People in America: My Uncle Don Quixote

After removing the film, Li Wei put the barbell on the weight rack and began testing his lower body strength.

Eight 25-kilogram red steel plates, along with some smaller weight blocks.

Squat opening weight 250 kg.

This weight would be enough to clear out any commercial gym, but here in the basement, only the rapidly spinning washing machine witnessed this scene.

Li Wei was not wearing any protective gear, not a belt, and not knee pads.

For a physique of 1.7, his joint strength and flexibility are already completely independent of these external aids.

He crawled under the bar, his trapezius muscles gripping the rough knurling of the barbell.

Starts instantly.

270, 280, 290... all the way up to over 315 kilograms, until the barbell bars on both sides had slightly deformed, Li Wei finally set a new record.

Bench press 250 kg, squat 315 kg.

With his current weight of around 95 kilograms, he could potentially achieve a top 10 or even top 5 finish in an international powerlifting competition.

Currently, it's not possible to test the effects of the increased agility attribute in the basement, but it's likely a significant improvement.

Just as Li Wei was secretly delighted, he heard the door on the first floor seem to be pushed open, and Don Quixote walked in.

"What's with all those cardboard boxes by the door?" Don Quixote asked Levi as he came up from the basement. "Remember to flatten them and tie them together, otherwise those lazy garbage collectors might refuse to accept them and give you a ticket."

"The gym equipment I ordered has arrived," Li Wei said, looking at the serious-looking Don Quixote. "But why are you back so early?"

It's only a little past 3 p.m., and Don Quixote should still be in Susan's office by now.

"I..." Don Quixote cried out in despair, "I'm fucking in deep trouble."

?

Li Wei thought for a moment and said, "You killed your ex-wife?"

"Not so fast yet, I haven't thought of a good way yet," Don Quixote said, opening the refrigerator. "You bought beer—great, that's exactly what I need now."

He opened a bottle of beer, threw himself onto the sofa, and chugged the whole can.

"Since it's not about your ex-wife," Li Wei sat down next to him, "then what is it? Are you going to lose your job again?"

"Quite the opposite," Don Quixote muttered, "that's the bad thing I did so well."

? ?

"Are you speaking English?" Levi was a little confused about what this old dog was talking about. "Can't you speak something that humans can understand?"

"My dear nephew, come here," Don Quixote beckoned to Livy, his face serious. "I have something to ask you."

Li Wei leaned forward: "What is it?"

"If your boss sees you frequently working overtime and putting in a lot of effort," he said, "what would a normal boss do?"

"A normal boss would give a bonus, or a symbolic raise, or at the very least, an extra dry turkey for Thanksgiving."

Li Wei objectively analyzed, "If you perform diligently enough, they might even consider turning you from a 'temporary worker' into a 'permanent contract worker,' so you'll have that damn social security and medical insurance."

"That's right!" Don Quixote slapped his thigh. "But Susan—she just called me into her office and locked the door. I thought she wanted to go over the bill of materials for this quarter with me, but instead she looked me in the eye and asked if I was free this Friday night. She wanted to treat me to dinner as a thank you for helping her sort out the mess of accounts from the past two years over the past two weeks."

"That's great news!" Li Wei exclaimed happily. "I bet she's got her eye on you!"

Levi had known for a long time that Susan had a crush on Don Quixote, but he didn't expect that Susan would wait more than two weeks before making her move.

"That's the problem!"

Don Quixote jumped up as if he'd been pricked in the backside. He paced rapidly in the cramped living room, his leather shoes slamming against the floor in frustration. "This is a trap. Livy, you're young, you don't understand. A woman's invitation is like the Federal Reserve's interest rate cut signal; it seems to give you liquidity, but it's actually a way to trap you in even higher levels of debt."

"But don't you think that in your current state," Li Wei shrugged, "she has nothing to hold you back?"

Don Quixote's expression froze; it seemed that this was indeed the case.

He is no longer the spirited VP of JPMorgan Chase's investment banking division in his early thirties, but a down-on-his-luck accountant and inspector who has to depend on others for a living.

"So I think you can relax," Li Wei advised. "There's no harm in trying to make contact. There are still a few days until Friday, so you can continue to observe before making a decision."

"Anyway," Don Quixote continued pacing in the living room, "I have a feeling that I am doomed."

...

Two days passed in the blink of an eye.

After receiving an email from Franklin K. Lane High School, Li Wei went to a secondhand electronics store and spent $200 on a nearly obsolete Dell laptop, politely declining the store clerk's offer of 100GB of free Woodpecker and Brazzers high-definition pirated movies.

On his way back, he also signed up for his driver's license test. In New York State, you only need to be 16 years old and have a passport to get a driver's license.

On the morning of the third day, it was the big day for students in the Eastern United States to start school.

Li Wei also hitched a ride with Don Quixote to welcome his first day of school.

However, contrary to his expectations that he would enter the school as an unknown nobody, people started pointing at him and whispering about something as soon as he started queuing to go through security.

"It's him..."

"A backup quarterback..."

"...So handsome..."

"Asian..."

When Li Wei passed through security and entered the graffiti-covered teaching building, this sense of attention only increased.

"Excuse me," he called out to two high school girls who were passing by, "do you know me?"

The two girls who were called out looked at each other in surprise, and then burst into laughter.

"Of course!" One of the girls looked him up and down. "Your name is Bruce Lee, the new starting quarterback."

Levi made an "uh" sound. "I'm the new quarterback, but I'm not Bruce Lee, my name is Levi."

"Sorry," another girl popped her gum, "but you're really famous, haha."

"Why?" Li Wei asked, somewhat puzzled. "It's my first day of school today."

"Oh, you mean this?" The girl in front of me took out her phone and scrolled through it. "There's a video circulating at school of you knocking over three Jiefengs. I didn't realize you were so handsome and strong."

"Yeah, Levi," another girl chewing bubblegum winked at him, "we're also really interested in rugby. Could you come over to our house this weekend and coach us?"