Classless Reincarnation
97 FoxZone, It's the BEST!
"Hehe, get ready, you guys…."
In the distance, a bunch of students were incoming!
But the closer they got, the more worried they became. Something was wrong with their destination: all traces led to a monster-infested area!
They had even seen many monsters rushing away as if the devil were after them. This made many reconsider, as they raised unsteady voices:
"W-we should turn back. It's dangerous! We can't save anyone if we're dead, right? Let's turn around and—"
"No! You can leave, but I won't! I failed to save that baby once, but I won't fail yet again, not now!" Their icy leader declared with incredible resolve. To her, this was personal!
Yet she kept biting her lips, fearing the worse.
Whenever she saw a bloody trail or heard a monster shriek, her heart skipped a bit. Whatever awaited them in front was bound to be DEADLY!
Then they finally reached the end of the trail.
It was there, in that clearing.
"Let's go!"
She took a guarded step forward, intruding on the massacre scene. Just the heavy smell of blood alone was enough to churn her stomach, yet she kept going.
Corpses, all over, dismembered monster pieces all over.
But it got worse. Right in the middle…
She almost puked all over her Icy armor.
There was a man happily sitting on a throne of bodies. Yet, he neither looked scary nor intimidating as he whistled a happy tune peacefully. This was so goddamn WEIRD!
It went:
"La-la-la.
♫♩-♫♩-♫♩-♫♩
Looking for a delivery?
Don't entrust it to a nobody!
Proceed with your request!
FoxZone, it's the BEST!
♫♩-♫♩-♫♩-♫♩
Doesn't matter where!
Doesn't even matter when!
There's no need to despair!
Leave everything to us, friend!
♫♩-♫♩-♫♩-♫♩
Middle of a Battlefield?
So what? Delivery ASAP!
Our hearts? Made of Steel!
We won't even need a map!
♫♩-♫♩-♫♩-♫♩
Looking for a delivery?
No need to be all jittery!
Just put us to the test!
FoxZone, it's the BEST!
….
♫♩-♫♩-♫♩-♫♩
And it kept going! How many freaking verses did this thing have?! More importantly, who was this man, and what the hell was the "FoxZone" that he kept singing about?!
At this moment, every student witnessing that scene was frozen in place, shell-shocked. There were so many monster corpses, and he sounded so damn relaxed!
They weren't sure whether to laugh about it, approach curiously, or beg the being to spare them. Anyone singing in such a bloody mess had to be INSANE!
But that wasn't even all…
"G-guy's look at the corpse?!"
As they saw it, they doubted if their minds were playing tricks on them. No, the corpses freaking spelled "FoxZone!". What the fuck was this?!
Seeing their reaction, Jack couldn't help but grin. This was what he called marketing done right! With this, they'd never be able to forget the name "FoxZone!"
It was only then that the Ice Queen finally remembered her purpose.
"S-Sir, did you happen to see a man with a baby pass through?" She carefully asked, making sure not to show any disrespect.
The man finally stopped his whistling, and as his dark eyes settled on her, she felt a cold breeze on her skin. How could a gaze be so piercing?! Yet his tone sounded incredibly friendly.
"A baby? As a matter of fact, I did! We just delivered one such baby back to its home. How about it? Would you like to schedule a delivery too?" Jack playfully asked.
"D-Delivery?" Never had the Ice Queen felt so confused.
Delivery? Delivered a baby? How had he not addressed the mountain of corpses underneath him and everywhere? This was so surreal! Seeing her hesitate, Jack explained.
"Have you never heard of FoxZone, perchance? We're the best delivery company around! We deliver anything, anywhere, any time! Have you never heard the song?"
That's when he resumed signing.
"La-la-la.
♫♩-♫♩-♫♩-♫♩
Looking for a delivery?
Don't entrust it to a nobody!
Proceed with your request!
FoxZone, it's the BEST!
♫♩-♫♩-♫♩-♫♩
At this moment, the students wondered if they were in a dream. Perhaps they had succumbed to an ambush by some magical beast and were already dead?
They were so stunned that Jack managed to do yet another complete rendition of his self-made song, and already he could see the effects, the students absentmindedly going…
"So what? Delivery ASAP! We won't even need a map! …."
"Doesn't matter where! There's no need to despair!"
"Just put us to the test! FoxZone, it's the BEST!"
They were already mumbling the lyrics, the whole thing one gigantic earworm that had already had a grasp on their minds!
Then before they had even come to terms with reality, Jack was jumping down from his monster-corpse throne, heading their way.
"Now, now. Why don't I tell you more about FoxZone while we return to the Academy? Or are you guys perhaps planning to camp in the woods tonight? No? Let's go then!"
He was equal parts friendly and forceful. The choice wasn't hard between staying in a bloody clearing and returning to safety!
Besides, they were so confused at this moment that they naturally didn't resist Jack's suggestion. Thus they all turned around, the FoxZone battlefield etched in their brains.
On the way back, it was time for Jack to shine!
"Imagine a world where distance is merely a number. Imagine a world where one can send relatives or business partners anything. Imagine a world free of borders… This is FoxZone!"
His business hadn't officially started, and he was already hard selling it! At this moment, even the famous Ice Queen was nothing but a lamb in front of his sales tactics!
"D-Delivery? But what about that baby?!"
"Delivered to his home!"
"T-That's weird?!"
"Is it? How long did it take you to get that rescue party going? Simply asking FoxZone to deliver him home was way faster and less dangerous. Isn't that best for everyone? Here's…"
The more Jack spoke and the sillier the poor Ice Queen felt. While his arguments sounded weird, she really couldn't say anything against them!
But before they could even arrive at the Academy, another commotion happened. A particular student, who had been gawking for a while, finally exclaimed in shock.
"Wait, you. You're him! You're the guy that destroyed the—" He choked.
"Yes, that's me," Jack confirmed, guessing his meaning.
Sigh. While he didn't care for Fame or glory, it was fine to get himself known, if only to kick-start his new business into existence, right? Probably…
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