Wandering in the vast darkness

Chapter 80 touches on painful memories.

"Bianbian, someone is insulting you," Jianjian said from the back row.

Bianbian didn't even turn her head. It seemed they were used to being insulted in the livestream. She asked:

"What did you say to me?"

"You're just playing the victim without using your brain."

Bianbian was indignant and asked, "How did I play the victim? Don't you even use your brain?"

He said, "If you had gone to a good university, you wouldn't be unable to find a job. The reason you didn't go to a good university is because you didn't work hard enough."

Bianbian clapped his hands sharply and said to the camera:

"I don't know who said that. Where did you take the college entrance exam? Let me tell you, I got the top score in my village. Wasn't that hard work? Could you get the top score in your area? I got the top score, but in the end, I still went to some kind of garbage university that nobody even knows."

Yu Wenhao, curious, asked, "Why? Did you not fill out your application correctly?"

"No, it's that my grades are terrible. I'm the top student in the whole township, but I still only get into the lower end of the third-tier college entrance exam cutoff score," Bianbian said.

"It's not that scary, it will be alright, it definitely will be alright."

Yu Wenhao laughed. It was the first time he had ever heard someone explain the word "嫑" like that. Bianbian was still sad, but she couldn't help but laugh too.

Yu Wenhao nodded, agreeing with Bianbian's assessment. It seemed to be the same not only in schools but also in hospitals. For example, Yongcheng No. 1 Hospital had several good doctors, but after a few years, when he saw them again, they had all been transferred to hospitals in Hangzhou or Shanghai.

"Come on, you, the one who was talking about me just now, you tell me. You have things that I don't. We seem to be starting at the same time, but when you started, you were already eighty meters ahead of me. You could walk to the finish line before me. How can I compare to you? Is it because I'm not trying hard enough?"

"Hey, hey, what's the word 'don't' when the two words are together, with 'don' lying on top of 'want'?" Jianjian asked.

Jianjian also cried. She said in a sob, "Bianbian, many people are comforting you, giving you tips, and sending you gifts."

Even though Bianbian was crying, she kept saying, "Thank you, thank you, family."

Yu asked Bianbian, "So what are you planning to do next?"

Bianbian and Jianjian were unaware of what was going on, but seeing that the other person was Yu Wenhao's friend, they both nodded.

"The good teachers in the county high school have all been transferred to the city or invited to private schools. They are eliminated layer by layer, and in the end, the ones left in our school are all unwanted trash. Tell me, what kind of good students can such a bunch of trash teachers produce? What good results can they achieve?"

She shrieked, "Flatty, many people wish you success in your dreams."

"People like you from the city, Master Yu, who don't do well in school, will definitely go to all sorts of tutoring classes, right? There are all sorts of tutoring classes in the city, and even students from the county can go to all sorts of tutoring classes. But where we're from, there aren't any. There's not a single tutoring class in the countryside. They talk about educational equity, but education has never been fair. All the good resources are concentrated in the city."

Yu Wenhao thought about it and realized something was wrong, so she asked Jianjian, "How did you come up with this word?"

"If I go back, the most disappointed people will be my parents. Did they have a hard time supporting me through college? They sent me to school hoping I could make something of myself, stand out from the crowd, and not end up like them. I am their hope. Master Yu, do you know that every time I call them, I only dare to say that I'm doing very well, and I just brag?"

Yu Wen found it strange and asked, "Why do they look like a pair of adulterers?"

"Biao," Yu Wenhao said, "means 'no.'"

"Go back? Ha, what could I do back there? Learn to farm all over again?"

"San San, 'Don't be nice, come to my place, San San,'" Jian Jian said. "Who is this person calling? Where are they going?"

Yu Wenhao chuckled and said, "Go ahead and call, it's coming."

Bianbian kept shaking her head. She said, "I've been lying to myself until I don't want to anymore. The year before last, I told myself it would get better, it definitely would, but it didn't get better last year. I kept lying to myself last year, it would get better, it definitely would, but it's still like this now. I can't even keep lying to myself anymore."

"This word sounds like a pair of adulterers," Jianjian said.

If even a relatively wealthy county like Yongcheng is like this, it's even worse in the towns and villages below. Where can you find any talent in the towns and villages these days?

Bianbian looked at Yu Wenhao and suddenly burst into tears, crying uncontrollably. Yu Wenhao quickly handed her a tissue and said:

Jianjian and Yu Wenhao laughed together.

San San bent down, looked into the car, and then pointed with her finger, saying, "You're flat, you're pointed, right?"

"Those of you from 985 and 211 universities, tell yourselves, how many of you dare say you didn't have tutoring? Didn't you go to a good middle school? Would you have had teachers whose level was similar to mine, or even worse?"

Bianbian was sobbing, and Yu Wen looked at her, not knowing what to say.

Yu Wenhao drove ahead and turned left, then turned left again onto the Zhonghe Elevated Road. He continued driving until he reached the Qingchun Road exit, then turned onto Zhida Fangbo.

At the south gate of Wan'an City Garden West Courtyard, Yu Wenhao saw San San standing in front of the Lawson convenience store, smoking a cigar. Seeing Yu Wenhao's car, San San, with the cigar between two fingers, waved to Yu Wenhao, who then drove up and stopped in front of him.

"Look, they pretended to say no, no, I don't want to, but in the end they still ended up lying together," Jianjian said.

"Education is unfair, but the exams are very fair. Whether it's in the city or the countryside, everyone takes the same test, and the admission scores are also fair and the same. No matter how hard I try, I can't compete with students in the city. How can I compete?"

"If the city isn't suitable, why can't we go back?" Yu asked.

"Later, they even said they wanted to carry out quality education. We were terrified. I didn't see a piano until I was in college, and I didn't touch a piano until I was in college. You want me to compare quality education with city kids who have been learning piano since elementary school?"

"Thank you, thank you!" Bianbian said, "But right now, I really don't even dare to dream of success. It's too hard. Life in the city is getting harder and harder, and I can't go back. I don't even dare to think about the future."

Bianbian glanced at Yu Wenhao and sneered:

Yu Wen was taken aback and asked, "What else did you write?"

Bianbian said, "Are you happy? You're all laughing so hard, right? But it's a tearful story. At our school, I'm not bragging, but I could solve problems better than even our teachers. And my English was even more standard than our English teacher's. Why? Because all the slightly better teachers were transferred to the county high school."

Yu rolled down the car window and looked at San San, asking, "What?"

"If I study away from home for so many years and end up farming again, what's the point of studying? Why do my parents work so hard to support me? Tell me, Master Yu, can I even go back?"

"I don't know. I'll just take it one day at a time. I dream every day that I might suddenly become famous and then have everything. If my dream is shattered, I don't dare to think about it." Bianbian shook her head.

Yu said yes.

"Haha, this word is fun, I'm going to write it down, isn't it, Master Yu?" Jianjian smiled through her tears and greeted Master Yu.

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