you would do this?]

The girl has become Icarus, willing to give everything as a bridge between you and the boy, simply so that the boy can live a happy life, so that he can forget all his sorrow and grief. Although things diverged greatly from what she had instructed him to do along the way, wasn't the final result the same as what she wanted?

Although the process was tortuous and full of twists and turns, and often not so pleasant along the way, possibly involving endless disasters and walking in darkness.

Like the Little Mermaid, she suffered countless hardships, unable even to embrace her beloved, forced to watch as the prince and princess embraced, turning into sea foam in the sunlight.

Despite facing formidable enemies, far beyond imagination, even with their utmost efforts, they often cannot contend with the Great Demon King and are easily bound by his power.

Like Little Red Riding Hood, they encountered the wicked Big Bad Wolf, and Grandma was also preyed upon. Their only reunion was through deception inside the wolf's belly.