Reborn as a comedic artist

"We're going to rearrange a piece of music as our team's debut performance."

Cheng Ming's voice echoed in the rehearsal room, carrying a strange sense of excitement.

Gu Xiao frowned slightly. She had already moved a stool and sat down next to Cheng Ming. Her fingers unconsciously tapped the piano keys, producing a few crisp single notes.

As a professional and a "prodigy" who received a formal classical music education from a young age, she has an instinctive pickiness when it comes to choosing repertoire.

"What kind of song? If it's one of those overused pop songs, I suggest you forget about it. Whether it's the piano or my violin, both have dignity..."

Cheng Ming did not answer directly, but a mysterious smile appeared on his lips.

He turned around, picked up a pen, and scribbled a few large characters on the tattered notebook with its edges curled up.

Then, he tore the paper off with a "rip" and placed it in front of Gu Xiao.

"This is how we began..."

Zhao Yufeng and Lin Yiyi exchanged a glance and approached with suspicion.

On the paper, a line of handwriting was messy and crooked—"The Art of Shuyin is Good".

The air seemed to freeze at that moment.

"What...is this?"

Gu Xiao looked at the name, which was full of rustic charm and even had a plastic feel to it, and her brow twitched violently twice. A very bad premonition welled up in her heart.

"This is a grand narrative about dreams, passion, and the perfect fusion of photographic art and modern music."

In this parallel world, there is no Stephen Chow who always wears worn-out sneakers and says, "What's the difference between a person without dreams and a salted fish?" Naturally, there is no catchy and timeless classic like "Shaolin Kung Fu is Good".

What Cheng Ming wants to do is to replicate it and make it more "abstract" and more "postmodern" adaptations.

Cheng Ming turned around, picked up the acoustic guitar next to him, and tested the sound briefly: "Gu Xiao, you're the technical expert. The melody of this song is very simple, in E major, 4/4 time, with only chord progressions of the 6th and 3rd degrees. As for the improvisational accompaniment, just follow my rhythm...!"

I don't need your playing to be sophisticated or flashy; on the contrary, I want you to play with a rustic charm...

..................

Experts see the details.

Seeing that Cheng Ming was speaking with conviction, it became clear that he was truly knowledgeable about music theory, arrangement, and performance.

Upon hearing this, Gu Xiao's tense shoulders relaxed slightly, and she let out a long sigh of relief.

Fortunately, it was just playing the piano.

As long as she doesn't have to make any strange expressions or wear any bizarre clothes, she can accept simple technical adjustments.

Gu Xiao quickly constructed a music theory model in his mind: "A rustic feel? That means delaying the emphasis a bit, adding some glissando? No problem..."

"Okay, if you have no problem with this, I'll play and sing it once now. You guys need to memorize it. This melody is unforgettable, you could even say it's... soul-stirring."

Lin Yiyi and Zhao Yufeng also pricked up their ears with curiosity. What kind of magical melody could make Cheng Ming praise it so highly?

Cheng Ming cleared his throat, practiced a few notes in a melodic scale, focused his breath, and struck a pose as if Pavarotti was about to sing "O Sole Mio".

Available in the next second.

It was a voice with perfect natural talent, produced by the system, yet it emitted a devilish whisper with simple rhythm.

"Shuyin art is so good! Really good! Shuyin art is amazing! Really amazing!"

His voice was deep and sexy, each word sounding like sandpaper scrubbing against everyone's eardrums.

........

silence.

There was an even more complete silence than when it was announced that Wang Shuo would be sent to carry cement.

Gu Xiao, who had just raised her hands to prepare for the performance, began to doubt the meaning of life.

Lin Yiyi's mouth was wide open, big enough to fit a whole egg, as if her soul had been drawn out of her body by the singing.

Zhao Yufeng was stunned, frozen in place, his mouth twitching wildly, almost unable to hold back his tears.

What the hell is this thing?!

Is this really music?

This is utterly a desecration of art, a form of spiritual pollution, a biological weapon!

After a long while...!

Coming to her senses, Lin Yiyi weakly raised her hand, her voice trembling, "Um, Ming-ge, have you been under too much pressure lately? Are you feeling a bit... well...? How about we go to the Second Hospital and get an appointment? I'll pay for it..."

"This melody is so corny...! If this gets out, what will become of the reputation of Sichuan Music Academy? I'll have to wear a mask every time I go out from now on, afraid of getting beaten to death...!"

Zhao Yufeng finally came to her senses and couldn't help but complain loudly. No matter how much she liked Cheng Ming's looks, she looked disgusted at this moment.

Gu Xiao's face was cold, her gaze sharp as knives: "I won't play it. It's an insult to my instrument and to my ears. This kind of thing doesn't deserve to be called music at all..."

.................

Cheng Ming remained unfazed by the collective resistance from the three.

With a second strike of his Eagle Claw technique, he lifted Gu Xiao up, his tall figure casting a shadow that enveloped the latter.

"You think it's tacky? Wrong, completely wrong! Tacky to the extreme is actually trendy...!"

In today's online environment, the monotonous refinement has long since caused aesthetic fatigue. What audiences want to see is contrast, the absurdity of reality...!

Cheng Ming lowered his head, his deep peach blossom eyes fixed on Gu Xiao, becoming more and more excited as he spoke.

"Gu Xiao, imagine yourself dressed in a formal gown, exuding an aloof and icy aura, standing under the spotlight, playing this mesmerizing melody with a serious, even almost sacred expression. What kind of reaction would this huge contrast produce...?"

As I said before, it's all about building up to a climax by first presenting a stunt. The current 'stunt' is a prelude to the explosive 'climax' that will blow everyone away later!

With feet on the ground, IQ shuts down, and the hindsight bias takes over.

Gu Xiao was stunned by Cheng Ming's manipulative words.

Reason told her that this was absurd, utter nonsense.

But the light in Cheng Ming's eyes was so infectious; that certainty, that confidence, seemed to show that he could already see the future glory.

And...! The phrase "too tacky is actually cool" has been swirling in my mind for a while, and it seems to make a strange sense of it?

In today's fashion world, isn't it true that the weirder you are, the more people will support you?

"Really...can it...work...?" Gu Xiao hesitated, asking uncertainly.

"Believe me, when have I ever lied to you...! If this doesn't become popular, I'll go with Wang Shuo to carry cement for a month!" Cheng Ming said resolutely, his eyes burning.

........

Having dealt with the most difficult Gu Xiao, Cheng Ming immediately turned his attention to Lin Yiyi, who was already in a state of malfunction.

"Panda Sister...!"

Lin Yiyi trembled at the shout: "Ah...? Yes...!"

"They're all string instruments, so you can play the guzheng, and it's not unreasonable to give the bass a root note... after all, there are only two chords... All you need to do is try not to laugh and hold the bass line tight...!"

Lin Yiyi blinked her big eyes, her mind a complete mess.

As a guzheng player, she only plays the root notes of grade 6 and grade 3 chords on the bass, which is not difficult for her at all!

"But... this tune is so weird, I'm afraid when I play bass it'll sound like I'm fluffing cotton..." Lin Yiyi muttered softly.

"That's what's weird! That's the kind of bizarre beauty I want. Even cotton fluffing should be done with an artistic fluffing..." Cheng Ming didn't give her a chance to refute.

Finally, his gaze fell on Zhao Yufeng: "Heroine Zhao."

"Tell me, how are you going to torment me?"

Zhao Yufeng raised an eyebrow and twirled the drumstick in his hand.

"Your task is the simplest and most important: to be responsible for the rhythm of this piece. The rhythm of the whole piece doesn't need to be too complicated. Just make the opening drum transition and the closing drum transition a little more fancy."

At this point, Cheng Ming leaned closer and lowered his voice, saying, "But in the chorus, specifically the part where 'I am Art Ming' goes, give me a heavier drumbeat. Get that frenzy, that hysteria out of me...!"

...................