It started with being hated by the girl in the band

...Obviously, I just want everyone to go back to the way they were before, why should I be treated like this?

Xiaoxiang has never replied to my messages since that day... He has never answered my phone calls either?

But, Xiaoxiang sent me a message asking me to take care of Zhonghe classmate, so I went there safely, right?

Xiaoxiang called me this afternoon, right? He asked about Zhonghe's health and so on... I answered him properly, right?

But even so, do I have to be treated like this?

why?

Did I do something wrong?

Why do I have to be treated like this?

"...Xiao Xiang, why?"

However, the other end of the phone was also extremely silent.

"..."

Toyokawa Shoko bit her lower lip gently, trying to suppress the guilt that was swelling and twitching in her heart, but she didn't know how to start the conversation.

Because, Su Shi really didn’t do anything wrong, right…?

If it were my old self, I would probably hang up the phone impatiently, or put on a cold face and accuse Su Shi of saying something condescending like "You only think about yourself."

…But, right now, I really can’t say such harsh words.

The image of Nakagawa Nobuyuki's tender look flashed through her mind, and Toyokawa Shoko regained her composure a little.

Although I still don't want everyone to know what I look like now...but that doesn't mean I have to be like a hedgehog and hurt everyone.

...If, that time, because of my excessive self-esteem, I threw away the helping hand that the letter offered me, how would I have been able to continue on my own?

This kind of thing makes people feel suffocated just thinking about it.

I have such a difficult self-esteem... I am just like a disabled person with one leg - and Xin and I are in such a three-legged relationship.

...I don’t need to recall how I hurt everyone. The scene of that day can still be clearly seen in my mind.

With this thought in mind, Toyokawa Shoko spoke calmly and softly.

"…Sushi, I'm sorry."

Logically speaking, according to the arrangement of some children's animations and some cheesy TV dramas, Nagasaki Motoyo should be nodding in pleasure now.

"…Just sorry? Xiaoxiang."

A low voice floated over from the other side of the phone.

162

Chapter 162: Su Shi: Xiangzi, I wish you happiness.

The night wind in Roppongi gradually calmed down, and the girl's flaxen hair that was scattered in the air gradually fell down naturally.

"…Just sorry? Xiaoxiang."

Although the increasingly depressed emotions in her chest were still beating, Nagasaki Motoyo simply lowered her arms with some fatigue.

I think I’ve said “I’m sorry” many times...many times, right?

...But, Xiangzi has never written himself a letter with words like "I'm sorry", right?

Really...really a little tired.

"...Su Shi, I have reasons to do this - if you can understand."

"...If you just think my hypocritical appearance is disgusting...I'm sorry, I can't make any excuses for myself."

On the other side of the phone, Toyokawa Shoko tried hard to calm her voice, but there was still a slight tremor in her voice, so she could only explain slowly like this.

"...Xiao Xiang, do you know that you look a lot like him now?"

Nagasaki Suyo lay down gently on the wooden floor of the balcony, twisting her hair lightly, staring absentmindedly at the moon hanging in the sky, emitting pale moonlight.

"...The tone of voice is exactly the same... He often says it this way, even with inversions like this?"

With the same pale smile, Nagasaki Su closed his somewhat hazy eyes and felt the breeze flowing slowly.

After a while, Toyokawa Shoko on the other end of the phone spoke softly.

"…This matter has nothing to do with the letter—"

"related."

Nagasaki Suyo interrupted Toyokawa Shoko softly, who was frowning slightly, as if she was unwilling to give the right to speak back to Toyokawa Shoko.

"...Xiao Xiang, do you know what I thought when I first met Nakagawa-san?"

After a self-deprecating laugh, as if feeling ashamed of herself for being so despicable, Nagasaki Suyo continued:

"What I was thinking was, [It must be that guy who deceived Xiaoxiang and forced Xiaoxiang to leave the band]"

"For Crychic, I have to [bring that guy back to the band and stabilize him, and then after bringing Xiaoxiang back to the band, let Xiaoxiang see this guy's true face, so that we can return to the former Crychic]."

"It can't be helped, right? Because [that guy] and you, Xiaoxiang, are both in Yuqiu. I have to think so much."

"That kind of thing does happen, right? A love-sick girl would even take a year off just to go to school with the boy she likes..."

Nagasaki Suyo, who was feeling a bit angry, was trying her best to suppress her increasingly trembling voice.

This anger is not directed at Xiangzi, nor at [that guy]... then who is it directed at?

...There's no need to ask such questions.

Of course, it was towards Nagasaki Suyo who trampled on his efforts in her heart.

Of course, it was to Nagasaki Suyo who had casually deceived his feelings in his heart.

Of course, it was to Nagasaki Motoyo who was pretending to be a good friend.

It was Nagasaki Suyo who was wantonly squandering his trust with the excuse of [reviving Crychic].

...Yes, Crychic is dead. I should have known this a long time ago. Really, why did I realize it only now?

Xiaoxiang himself doesn’t seem to care that much anymore, right?

And what about me? I almost wanted to drive that guy away because of Crychic... But even if I drove him away, would Xiaoxiang come back?

...Haha, if I really did it, what would it be like now?

...That kind of thing is almost ridiculous. Just thinking about myself being alone again makes me laugh.

Zhonghe, you...are too easy to fool, aren't you?

I just said those words, and then he came up with an extremely infuriating expression on his face and played such an important role. What is this?

...Doesn't this make people like me seem...even more despicable?

Maybe Zhonghe had already seen through my despicable thoughts, but he didn't expose me because he was concerned about my reputation...

Maybe that was why he joined Xiangzi's band.

He will leave or something, just think of it as myself, who is always calculating against others with preconceived ideas...Isn't it what I deserve?

…So salty, the taste of tears.

It is saltier than the soy sauce at Zhonghe’s house, a thousand or ten thousand times saltier.

What a fool I am.

Why, why should we chase him away?

Why, why is he leaving, and I am the one shedding tears?

I hate it so much. I hate myself for liking to scheme against others.

"...Su Shi, are you still there?"

Although she knew that she was involved in this matter, she had no idea where to start and could only twitch her lips bitterly.

...My damn self-esteem, why...why can't I be weaker at this time? I am so annoying...

Opening her lips slightly, Toyokawa Shoko almost said the fact that she was no longer a young lady...but she still failed.

Yes, she knew that no one would laugh at her, and she also knew that everyone would think of various ways to help her - but she at least... wanted to try, at least try to rely on her own abilities...

...So, I'm sorry, Su Shi.

I'm really...really sorry.

I can't say such heavy words.

As you are now, perhaps you are not yet capable of shouldering the responsibility of other people's lives.

"…It's okay, Xiaoxiang… I just feel a little uncomfortable."

Nagasaki Suyo, who was lying on the balcony, just stared at the sky silently and replied in a low voice.

No sobbing, no choking, not even a trace of loss of control, just silence.

Nagasaki Suyo slightly turned her body and looked at the noisy and complicated Tokyo port area with her slightly red and swollen eyes.

Although it was not the first time that I felt that these high-rise buildings were too annoying, it was the first time I saw the magnificent port area become blurred like this.

It’s so annoying. Why do everyone have to wear short-sleeved school uniforms in the summer?

...I can't wipe away my tears with my hands alone, they keep flowing.

"...Xiaoxiang, I wish you happiness."

"Su Shi, wait——"

beep.

Nagasaki Motoyo murmured softly, moving her somewhat weak fingers slowly back from the phone screen that had already hung up the call.

...Let Zhonghe accompany Xiaoxiang.

I am here alone, just enjoying the breeze... just enjoying the breeze.

...That's right, just let some fresh air blow.

But why am I still thinking about calling Zhonghe?

...I am even more despicable and disgusting like this.

beep...beep...

A soft dial tone sounded.

The dial tone grew louder and longer, and the girl's heart seemed to sink into the sea, slowly falling into a bottomless trench.

Ahhh...Is that so?

Perhaps Xiangzi has already told him the truth, so he doesn't have to worry about me anymore.

"Hey, Nagasaki, let me tell you in advance, if you have a stomachache from drinking milk, my after-sales service is not covered."

The familiar voice was like a ray of light shining into the deep sea, so dazzling that it was almost too blinding.

...It was so dazzling that it made people shed tears.

163

Chapter 163 Goodbye, Zhonghe?

Shimokitazawa, the entrance of LiveHouse【Starry】, whose popularity is another matter.

Under the bright light of the Starry door sign, Nakagawa Nobuyuki closed the door of Starry behind him. He could still hear the loud music coming from behind him.

It's really noisy inside now, so I can't answer the phone or anything, so I have to come out to answer it.

Fortunately, Nakagawa Nobuyuki noticed the sudden lighting up of his cell phone screen in time, otherwise he would have missed the call.

Nakagawa Nobuyuki picked up the phone gently, smiled slightly, and spoke jokingly.

"Hey, Nagasaki, let me tell you in advance, if you have a stomachache from drinking milk, my after-sales service is not covered."

I originally thought that Nagasaki on the other end of the phone would immediately respond to me, but in the end, there was no sound at all, just a quiet silence and the sound of the wind.

"...Nagasaki?"