If Love Was Predestined

Am I an atheist? I don't believe in ghosts or gods. Before, I didn't believe in fate, causality and circulation.

But now I believe it a little bit.

If there is reincarnation in this world, I think I must have been a heinous bastard in my last life, killing countless people and touching countless blood on my hands. That's why God punished me so much in my life.

I don't deserve a lot of things.

It is that scene that appears repeatedly in my mind. Xu Ruqing is sitting on Liang Bocheng's thigh, and they kiss each other affectionately. The more they think about it, the more miserable they feel. However, they can't control themselves.

I think, perhaps when I came to imagine Liang Bocheng, he may not be what I thought.

He is cruel, playful and heartless.

And all the expectations are just what I thought.

I sat on the ground holding myself for a long time. I cried until I stopped sobbing. I didn't know why other people said that tears would drain away.

I really can't cry, I can't cry anymore. When the tears flow to a certain degree, they can no longer cry out, even if the heart is still strong enough to devour people.

After a long time, I stood up to wipe my tears.

After patting the soil on my body, I slowly walked down the stairs and walked two floors before I took the elevator and went down.

Sister Li waited for me for a long time. It seemed that she was worried. She walked restlessly on the sofa in the hall. Seeing me coming down, she immediately ran to help me and said with a sigh of relief, "thank God, Miss Lin, you can come down, which makes me worried enough..."

Her words stopped when she saw my face. She said, "Miss, what's the matter? Why are you crying? This eye is swollen... "

I laughed at her, shook my head and said, "I'm ok. Let's go back."

She hesitated for a long time, but she did not say anything. She's from Liang Bocheng. I don't want to explain anything, so I just walk out.

It is still the way to come, that full of expectation, I can't wait for a moment, just like passing by in front of my eyes, the twinkling of an eye has become such an unbearable situation.

When I stopped a taxi, I suddenly changed my mind.

I pushed Sister Li into the car. I closed the door, reported the address of the apartment to the driver, and then looked at her and said, "Sister Li, I suddenly want to go to my mother's place to have a look. It's not good for you to follow me all the time. You go back first, and I'll go back in the evening. "

Sister Li reached out to open the door and seemed to be coming down. I said, "master, drive."

Looking at the car like an arrow leaving the string, Sister Li's anxious face gradually disappeared from the window. I laughed and turned in the opposite direction.

In fact, I don't know where to go, but I don't want to go back. At this time, I don't want to go back to that apartment and give myself the illusion that Liang Bocheng belongs to me.

Walking along the road, I don't know how long I went. I saw a small book house. The plaque outside was very small, but it was made of wood. It was written in red. The words of Tianhe library were also written in the flying dragon and Phoenix. It was very beautiful.

That piece of wood, I think, should be a valuable high-grade wood. Unfortunately, I don't understand this. I can only see that it is a piece of wood.

When I saw such a small, simple book room without any decoration in the downtown, I suddenly felt the same emotion in my heart, as if it was an unacceptable soul from the countryside, and suddenly had a home.

I went in.

The outside of the library is simple, and the interior decoration is more simple. The ceiling and floor, even the windows, walls and bookshelves are all made of irregular wood. Walking in, it seems that you have entered a tree hole, which gives people the illusion that there is a very thick and thick tree in the middle of the city, and then someone dug a hole in the tree, which was filled with rows of books.

That's how it feels.

I don't know if it is surrounded by trees, which makes people feel more secure. The whole person seems to be back in the arms of her mother when she was a child.

The heart is particularly stable.

I turned around inside, did not see the counter and the owner, I casually pulled out a book, looked for a corner, squatted down to open the book, began to look.

I love reading and writing. When I was in school, my composition was the best. Every time I finished the exam, my composition would be copied by the Chinese teacher and sent to the whole grade group as an example. But at that time, my family was poor, and my only book was the adventures of Tom Sawyer. I read it over and over many times, and almost broke it. Later, my father got drunk and tore it to pieces. I never owned a book again.

I picked up this book, called "moon child Du he", the author is Qingshan, is a prose.

I don't know the author. In my ten years of book culture, I haven't heard of this person. What I have learned is Lu Xun and Lao She.However, there is a sentence from this author that I can't forget deeply. Even in a long time later, I remember it very clearly. This is the feeling that Lao She Lu Xun and others have never given me.

"Those sentimental stages are over," she said. There is no longer a broken heart and death. Sometimes they will fall into the emotional trap, but the thinking is still as cold and direct as the blade. There is no excess juice, only the sound of self cutting. It may be a sign of withered wood, but the appearance of the world is therefore simple and clear. There is no room for lyricism, only a wait-and-see view. Look at the world and look at yourself. "

I felt as if I had found the sustenance of my soul, and I was glad that I was not the only one who fell into a kind of uneasiness and innocence in the world. I quickly looked in, and when I looked up again, I did not know when the dim lights had been lit in the study room, and the lights outside were shining in from the windows, creating a kind of illusory feeling.

Not far away from me, a man was sitting on the ground, his long legs bent up, his arms on his knees, his chin resting, smiling at me for a long time.

He wore a simple white T-shirt and jeans, a pair of white shoes on his feet, a baseball cap on his head, delicate facial features, and warm spring breeze in his dark eyes.

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