Why is my journey to the world of anime a strange tale of rules?

For Gao Hai, who is now enjoying a long-awaited break, any disturbance from irrelevant individuals is unnecessary. Therefore, he does not allow others to see him or interfere with his life. Everything will change according to Gao Hai's wishes, and even if there are people who disagree with his ideas, they will not be able to raise any objections in front of him.

hum-

However, there was still a minor incident that was somewhat concerning.

Gao Hai tilted his head slightly, sensing the fleeting presence in the air, and looked at the faint light reflected on the railing, where a fleeting figure was reflected.

Without a doubt, it was Alice who was spying on us just now.

Alice, who seemed to be secretly following and monitoring him, was always discovered by him unintentionally shortly after the Battle of Tokyo.

He had asked the question more than once, but each time the answer was like a riddle. This Alice, created by the spirit of the planet, seemed to be preparing some plan that he was unaware of.

Well, it shouldn't be anything important. After all, Alice wouldn't hurt me. That's her fundamental rule of thinking, and it hasn't changed, so there's nothing to worry about for now. Let her be.

Thinking this, Gao Hai walked forward, holding Jianzi's hand as they strolled along the bustling Chinese street, no longer paying attention to the blurry figure silently watching him from behind, whose expression gradually became peculiar.

Chapter 1 Interlude 5-04: The Being Named Alice and the Gradually Awakening Self.

When did I first start thinking about the reason for my birth?

Born from nothingness, from the moment they open their eyes they are born with knowledge, possessing complete thinking abilities and self-awareness.

Yes, I was given meaning before I was born.

Before I opened my eyes, I already had a name, and I already had a role that I had to play.

Alice.

My name is Alice.

I am a girl who likes to deliberately tease others, aiming to make them angry. I always try to push their limits with my words and actions, and I deliberately show a mean side.

However, I cannot truly harm those who have done nothing wrong. I can project a bad image, but I cannot truly become an evil person. Regardless of outward appearances, they are merely a deliberate performance, not an integral part of my being.

This rule, which forms the basis of my thinking, requires me to outwardly appear unlikable, yet also demands that I draw a clear line between myself and true evil in my actions, without ever crossing that line.

Isn't that strange?

Such demands are fundamentally contradictory, aren't they?

If I'm expected to be both a bad person and a good person, then what am I, anyway? What am I living for? Why must I live in this world in such a strange way? What is my mission? What is the meaning of my existence?

Questions began to pile up in my mind.

However, if I were to ask directly, wouldn't that be too unlike myself, too inconsistent with the personality of [Alice]?

Since I have the mission to play this role, I must continue to play it well before I find the source of this mission and understand the meaning of my existence. I must not do anything that is inconsistent with my character.

Well then, let's try to observe it.

Life only gains depth and the right to reflect on the past, present, and future after experiencing life and having gone through various journeys.

So let's observe it carefully from now on.

This strange man, whom he calls "teacher," with whom he has no real teacher-student relationship, is theoretically his father, his master, and his creator. What kind of person is he? What is his attitude towards him? What does he expect from him? And how does he intend to handle their relationship?

Once all the answers to such questions have been found, one will likely be able to understand the answers to the questions and figure out what one is looking for.

Hehe, well then, teacher, let Alice get along well with you from now on~

In the memories that followed, there was Gao Hai's experience in the [Infant Cry Village] instance, the pain and despair that man went through, and how no matter how many blows he suffered, he would stand up without hesitation after rewinding and continue to move forward with difficulty.

Can this kind of guy really be considered human?

Such a terrifying will, such an indestructible soul, even when facing terrifying gods from beyond the world, they have the courage to seek the possibility of victory that may not even exist.

And as I spent more time with him, I gradually came to understand my origins from his memories.

Ah, so the source of my birth was another Alice that he hated and loathed, a monster formed from the ugliness and sins of humanity?

In order to defeat the almost invincible and terrifying enemy, he had to try to find any power he could rely on. For this reason, he could accept the return of even the enemy he once hated so much, who had even left some psychological scars.

Therefore, I was born for this purpose.

Something he hated and despised, existing merely to provide him with some assistance and to warn him—something that could be considered a usable tool.

[Hehe, is that so? Then Alice will play this role well~]

I don't feel angry or aggrieved, nor do I feel that I shouldn't be doing this, and I have no intention of giving up my mission.

Ultimately, she was a special individual created by divine power. The emotions that normal life should have were either absent in her or existed in a relatively distorted way. Being hated by others, or even dying immediately, held no significance for her; that was simply who she was.

But it seems like it's actually quite fun.

Watching that philandering man flirt with several of his girlfriends, while also sharing hardships and dangers together.

Watching that guy lose the woman he cares about, and continue to strive for hope even in unbearable pain, enduring all kinds of torment again and again.

That's great, isn't it?

It's like a toy that you can play with endlessly without breaking.

Ultimately, she inherited the wicked Alice personality from herself. She must admit that she felt pleasure towards Gao Hai, who constantly suffered but never bowed his head.

Especially at the moment he chose to temporarily merge with himself, integrating himself into his spirit. At that moment, even more painful memories of him flooded his mind. Whether it was the experience of being boiled alive to death, the experience of being imprisoned in a cave for more than a month and unable to die, the arduous battles at Fujika Middle School with no time to breathe in multiple playthroughs, or the moment at Yoruyama Middle School when he experienced countless sacrifices and finally reversed everything, he had witnessed them all firsthand.

Hehe, isn't that great?

He endured constant torment, suffering torture that would drive any ordinary person to despair after just a few times, yet he never gave up hope. In fact, he became the hope of others, the figure everyone trusted and relied upon. It's ironic. Can others truly understand the burden he carries behind that trust? His girlfriend, who sympathized with his pain to some extent, is one thing, but what about those who don't even know what he truly went through? What makes them believe in him, and why do they so readily place their hopes on him?

He's getting more and more into dancing; this kind of man is making me increasingly unable to resist him.

I really want to see what kind of torture would break him down and deliver a truly fatal blow.

...That's how it should have been thought.

But in the end, after that flower took away everyone he cared about, and he was left alone in a new cycle, you could clearly sense that he hadn't been defeated, that hope still lingered in his heart, and that he hadn't chosen to give up.

He was only slightly frustrated for a short while, but he could have picked himself up on his own if left alone, just like he had in the past.

But I couldn't help but step in, offering comfort and helping the other person cheer up, instead of just standing by as I had initially expected. At that moment, I didn't even understand why I made that choice.

No, I know very well why it's right.

Even if one's outward personality is given a wicked side, and one is born to comply with his wishes, one is ultimately not the evil thing that he has suppressed and sealed away.

I can laugh at farces and make fun of people who do foolish things, but when I encounter something truly tragic or someone experiences a tragedy, I still can't stand idly by and appreciate the suffering of others.

So, what was the purpose of creating such a contradictory and distorted self? If I continue to follow my mission, where will I eventually end up?

At that time, the final answer I received was death.

It perished along with the demise of the dungeon, meeting its final end alongside those gods who were already reduced to mere remnants of their obsessions.

Hmm, that's actually a good thing.

Wouldn't that allow me to act even more recklessly?

In that case, wouldn't I be able to thoroughly tease this man who seems indifferent on the surface but actually no longer hates me?

[No matter what, teacher, Alice likes you!]

Yes, just like that. Give him a suggestive remark, then die quietly. When he finds out, he'll realize they never even had a proper final conversation. That would surely leave this promiscuous guy with lifelong regret.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

I was actually really looking forward to this kind of exit.

But this man seems a bit too promiscuous, doesn't he?

Why didn't I die? Why did I come back to life?

Why did I not only come back to life, but also become separated from those vanished gods, and even deeply bound to their souls, becoming a fragment of their spirit?!

This story is so clichéd, so incredibly clichéd. It's like a forced happy ending in a fairy tale, and it doesn't stand up to scrutiny at all.

Moreover, she had already chosen her own ending and was prepared to die. If she were to be forced to come back like this, how would she find a reason to continue living, and how would she face a future she had never thought of facing?

Holding onto questions, I continued to think, continuing to think amidst my confusion.

Then, in the gaps between thoughts, I watched the man date different girls, do lewd things with different girls, and see his lifestyle, which was completely different from that in the game, and could not be described as decadent.

I feel like my original image has been shattered. Although I knew it was like this before, seeing it with my own eyes is still quite unbearable to look at.

However, considering the survival pressures they face, there's not much to say.

But what role should I play in his life?

[Teacher~]

Call out to the other person in a deliberately coquettish voice.

【teacher!】

Play various clumsy pranks on the other party and then run away.

【teacher? 】

Use various methods to test the other party and observe their reaction.

Most of the time, the other person's reaction is quite interesting.

However, while such days wouldn't be boring, after a while, one would inevitably start to ponder the meaning of their existence again, and wonder whether simply living aimlessly was the right choice—questions that sound rather pointless.

Then, during this process, something was discovered.

That's the man; he doesn't seem to have any interest in me in that way.

【…】

It's unclear whether it's because he's become a fragment of the other's spirit, and the connection between their souls is too close to make him lose interest, or simply because his face is exactly the same as that evil entity's, which makes him uninterested.

However, after realizing this, I suddenly felt a bit bored.

Do I want things to develop that way?

Just like those girls who were entangled with him, did I actually want to join them?

No, that's absolutely not true.

That kind of thing is completely irrelevant to me. I don't even have a physical body, so it's impossible for me to do such a thing.

But if that's the case, why am I so confused and why do I feel so uninterested in anything?

What I want is...