Ch.20 Self-destruction

I became more and more afraid of nightfall, because I wasn’t sure if “he” would come. And of course, also that stinky drunkard — Huo Xiaojin!

Opening the door to my room, I carefully examined the room for anyone else. Just when I was about to close the door, someone pushed me aside onto the wall. It hurt. I heard the door being locked and I shouted nervously, “Let me go!”

“Let you go?”

It was Huo Xiaojin’s voice. His body pinned me on the wall, and even though I struggled for a long time and screamed till my face was red, it was no use.

“Why do you keep coming into my room! Let me go, do you hear?” His body was hot; I don’t know if that’s because he was drinking. But his breath besides my ear still smelt like sandalwood.

“Didn’t you want to stay in the Huo family!” The smell of wine floated in my nose, making me extremely uncomfortable. But his voice had a faint sadness in it, and I frowned slightly.

His body suddenly became light, and before I could register what had happened, he fell the ground. He was breathing heavily, a very nasal sound, and moaning softly.

“What happened?” I turned around and poked him with my foot. No response. His expression was that of in pain. I don’t know what happened to him, so I pulled open the door, wanting to get Matron Wang to take him away. But the house was very quiet. Stepmom had left in the afternoon, saying there was a banquet.

I walked around the house for a long time. There wasn’t a single person!

What should I do? Let that drunkard sleep in my room? What would Stepmom think if she comes back? My thoughts were a mess. Why couldn’t I find anyone in such a time!

“You look worried, huh?” The familiar voice sounded, still cold. Although I was startled, but compared to before, I wasn’t that afraid. Maybe I have gotten used to it.

He stood under the clock, his chin slightly raised. His tall frame was made perfect by the moonlight, but it’s a pity that there was only empty space beneath his feet.

I didn’t want to talk to him and turned around, preparing to leave. But his voice sounded once again, “Do you know your predicament now? From my point of view, you’re just hiding from reality.”

“What’s wrong with your family? Can’t you see these things have nothing to do with me? Why do you keep pushing me to the crest of

the wave on everything? I only want a normal life, so why can’t I!”

All the unhappiness, disappointment, and longing burst out of my heart and I screamed furiously, furiously! I glared at him angrily; all these started because of him! Tears fell out of my eyes. Why can’t I? Why only I can’t have a normal life?

He suddenly started laughing. His voice mixed with the pale light of the moon, seeming old and tired.

“True! Why is it only you?”

I didn’t understand what he meant. We looked at each other until he started speaking again, “What? Jumping down even if you know it’s a cliff? Not turning around even if you know you will be dead?”

I didn’t understand anything he said. But since I already started talking, I decided to clarify everything at once.

“Why are you so obsessed with me? Aren’t you a ghost? You can make those you hate take the blame easily, or kill them, or scare them to death, whatever. But why me?”

He turned around and looked at me. Only after a long pause did he reply, “If I just killed her right now, what would be the point?” Cold, icy cold, especially when he said this sentence, the emotion in his eyes made me shiver.