Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

"Don't say that."

"I don't really remember either, so you have to explain it to me again and again."

"I can't remember or imagine exactly what this place looks like, but at least based on what you said and my own mental imagery."

Jiang Cheng gently patted the back of the hand resting on his shoulder. The slender, soft fingertips could still feel the soil. He took a deep breath and looked at the rusty, misaligned yellow train on the coastal tracks. He exhaled the breath, which had been softened by the power of the origin and was still fragrant.

"this is not……"

"—Isn't that great already?"

……

In this way, there will be absolutely no regrets at this birthday party—Jiang Cheng has accepted all your imperfections and mistakes with equanimity.

Only now do you realize how short this journey truly is; if you were just looking at the scenery, it wouldn't even take two years.

How foolish and arrogant you were back then! Even just recalling a fraction of your actions makes me want to vomit.

[This trip is clearly just between you and Jiang Cheng, childhood sweethearts, to broaden your horizons and see the world together.]

We had agreed to do whatever we wanted, wherever we wanted, without a destination or a set plan.

Even when you left, you promised to stay together forever, sacrificing your companionship in exchange for Jiangcheng's approval of your trip.

[In reality, you had a pre-existing goal, acted according to your own ideas, and recklessly marked one target location after another on the map. You said one thing and meant another, and were utterly hypocritical from the very beginning.]

Every place you go, every goal you set, even every view you see is something you've deliberately designed with your own selfish motives in mind.

There are no surprises, no free rein; it's simply that the boy is constantly being pushed around by you, accompanying you to wherever you want to go.

Jiang Cheng is right beside you, but your heart is filled with other strangers. You'd rather spend your time on others than even glance at him.

What were you thinking at that time?

Why would you do something so ridiculously outrageous?

Even as the same person, you can't understand your thoughts back then at all; it's almost like you've gone through a mental breakdown.

Your love for the boy never arose suddenly after you lost him; to cherish him only after you've lost him is utterly despicable.

This feeling was etched in my heart from the moment the boy brought you into this world, reaching out to you when you were alone in the jungle.

[If you're truly the kind of person who only started loving Jiang Cheng after he left, and if that love wasn't entirely pure and was merely a feeling of resentment at having something taken from you, then your dislike for Wilvi is understandable.]

[Then you wouldn't be here right now; you would have realized this long ago and immediately made yourself run far away.]

There's absolutely no need for any extra thoughts or actions, because if you have even a shred of morality or wisdom, you wouldn't attempt to fight against someone else's true love with such ridiculous capriciousness.

Your depravity and gradual descent into filth occurred over time; you weren't an extremely wicked villain from the very beginning.

……

138. A Birthday Banquet for Jiangcheng

Even by human moral standards, you could still be considered a good person, and be included in the ranks of the kind and pure.

[In the initial moment after losing him, if you realized that your love was impure, you would probably be so ashamed that you would run away from the boy.]

[It is precisely because this love was subjective from the very beginning—not the resentment of being taken away, nor the emptiness that arose after loss—that you dared to observe the boy's life as an observer, a voyeur.]

Back then, you truly couldn't understand any of this; you knew nothing and cared about nothing.

Perhaps because she is still naive and spoiled by Jiang Cheng, she has never experienced even a shred of the harsh realities of the world.

Human beings are inherently selfish; they intentionally favor those close to them and care more about those around them than strangers.

Because an individual's lifespan and wisdom are finite, the number of people one can encounter, witness, and remember is not infinite.

A person can probably only remember a few hundred people in their lifetime; even for a Herrscher, the number of those who leave a deep impression on them will not exceed that.

This isn't a matter of memory; what good is remembering countless people when time itself limits the limits of an individual's thinking?

Because there are only 24 hours in a day, if you choose to give more to others, you'll have to give less to those around you.

While time is a rather abstract description, it is indeed a fact that cannot be rewritten for individuals existing in the real world.

Even with excessive force from celestial bodies, the only thing that can be done is to slow down time in a certain area, and that's all.

The cruelest thing in this world is time; it's never enough, it always passes too quickly, and there's never a chance to rewrite what happened in the past.

[If it were anyone else, they would have started complaining long ago. Who can accept their partner treating them like they don't exist? It's only because you, you despicable and shameless guy, are taking advantage of Jiang Cheng that you're allowed to continue.]

[If Wilvi hadn't suddenly appeared and interrupted all of this, who knows how much longer Jiang Cheng would have been hurt by you under the guise of being his childhood friend and comrade?]

If you didn't have the chance to take that trip again, you probably wouldn't even know the truth behind your initial regrets, the very source of it all.

[It doesn't matter anymore. This isn't something you should be thinking about. Overthinking will only get you stopped by Jiang Cheng, who will reveal more of the tenderness you don't want to see or hear.]

That's all.

[And so you journey on to the last destination you were never able to reach before.]

But when you're holding the newly drawn map, tracing the paths you've walked, ready to circle that mountain range you never set foot on before, that place of regret, the boy stops your hand.

The back of my hand holding the pen was gently pressed by a deep coolness. So close to me were those deep blue eyes, still so beautiful, as if a star from that day had fallen into them, leaving behind a brilliance that belonged to the night sky. Yet, within that familiarity, there was a hidden expression that was hard to understand.

"We can put our next destination on hold for now, since we didn't get there on our last trip. Let's focus on preparing for the birthday party first."

……

Jiang Cheng would not say such a thing.

The boy wasn't someone who valued his birthday.

In fact, he doesn't even value any holidays, because the meaning of holidays lies only in the added value. If there is no birthday party, no family or lover to accompany him on his birthday, then his birthday is meaningless to him.

Jiang Cheng only cares about the meaning itself, not the additional celebration of the festival, unless the celebration can bring happiness to the lovers.

Whether it's the Spring Festival, Christmas, or any other holiday, ignore anything that doesn't bring joy and treat anything that doesn't provide emotional value as if it doesn't exist.

During her previous travels, if she hadn't always been so meticulous in preparing everything needed for the celebrations in advance, many days would probably have been wasted.

……

Isn't this normal?

Jiang Cheng once ruined his own birthday.

Now I want to have a more wonderful and happier birthday to make up for the emptiness left in my heart and the trauma I suffered.

Isn't this normal?

Instead of focusing on what kind of birthday it is, we should put the key point and the only focus on how to better and more perfectly organize a good young person's birthday party.

That's right...

That's right.

That's right!

Birthdays are the most important!

……

"Do not worry."

"I will give you a super, super romantic birthday party."

Despite the somewhat strange atmosphere, and despite the fact that this inexplicable request revealed a change from the normal Jiangcheng from beginning to end.

Alicia clenched her little fist and nodded without hesitation. Her pink eyes, as beautiful as a shooting star tearing through the clouds and burning fiercely, or a petal of a flower swaying in the air by a strong wind, shone with determination.

No matter what happens, she must make up for the mistakes she made in repeatedly ruining the boy's birthday.

"Actually, you don't need to be too harsh. My birthday party isn't a product of any exchange of benefits. All I need is blessings and happiness."

"Most so-called luxurious birthday parties are actually just products of some people's other selfish desires. You just need to design them as you like."

"But if I must ask for anything, please promise me that you will do your best no matter what, and don't let yourself have any regrets. You can think of anything, even if it seems bloated."

……

No matter what, give it your all and leave no room for regret. That's the only request this young man has for you.

Even if it looks bulky, it doesn't matter. Jiangcheng's banquets aren't products that need careful design; they're industrial waste designed on factory assembly lines to maximize profits and satisfy as many people as possible.

Yes, Jiang Cheng has had enough of overly elaborate birthday parties. Every birthday party in the past was a grand event planned by countless admirers, a level of extravagance that even noble princes couldn't match.

But so what?

But so what?!

No one offered blessings to the protagonist, no one uttered a word of praise for the birthday celebrant, and no one genuinely authorized any gift; they were simply recorded one by one on the record table.

This elaborate affair felt less like a birthday party and more like a product everyone created to please you; Jiang Cheng was the sole victim of this extravagant celebration.

Everyone was happy, everyone was joyful, everyone fulfilled their biggest wish for the birthday party, everyone was achieving their goals and pursuing what they wanted, including you at that time.

[—Except for Jiangcheng.]

[Apart from the true host of this banquet.]

For Jiang Cheng, all the birthday parties he'll ever have afterward might not compare to the birthday cake you presented him in the tent that night.

It wasn't refined or fancy; it was your first attempt at making a cake. The flavor wasn't quite right, and the decorative edges were full of flaws. Only the words carved into the pattern revealed your name.

However, that is where the true wishes are placed, where blessings are truly abundant, and that is the true meaning born from the festival of birthdays.

This is not an exchange of benefits, nor a platform for others to showcase themselves; it's simply a wish for the birthday celebrant to have safely passed another year.

That's all. Nothing more is needed.

[You don't even know why you turned the banquet into this. You had clearly prepared a banquet just for Jiang Cheng, and even the invitations had carefully crafted birthday wishes.]

[I don't know, and there's no need to investigate further. Delving into one's past thoughts would probably be the most ridiculous thing in the world.]

People constantly change as they grow; trying to understand your past only makes you feel ridiculous, and you might even want to kill your former self.

You have begun to put in your wholehearted efforts and will absolutely not let Jiang Cheng down, nor will you let this birthday banquet itself down.

There's no need to add any more elements of regret, forgiveness, or atonement.