My Imperial Advisor is ChatGPT

The Shanglin Garden outside Xianyang City has now become a veritable military restricted area.

However, in recent days, residents living nearby have been smelling a strange odor. It's not the usual smell of sweat or horse manure found in military camps, but a strong, sour smell, as if someone had smashed dozens of jars of pickled cabbage at the same time.

"What's that smell? Is Zhao Gao from the Imperial Household Department brewing some kind of poison again?"

"Shh! Don't talk nonsense! I heard His Majesty is preparing 'divine food' for his warhorses!"

……

Shanglin Garden, the main camp of heavy cavalry.

Xiang Yu stood before the stable, his face dark with anger. His beloved Wuran steed (though black, it was notoriously temperamental) snorted at the pile of yellowish-green fodder in the trough, its expression one of utter disgust, as if to say, "Is this for horses?"

"Han Xin!" Xiang Yu kicked the manger, sending splinters flying. "Is this how you calculated things? My horses need fine feed! Black beans! Eggs! And you're feeding them this... sour, rotten grass?"

"Do you know how much energy this horse expends carrying my eighty pounds of armor and charging into battle? If it loses weight, I'll hold you responsible!"

Han Xin sat on a pile of hay, a charcoal pencil in his hand, drawing a more complex logistical supply line diagram on a wooden board. Hearing Xiang Yu's roar, he didn't even raise his head, but pushed up his non-existent glasses on the bridge of his nose (a habitual action instilled by Little G's data).

"Commander Xiang, please calm down."

Han Xin pointed to the pile of sour grass.

"First of all, this is not rotten grass, it is called 'silage'. His Majesty ordered the Imperial Household Department to use chopped millet stalks and legumes, along with special bacteria, to ferment it in a sealed cellar."

"Secondly, according to my calculations, this stuff is three times more nutritious than hay. And it's rich in... uh, that thing called vitamins. Horses that eat it won't lose weight; in fact, their coats will become shinier."

"Third," Han Xin finally raised his head, a calculating glint in his eyes, "we don't have enough beans."

Xiang Yu was taken aback: "Not enough? Wasn't Liu Bang collecting beans all over the world?"

"It's no use taking them back," Han Xin sighed. "Three thousand heavy cavalry, plus ten thousand horses for auxiliary troops. They'll be eating fifty thousand catties of black beans every day. At this rate, before we even reach the Xiongnu, the Qin treasury will be emptied by the horses. The men won't starve to death, but the horses will die from overeating first."

"Therefore, it must be eaten mixed. Seven parts silage and three parts black beans. This is the optimal ratio."

Xiang Yu, still somewhat skeptical, grabbed a handful of the sour-smelling fodder, held it under his nose, and almost vomited.

"This thing...is it really edible?"

Just then, a carriage bearing the sign "Xianyang City Magistrate" drove into the camp.

Liu Bang jumped off the chariot, carrying a fine burlap sack in his hand, his face beaming with smiles.

"Generals! What's all this noise about? I can hear the Overlord's voice from far away."

Xiang Yu sneered, "Liu Ji, you've come at the right time. Look at this grass, is it for horses to eat?"

Liu Bang leaned closer to take a sniff, his eyes lighting up: "Wow! This smells just right! It tastes exactly like the pickled cabbage from Xiao He's house!"

He didn't mind the dirt and pulled a dark, hard, biscuit-like object out of the bag.

"General Xiang, don't just stare at the grass. Come, try this. This is a new product developed by my Liu's Trading Company—'Royal Special Horse Biscuits'!"

"Horse...biscuits?" Xiang Yu and Han Xin were both stunned.

Liu Bang proudly explained, "This is made by grinding black beans into powder, mixing in chopped dried grass, adding salt, and a little bit of... molasses, then pressing it down and baking it dry."

"This stuff stores well and is small in size. If a horse gets hungry during a march, just give it a piece; it'll be enough for a meal!"

As he spoke, Liu Bang actually broke off a small piece and put it in his mouth, chewing it with a crunchy sound.

"Mmm! It smells delicious! It's a bit hard, but the more you chew, the more satisfying it becomes!"

Xiang Yu was dumbfounded. This Liu Ji is a ruthless man; he's stealing the horse's food?

The Wuran horse next to him seemed to smell the aroma, stretched its neck and came closer, snatched the half-biscuit from Liu Bang's hand and started chewing it with crunching sounds. Not only did it not spit it out, but it also wanted more.

"Look! Even the horses love it!" Liu Bang clapped the crumbs off his hands. "General Xiang, this cartload of biscuits is a gift for you. If you like them in the future, remember to put in a good word for us with His Majesty and get us more orders."

Xiang Yu looked at the horse that was eating with relish, then at Liu Bang who looked shrewd and Han Xin who looked calculating, and suddenly felt that he was being a bit stifled as the "commander".

So while the whole world is scheming about how to feed the horses, he's the only one thinking about how to kill people?

"Alright," Xiang Yu said in a muffled voice. "As long as the horse has the strength, I can cut the Xiongnu in half."

……

Xianyang Palace, Qilin Hall.

Ying Zheng was not much relieved after solving the problem of feeding the horses. He was now facing a more delicate war—the war of public opinion.

In the center of the main hall, several trembling Confucian scholars knelt. They were the pen holders of the "Burning the Night Pavilion," usually capable of writing agricultural books, but today, His Majesty had given them a task that was a bit beyond their capabilities.

"Have you finished writing the articles I asked you to write?" Ying Zheng asked, holding a stack of Qin paper in his hand, his face grim.

The leading Confucian scholar said in a trembling voice, "Your Majesty, I've...I've finished writing it. The title is 'On the Inhumanity of the Xiongnu and the Righteousness of the Qin Dynasty'..."

"read."

"Yes. 'The Xiongnu are barbarians. They do not know propriety or righteousness, nor do they know shame. They invade our borders and disturb our people. Therefore, the Great Qin raised a righteous army to mourn the people and punish the guilty...'"

"stop!"

Ying Zheng impatiently interrupted him and threw the stack of papers on the ground.

"Too soft! Too literary! Too boring!"

"Is this article written for me, or for the people of the six kingdoms who still yearn for their lost homeland?"

"Do they understand anything about 'barbarians' or 'mourning the people and punishing the guilty'? They just think that the Qin state is conscripting men for war again!"

Ying Zheng stood up and walked to the light screen.

"Little G, tell them what 'clickbait' and 'emotional manipulation' are."

[Received, Your Majesty.]

The first core principle of information warfare: Create a common enemy.

The people of the six states hated Qin because Qin had destroyed their countries. To gain their support for the war, they needed to be made to believe that the Xiongnu were more terrifying and cruel than Qin, and that they were targeting each and every one of them.

[The second core principle of information warfare: The story must be specific, bloody, and relatable.]

Ying Zheng turned around and looked at the Confucian scholars, his eyes becoming sharp.

"Rewrite."

"Change the title to: Shocking! Three villages on the border of Zhao were massacred, and a pregnant woman was among the victims!"

Or: "A Wei native returns home to visit relatives and discovers that his ancestral graves have been used as toilets by the Xiongnu!"

The Confucian scholars were dumbfounded. This...this is too...disgraceful to scholarship!

"What? Can't you write it?" Ying Zheng sneered. "If you can't write it, go eat silage in Shanglin Garden."

"I order you to interview the refugees who fled back from the border. Write down for me the details of how the Xiongnu robbed grain, killed men, and abducted women—clearly, vividly!"

"I want the farmers of Qi to see this and grip their hoes tightly; I want the scholars of Chu to see this and draw their swords."

"I want the whole world to know that the Great Wall is not my wall, but their family's lifeline!"

"And another thing!" Ying Zheng added, "Start a column in the Qin Daily, serializing the stories of Han Xin and Xiang Yu's military training. Portray Xiang Yu as a 'god descended to earth,' and Han Xin as 'a master strategist with flawless plans.'"

"I want to create stars. I want the people to feel that with these two people around, even if the sky falls, someone will hold it up."

The Confucian scholars exchanged glances and gritted their teeth.

"Your Majesty... I obey! I'll go and write... oh no, I'll go and gather material!"

……

Once the seeds of public opinion are sown, they grow faster than weeds.

A few days later, teahouses, taverns, and even fields in Xianyang were buzzing with discussion.

"Have you heard? Those Huns aren't human! They're hairy monsters! They eat children's hearts and livers!"

"Really?"

"How could it be fake? It was even published in the Great Qin Daily! There were even pictures! It said that in a village in Yan, the entire village was captured by the Xiongnu and fed to wolves!"

"This is terrible... those beasts!"

"Ah, thank goodness we have the Great Wall built by the First Emperor. Otherwise, those monsters would have attacked long ago."

"I've heard that General Xiang Yu is ten feet tall, with a waist circumference of ten feet, and can eat a whole cow in one meal! He's leading some kind of 'Iron Pagoda' to deal with the Xiongnu!"

"Fight! We must fight! Although I hate the harshness of Qin law, if the Xiongnu come, we'll all die! I'm willing to donate two bushels of rice!"

The will of the people, something that is usually the most difficult to grasp, miraculously began to converge on Xianyang Palace, driven by fear and anger.

The old nobles of the six states originally wanted to take advantage of the war to make some small moves, but they were dumbfounded when they found that their own guards were discussing how to join the army to kill the Xiongnu.

……

External threats must be addressed by first securing internal stability, and securing internal stability requires not only the pen but also diplomatic means.

The Xiongnu were not idle. Although Touman Chanyu was accumulating strength, he also sent envoys to Xianyang.

Under the guise of paying tribute, their true purpose was to spy on the enemy and, incidentally, extort money from them.

Inside the Qilin Hall, a special audience is taking place.

The Xiongnu envoy was named Huyan Zhuo, a burly man with a fierce face. He wore a heavy fur coat, a curved sword at his waist, and swaggered into the hall, merely bowing slightly without kneeling.

"Great Chanyu's envoy greets the Emperor of Qin," Huyan Zhuo said arrogantly. "The Great Chanyu has heard that the Emperor of Qin has built a good road and wishes to borrow it for horseback riding. In addition, this winter the snow on the grasslands has been heavy, and many cattle and sheep have frozen to death. The Great Chanyu wishes to request the Emperor of Qin to provide 200,000 shi of grain, plus... 3,000 artisans and 500 beautiful women."

In the imperial court, the civil and military officials were so angry that their faces turned ashen.

Meng Yi's hand was already on the hilt of his sword. As long as His Majesty gave the order, he could kill this barbarian on the spot.

But Ying Zheng was not angry.

He sat on the dragon throne, looking languid, even somewhat...dazed.

"Oh, Great Chanyu, you're too kind," Ying Zheng waved his hand. "It's just some grain and women. Great Qin is rich beyond measure; what's a little bit of this?"

Huyan Zhuo was secretly delighted. It seemed the rumors were true; the Qin Emperor was getting old, and the road construction had emptied the national treasury, so he dared not wage war.

"However," Ying Zheng changed the subject, "I'm afraid the craftsmen won't do. I'm currently repairing the Epang Palace, and we don't even have enough craftsmen. How about this, I'll send the Great Chanyu some better things."

Ying Zheng clapped his hands.

Zhao Gao came up with a group of eunuchs. The trays on which were placed were not gold and silver, but bottles of crystal clear... high-proof liquor.

This is "Mendao Lv" purified by Shaofu using distillation technology, with an alcohol content as high as 60 degrees.

There were also boxes of exquisite glass balls and mirrors, and several truckloads of "Shu Yunrou" toilet paper.

"This wine is called 'Immortal's Intoxication'," Ying Zheng said, pointing to the bottle. "One sip and your whole body will feel warm, as if you've ascended to heaven. The grasslands are bitterly cold, and this is the best way to ward off the cold."

"This mirror can reflect people's hearts. If given to the wives of the Great Chanyu, it will surely win a smile from the beauties."

"As for this paper..." Ying Zheng smiled mysteriously, "The Great Chanyu will know once he uses it; it's an enjoyment fit for the clouds."

Hu Yanzhuo stared wide-eyed at these rare and exotic treasures he had never seen before.

His greedy face was reflected in the glass mirror. He opened the bottle and took a sniff; the strong aroma almost knocked him over.

Great stuff! All great stuff!

"Emperor Qin... is indeed generous!" Huyan Zhuo abandoned his arrogance, greedily stroking the wine bottle. "And the grain..."

"Grain is no problem," Ying Zheng said, looking like a spendthrift. "It's just that the roads are difficult to travel on lately. You take these treasures back first, and I'll send the grain later."

"By the way, to show my sincerity, I have also sent a caravan to accompany you back, bringing more fine wine and silk to trade with your Great Chanyu."

Huyan Zhuo was overjoyed. This Qin Emperor was truly a sucker!

"Okay! It's a deal!"

……

Watching the Xiongnu envoys return laden with dozens of carts of "luxury goods," Meng Yi finally couldn't hold back any longer.

"Your Majesty! Why must we suffer this humiliation? Why give them wine and meat? Those glass items may be worthless, but they are still aiding the enemy!"

Ying Zheng dropped his languid expression, his eyes instantly turning icy cold.

"To aid the enemy?"

"Meng Yi, you've only seen the first layer."

Ying Zheng stood up and walked to the map.

"That wine has an extremely high alcohol content. The Xiongnu people are used to drinking mare's milk wine, so they'll definitely get addicted to this. Once they're drunk, will they still be able to ride a horse? Will they still be able to draw a bow?"

"Those glass panes and toilet paper are meant to corrupt the will of their nobility. It's easy to go from frugality to extravagance, but difficult to go from extravagance to frugality. When they get used to wiping their bottoms with toilet paper, used to admiring themselves in the mirror, used to getting drunk..."

"They are no longer that pack of hardworking wolves."

"Moreover," a glint of light flashed in Ying Zheng's eyes, "the caravan I sent was no ordinary caravan."

"Those are the elite of the Black Ice Guard."

"They will enter the grasslands with a 'special mission'."

"For example, they would buy cattle and horse hides at high prices and then have the Xiongnu kill their warhorses to sell them for money."

"For example, they spread rumors that Touman Chanyu was going to pass the throne to his youngest son, inciting Modu to rebel."

"This is called a 'sugar-coated bullet'."

"Little G," Ying Zheng sneered inwardly, "how well have you learned my 'peaceful evolution' tactic?"

Your Majesty, you are truly a self-taught genius.

[Sun Tzu's Art of War states: "To subdue the enemy without fighting is the best policy." You're essentially crippling the Xiongnu.]

However, Huyan Zhuo isn't stupid. He'll definitely test him when he gets back.

"Let him try." Ying Zheng turned around. "My 'Iron Pagoda' also needs time to be broken in. Let him indulge in a few months of pleasure."

"When winter comes..."

"I will let him know what it means to 'beheaded when he sobers up'."

……

Meanwhile, in a secret workshop of the Shaofu (a government office).

Zhao Gao, wearing several layers of damp cloth, was directing the craftsmen to process piles of moldy beans and fodder.

"Chop it all up! Add some arsenic... no, some croton oil!"

"His Majesty said this is 'special rations' prepared for the Xiongnu. Anyone who dares to steal any will be executed!"

As Zhao Gao stirred the pot of "poisonous feed" that emitted a strange smell, he muttered to himself:

"This war...how come it's even dirtier than palace intrigue?"

At this moment, Xiang Yu was riding his horse, watching the caravan that was carrying out an "armed parade" in the distance.

The caravan's guards were all strong, muscular men, and hidden under the carts were all fine ring-pommel swords.

The one leading the group was none other than Liu Bang, who appeared harmless.

Liu Bang waved to Xiang Yu: "General Xiang! I'm going to do some business over there! Wait until I've lured all their horses over, then you can go and kill them!"

Xiang Yu's lips twitched slightly.

"These Qin people... their hearts are utterly black."

But he gripped the knife tightly, his eyes burning with fighting spirit.

"No matter how underhanded you try."

"I'll be the one to deliver the final blow."