Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

There was no real intention to make Raiden Mei sad or to crush her last lifeline.

It was merely to dissuade them, and to inform more people, from a third-person perspective, of part of the truth, so that they wouldn't unknowingly fall into a deep pit.

If there is an opportunity later, the Thunder Queen will apologize to Jiang Cheng for what she did. She will not stand on the moral high ground just because she is in the right. One thing at a time. No matter how many lies she tells, at least she did the right thing by choosing to stay with him. At least his feelings were not fake, right?

Until she witnessed it all herself, until the truth revealed was so cruel that even the Queen of Thunder herself could not accept it and had never imagined it.

Perhaps this relationship was devoid of any feelings, love, or care from the very beginning.

It's just a story about a conman and a fool.

……

The Thunder Queen could only take deep breaths to suppress her anger, grit her teeth, and pinch her nose to accept it. No matter how dissatisfied she was, she could only endure it.

Because it is the only source that can be found.

It's less about the boy and more about himself.

Jiang Cheng was merely somewhat incompetent and squandered other people's good intentions. Even if he couldn't change anything, he could at least buy some time and create a false impression that everything was getting better.

Deceiving others is merely a moral issue; Jiang Cheng's penchant for playing pranks on others doesn't warrant death, or at least won't cause immediate trouble.

The one who truly caused this outcome to happen so quickly was the one who actually lifted the curtain and revealed the real truth.

what……

what……

How ridiculous!

Mei herself...

Even now, I still have to rely on this person who doesn't care about me.

"Although I really want to yell at you, the reason things have come to this is actually because I started it. Otherwise, things wouldn't have developed to this point... You probably won't understand what I'm saying, so let me tell you what happened last night."

……

It tells the story of a young girl.

There's not much to say, and it's not exciting at all. It doesn't even qualify as a story, because a story should have ups and downs, not just a simple downward spiral.

Losing his father, losing his friends, losing hope.

Betrayed by friends who seemed to surround her, punished by her originally kind teacher, and disliked by ordinary strangers she had never even met... it was as if even a little bird on the roadside disliked the girl.

From beginning to end, it was just a continuous descent, descent.

I have never received anything, nor have I ever owned anything.

It's just a story of constant loss.

Raiden Mei's fall from grace actually consists of two parts.

Not only did she witness the truth and realize how ridiculous she was, but her love, like that of a clown, was trampled on by Jiang Cheng, and the gift she thought would increase his favor by sacrificing her dignity was left empty on the table.

In fact, all of this can still be saved because the root cause is a lack of love. If love can be replenished, and if it can be proven that there is still a chance for a turnaround, then all that is needed is to deal with an extremely heavy emotional burden on the woman.

What truly made everything irreversible was the massive collapse that occurred when things spiraled out of control, leaving Raiden Mei alone to face the ruins of the city.

Subconsciously, she believed that Jiang Cheng was dead, that she had killed the person she loved, and that there was absolutely no turning back.

That's why they fall into utter despair, with almost no chance of recovery.

Raiden Mei's spirit is very resilient. No matter how fragile she may seem, she only began to fall and erode after enduring a long period of blows from everyone she knew in the entire city.

Perhaps in the process, one's own personality has been forcibly modified, and all the drive to move forward has turned into timidity and hesitation.

At least the person named Raiden Mei is still alive and exists, and apart from her extremely severe mental illness, everything seems normal.

But no matter how steadfast a person is, they must have a pillar. Those who can withstand any torment and interrogation like steel are simply people with faith in their hearts, or people whose anger is fueled by hatred.

If even the last pillar in one's heart is gone, if hope is given and then taken away, then no one can hold on any longer.

Today, the Queen of Thunder can only cling to the last bit of Raiden Mei's clothes, like a lifeguard who arrives late at the edge of a cliff, grasping only that insignificant piece of clothing. The fallen woman herself has even lost hope and all her strength.

……

228. It's all miHoYo's fault.

'Mei was restless from the very beginning. She lost her mother at a very young age, and her father's love never seemed to reach her. Perhaps it was there, perhaps it existed, but it was incredibly hard to find. Just to get more attention, Mei began to force herself to become outstanding.'

'She's always lacked a sense of security. Perhaps even Mei herself has forgotten the past buried deep in her memory: being kidnapped, forced to undergo surgery, and finding no solace in her tears.'

A masked stranger held a cold scalpel; even the lighting was cold, devoid of any warmth.

'Father isn't here, the butler isn't here, her friends aren't here—everyone Raiden Mei knows is gone, except for a tall figure whose face she can't see.'

'Anxiety, panic, sadness... only these emotions remained, these emotions accompanied the scalpel cutting into the body, the unconsciousness brought on by anesthesia, the sense of crisis about one's future... only these accompanied me as I fell asleep.'

I don't know what I'll be like when I wake up, I don't know if I'll even wake up, and I don't know how I'll be treated.

'Because those people didn't even have the will to speak, Raiden Mei could only think in endless panic, dreading the completely unknown...'

She spoke very slowly, as if she were slowly recalling something. Her voice, which should have been clear and proud like thunder, was now dominated by sorrow, searching for traces left by the lake, with a slight tremor.

Jiang Cheng listened in silence.

He knew that at this moment, he only needed to listen and did not need to express any opinions.

The girl was indeed just pouring out her heart, telling her story little by little. Her seemingly numb words slowly released her inner bitterness and sorrow in the night wind.

'Memories can be forgotten, but stress can bury them deep within our hearts...'

'But the body doesn't forget these things, nor does the soul. Because it wasn't rescued in time that day, it's forever trapped in that house.'

'Whether it's the Thunder Queen's heroic bearing, the top student in the teacher's eyes, or the excellent swordsman diligently training before the Homu Sword Saint...'

'Everything is just about pursuing oneself, being valued by others, feeling important in their eyes, and the sense of security that someone will surely save one's life.'

Despite the exhaustion, Mei endured it all willingly, until that day arrived, shattering all pretense and proving once again that no one could save her. She was still that child with nothing, still forced to fall into a deep sleep of fear when the scalpel fell.

'No one will help her, because even her father, the only person she could cling to with any hope, has been sent to prison, and even her familiar old butler—everyone she knows has chosen to betray and leave.'

'There's no difference. For a child, it feels like the whole world has abandoned them; for someone living in the city, everything they see seems to be hurting them.'

'Perhaps it was because she had prepared beforehand that Mei was able to endure the bullying for so long, and that's why she treated those who were willing to save her so well...'

'So...so...'

The Queen of Thunder seemed to have lost her voice, stubbornly lingering between those two words, over and over again... unable to utter a single word.

……

Such a morbid condition.

Such an extreme situation.

So indispensable.

This was not love at first sight or a life-saving grace, but a radiance that was long overdue and should have arrived long ago.

This feeling had been brewing in my heart for too long, and it was further amplified by the emptiness of my father's love, my longing for friends, and my prayers for salvation.

Countless unfulfilled wishes, countless different names called out in her heart, the little girl who was taken away for experiments, looking towards the door countless times with anticipation—it didn't even need to be possible, it only required willingness, and the person who walked in through the door naturally carried a radiance.

At this point, every sleep session would probably be a painful experience, because falling asleep would be equivalent to being injected with an anesthetic and falling into an unstoppable coma.

Complex and extreme, because extreme emotions are born from extremes in everything.

Isn't it normal not to want to lose something you've been searching for so long to get?

Just like the relationship between doctors and patients.

During the healing process, although there are also individuals in a state of confusion and distortion, what one sees is mostly gratitude and thanks. However, once certain specific diseases are determined to be incurable, the conflict will escalate completely...

Those infected individuals will all begin to become twisted, insane, and hysterical. They will use all sorts of means to beg or even threaten doctors to save them, because the final declaration given by the doctors means that they will once again return to the pain of their previous illness, a life worse than death.

The girl was very well-behaved, a truly outstanding student in both character and academics, which ironically made her symptoms more difficult to combat than any mental illness.

Because people who can't cry out and people who can cry out essentially suffer the same things, and the pain they have to endure without a doctor is the same.

The weasel, who doesn't seem like a very obedient villain, will at least show his anger and pain when trying to keep the doctor around. Perhaps there is a slight chance that he can get treatment, just like the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Emotions need to be released in a healthy way. People who don't suffer from internal conflict are often those who seem to have a bad or malicious personality and like to bully others.

Transferring one's dissatisfaction onto others; if one is angry, then making others even angrier; comforting oneself by humiliating the world.

This is the law of how everything works: often only bad people can live better lives, and only those who abandon conscience and gentleness can live more comfortably.

Raiden Mei endured everything, because the accusations leveled against her by others seemed barely acceptable, so she was able to forcefully suppress her desire to resist—in reality, she was also terrified of the fact that no matter how she reached out, she could not find any help, and all she could see in the world was the ugly face of others.

Because they could find no hope, did not believe they could resist, and could not find any reason to justify their resistance, they chose to tolerate it.

If the girl were a bad person, she would vent her anger, rebel, and hurt others without any reason, even if it meant dying, and would kill indiscriminately, attacking everyone. In that case, she would actually be living a better life than she is now.

Because no matter what, Raiden Mei will not die. Before becoming a Herrscher, the city under Cocolia's rule had unlimited tolerance for her.

Harming others violates the law and will be punished.

But so what?

Every minute and every second we live in this city, isn't it just about being attacked without cause, being persecuted and insulted at any time and place, and enduring punishments that are even more terrifying than any other blow?

At this point, why fear the punishment that will follow after venting your emotions?

They're all the same anyway, there's no difference.

……

"Even after all that, Mei didn't have to end up like this. It's my fault. I was the one who caused this mess, bringing her to your house because I sensed your presence leaving the Changkong Room."

'I watched you and Mei's interactions closely, listening to every lie you told. I saw it all clearly, every time she chose to deceive herself and ignore your moments of distraction and disdain.'

'You've been intentionally avoiding something, worrying about something, and thinking about something more important than Raiden Mei herself.'

'I don't trust you, that's why I wanted Mei to know your true colors, and that's why... that's why this situation has arisen.'

'Your actions have been discovered. Your perfunctory attitude towards Mei's feelings is so blatant that you can no longer deceive yourself; it's laid bare before her.'

'Because...because...'