Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

Neither its range nor its attack power possessed the imposing presence of a girl like Takemikazuchi from the heavens; it vanished into the shadows, its exact form obscured.

what?

The lightning disappeared... no, it was shattered.

Although it had only been less than a night since she truly embraced her power, the instinctive feelings still allowed the girl to make the most accurate judgments—the attack, originally intended to clear out the small fry and survivors, was easily crushed, and the person's aura and figure were blurred beyond recognition.

……

At least we can be sure it's not Jiangcheng...

that's true……

How could an ordinary person possibly survive such a disaster?

Even geniuses cannot withstand natural disasters.

I've already killed him...

……

……

Instinctively, I avoided this part; the tide of sorrow flowed for only a moment before being forcibly suppressed once again, as if time and space were frozen.

Everything froze at the most desperate moment, falling into darkness and falling into absolute stillness, forcibly maintaining its position.

At least in those pupils, and at least in a certain set of words on the surface, no superfluous emotions could be seen; there was only the coldness of a natural disaster machine.

With an indifferent expression, the Thunder Queen waved her hand again, and the turbulent, misty thunderclouds instantly covered the sky above. A sudden downpour, like a waterfall carrying towering waves, crashed down from the heavens, striking down any challenger who dared to violate the Queen's dignity, along with the deafening thunder in the sky.

……

There was no response, no action.

Perhaps it was because those pupils contained too many emotions.

So much so that the original insistence and self-righteous speculations became as ridiculous as wooden fences before a flood in the face of real reality.

His eyebrows drooped slightly, and confusion and sadness gathered in his pupils like the undulating colors of the tide, without him launching an attack unconsciously.

Perhaps because things had progressed too smoothly, the seemingly gentle girl also displayed an excessive gentleness and health within half a month.

Not to mention being compared to Velvi, even Alicia's level of illness is far inferior. Therefore, she subconsciously ignored the seriousness of the problem, and her body instinctively fell into drowsiness, not wanting to face those heavy, mountain-like, black hole-like weights pulling her along anymore.

Only now, only after witnessing the lightning that almost burned his pupils through the air, did the boy finally realize his problem.

Why did I forget?

Forget that every member of the main characters in the Honkai Impact 3rd world is a patient with an extremely serious mental illness.

Every single individual who has the opportunity to become a Herrscher is an anomaly unlike any other human being; they are madmen who wouldn't be too much to ask to be sent to a mental hospital.

In contrast, Kiana had no relatives other than her father, no childhood memories, and was not accepted for a long time.

Just when he was finally accepted, his father, Siegfried, disappeared again. He traveled all over Europe alone, embarking on a journey to find his family before he even reached adulthood.

Having just gained her own identity, everything was lost in an instant. Along the way, she returned to the loneliness of not being understood by her father, perhaps even more so, until she arrived in Changkong City, where Kiana finally met someone she could truly call a friend, someone who wouldn't say goodbye lightly.

In reality, all you need is a friend who won't leave, and a target to search for, or at least potentially find, your father.

As long as she doesn't encounter any major mishaps like the arrival of a queen, forcing her to hurt the people she loves with her own hands, Kiana can live like this for the rest of her life.

Just like in St. Freya, she said she was looking for her father, but in reality she was more engrossed in school life and spending time with her friends.

Kiana only needs love. Like a stray kitten, she only needs someone to care for her and she can stay in her warm little nest forever, provided that no too much rain leaks in.

Compared to those who could be relatively easily saved, the most normal Raiden Mei, the Raiden Mei who is most immersed in a happy and stable life, and the Raiden Mei who cares most about everyone around her, is the one with the biggest psychological problems.

Because both Bronya and Kiana were abnormal from birth.

The first thing they saw when they opened their eyes was abnormal: either their whole family ascended to heaven, or they were not accepted and had no memory of it.

I have never experienced a normal, happy life, so I am happy as long as I can fill my own needs, and I do not crave more than I deserve.

Living in an abnormal world, pursuing things that should be there but are abnormal only when they are lost, actually creates a sense of peace in life, because desires are too insignificant to even roll down a mountain.

Just like how a wealthy and well-educated child, when asked about a gift, might choose a real airplane—not a toy or a model—while a little girl from a poor area might only want a pair of white sneakers.

What seemed like a humble and insignificant wish was, for that impoverished girl, just as distant as white sneakers and Boeing airplanes.

These are all things we want most, things we can't get, which is why they are categorized as desires... Inconsistencies in life and experience lead to different ways of adapting.

The cruelest thing is to throw birds into the sea, toss fish and shrimp that used to swim freely onto the shore, and to leave sheep to walk in the desert.

No matter how abnormal, how inappropriate, or from a normal person's perspective, those past cruelties and despairs have indeed shaped Kiana and Bronya's lives, and all their concepts and logic up to this point.

Perhaps we cannot be exempt from the problem, and perhaps if we continue to live like this, we will eventually face a breakdown, a meltdown that the human spirit cannot bear.

Forced habits and forced adaptations make people who live in an abnormal environment more likely to accept and bear abnormal things.

But as the boy observes this abnormal world, he seems to have forgotten something important, living in the common sense of this world.

There are still people who don't know this common knowledge, and there are still people who don't know about the existence of Honkai. Even though most people have some understanding of it, there are still people in high positions who are extremely important but are forced to be blind.

Raiden Mei lived a normal life, and for the previous ten years or so, she enjoyed the attention of countless people as a rich young lady from a privileged family.

Normal, ordinary, mundane—how rare, how precious, and how utterly alien these words are to this crazy world where everyone is going mad.

Under the doting yet worried shadow of her father, Raiden Ryoma, she lived a life like an ordinary person, unaware of the truth behind the world, until one day the edifice collapsed.

It was an instantaneous collapse, without any warning, and unlike a sudden storm or thunderstorm, there was no weather forecast.

To lose everything, to lose all of oneself, whether it be family, home, the spotlight, or a life of luxury.

From normal to abnormal, she lost her father, was criticized and scorned by outsiders, bullied at school, and hated by the city where she had lived all her life. In Cocolia's writing, she was reduced to a medieval witch-like existence, and it would not be surprising if she were tied to a cross and burned to death one day.

No one can accept a drop in altitude, especially such a large one, just as people living on the plains will immediately lose consciousness due to lack of oxygen once they go up to the plateau.

Perhaps those who have been born on the plateau can barely manage, even though it also causes harm, shortens their lifespan, and makes them flushed, but ultimately they can still live there because of their habits.

Normal people can't do it; coma is common, and even death is normal. No one can escape this unless that person is not human.

Raiden Mei is clearly a human, even the most ordinary, common human who doesn't even know about the Honkai. She only gradually becomes dehumanized later on.

Therefore, the girl faced this greatest despair, which should never have happened and was the result of countless hardships, with the purest human attitude.

The family's decline was already a huge blow, and being disliked and bullied by others was at most limited to one school. However, Raiden Mei experienced a thriving family business that no longer belonged to her, and the bullying she encountered was never limited to a certain area, but rather everything that could be seen by her.

The sudden drop in her life, and everything that followed, dealt an indelible blow to the girl. She seemed somewhat normal, but in reality, she was only holding on because of her gentle nature; she just didn't want to express some of her inner thoughts.

Or rather than being unwilling to express their gentleness, it's more accurate to say they're afraid of being disliked or disgusted by others if they do.

People who live in unstable environments for a long time are completely oblivious to the atmosphere; all they know how to do is keep quiet at all times.

It's not that they can't perceive changes in the atmosphere or the sudden shifts in emotions; it's simply that they've experienced too much and have lost the ability to distinguish between good and bad.

If I remember correctly, even this kind demeanor is actually a stress response caused by being hurt too badly.

In reality, Raiden Mei isn't a bad person, but she's never been a saint either. She's even capable of hurting others for the sake of her loved ones, even if those people are also trying to save their loved ones—just like the Herrscher of Ice.

Perhaps the feelings between the two people are not simply love; perhaps they are mixed with too much impurity, incomplete redemption, and solitary guilt.

Regardless of the truth, at least on the surface, the two of them were saving each other, just like Kiana and Mei back then.

Saving a Herrscher with one's own love is undoubtedly something that even Bronya, who seems the most aloof among the trio, would choose to help with.

Erasing one's former self, erasing others' desire to make the world a better place, and even more so, erasing what is at least superficially love—perhaps only Bronya during her mercenary days could do that.

Even under these circumstances, Raiden Mei, though somewhat hesitant, ultimately chose to kill, her hand never faltering as she wielded her sword.

He relentlessly pursued Chen Tianwu and attacked Anna whenever they met. No matter how much he hesitated or how much he hallucinated his past self, he never slowed down.

This is based on the ambiguity and similarity formed by the other person being the most important person to her and the things she has always insisted on. If it were a different event, the girl would not even have a trace of confusion when she wields the knife.

Even innocent ordinary people, if their paths overlap with the girl's, would likely not hesitate to take action to achieve their goals.

Just like now, just like the lightning that now descends from the sky, winding its way to the ends of the earth, and the punishment that falls from the fingertips.

……

223. Kiana: What on earth happened?

The dark purple dragon and snake meandered and twisted in the black curtain that covered the sky and the earth. The world was dark, and even the power that should have been extremely safe, which was interwoven with scarlet, black and purple, appeared dazzling due to the few lights.

As small as dust, even from the sky, one cannot find its exact location, yet the city of Jiangcheng, shrouded in smoke and dust, still stands here.

It stood firm despite the fierce winds and torrential rain, fearlessly looking up at the power that was sweeping in once again, a power that could be called divine punishment.

The dim, pitch-black light seemed even more profound than the sky that obscured the world, devouring everything in this world like a black hole.

No matter how many blows were dealt, they could not bridge this mere inch of distance. Jiang Cheng had not even adopted a fighting stance from beginning to end.

With a casual wave of his hand, he blocked the incoming lightning. Too lazy to use the simple method of waving the light, he directly and neatly created a domain barrier, clearing away all the lightning around him in an instant.

Such a simple and efficient action is to know the enemy's attack methods in advance and, logically, nip all their power in the bud.

Although he has never used much of his power in combat, he was a primordial Herrscher who had lived in the world for decades and was nearing his limit.

Or rather, almost every Herrscher has never fought. They all face human encirclement and suppression from the moment they are born, while also wielding their authority to fight against civilization. Even among so-called Herrschers who are made from humans, there are almost no professionals who become Herrschers, and those who do are subject to interference with their memories and emotions.

Because for a super-specific life form called a Herrscher, there is no need to know how to control one's power at a deeper level; all that is needed is to accumulate energy levels and create a large number of Honkai Beasts to trigger the Great Honkai.

In this respect, at least for now, few can compare with Jiangcheng.

Even from the perspective of the Lawyer, the individual named Jiang Cheng is now in a miserable state, half-dead, having experienced the most terrifying, desperate, and humiliating thing in the world—his core has been dug out and made into a weapon, which is equivalent to dissecting and digging out all the organs in an ordinary person's body.

Despite the interference of the Divine Key and the Soul Steel, driving its own 'heart' with countless cycles of diminishing efficiency, it was still beyond the reach of a half-finished product.

……

Knowing good and evil, and also knowing what one should do, one has no grand ideals, and like an ordinary person, only wants a peaceful life.

They are neither particularly kind nor particularly evil, but rather stuck in the middle, just like countless normal people who struggle with their own sense of good and evil and morality.

The girl named Raiden Mei is so normal that she would go crazy if anything happened to her or to an ordinary person.

This cannot be explained using any rationale or probability, because any so-called rhetoric will appear extremely pale when faced with truly bloody reality, like a fool talking without understanding the pain.

Even those who never had it in the first place cannot understand this feeling, because the terror of losing something after having it is even greater than never having had it at all.