Tang Dynasty: Slacking off in the Imperial Kitchen, exposed by Si Zi

Chapter 127: Forget about bestowing an official title, just give me an imperial gold medal instead.

Li Shimin said solemnly, "That stubborn old mule Wei Zheng cried his eyes out in court this morning, insisting that I bestow an official title upon him. He said this is a merit that will last for ten thousand generations, and if I do not reward him, it would be against all reason."

"Stop."

Su Mu stuffed a freshly peeled chestnut into Li Shimin's mouth, silencing him from saying anything more.

"I already said, this is a three-cent deal. If you really want to reward me, then raise the back wall a bit more, so those people who want to worship gods can't climb in and bother me."

Li Shimin, chewing on a chestnut, choked so hard his eyes rolled back. He finally managed to swallow and said, "You brat, you're utterly hopeless! This is a chance to bring glory to our ancestors!"

"What's more fragrant than roasted oranges when it comes to bringing glory to one's ancestors?"

Su Mu handed the last roasted orange to Xiao Sizi.

Little Sizi, holding an orange, smiled broadly and said in a childish voice, "That's right! Being an official isn't fun at all!"

My father always has a frown on his face, like a bitter gourd!

Guoguo is always smiling, he can even make a warm bed for your bottom and roast sweet potatoes! When I grow up, I want to be like Guoguo, not an official, but the King of Roasted Sweet Potatoes!

Li Shimin was both amused and exasperated. He reached out and pinched his daughter's cheek, saying, "You little rascal, you've betrayed me already?"

"Hehehe!"

"m夕哆哆!"

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Little Sizi made a face at him and buried her head in Su Mu's arms, "Guoguo smells good, like chestnuts! Aye smells bad, like—like imperial edicts!"

Li Shimin was taken aback, then burst into laughter.

The laughter echoed in the warm woodshed, sounding especially cheerful.

Outside the window, the snow continued to fall heavily, covering the entire city of Chang'an in a blanket of white.

Amidst the snow-covered landscape, countless simple honeycomb briquette stoves, like beating hearts, continuously deliver warmth to every corner of the Tang Dynasty.

"Oh, right."

After Li Shimin finished laughing, he suddenly remembered something, took out a dark iron plaque from his pocket, and threw it to Su Mu.

"What is this?"

Su Mu took it and saw that it was engraved with a strange beast head, and it was heavy.

The sign above reads: "Either let me through, or I'll pass."

"I hereby grant you permission to not attend court or serve as an official."

Li Shimin stood up, stretched, and said, "But you keep this plaque. It's an imperial gold plaque that signifies my personal presence."

With this, you are free to roam the entire Tang Dynasty, except for the imperial concubines' chambers.

Su Mu weighed the plaque in his hand, didn't express his gratitude, and casually stuffed it under his pillow.

"Okay, from now on I won't have to queue when I go out to buy groceries."

Li Shimin stumbled and almost fell off the kang (a heated brick bed).

"Let's go!"

Li Shimin angrily put on his boots and cloak. Just as he reached the door, he turned back and glanced at the table full of leftovers and the little ox playing with the rice cake.

"Tomorrow—I'll have the Empress try out this heated kang bed. She's frail and can't stand the cold. You, lad, remember to keep this place clean, don't let it turn into a pigsty."

"Okay, okay, stop nagging."

Su Mu waved his hand without even moving his buttocks.

The door closed.

The room returned to silence, with only the soft crackling of the fire in the stove.

Su Mu lay back on the kang, put his hands behind his head, and looked at the beams on the roof that were blackened by smoke.

"True Lord of Fire Virtue—"

He chuckled softly, "At least the winters in Chang'an aren't so cold anymore."

The little ox crawled over and nestled on his chest, holding up half a piece of rice cake: "Brother, you should have a bite too! It's sweet!"

The winter solstice is as important as the New Year.

The snow in Chang'an City had thickened again. It was so cold outside that the night watchman's clapper could crack from the cold, but inside the woodshed in the backyard of the imperial kitchen, where the chimney had been modified, steam was rising.

A thin layer of flour was sprinkled on the cutting board, and Su Mu held a rolling pin in each hand, working with both hands.

The dumplings were very obedient in his hands. With a twist of his left hand and a push of his right, two dumpling wrappers, thick in the middle and thin at the edges, flew out and landed steadily in the bamboo tray, like a human pyramid.

"Hey bro! Xizi wants to play this too!"

Little Sizi knelt on the heated kang bed covered with a thick quilt, her little face smeared with several streaks of white flour, looking just like a little kitten that had just crawled over a flour jar.

She was clutching a lump of dough that had been squeezed until it was rock hard, and she was struggling with it.

"This isn't a game; this is making clothes for your ears."

Su Mu didn't stop working, nor did he lift his eyelids.

"It's very cold on the winter solstice. The beggars outside who have no clothes to wear have ears that are frozen and brittle. When the wind blows, they fall to the ground with a thud and can't be picked up."

Just as Xiao Sizi was about to shove the dough ball on his head, he heard this and his hand trembled, causing the dough ball to fall onto the kang table with a thud.

She covered her two little ears in fear and rubbed them hard.

"Fell—fell to the ground? Does that mean I won't be able to hear Father calling anymore?"

After rolling out the last piece of dough, Su Mu picked up his chopsticks and began selecting the filling.

Three large bowls of fillings were placed in front of me.

A pot of mutton and carrot is for those who are afraid of the cold to nourish their bodies; a pot of pork and scallions is oily and satisfying; and a pot of chives and eggs is so fresh that you'll want to swallow your tongue.

"As long as you eat this cold-dispelling dumpling soup, your ears will be stuck together and won't freeze off."

Su Mu was talking nonsense with a straight face.

Little Sizi believed it and quickly grabbed the lump of dough that had fallen on the table, pressing it down with both of her little hands.

"That bandage needs to be huge! Stick it all the way up to Father's ears!"

This little girl has a strong hand; she flattened that lump of dough.

They wouldn't put any filling in, they just pinched the two ends together, making it look neither like an ear nor a dumpling, but more like a flattened flying saucer.

With a creak.

The door was pushed open, and a gust of cold air tried to rush in, but was pushed back by the heat wave inside.

Li Shimin helped Empress Zhangsun into the room.

With the help of the heated kang bed and pear syrup these past few days, Empress Zhangsun's complexion has improved considerably. Although her face is still pale, at least she is not coughing as incessantly as she had before.

Following behind was the retired Emperor Li Yuan, who was carrying two jars of fine wine that he had somehow acquired.

Last but not least was Li Lizhi, who was wrapped up tightly and began to unwrap her cloak as soon as she entered the room.

"Oh, it's so warm in here."

Empress Zhangsun handed the hand warmer to a palace maid beside her, took off her heavy cloak, and wore only a casual padded jacket.

She reached out and touched the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed), and the warmth emanating from it instantly made her perpetually cold hands and feet feel much better.

"Guanyinbi, I told you this place was a fairy cave."

Li Shimin rubbed his hands together, not acting like an emperor at all. He skillfully took off his boots and sat cross-legged on the kang (a heated brick bed).

He glanced at the table full of dough and meat filling, and his interest was piqued.

"Making dumplings? I'm an expert at that! Back in the day, when the cooks were too busy to keep up with the army, I even helped out myself."

Su Mu glanced at him and handed him a pair of chopsticks.

"Talk is cheap; go wash your hands."

Li Shimin chuckled, not annoyed at all. He got off the kang (heated brick bed), washed his hands in the wooden basin, and came back to roll up his sleeves, ready to get to work.