Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

44. Alicia: Do I... still have the right?

The girl really wanted to give a different answer.

—It's meaningless.

No matter how much deception you try, you can't change reality. In fact, by refusing to face your mistakes, you'll only repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

--No.

She's always busy.

Because he wanted to find paradise, the perfect paradise in fairy tales, and because he felt that it was coming, he spent his days communicating with one person after another, changing other people's tragedies and rewriting other people's fates.

It seemed as if all it took was a few words exchanged with the boy.

It seemed as if all that was needed was to maintain a normal interaction with the boy.

A perfect and gentle attitude is enough.

what……

Yes.

All you need to do is smile.

As a perfect girl, all she had to do was sit there and greet the boy with a lexicon that was probably the same as that of a stranger on the street.

How could Jiangcheng not feel disappointed and dejected?

This is blatant disregard.

Punishments that are more cruel, more shameless, more subtle, and even make it difficult for victims to speak out than physical harm.

Especially when the girl sees the record of the boy witnessing his own birthday party, which didn't even have a basic beginnings and degenerated into a holiday, it's a sad sight.

Very elegant, very relaxed, it's a wonderful holiday—if it weren't for his birthday.

If no one cares about a person's birthday.

At most, I'd feel sad.

There are so many people in the world, not everyone deserves to be remembered. Even if someone celebrates their own birthday, it's just a matter of loneliness.

Unfortunately, the boy's birthday was not without anyone in attendance.

The place was packed with people, all of whom were celebrities and aristocrats. Only a select few at the very top of the pyramid could receive such treatment. But no one cared about the boy, and no one cared about the host of the birthday party.

Perhaps for them, this wasn't a birthday celebration at all, but rather a party where they could legitimately see a certain girl.

That's it.

That’s all…

That's all.

It is this feeling of being completely out of place in a noisy and grand atmosphere, with no one caring about you, even though you are the one in charge, that brings your already somewhat lonely and sad feelings to a peak, a kind of pathetic state.

True loneliness is feeling alone on a bustling, crowded street.

It turned out that it happened unintentionally...

—Have I already become a perpetrator wielding a butcher's knife?

In the name of blessing, they deprive young people of the beauty that belongs to them.

Even birthdays, which are extremely private and meant only for close friends and family, are no exception.

The girl reached out her finger to touch the boy in the picture whose eyes were lifeless and lacked any luster, but her slender fingers just couldn't muster the strength, as if something was preventing her from going forward.

Perhaps it's because they clearly realize they're no longer qualified.

They are no longer worthy to touch the boy.

Even if it's just a photo.

Even if it's just a snapshot from the past.

It wasn't until I watched the recorded video sway as it approached the boy that I saw a hand suddenly enter my line of sight and pull the disheveled boy up.

It was the maker of this video recorder, Vilvi, who personally delivered the gift to Jiang Cheng.

The only birthday gift I gave you personally.

The only gift given on this boy's birthday.

The video camera didn't record what followed, but it did see the boy's previously expressionless eyes suddenly regain some expression, a more genuine look than the girl had ever seen.

Excitement, happiness, or simply the feeling of being warmed—that emotion that arises spontaneously.

This is not weakness, it is just the normal functioning of emotions. But no matter how normal the functioning is, if it goes too far, it will inevitably cause disaster.

The reason why I always felt normal was that someone had already pressed the button on disaster.

Alicia never cared about any of that.

Her bright blue eyes never lowered; she was anxious and persistent about what was happening around her, as if she were being urged on, chased by a wild beast, with no room to breathe.

……

……

……

In this world...

What other reasons can be used to explain one's behavior?

He explained the mistakes he made, the knife he picked up, and the harm he inflicted on the teenager.

—To save the world?

To save the world—this might be a good excuse—to rewrite more tragedies, to save more people who shouldn't suffer, so it's necessary to give up some small things in front of you.

Can that really be used as a reason?

Can this really cover up their disregard for Jiangcheng?

I really don't want to make myself look even more shameless and despicable after speaking out, or to whitewash my behavior, which is undoubtedly disgusting.

How can it be?

How can it be!

How could this be?!

No matter how high-sounding the reason, no one has the right to deny the mistakes they have made.

The idea that you have to abandon the people around you to save the world is just a saying; how can you treat it as the truth?

If you can't even save what's in front of you, if you can't even grasp what you need to hold onto, no matter how wide or far your perspective is, you're essentially just a cold machine, a creature that's not human at all.

At least for Alicia, for this goddess of stars and moon, for this girl who longed for a better future, for this fairy of paradise…

—Absolutely not!

Absolutely unacceptable!!

The act of hurting others and not apologizing, making amends, or atoneing, while using so-called justice to cover it up, is undoubtedly the most despicable behavior. Perhaps some people are unable to do so due to some uncontrollable circumstances.

But if there's no apology, then there's no need or meaning in discussing it.

The only problem is...

Do I really deserve it now?

……

Silent.

The girl had no way to refute it.

Unable to fight against one's own inner self.

She wandered aimlessly, not even knowing where she was going.

It's as if what's lost is less a concrete person or specific pain, whose cause and source can be felt, and more something that has become a concept, a feeling that has become abstract over a long period of companionship.

The boy's existence seemed as commonplace as the moon hanging in the night sky or the sun shining during the day.

That is indispensable; it would be hard to accept even losing a single day or moment of it...

Just like Jiangcheng.

The boy never left my memory, not even for a day.

In the season when the spring snow first melts, it is also the season when all the flowers bloom. The boy would always go with his companion to pick the most beautiful flower from the flower bushes and keep it... It is a season of warm sunshine, a season of falling leaves, a season of silver-clad landscapes.

Up until now.

It's a feeling that's hard to describe, even with complex words.

Sadness, depression, and pain... combine to create a feeling of loss.

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

Incredible design.jpg

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

45. Lovely, feel this regret.

Alicia stumbled into the hall, where pink light shone on her pale face. The once-perfect girl was now disheartened and looked as wretched as a beggar.

Even her gorgeous clothes couldn't hide the oppressive feeling that seemed to come from something missing.

The once-luxurious place, like a paradise, was now quiet and deserted after all the guests had left. The girl's blue eyes were devoid of any light as she stared unconsciously at the stage at the very top.

—The place where one always stays, used to host banquets and maintain order.

If only I could have pulled Jiang Cheng onto the stage at his first birthday party and made him declare to everyone that it was his birthday party.