If we were not married

In the evening, I went back to my temporary rented simple apartment alone.

In fact, since I divorced Qi Jia, I moved alone to this home in the suburb of Mo City, which is narrow enough to accommodate only one single bed.

I was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling above my head, but I couldn't sleep.

I heard the ticking of the wall clock, but my heart was in despair. Or, at dawn, my fate with the city will end.

I have just passed the examination of this international enterprise, but I don't have great expectations for its report, just like a life-saving straw caught in the vast sea.

Although this admission opportunity will make me have expectations, after all, there is a feeling in my heart that I can't reach it and I don't have enough help.

Vaguely, I had a dream. In my dream, I am still full of fatigue.

I dreamed of my dead child, the only child Qi Jia and I had in common.

He was covered in blood and naked, while the rest of his body was soaked in the washbasin.

I came forward and tried to reach out to save him, but suddenly I disappeared from him.

In my dream, I was frightened and helpless.

Although I tried my best to find him around, I still got nothing.

When the child appeared in front of me again, it would be a dead baby with missing limbs.

A "Mom, help me", the child in the dream is crying at me. When I suddenly woke up from my dream, it tore all the dead silence in the air in my ears, and it also deeply cried and broke my heart.

I sighed: my child, it's not my mother who doesn't want you; However, there are always some helpless things in the world. I just hope you in heaven can walk well all the way.

Although I tried to explain, it hurt my son, but it hurt my mother.

I regret that it was my own weakness that failed to keep him, because I didn't insist and I was in a coma at an untimely time, which made the child dead before he was born.

Or at the beginning, I should choose to leave Qijia without hesitation, so that the child may still be saved. But because I couldn't bear it and couldn't believe it, I let this poor and innocent life be buried because of me.

I touched my stomach as if where the child was, but if I left at the beginning, where should I go as an only child with my child?

Where can we accommodate our poor orphans and widows? However, these assumptions no longer exist. Qi Jia and I lost our children, and I was expelled from the Qi family.

How painful it is to understand all this.

At night, the phone rang suddenly at home. Because there was no mobile phone, the rapidly eliminated fixed line phone became the only way for me to contact the outside world.

"Honey, you are finally willing to answer the phone." as soon as I received the phone, it was Qi Jia. I was so excited that I almost threw away my mobile phone.

Qi Jia's voice was as gentle as in the past, but now it was a perfect irony for me. I restrained my anger and soon recovered my peace.

"What can I do for you?" I said coldly, but I still had questions in my heart.

"What's the matter? I'm surprised why I suddenly called you?" Qi Jia's self righteous tone made me feel extremely annoying and disgusting.

"Yes, it seems that we have nothing to do," I said faintly. It's best not to meet again and never involve any relationship again.

Although the winter in Mo City is very cold, I don't want to make myself colder because of someone, "Lin Qi, I came to tell you that I divorced you last time? But there are still some procedures that haven't been completed. It's about the division of property after marriage. When do you think I can come out and finish the procedures."

I understand Qi Jia's meaning. He wants to make up for me, because after all, he has been together for so long, and he also caused the divorce.

"No," I thought I didn't have that spare time when I heard that I was going out to meet, "Take the money and sell the coffin. We don't need to meet again. If there's anything else between us, we can give it to the lawyer. I'm leaving Mo City tomorrow. You don't have to come to me again, because I'm already gone when you look for me."

I really don't want to see that hateful man again. My sentence of "leaving" is also true. As long as bin. S comes out, I will leave the city without turning back.

"OK," I heard Qi Jia's reluctant tone on the phone. I don't know why, my mood suddenly began to get better and I can finally stop seeing him again.

If possible, I wish I would never see him again in my life.

At that time, I never thought that although I suffered all kinds of indifference and contempt when I left Qijia.

However, God did not forget me.

It made Qi Jia leave me, but it gave me a more perfect man.

Or, the end is always lost and sad, but it is also a beginning. At the beginning, it can always bring new hope to people.

My first test was passed by bin. S. international. I didn't expect that this news would be brought to me by my good sister Xu Lei on the phone at the first time.

In the process of talking to me, she smiled at me more than once, sincerely felt happy for me, and said she had a hunch that my achievements would be equally excellent and brilliant in the future.

Soon, bin. S. international offered me an olive branch - "is it Lin Qi? You have been admitted in the initial examination. Hurry to prepare and be sure to attend the interview on time in conference hall 18 of the company's main building on Friday."

I'm afraid this is the best news I've heard recently. Like a dawn in the dark, it shines on my cold heart and puts a trace of warmth in front of me.

According to what I said on the phone, I found the interview questions of multinational enterprises over the years from the Internet. I looked in the mirror every day, aimed at the mouth, put all kinds of shapes and perfect and exquisite pose, and even bought the latest women's suits from the boutique women's clothing store.

More than once, I looked forward to the moment when I walked into the interview hall and could give the examiner a new feeling with my best side.

However, the fact is always cruel. Soon, the hope that was not easy to give birth to in my heart began to fade like cold water because of one thing.

When I walked to the rostrum with my head held high and my face calm, my heart was a little tired. Because it has a very common origin, it feels like everything comes from extravagance.

"Your name is Lin Qi?" the examiner is a handsome and elegant man in his thirties. Beside him sat the woman in gray uniform that day.

I nodded and said yes.

I wanted to show him my polite and friendly side, but I saw the examiner. He kept his head down and didn't even look up at me.

It was not until I was about to leave that he looked at my resume. When he looked up at me again, there was a meaning in his eyes that I couldn't understand.

"I'm Lin Qi. I graduated from Mocheng Institute of technology. I..." when I was about to finish my speech, my words were ruthlessly interrupted.

"Enough, needless to say, it's all on my resume. I can see..." the cold words came out of the examiner's mouth. I was shocked, but I was really sweating in my heart.