Contractual Marriage: We’re Meant to Be Together

217. Just Not That into Him

Translator: Bryan

The word “mother” was too lovey-dovey. He didn’t want Yan Chuyang to call her that.

He should be the only one Yan Chuyang needed in his life.

He would take care of Yan Chuyang, treat him as his lover, his relative, and he would dote on Yan Chuyang like his child.

Therefore, Yan Chuyang didn’t need any so-called motherly love. He, Wei Qing, was all Yan Chuyang needed.

“Do you know what I was thinking when I left Fang Jingshu’s house?” Yan Chuyang asked.

Wei Qing’s brow twitched momentarily. Stroking Yan Chuyang’s slender shoulders, he asked softly, “What were you thinking?”

“I was wondering if I should beg you not to chuck me out,” Yan Chuyang replied in a choked voice, and then he croaked, “See? I’m a spineless worm. You got the better of me.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes!” Yan Chuyang lifted his head to stare fiercely at Wei Qing, his eyes red. “I hate you. I’ve become a coward because of you! I’m no longer who I’m supposed to be because of my feelings for you! I cared about you so much! And yet you said you wanted me to leave as if I meant nothing to you! I lost to you! Are you happy now?!”

Smiling mirthlessly, Wei Qing swept Yan Chuyang into his embrace. “I told you I said those words only to scare you. I didn’t mean it.”

Yan Chuyang sighed, “But I can’t even bring myself to say anything to scare you. I still lost to you.”

Wei Qing hugged him tightly and, looking down at Yan Chuyang’s soft hair, pondered over it.

Which one of them was the loser exactly?

Fang Jingshu’s actions had frightened him so much that he had felt an urge to lock Yan Chuyang up and hide him somewhere safe to make sure nobody could approach him.

He had felt so panic-stricken and tried to stop Yan Chuyang from meeting Fang Jingshu.

On the surface, he had seemed to be worried that Yan Chuyang might be used, but in reality, he had just feared that Fang Jingshu would take his place in Yan Chuyang’s heart.

It had taken him such a long time to become the most important person to Yan Chuyang.

He couldn’t afford to let anybody steal that from him.

Therefore, he was frightened and anxious at all times.

He used to be very carefree, an unmarried man who had nothing to worry about, and he had no soft underbelly.

But now, Yan Chuyang became his Achilles heel.

Who was the loser exactly?

Yan Chuyang had been sulky since he had returned home, his face taut, wordless.

What happened earlier this day had come as a terrible blow to him.

Although Wei Qing had explained that those words were a joke, Yan Chuyang still found them quite hurtful.

He began to reflect on what role he was playing in his relationship with Wei Qing.

It struck him that he had been trying to find favor with Wei Qing from the very beginning, and that Wei Qing had been passively enduring his love and affection all along.

Wei Qing had never made him any promises, and neither had he ever said that he liked him.

Wei Qing had just been pampering him like a child or his little brother.

Like what Fang Jingshu had said, they looked very close to each other, but only in a brotherly way.

Maybe Wei Qing didn’t like him at all. Maybe Wei Qing had just reluctantly accepted him because he, Yan Chuyang, was persistent, and because Wei Qing had been lonely at that time.

Wei Qing had also said he was attractive, that he was as pretty as a girl, that he liked to kiss him and hug him, and that he could satisfy his desire.

Satisfy his desire?

Yan Chuyang’s heart lurched. With some difficulty, he lowered his head and heaved a long sigh.

Did Wei Qing really just see him as someone who could gratify his sexual needs?

Yan Chuyang clenched his fingers, crumpling the sofa deeply.

“What are you doing?” Wei Qing leaned over and kissed Yan Chuyang’s cheek. Frowning, he asked, “What’s happening to you? Why do you look so pale?”

Yan Chuyang shook his head. “I’m fine.”

A smile touched Wei Qing’s lips. Fondling Yan Chuyang’s brows, he said in a deep voice, “Do you want to eat first or do you want me to help you first?”

Yan Chuyang was confused. “Help me? With what?”

Wei Qing’s hand slid down.

“Ah,” Yan Chuyang gasped, catching on. He cringed in panic and, holding Wei Qing’s shoulders to keep him at bay, then said, “No… No, I don’t want that.”

Wei Qing’s face changed. He grabbed Yan Chuyang’s wrist and asked, “Why?”

Yan Chuyang averted his face and, carefully avoiding Wei Qing’s eyes, stuttered after a brief moment’s silence, “That’s… not right.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s dirty.”

Wei Qing glared at him, “Are you saying I’m dirty?”

“No!” Yan Chuyang swiveled his head anxiously. “I mean, you will find it dirty.”

Wei Qing unknitted his brows, snorted with a smile, pulled Yan Chuyang into his embrace and said, “That’s nonsense. Every bit of you is clean, beautiful, and cute. You’re anything but dirty.”

Yan Chuyang frowned and pressed his hands onto Wei Qing’s chest to hold him back. “Let go of me. I feel hot.”

“Hot?” Wei Qing glanced at the air conditioner. “How can you feel hot when the AC is set at below 20 degrees?”

“Well…” Yan Chuyang frowned. “I just feel uncomfortable.”

“Then let me see if your little buddy feels hot.” Wei Qing whispered beside his ear. “If your little buddy also feels hot, I’ll let you go.”

Yan Chuyang was bewildered for two seconds, and then his face flushed scarlet as he cottoned on to what Wei Qing meant. “You… I… I don’t want that!”

Wei Qing’s face darkened. “Why are you being like this? You don’t want me to see it?”

Yan Chuyang clenched his fists, “No! It makes me feel ashamed!”

“Ha,” Wei Qing sneered. “You didn’t say anything about shame when you stared at my thing and kissed it this morning.”

“I never wanted to do that!” Yan Chuyang straightened his neck and blurted, “You forced me into it!”

Manifest anger in his eyes, Wei Qing hissed, “So, you never wanted to get close to my little buddy?”

Yan Chuyang covered his ears with his hands, his face suffused with redness, “Why would I ever want to be anywhere close to that… thing? I am a human being. Anybody would feel embarrassed, humiliated, and insulted when forced to kiss that thing!”

“So, that’s what you think.” The look in Wei Qing’s eyes flickered and his facial expression froze as he lowered his hands. After a moment of silence, he snorted with a sneer, “I thought you were helping me, but now it turns out you think I was forcing you to do it.”

Yan Chuyang burrowed his face into a throw pillow and said thickly, “Of course you were. Any man would feel that way.”

Although he liked Wei Qing, he still felt embarrassed when doing that.

“But I don’t,” Wei Qing interrupted him, and then he enunciated, “I like to kiss you. I like to see you. I want to know what your body looks like. I want to make you feel comfortable.” Wei Qing paused and let out a long sigh. “I’ll be honest with you. I began to spy on you in the bathroom about a month after I married you.”

Yan Chuyang abruptly jerked his head up and, face flushed, flared, “Why did you do that?!”

“What do you think?” Wei Qing lifted his eyebrows. “We’re married. What’s wrong with me wanting to see what my marriage partner looks like? You need to understand you’re married to me. Your little buddy is not only yours but also mine. I have the right to see it, touch it, and kiss it!”

*Bang!

Yan Chuyang suddenly flung up his hands and pushed Wei Qing away.

Caught off guard, Wei Qing slumped onto the carpet.

At the sight of Wei Qing’s incredulous and injured face, Yan Chuyang’s heart quivered and he hurried to his feet from the sofa to support Wei Qing. “I’m sorry. It’s just you sounded so… I didn’t mean it.”

Wei Qing shook off Yan Chuyang’s hands. “I don’t need your help. Go upstairs.”

“Wei Qing.”

“Go!”

“Sorry.” Yan Chuyang stared at him for a while before turning to go upstairs.

His mind was in a whirl. He had said a lot, but he’d meant only a small part of it. Prolonging his conversation with Wei Qing would probably serve only to make things worse. It’d be best if he put an end to it right away.

Watching Yan Chuyang disappear around the corner of the stairs, Wei Qing, for the first time ever, felt a pang of frustration.

He had the almost overwhelming desire to drag Yan Chuyang down, kiss him, hug him, and rip off his pants.

He wanted to forget the so-called soft-heartedness, tolerance, affection and things like that. He wanted to bully Yan Chuyang, force himself into him and watch him cry helplessly.

He had had enough of restraining himself and repressing his desire.

Why did he have to be the one to endure all that from start to finish?

Didn’t Yan Chuyang like him? Shouldn’t he crave for him? Why was Yan Chuyang being so uninterested in him?

He had even said that he was forced to do that this morning.

He had also said that he would feel ashamed and humiliated.

Why would he feel ashamed of that? God knew how much he wanted to see Yan Chuyang’s little buddy and how much he wanted to hold it in his hands.

He had never felt it a shame to do that, because that was part of Yan Chuyang, and it was such an important and lovely part. Kissing it would only make him feel excited and happy. Why would he feel embarrassed?

In the final analysis, it was because he was not that into him.

There was no shame in that.

Yan Chuyang just didn’t like him that much.

Wei Qing let out a long sigh of relief and lowered his eyes dejectedly, feeling terribly frustrated.

In the morning.

It was almost 8 o’clock.

Wei Qing finished his breakfast and sat on the sofa to watch the news.

Yan Chuyang had overslept, so he was still eating at the dining table.

Yan Chuyang glanced at his wristwatch and, having realized that he was going to be late for school, hurriedly picked up the milk, gulped it down and carelessly wiped his mouth on a tissue. Then he stood up, grabbed his bag from the table, trotted up to Wei Qing, pecked his lips and said, “Good morning. I gotta go, or I’ll be late for class.”

With that, Yan Chuyang hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and ran towards the door.

Wei Qing sighed. Before he could savor the kiss, he turned around and said, “Be careful. It’s scorching hot out there. Remember to wear your hat!”

Yan Chuyang, leaning against the door frame, was changing his shoes in haste. He nodded repeatedly. “I know!” Then he opened the door and ran out.

Wei Qing shook his head and put down the newspaper in his hand. Just as he was about to enter his study, he suddenly glimpsed a bank card by the side of the door.

It was the key card to Yan Chuyang’s school. Yan Chuyang wouldn’t be able to gain entry into the school library without it.

The man clicked his tongue, picked up the card, and hurried towards the door.

Before he could open the door, Yan Chuyang rushed in from outside, panting. “The card. I forgot the key card.”

Wei Qing handed him the card. “Be more careful, will you?”

“Ah!” Yan Chuyang took the card and breathed a sigh of relief. “I was scared to death. I thought I lost it when running.”

“Can you not be so careless? You’re an adult. I don’t know why you’re always so impatient…”

Wei Qing stiffened.

Yan Chuyang lowered his head and kissed Wei Qing again. He cupped his hands and said, “Thank you. I gotta go.”

After he finished, he went out again.

Wei Qing closed his eyes and even licked the corners of his lips.

Very good. Yan Chuyang still had milk lingering on his lips.

After feeling it for a while, Wei Qing turned around and walked to the living room. After taking two steps, he stopped dead in his tracks and sighed resignedly.

How much longer did he have to take care of Yan Chuyang like his son?

Or, how much longer would he have to repress his desire?

If Yan Chuyang didn’t graduate, would he always have to live with him like a loving father and a demanding brother?

He was wondering this when the door bell rang again.

Wei Qing turned around resignedly, walked to the door and opened it. “What else did you forget… Song Huaiqi?”

Song Huaiqi smiled a gentlemanly smile and held out his hand to Wei Qing. “Good morning, Mr. Wei.”

Wei Qing sneered and said with his arms folded over his chest, “Mr. Song, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

Song Huaiqi lowered his hand awkwardly and smiled, “I bought a few books for Chuyang when I was in Japan. I thought he hadn’t gone to school yet, so I come here to give them to him.”