Wizard: I am a goblin

The past two weeks have been a bit rough for Goblin.

Why? Because Gebu was living too well. Seeing others living comfortably was more painful than his own discomfort.

At noon, goblins lined up for food in the center of the square—a bustling and noisy scene, with arguments and fights breaking out from time to time.

"Hey, little brother Gebu, you've upgraded your gear in just a few days!" the fat goblin said loudly on purpose. "Seeing how well you're eating out every day, you don't even care about my food anymore, do you?"

Geb didn't answer him, he just smiled.

Nian'er Huai shook the large wooden spoon filled with gray paste, turning a spoonful of paste into half a spoonful.

*Snap*

Nian'er wickedly slammed the food into Gebu's broken bowl, splashing juice everywhere. Gebu had anticipated this and leaned back slightly, so the splattered food didn't land on his face but instead fell onto the goblin's big toe next to him.

"Hot! Ouch!" the goblin cried out, clutching its toe, then glared angrily at Geb. "You little brat, are you looking for death?!"

Before Geb could even defend himself, the fat goblin stepped forward and separated the scalded goblin from him.

"How dare you speak to Lord Gebu like that?! He's now Xiong Laoda's favorite, a professional bargain hunter, his bag is full of treasures. Getting your foot burned is a blessing in disguise, you'd better apologize quickly!"

The goblin was furious, but seeing the sly, chubby face, he couldn't retaliate. He limped away, not forgetting to give Geb a vicious glare before leaving.

The fat goblin turned to face Geb, revealing its chubby face:

"Calm down, little brother, don't take it to heart," he said with a forced smile.

Gebu didn't say much, took the bowl and left.

The moment Gebu disappeared into the crowd, the smile on Nian'er's wicked face vanished.

"Hey, it's my turn, fill it up!" The next goblin in the line came up with a wooden bowl.

"What's the rush!" the fat chef glared at him fiercely. "You're out of food. Next!"

"Damn it!" the goblin complained, then slammed the bowl on the ground and rolled up his sleeves to come up.

"What are you doing!" A hoarse voice came from the goblin horde, splitting the crowd in two like a sharp blade.

As soon as the voice rang out, a tall, sturdy, scarred, yellow-skinned goblin strode over with a menacing look. This was "Unhappy," the third most important figure in the tribe after the old shaman and the bear chief.

Before "Unhappy" could even speak, the goblin who had smashed the bowl immediately wilted. He picked up the bowl himself and tried to retreat into the crowd.

"What, you think you can just leave after throwing a tantrum?"

"I wouldn't dare... I wouldn't dare, I was wrong, please forgive my rudeness..."

"A temper vented is like urine spilled." The yellow-skinned goblin stood in front of the bowl-smashing goblin, its tall shadow completely obscuring the latter.

"You peed on the chef's head, and you think you can just say 'I'm sorry' and call it a day?"

The goblin that had smashed the bowl trembled as it clutched the wooden bowl. The surrounding goblins who had been watching the spectacle remained silent, not daring to utter a sound.

"Unhappy" snatched the bowl from the goblin's hand and handed it to "Naughty."

"Let him pee on it, then give it back to him."

Nian'er scratched his head.

"With so many people watching... I... I can't pee!"

"Stop talking nonsense." He cursed at the chubby boy in displeasure.

The fat goblin had no choice but to scurry behind the stove, dripping and drizzling, before returning with a bowl of yellowish liquid, its nose pinched.

He initially intended to hand the bowl to "Unhappy," but was glared at fiercely by Unhappy, so he quickly put the bowl on the ground in front of the bowl-smashing goblin.

"Drink," he said coldly, clearly displeased.

"I……"

"Don't look up if the bowl is bottomless."

silence.

The square was silent for a moment, then the sounds of small sips of liquid and gagging could be heard.

The goblins in the entire square felt nauseous, and the sounds of gagging echoed everywhere, including the chubby boy—he turned his head and almost threw up.

Only on his "unhappy" face did a wicked smile finally appear.

-----------------

In a corner of the goblin camp's storage area, two goblins, one tall and one fat, were whispering to each other.

"Hey, how's your investigation going, Gebu?" she said unhappily to Nian'er. Her hoarse voice was filled with displeasure.

"He only comes back to camp at dusk, and his hands are never empty. He's always carrying herbs, spoils of wild animals, and rare fruits. Then, as soon as night falls, he disappears again," the chubby boy muttered, his voice high-pitched and effeminate. "I had a few boys follow him, but he shook them off in just a few minutes."

"This Gebu, I've never seen him so clever before. It's only after he disappeared for a week that he's turned into a goblin." He wrinkled his nose and said fiercely, "It's one thing to flatter Boss Xiong, but he even dares to boast in front of the old shaman. He's really asking for trouble."

Nian'er's mischievous eyes darted around, and he whispered, "Herbal herbs aside, I doubt he could have gotten that much loot on his own. He says he was lucky, but why didn't the others get as much?"

"What do you mean?"

"He might have someone else outside."

"Kobolds from a mountain hollow?!" he blurted out unhappily. "Or gnolls? Or perhaps reptilians?"

"Boss, I meant, there are 'people'," the chubby boy added, "human people."

"Humans? Impossible. If a human saw him, they would have killed him long ago."

"Boss, think about it carefully. There are eight goblins in the group, so why did the weakest one, Gebu, survive?" The chubby boy's eyes were full of cunning. "Maybe he made some kind of agreement with the humans, infiltrated our Broken Tooth tribe, and planned to wipe us out in one fell swoop. And all those herbs and spoils were given to him by the humans. Otherwise, how could he have found all those good things on his own!"

"You..." Her brows furrowed in displeasure.

"Nian'er Huai" knew this guy's temper well. His current displeasure wasn't about the Broken Tooth Tribe, but about the spoils he hadn't been able to obtain, which this little Gebu had taken and given to Boss Xiong—clearly a public slap in the face. If he followed this logic, he was sure to hit the nail on the head.

"You're right! With his small frame, how could he possibly get his hands on something like a giant bear's tooth or a dire wolf's tail!" Unhappy gripped his battle axe, unable to contain himself, and was about to rush out of the warehouse.

The chubby boy quickly grabbed him when he saw this.

"Boss, don't be impulsive! Gebu is a favorite of the old shaman now, we can't just mess with him."

"So what if I do it! What can that old man Deng do to me?"

"You can't just say that, boss!"

The yellow-skinned goblin took a few deep breaths, seemingly realizing he had acted impulsively. His face, a mixture of yellow and brown, looked somewhat embarrassed. He released some of the pent-up anger.

"Then what should we do? Tell me."

"Leave it to me, I have a way." The chubby boy blinked and gave a greasy smile.

"Don't look at me, I feel like throwing up."

Snapped!

Unhappy, she slapped him across the face, making the chubby boy stumble and his smile vanish. Tears welled in his eyes from the pain, but he dared not cry out, panting like a sick little piglet.

"What's your plan? Tell me quickly."

"Yes...yes...I've noticed him hanging around the old shaman's herb workshop lately. I think he was the one who stole the herbs a few days ago. Brother, I have a plan...how about this...we'll combine our two crimes into one..."

The chubby boy covered his face and muttered to himself for a long time. When he saw "unhappy," he nodded repeatedly and quickly added a couple more sentences.

"If this works out, at the vagrant market a week from now, could you say a few words to the old shaman, boss..."

"Hmph, I knew that was what you were thinking. Even now, you haven't forgotten to try and get an advantage for yourself."

Unhappy, she pinched the chubby boy's swollen face, making him cry out in pain.

"If you get this done, I promise I'll take you to the market so you can earn some extra money."

The two men were plotting in a corner, unaware that a bat with a toad-like face was hanging upside down on the cave wall, listening to everything they said.